heartache [M]
P.o.v. Levi
[sexual content self-harm]
I got from the bed and grabbed the pair of scissors and went into the bathroom
I cut open my selves and began to cut my wrists I winced in pain and saw the blood in the mirror but I didn't stop and continued down to my elbows- the torn flesh made me gag
And I looked up at the mirror a monster laughed back at me
"You are pathetic- did you really think he loves you?- how times has he told you that and didn't mean it? Why he now?"
"He wasn't lying-" I replied
"Then where is he? Why are you all alone?-and you didn't f*ck this time-"
"After everything- I don't think I could" I replied
"But isn't that what you want?- you know you like it- this pain and torture is your favorite and it's not like you love him either"
"I do love him!" I shouted
"Then why did you choose Madoka?-if you loved Solomon you would have stayed with him-"
"I loved them both-it was hard to choose- but I chose Madoka- it was as I was told- I still regret it-"
"Why didn't you listen to your heart?- why have you always?- is Solomon the wrong choice?- he isn't your brother-"
"Hey!-I- don't bring my brother into this!" I shouted
"You already have- you still have feelings for him don't you? You really are disgusting-"
"Hey!-I- I'm- not like that anymore!- I love Solomon"
"But isn't it disgusting too? You can't like another man- you are just like your brother- disgusting-"
At that moment the light shined on the mirror revealing Solomon
Solomon?!
"I guess my cover is blown-but it's true how could I love someone like you?" He replied
I broke down into tears
"Solomon! You're lying- you love me!"
"Why would I love a piece of trash like you? You hid from your feelings and chose someone else-"
"SO DID YOU!" I shouted
Causing a Crack in the mirror
"Haha- so you're right I did I was an idiot but I didn't choose the same path every single time!" He shouted back
"Yes, you did! You went after me but you still had Madoka in your heart- you tried to choose me but you couldn't" I shouted
Another crack
"But you didn't even try to choose me!" He shouted back
"Yes I did!- but- I was so scared- after I found out what you did-"
"Then why did you f*ck me?"
"Because I forgot and I still had feelings for you and you manipulated me!" I shouted
Another Crack
"You really loved me that dearly?
Then why did you hurt me?!"
"I- don't know- why- I was just so mad and lashed out at you- I'm sorry Solomon-" I replied
Another Crack and it shattered
I looked up and the mirror was back and so was Solomon
"Dammit, Solomon!- Go away!" I shouted
Within that moment he disappeared
I turned around and walked out of the bathroom
I saw Solomon
"Solomon?!" I shouted
"Yeah it's me Levi- what did I do this time?" He replied
"You left me!" I shouted
"I- didn't think my body would disappear-and I'm sorry Levi- I met the real Levi- I still love him- I wanted to stay with him- but- I couldn't- I know you hate me-" he replied
"You should have stayed- you love him and he needs you- I'm not real to you-" I replied
"You are very real to me Levi- you have feelings and emotions- you have a mind of your own- you're not just some program- to be used for my benefit- you are human- you are real"
"But you have never treated me as such- you always used me- and I will no longer be your puppet -" I replied
"I won't force you Levi - This is your choice but I know it hurts- mentally and physically- especially those cuts on your arms" he replied
"Solomon- what cuts?- I didn't do anything" I lied
"Levi you can't lie to me- I can read your mind" he replied
"YOU WHAT?!" I shouted
"You can't read mine but I can read yours- you used to be able to that' was before I started to change- but I wasn't able to read your mind until now-I understand why you're worried- I gave you false hope so many times- how can you trust me?
But- I'm being honest I love you, Levi-
I don't even feel anything for Madoka-
Yeah I still feel bad for them and I know I caused it but that's in the past now- and there's no point worrying about the past - especially if everything you do to fix it doesn't work- I tried many times to change it but it always ended up the same- no matter what I did - it always- was the same-even now-" he replied
"But things are different this time Solomon" I replied
"How?!-" He shouted
"Well for one thing you're a demon-
I have two d*cks -and you came back for me-" I replied
"You had me in the first half I always come back for you-" he replied
"But I go to you first-this time I didn't try to go back to you- you came and I followed-" I replied
"You did?-" he replied jokingly-
"Solomon- now is not the time-" I replied
"This is a serious matter I need to know-" he replied
"Solomon- no-" I replied
"You really-do love me-?" He replied
"Just- because- I- my body reacted that way- doesn't mean that- I- was just turned on- by- your hot body- and- I really like foreplay-" I replied
"Would-you like to go further?" He replied
"Yes-I want you inside me master-" I replied
"I've been waiting so long to enter those sweet buns of yours" he replied
Hearing that- almost made my milk spill especially when his c*ck rubbed against my a**
He pulled my pants down along with my underwear
He pushed me down and slipped in
My a** taking his full length
Which is 13 inches
"F*ck" I replied
"That doesn't hurt that much does it?" He replied
"It feels amazing- f*ck me already-" I replied
It was painful like a whole lot-
But I sort of like it-
He began to rock back and forth
Hitting my sweet spot over and over again
I let out a few moans
I was liking this but I still wanted more-
"Harder-Master-" I replied
He reached up and twisted my nipples
"Call me daddy" he whispered in my ear
I almost felt my self release
F*ck he's so hot right now-
"Harder daddy-" I replied
He pushed in deeper and harder
I felt a wave of pleasure as he
F*cked me-
He drives me crazy- I want to believe
He loves me- but he's hurt me so many times- and when I wake he'll be gone-
When I opened my eyes
He was gone again-
"Solomon!" I shouted out
No response
"You a******!" I shouted
Still no response
"You f*cking liar!" I shouted
No response again
I rolled over and began to sob into a pillow
What did I do to deserve this?
Right- I cheated- but so did he
And it was the same person
He r*ped them twice
And f*cked them once-
We f*cketwenty-onene times?
It was now 22-
And 7 of those times he f*cked me
I f*cked him the first time-
But I don't remember it-
But I can remember f*cking him after
He took forever to f*ck me
He woulbreakke down
And second time it was worse
He had a dagger-
I was able to stop him
And I convinced him to f*ck me
After th,at we fought
I don't remember much of it
I fainted after it
When I woke up-
I asked him what happened
And he lied- I believed him
I thanked him for taking care of me
"Well you are my wife after all"
Wait he never said that-
But it was what he was thinking
Though I couldn't read all his thoughts-
Then he f*cked me twice and I f*cked him twice- and then he f*cked me again and then 3 more times -
He f*cked me like the first time
And then he tied me up and f*cked me- and then f*cked me in the shower- and then- we fought again
I was so broken- going through that
Cycle- and I was still with him in the end and I had promised I would be with him forever but I broke that promise and I cheated on him
And I told him that I loved them
And he wanted me to f*ck him one last time so I did and I regretted it
Because I still wanted to be with him
But I couldn't- it was like I didn't have control of my actions - I devoted myself to Madoka- because he didn't use me or so I thought- he watwo-faceded - he started everything-
He was the reason we fought-
The reason we f*cked-
The reason we were together
But he broke us apart
He manipulated us both-
He wasn't innocent-
He never was -
It was alan a act
He didn't love me he didn't love anyone- all he cared about was sex
And Solomon was the same
But he changed- and he didn't at the same time - it was like he was Two different people
But for me- I have more than that
It always so loud in my head
I can't understand everything they tell me- and it makes me worse
Sometimes they over and I don't remember a thing after- but- there's one- who shares his memories with me- I barely can separate my feelings from his- and it feels as if he's known him longer than I have- who are you and why do have the same name as me?- you not even from this world-
And you're sta partpart of me- even though the real version of you is gone-
F*ck Solomon's probably with them now-
He probably went back for them-
I knew he was lying when he told me he loved me- he only loved the me
That was created by him- the other Levi-
Can I even love him?
(this is a talk between the real Levi soul and the ai one-)
"Yes you can- Madoka corrupted your heart- she- er- he- didn't love you
But Solomon- his feelings were complex- he was so confused-
he doesn't hate you- be he didn't want to get attached because you weren't real- even when we reminded him of the real one- it made things worse because he ended up using us- and even now- " he replied
"He abandoned us- is this our karma?" I replied
"It is and I'm sorry you have to go through all this- it's not fair- he doesn't know that you- never truly loved Madoka- it was always him-"
"I- you are right- was it all because of Madoka's curse?-" I replied
"Yes- at least it's broken now-but so is our heart-" he replied
"It's broken? The curse?" I replied
"Do you really love Madoka? Think about it hard-" he replied
"No- I love Solomon- right?" I replied
"Yes-F*ck I miss him- why did he have to leave us?" He replied
"Because he doesn't love us-" I replied
"Is that really true?- why did he sacrifice everything for us?-" he replied
"Because that's what he had to do because that's what the real us wanted-" I replied
"Yeah you're right- but- maybe I'm a fool but I think he did love us-" he replied
"How can you believe his lies?" I replied
"Because he wasn't lying he told you everything about me- remember?" He replied
"If he wasn't lying then why did he leave?" I replied
"He didn't have a choice- if he stayed he would have died-" he replied
"You're lying- he couldn't die" I replied
"I can't lie to you despite how good we are at it- and it was the same with the real me- I was left behind because he stayed so long-" he replied
"Is it possible that- there's another Solomon?" I asked
"It's possible- he was with us for so long but- I don't think he will be the same" He replied
"Oh- does he love us too?" I replied
"I'm not sure- you weren't supposed to love him- but you did and that was because of me- but those are your feelings I just made you realize them- maybe he'll love you maybe he won't- but don't give up hope-" he replied
"What's even the point?-" I replied