Operation: MONARCH, Part 1: The Conquest of Queen Mandy

"Jareeeeed!"

No, not you, Mandy. X,3 This one's an evil queen and you're a precious princess.

Boogey Coast; four years ago

The flames of the sinking ship rose to the dark sky. It happened in the dead of night: the phantom vessel preyed on the unsuspecting sailors, awaiting their chance to devour them in sapphire embers. Now as their souls ascend to the heavens, only one survivor remains.

Eight-year-old Himiko was dragged aboard the dark vessel, her vision blotted by demonic hands clasping at her. They left her in the back of a cell, shivering. Aside from the corpses of demons, she was all alone in the darkness. For five hours, she sat in despair, until a green demon with long black hair, resembling a hippy, walked in. "Captain Mandy says she will spare your life, but in return, you must help with the chores. You'll obey all the crewmen's orders, except for ones that will directly endanger your life. If you work hard, you'll also be given food and water."

"I-I-I want my mom and dad…"

"Sorry, but the captain says you will remain here indefinitely. If you wish to be taken home, you'll have to ask her directly."

"W-Will you take me to her?"

"Alright. But you'll have to do the talking."

The demons passed horrid glances to Himiko as Creeper led her upstairs. They smelled her despair and wanted a taste of it. Himiko stayed close to Creeper, believing he was the safest person to be around. "Okay. She's in here." Creeper stopped beside a door with the crew's Jolly Roger: the skull of a frowning, scowling girl with horn-shaped blonde hair. Himiko could already feel an unsettling air. That was before she opened the door.

It felt like a hurricane was trying to blow her back, except it was not wind, but Fear itself. Within all that black and red, a face peered at Himiko, sensually licking its big grinning teeth. If Himiko set foot in the room, that mouth would lick her dry. "Mmmmmm!" Sobbing, she ran down the stairs and into the lower cabin.

Creeper walked after her, finding her crying against the wall. "Start in here." The demon dropped a pale and mop beside her before leaving her be.

Himiko had been the Boogey Pirates' slave for four months. She rarely spoke and did as she was told, cleaning toilets with filth whose noxious scent could kill, feeding the sea monsters who would try to eat her, and preparing food for the captain's banquets with her Commanders. When not working, she was forced to remain in her cell, but once a day every few days, Creeper would gather up crumbs and leftovers for her to eat. At those times, she would ask him, "M-May I please speak to the captain?"

She made a bit more progress each time. On the 2nd visit, she moved her toes into Mandy's cabin, but retreated in a flash. The 3rd visit, she put her foot in before running. Then it was half a leg. Then a whole leg. She stepped on the floor of the cabin. Next, she started with the other leg. After a month and a half, her whole body could enter the cabin. But the ravenous face still awaited her. The Creeper assured her that it was an illusion and wouldn't hurt her, but it didn't soothe her fears. It took a lot of strength to merely get her foot in the door, but she would need more to get her feet over to Lord Mandy.

"It's kind of sad, really." Commander Azula said during a banquet. "My brother hasn't learned an ounce of firebending ever since our battle. All his proud talk about honor and personal growth and he's barely learned a thing. He barely resisted when we took over Ember Island."

"Aye, strong warriors are a rarity in this day and age." Commander Cortez, a skeleton in a black trenchcoat, replied. "You should've seen the pirates I clashed with 1,000 years ago."

"Hey, who's that kid?" asked Cindy Cortix, the captain's daughter.

Himiko flinched, realizing she'd been noticed, and went back to scrubbing the deck. She could still feel their glares on her, so she restrained on looking up. Mandy was at the top of the stairs, and Himiko could still feel her powerful aura, yet the Commanders were completely unphased. They were clearly adapted to Mandy's presence and did not fear her as much. Even on a casual dinner, she was still too scary to approach.

Himiko steadily built up her courage for four months, her same pair of clothes growing more ragged, and her body becoming filthier. This was barely any different than the ship she had been on before. She had been taken from servitude and forced into more servitude. Would Lord Mandy even set her free if she asked her? If she actually cared, she would have done so by now. That's what Himiko was afraid of, and it was that very fear that pushed her away from the captain. She may just have to accept the fact she would always be a slave. And when she accepted this inevitability, her fear dwindled.

She walked into Mandy's cabin once again. Himiko had buried her emotions and concealed her fear, fully prepared for Mandy's cold response. She walked slowly, past the mouth's teeth, only tensing a little when it licked her. But once she was past, she was at Lord Mandy's back. The captain drunk a bottle of wine as she focused on her videogame. "C-C-C-Captain Mandy…"

"Sigh… What?"

"I-I-I…I want to go home. I wanna see Mom and Dad…"

She drunk the wine again. After seven seconds, she put it down and replied, "Go back to your cell."

The very response she expected. "'kay." Himiko bowed her head and walked out. As expected, Mandy's heart was as cold as her aura. As they said, she cared for no one but herself. She wouldn't care if Himiko died in her cell. She was already rotting away as it is. And if she died, they could easily kidnap another child. Besides, Himiko's family had little money. These pirates couldn't even demand a ransom.

Another month passed and Himiko lay half-dead in her cell after a day's work. Just as she prepared to drift to sleep, Creeper opened her cell. "Oi, get up. The captain wants you."

Curious, Himiko groggily stood and followed him. Lord Mandy was wearing a dreary indigo raincoat with sunglasses, despite the sky being cloudy and gloomy. "Get on." she ordered. Himiko climbed on a boat with a Bokoblin, and Mandy joined as it was lowered to the sea. The Bokoblin rowed it to the nearby shore, no sound but the brushing of waves. Then, when at shore, Mandy and Himiko stepped off. The captain directed her into the back seat of a shabby gray car. The child obeyed, and Mandy took the driver's seat.

They drove in darkness for five hours. Himiko stayed in silence, too nervous to even fiddle with her fingers. She wasn't as afraid of her as before, but she wondered why Mandy was taking her this far. Perhaps she was planning to sell Himiko for a hefty amount. Still, how much of a profit could she make with such a worn-out slave.

Mandy parked the car on the outskirts of a village. Himiko silently and obediently followed her. She no longer cared where or why Mandy was taking her. Himiko had nowhere else to go, so any attempt of rebuttal or rebellion was pointless. Still, she couldn't help but feel this place was… familiar. Why, this neighborhood almost looked like…

"Okay, do any of these look like your house?" Mandy asked. Himiko gasped lightly. Upon careful observation, she recognized it as her hometown. A faint morning light was shining over the horizon. Himiko wandered around before spotting what was no doubt her house. She jogged up to it and knocked on the door.

After a few minutes, a chubby man answered, along with his wife. "H-Himiko!"

"Mom! Dad!"

The parents embraced their daughter, finally warming her after five months of cold and darkness. They didn't care of her filth and stench at this moment, they only wished to comfort her and welcome her home. "I'm so glad you're finally back. How did you escape? Did someone…"

"Yeah! It was…" Himiko turned, expecting Lord Mandy to be there. The dreaded captain hadn't followed her. Himiko led her parents outside the village, but neither Mandy or her distant parked car were around. It was as if she had left without even confirming if Himiko found her home.

"Sigh…" Mandy sighed, making the long journey back across the road. "Damn government slave-traders… making me waste all this time for an ungrateful brat."

A few years afterward; December, 2035

"Cap'n Mandy may act like a devil, but she be a soft little wench, she is!" Captain Slag said on Pirate Radio.

"She didn't earn the Emperor position at all!" Baron K. Rool said. "She scared the media into giving her the title. Although, I believe her relatives in the Kids Next Door attributed to the fact. They were already formidable back in those days, she probably used them to make her seem more powerful."

"Ah, Lord Mandy's all bark and no bite." Augustus Fizzuras said. "She's a big ol' softy! She even helped me defend the Noah."

These radio reports replaying in her mind, Mandy wobbled drunkly up the damp city street. Her bags had grown darker than her eyes. No matter how much she drunk, she couldn't get the memories out of her head. She was the laughing stock of the pirate world, especially after her humiliating defeat at the hands of Affright. That's what she got for helping Nolan in his mission. Just another example of her generosity… her weakness…

Mandy fell over in the car as Creeper drove her back to the ship. "You're becoming a real load, Captain." her minion said as he helped walk her to the cabin. "But you're still better than Boogey."

Koriko, Gotland

"Hm hm hm hmmmmm! Hm hm hm hmmmm!" Kiki Yamaka hummed a merry tune as she blissfully swept the floor of the bakery. The weather called for a beautiful day, so the young witch was eager to make deliveries. She heard a jingle and whirled around. "Good morning, how may we help you today?"

She was face-to-face with darkness in the form of Mandy McKenzie. The pirate's glare wrought of death. "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Kiki was immediately on her knees, pounding her forehead to the floor. "L-Lord Mandy!! How kind of you to greet our humble shop!!"

"SHUT UP, Kiki!" Mandy yelled with an eye half-closed. Kiki's head shot up, pale as Mandy tipped a sword to her neck. "You never cut off your hands like; like I asked you." She murmured drunkly and swung the sword, and as Kiki dodged, Mandy whirled and fell against a shelf, all the items crashing down on her.

"LORD MANDY!" Creeper cried, bursting in. "Why the HELL were you driving the ship drunk?!"

"Nnn, I got sick of all the swaying and waving, I wanted a nice LAND to settle down on."

"YOU DROVE THROUGH THE FUCKING TOWN! The anchor got tangled up on a playground!"

Outside, children were happily climbing the anchor's chain. A gaping path had been cleared through the city as wide as the ship. "Look, Yu, I found some potions!"

"HEY! Those aren't potions!" Creeper rushed back up to stop them.

"Kiki," Osono walked in, "what's all the commotion-" Mandy hit her with a Scare Stare. "AAAAAHHH!" She was dreaming that a chimpanzee in a diaper was beating her with a hotdog. The shop-owner ran upstairs.

"Ah'right Kiki, I'm takin' over this town, GIMME the key to the city!"

"B-But I don't have the key!"

"Well, fuck me and fuck a duck." Mandy mindlessly swung her cutlass, Kiki dodging each time. "That damn duck screwed me over, I knew I shoulda got with that rabbit!"

"Eh… would you like to lie down, Lord Mandy? You seem a little tired."

"I'M NOT TIRED!" Kiki flinched. "It's those damn Emperors, those damn fucking pirates and their rumors and DUCKS… How DARE they call me soft! I'M NOT SOFT! I'm as hard as a…as a bunny rabbit."

"The other Emperors have been saying bad things about you?"

"UUUUUUUGH." She moaned like a dying hippo, then started crying. "I dunno what to do, Kiki! No one takes me seriously anymore. WHY did Sirius have to die?! Why couldn't he live and tell me I'm a scary bitch? Why, I used to be the SCARIEST in the world before you KND became big city BIGSHOTS."

"Lord Mandy, forgive me, but you seem to be having a midlife crisis."

"Yeah, well if it's the midway point, where's my fucking power-up?!"

"Please, come sit down." Kiki kindly led her to a chair. "There. Mom always said alcohol was bad for ya. It doesn't help a witch fly and it doesn't help a pirate sail! But you've been a pirate for about 23 years, right? Doesn't it get exhausting?"

"Not as exhausting as your DRESS!!"

"Mmmm…" Kiki moaned, feeling sensitive about her old dress. "You know, a midlife crisis is another form of artist's block. You just need to take a break and maybe think things over, I guess. Give yourself time to find a new motivation. Heck, maybe you'll find that you wanna retire from pirating altogether. I'm sure there're plenty of other jobs you can be good at."

"I wanna be a WITCH Hunter."

"KYAAAAAAAH! No, I didn't mean that! Like, when you were a kid, is there something you always wanted to be?"

"Hnnnnuuuurrrr. I guess I…nnn-I always wanted to be a queen."

"Kikikikiki." Kiki grinned and laughed. "Yeah, we all wanna be queens. I, for one, wanna be Delivery Queen!"

"That TEARS it!" Mandy stretched up off the chair. "I'm gonna be QUEEN of the Pirates!"

"Mandy, I think you may have missed the point a tad."

"Shut up, you damn fine turkey! I'm 'onna be a queen and YOU'RE gonna throw me a magic show with cake and tea, or I'mma…I'mma eat your fruitcake!" She lazily swung her arm and dropped to her knees.

"Eh hehe. I'm not that good of a magician, but perhaps Wendy could suffice."

"Yeah, bu'yuh know what's fucked up? Lizzie Devine is STILL alive. That fat pig hasn't appeared ONCE in the entire Nextgen, but she's still kickin' and thinkin' she's relevant."

"I don't know who that is, and I doubt you do, too."

"Ehhhhh, okay, I think I'm sobering up now." Mandy stretched back to full height, bending her back. "Thank ye for the talk, Kiki. It was muy educational. I goin' back to the ocean to throw up." Mandy managed to navigate out of the bakery and climb the anchor to her ship. She reached the helm and tilted the Boogey Coast right-side-up, slowly backing it toward the sea.

Kiki could only watch awkwardly as dozens more buildings were pushed down, citizens screaming in the distance. "I really need a vacation…"

One advantage the Big Mom Pirates had was control over their own planet. So, if Mandy wanted to make the masses fear her again, she needed to rule a planet of her own. For the next several days, her crewmen had been researching possible planets to conquer. It couldn't be just any meager planet like Aquaria or Glomour, it had to be a planet that could really draw peoples' attention. Then, Creeper arrived with splendid news.

"Captain! I just found the PERFECT planet for us! It's time for you to reclaim the throne you rightfully deserve!"

"Spill it."

"I'm sure you know about the New Planet Hyrule. We did some reading up on it, and apparently it's made up of descendants from the Hyruleans who once lived on Earth. The kingdom is ruled by a new royal family, but according to an ancient tradition, if descendants of Link or Zelda were to show up, the title of King, Queen, or whatever Monarch have you would be all theirs! All you'll have to do is walk up to the front gates and say, 'Hey, I'm here for my flippin' throne!' You'll have to hand over some blood as part of a DNA test or something; 'course, knowing your reputation, that may not even be necessary."

"Hmmm… I normally don't enjoy doing things the easy way, but if it legally belongs to me, who'm I to argue?"

"Great! So, what say we set sail to Hyrule and make you a queen?"

"Hold on, Creeper. We need to do this properly. We need to let the people of Hyrule know how powerful we are."

"You mean like an invasion?"

"Something like that."

Hyrule Castle Town; January, 2036

Dressed in a sleek, sky-blue gown, Mandy was practically invisible to the Hyruleans. Even though this town had a medieval feel, the people dressed modern. She had to commend this world for aging well. Mandy visited a café and treated herself to some coffee. She checked her phone and confirmed the time: 1:40pm. Since it was close to the appointed time, Mandy calmly made her way to the castle. The first gates were left open for tourism, but the 2nd gates were closed. Two guards stood firmly before them.

"Ahem, hello, Miss." A guard greeted. "Access beyond here is prohibited unless you have official business."

"Oh, it's official, alright." Mandy tilted up her sunglasses. "Tell them the queen has returned."

Of course, this was a rhetoric demand, for Mandy knew they wouldn't let her in that easy. That's why she trapped them in a nightmare and burst through the gates with her own strength. She crossed the drawbridge and approached the castle gates, powerfully knocking on them. A gardener creaked the door open. "Eh… May we help you?"

"This is my blood." Mandy said, showing him a vial of red. "Is this enough to prove I'm Zelda's descendant?"

"Oh ho ho. Well, Miss, I'll happily have this examined, but you may be bound for disappointment, as have millions of others before you. Nearly every family in the world has submitted blood, even Gorons and Minish."

"I think you'll find my blood to bear more satisfying results."

Gerudo Town

In the blistering heat of Gerudo Desert, Gerudo Town was a pleasant oasis with average temperature. Alas, temperatures were through the roof today as fires rained from the very heavens. Bronze-colored airships with fire insignias loomed over the oasis town as Flare Dancers and former Fire Nation soldiers drowned the Gerudo in flames.

Marching through the town gates was the Flame Division Commander, known as both "Blue Demolisher" and "Mandy's spiritual sister," Azula. She saw lightning bolts striking the ships from the center of town, and the culprit responsible was a young Gerudo with a very large braid of red hair. Azula smirked and shot her own lightning at the child, who gasped and dodged in a heartbeat. "You must be Lady Riju." Azula said with a smirk. "Gerudo's youngest chief in centuries."

"Chief, Leader of the Gerudo KND, and a rather proficient lightningbender." Riju replied. "And who might you be, Outsider?"

"I would think I'm quite famous to you people. Why, 23 years ago, I briefly fought with your king, Ganon."

"We do not speak of that monster!" Riju unleashed a bolt at Azula, who effortlessly caught it on her fingers and directed it at a building. Angered, Riju drew her sword, Scimitar of the Seven, and leapt off the roof to battle Azula. Her feet aflame, Azula's kicks met with Riju's electric blade, but the fallen princess merely withstood and built up the Electric Chi in her body. Azula flipped away and struck a bolt at Riju, who easily deflected it skyward, leaving her defenseless as Azula struck her with a Fire Dart.

Azula is infamous as the former princess of the Avatar Realms' Fire Nation. Having been locked in solitary confinement, she was rescued and recruited by the Brotherhood of Evil. It was during that time she found a kinship with Mandy, whom was also involved with them. After the Firstborn Quest, Azula and some rogue Fire Soldiers joined Mandy's crew, and she found a new purpose in life as Mandy's right-hand.

Somewhere on the sea

"Steel your hearts, men!" ordered Prince Sidon, bravely piercing Poes with his trident. "These ghouls may be all soul, but they're lacking in soul!"

"That makes no sense!" yelled a Zora sailor with beaming eyes. "But he said it so coolly!!"

A Zora trade vessel was under attack by a ghostly blue and black vessel known as the Black Skull. "Let us see what Hyrule's sailors have to offer! Yohohohohoho!" laughed Cortez, forming a swarm of swords and hooks in the air from his ghostly aura. One by one, the blades swooped down and slashed the Zoras, yet Sidon seemed to read their movements and countered them quickly.

"Zora Jujutsu!" Sidon moved his hands swiftly, controlling the seawater with his own chi to douse the Ember spirits who threatened to burn the ship.

"Try to dodge THIS, amigo!" Cortez declared, suddenly throwing open his coat as hundreds of bones flew out and pierced every corner of the ship. "Yohohohoho!"

"Black Heart" Cortez was once renowned as the Pirate King of Mushroom's oceans. 1,000 years ago, his precious Skull Gem, a magic jewel which powered his ship, was stolen by an enemy pirate, leaving Cortez's crew stranded on Keelhaul Key. The souls of his crew haunted the island, until Lord Mandy arrived with the Skull Gem having been "procured" from its captors. After proving her power to Cortez, the ghostly captain joined her army of monsters.

Kakariko Village

The poor children and elders of the Sheikah hid in their homes, for all the capable warriors fell one by one by these swift assassins. They could be mistaken as Gerudo, for they were all women in ninja attire, cutting the Sheikah down with katana. The only exception was their leader: Rā's al Ghūl.

With shining green eyes and veins, the muscular assassin clashed with Dorian and Cado, the Sheikah's strongest guards. The two summoned 200 Shadow Clones to dive onto the invader, but all Rā's needed to do was break the earth with his sandbending and stab all the clones with sandy needles. Dorian and Cado seized the chance to decapitate Rā's from both sides, only for the Sand Clone to crumble, and for the real Rā's to stab them both in one strike.

Rā's al Ghūl was a feared assassin from Gotham City on Planet Superbia. Using the revitalizing properties of a Lazarus Pit, Rā's led the League of Assassins for 500 years, ridding the world of criminal scum. When Lord Mandy wandered into their hideaway with hundreds of demons, the League viewed her as a possible successor to Rā's' title. After proving her power, Mandy earned the League's loyalty, and with her resources, they've been able to assassinate villains across several worlds.

Lon Lon Ranch

"WAAAAAAH!" The young ranch girl was chased by dozens of undead Cuccos. "I'm sorry for throwing you in the river!! I just loved seeing you fly up the cliff! NO, NOT THE BOMBS, WAAAAAH!" The chickens dropped bombs on her.

"Ah hahahahahaha!" laughed Django de los Muertos, bringing many dead farm animals to life with his Mystic Guitar. Mr. Ingo the 56th was not popular with the undead horses for some reason, and Kimaya Heartly threw Rotten Corpse Gas Bombs inside the barn to kill more animals. "Man, how the hell did you manage without us this long, Cindy? Getting dead animals has never been easier!"

"You're double-dead if you criticize me again." Cindy hissed.

"You lucky you don't have a nose, sistuh." Kimaya remarked.

"No Nose" Cindy Cortix is the daughter of Mandy and Billy. She found she is good with animals, but prefers those of the undead variety. She is desperate to be as good at fearbending as her mother, but currently, she is angry at Mandy for not being able to add Moge-ko to the crew. She thought Moge-ko would've made a great friend. Cindy is also the captain of Mandy's old ship, the Boogey Bay.

Hyrule Castle

The stand-in royal family were utterly mortified: when Mandy's blood was poured onto Zelda's statue, its Triforce mark glowed golden. "B-B-But… it can't be!" stuttered the king. "No! I refuse to believe it! This criminal can NOT be Zelda's legacy! She doesn't even have the Triforce on her!"

"If that thing mattered at all to me, I could get it back." Mandy stated. "But all I want is the throne. Now pack your things and get the hell out."

"Absolutely not! Royal blood or not, you're a Pirate Emperor, a Top Wanted criminal. Your crimes are a disgrace to the noble kingdom, and to Zelda's teachings—"

But two Sheikah women dropped from the ceiling, holding swords to the cowering man's neck. "It is not your place to defy the sacred prophecy. One day, Zelda's bloodline would return, and the throne would return to its rightful owner. And Hyrule will truly be reborn anew."

"You can't be serious! This monster will lead our world to ruin!"

"Uuuuuugh! S'LAME! Get this nameless nobody outta here!" called a loud girl's voice. A beam of black magic struck the ground at the king's feet, and it caved in immediately.

"OW! My back!"

"Okay, Lord Mandy, we all done up there in the cloud place." The captain and Sheikah faced up at their next guest: she appeared to be a fairy with pitch-black bat wings, a purple dress with black diamonds, and long blue hair that curtained her backside. Her red eyes seemed dense as she picked her nose with her toes. "What's the name of that place again?"

"The sky." Mandy sighed.

"Man, I was gonna say 'ski.'"

Boogey Pirates Anti-Fairy Division Commander

SIVAM NOILLIMREV

"Now, I believe it is time for my coronation." Mandy discarded her sunglasses. "I'll make sure everyone knows what I'm capable of. Especially… the Kids Next Door."

Now loading…

Kids Next Door mission…

Operation:

M.O.N.A.R.C.H.

Mandy

Officially

New

Absolute

Ruler

Cursing

Hyrule

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