Chapter Nineteen:

'Mr. Peters, may I please speak with you?'

I asked very politely when he answered the door. He looked at his daughter as if he hated me with every cell in his being, but opened the door for me to come in. The mother sat there not even looking at me. Sam came to me and bravely took my hand.

'Young man, I would suggest you drop my daughter's hand right now or leave!'

'I have come here to tell you something, and I am sorry if it is going to hurt you, but Sam is pregnant with my child.'

He looked at me with cold eyes. 'Yes, I know. She told me already. So, what are your intentions?'

'My intention is to be part of their life from now on. I need to speak with Sam to clearly state my intentions with her, but first I wanted to let you know.'

'You, Mr. October, think it is so easy, don't you? But it is not. That girl there is my child, and she is living in my house, so we will decide what happens, not you. Do I make myself clear?'

'Yes, of course, Mr. Peters.'

'This is what will happen, and don't even think about interrupting me, young lady! We will book you for an abortion because you two cannot make clear decisions. We, as your parents, will go with you. Are we clear?'

She looked at her father with the same hatred that he had looked at me.

'Do I have a choice here?'

'No!' You may speak to that boy for the last time, please take your time. I need to clear my head, but when I come back, you'd better be gone son, because I will not leave matters the way they are now. You will not win in this house!'

He left and I stood there questioning why Sam said nothing when he is clearly a control freak.

'Jordi, do you know what he could do to you and my mother? Do you think I should say something and see how the people I love get hurt? Are you serious right now?'

'Sam, I am going to be honest with you. Today I found out that my life expectancy is less than a year. I will understand if you decide not to go through with this relationship, because I know now that I will not be much use to you or even be able to see the birth of my child.'

All her fight and spunk that I knew she had possessed, vanished right in front of me.

'Well, if you are giving up then let me just tell you, what is the use of having a part of you when you are gone? So, thank you for making the decision for me, like everybody here. Maybe I should just consider the abortion to make everyone's life easier than mine. Think how I would suffer when you're gone. Yes, you are right. It is time I became as selfish as that pig of a father who just left. So, here is your answer Jordi, I am selfish and will have an abortion, so I won't have a part of you when you are gone. I think now I've also had enough of all this drama in my life.'

I could only look at her and after a while spoke.

'You could never be selfish, Sam, even if you tried. I only thought of myself when I came out of the hospital and when the numbness faded, the only silver lining was that my life would continue through my child. I guess it is not to be, goodbye, Sam!'

She didn't say goodbye to me or allow me to see her breaking down. She went into the house and shut the door on me. I wished at that very moment I could take my scooter, ride into something and kill myself. What was there to live for when the clock ticked away every single day telling you that you are minutes closer to death?

At home I went straight to my room. I was booked off for four days, maximum rest. I couldn't believe how 'maximum' was ruling my world. I was in maximum heart pain, not to mention the maximum time I had left. Losing the girl, I have ever loved and the only child I would ever conceive was too much for me.

I fell on my knees and prayed for the decisions that needed to be made, sending a special prayer that I wish to meet my child one day. I was shaken by my grief and when my mother knocked on the door, I told her to go away and allow me some space.

I woke up with the very person I chased away yesterday bringing me breakfast. On the tray was a gift for my unborn child. It was a diary. I read the note she had written on the first page. She had left a gap open for us to add in the word 'son' or 'daughter', from dad, mom and grandma with love! I cried again and this time I had to tell my mother that she would not see her grandchild. That doubled the hurt.

'Look, Jordi, I have never interfered in your life, but I want you to call that girl and tell her not to go through with it for all our sakes. Then I will go and visit that father of hers and have it out once and for all.'

'Ma, I made a decision yesterday because of what I want. I am thinking of Sam, but you need to trust me on this now. It must be her decision.'

Later Sam let me know her appointment was the next day at 12. I wondered if I should be stubborn, or just be there for her for the last time.

'I am coming with you, because you need me to be there for the last time. Tell your dad that the least he can do, is to take me along.'

Needless-to-say, the bloody coward did not even go with. It was only the mother, Sam and I. My mother did not want me to go, but I had to be there for Sam. She prayed for wisdom for us both and that God would intervene before it was too late. Sitting in the back of the car on our way to the clinic, I took Sam's hand and even though I wasn't very religious, prayed for the intervention my mother requested. When I opened my eyes, I kissed her hand. Tears were rolling down my face unashamedly.

Sam stopped me as I was about to climb out the car at the clinic clasping our hands and pulling me back.

'Jordi, if I was to do this is our relationship finished?'

'Do you really want an answer from me, Sam, when you've already decided for us?'

'Yes. I want you to decide for us, before it is too late, Jordi.'

'It could never be over Sam. Yes, it will be hard to come back from this, but we've been through so much and I know we will be okay. I am here because I choose to be with you. I love you! I want you to know that my greatest wish, when this is over, is to have you with me, even though I don't have long to live. I still want you to leave that house and come live with me.'

'Thank you for choosing me, Jordi. We will be just fine you'll see, never doubt me when I say I love you, okay?'

She looked into my eyes and all I could do, was shake my head, the emotion was choking me up.

'Mom, please, I want you to go back! I have changed my mind. I want my child and Jordi. I choose them,' Sam said suddenly. I could see the fear in her mother's eyes, but that was her business, mine was in my arms. Back at the Peters' house I was ready for war, but Sam stopped me.

'Wait for me for a bit, Jordi. If I am not out in a half-an-hour, come and look for me.'

I saw clothing being thrown out and then the door being shut loudly after Sam. We picked up her clothing and her mother brought out a bag to put it in. Sam held her mother and cried, but her mother stood there like a bloody broke-down robot.

'Mrs. Peters, this girl stayed here for you, to protect you. Why do you allow this?

I packed her stuff and we left for my place.