Unstoppable

I haul a big, black suitcase into the passenger seat and slam the truck door. I hop down about a foot or two from the stoop and clap off my hands. Matty shuts the back door of the moving truck and plants his hands on his hips, heaving a big sigh.

Mom rushes out of the house hugging a small box to her chest, her messy bun flying askew. "Wait, Matías!" she cries. She slows her pace as she reaches her two children and gingerly hands Matty the box.

"What is it?" he asks, eyeing Mom playfully as he takes it.

Mom claps her hands together. "Just something I put together."

Matty opens the folds of the cardboard box carefully, pulling out a small picture frame. I didn't know that Mom admired scrap booking. Three separate pictures of Matty, Mom, and I are taped together with a jumble of different backgrounds and colors. They may be ripped from three separate photographs, but Mom has glued them together. "It shows that no matter where you are in the world—" she starts. She looks at me. "—This goes for you, too, mija. No matter where you are, how far you go, we'll always be together, somehow."

Matty wipes his eye carefully and embraces Mom, pulling me into the hug. "Te amo," he whispers through tears.

We lie in each other's arms for a few minutes, just soaking in one another, trying to hold on for as long as possible, hold on to this feeling of love, of family.

A feeling I haven't felt in much too long.

After we hug, Mom takes her hand and frames Matty's face, wiping his tears away with her thumb. "I'm sorry I didn't believe in you for so long, mi vida," she whispers. I don't think I was supposed to hear it, but despite how softly my mother said it, I heard the words slip from her mouth. She embraces him once more. "You will do great, great things, amor."

Matty nods out of gratitude and faces me. He wraps his arms around me and we squeeze each other tightly. I've spent fifteen years with him. We've never been apart for more than a few days at the most. Now, he's moving across the country and I don't know how long it will be until I see him in person again. I think back to all the memories we've made, specifically in the last couple years. We were always close, but now, we're closer than ever. I think about the fact that our relationship might slowly slip and fade away after we both go to college and start our own lives.

Tears well in my eyes and Matty seems to notice. He pulls away and tilts his head pitifully. "Don't cry, Blanca," he says softly. "You won't miss me too much." He winks. I know he's doing that big brother thing where they tease you to try and lighten the mood, but he has no idea how much I'm going to miss him. I squeeze him tighter, burying my face in his chest.

He rubs my back comfortingly. "Don't think about the old memories," he says, as if he read my mind, "think about the ones we'll make in the future."

Images suddenly flood my head. Visiting each other during the holidays, catching up and creating new experiences and escapades, getting into all sorts of trouble. I think of meeting his future partner and children, and him meeting mine. I think of the family trips we'll take, one day, when Mom can give herself a break. I feel warmth flood every pore in my body, overtaking me with joy for things I haven't even done yet.

I let out a sigh of relief, as if I am exhaling all the toxic thoughts I have had over the past months. Letting it all out, ready to take on what comes ahead and what challenges I'll meet, soon enough. Ready to start fresh, create something new, something I have never experienced before. Ready to figure out who I want to be.

Matty whispers softly into my ear, "Blanca, before I go, I just want you to know that you are an amazing person. One of the most amazing people I've ever met." He pauses. "I want you to know that I think Alden is worth your time."

I pull away, looking up into my brother's eyes. I try to project and give off a sense of confusion and intrigue.

"Listen, I care about you more than almost anyone," he says. "That means a lot. And if I think that Alden deserves a second chance with you, well, that means a lot too."

I smile a little.

"If I want what's best for you, and I think Alden is going to help work towards getting what's best for you, that must mean something, right?"

I nod slightly, still smiling.

He lowers his voice slightly. "But I do have a couple of pieces of advice." He leans forward an inch or two. "Talk to Mom about him, but also talk to Alden."

I raise an eyebrow. "About what?"

He doesn't shrug like it isn't a big deal or act self-conscious. His face is determined and serious. "Talk to him about your feelings. Talk to him about your issues, whether it's related to him or not." I know he's talking about my issues with Alden. "Talk to him about what you want in your relationship. Without talking and setting your boundaries, you're only going to fall apart again." He takes a breath, using more emphasis this time. "Talk to him about what you want from him, ask him what he wants from you. You two have to be on the same base in your relationship. You have to." He shakes his head slightly. "Otherwise, it's a lost cause and it isn't worth doing all over again."

I didn't even get the chance to tell Matty about the notes from Alden, the apologies, the proposal of wanting to talk to me, wanting to start over. The fact that Matty thinks Alden is worth it without even knowing about the notes… Is that some sort of sign? A sign that maybe Alden is worth my time? That he's worth seeing and making things right, even if it doesn't work out in the end; just knowing that you tried makes up for it all?

I nod promptly. "Thank you," I breathe.

He nods and smiles. "Always." He pulls me closer before finally climbing into the driver's seat of the moving truck and waving goodbye all the way down the street.

As soon as he turns the corner, Mom takes my hand and squeezes it lovingly. "Your brother is headed in a new direction." She turns to face me. "But I don't want you to go in the same direction."

I cock my head to the side. "What do you mean?"

She smiles. "I want you to go in your own direction, Blanca."

My heart jolts, but it feels good, like dropping on a roller coaster, the adrenaline pumping through your entire body, a big grin on your face. "Mamá, there's something I need to tell you."

She nods. "You can tell me anything, amor," she says.

I wrap my arms around her and squeeze tightly, hoping that I send some sort of message saying how much I love her, that I forgive her for the state she has been in for the past years, that no matter what happens, I will never stop loving her and never stop trying to keep our relationship alive.

Just like how I'm going to try, try with everything I've got, everything that I have and am, to save my relationship with Alden. Whether it ends in us getting back together, just being friends, or being mortal enemies and never speaking again, I will try my hardest to save it.

Only, I won't be the only one working at it. I'll make a goal that if I'm not happy, I'll talk about it. If he won't talk, he's not worth it, no matter how badly that hurts. I just need to remember that I'll only be hurting more if I don't end it.

"Mom, you know that I had a boyfriend." Her face falls slightly, only out of surprise. "We were together for almost six months. That's half a year of me not telling you anything." I feel a lump in my throat, but I've been crying for two months. There's a time where you can help it, and that time is not. I swallow the lump and keep talking, my voice strong and steady. "And I am really, really sorry. I don't want to do anything like that to you again."

Mom blinks a few times. "Blanca, mija, thank you," she says softly, rubbing my cheek with her thumb softly. "I forgive you." She heaves a sigh. "I also apologize for getting so upset. I just— I didn't know how to deal with it." She frowns and tucks a lock of hair behind her ear, looking a little embarrassed. "You know my relationship with your father was a disaster from the beginning. I was just worried and thought of the worst possible thing as soon as I found out. But, I mean, what was I supposed to think when I found out you had a secret boyfriend?" Her voice cracks and she places a hand on her neck and clearing her throat. "I think I finally understand how my mother felt when she met Juan."

I nod. "I'm so sorry," I say again. I can't say it enough times and think that I've gotten through to her. I feel terrible. I just want to make it up to her.

Mom shakes her head. "It's alright, Blanca," she says, placing her hands on my shoulders and rubbing them repeatedly. "You're growing to be such an intelligent, mature young woman." She sighs. "I just have to learn to grow with you. I had to with Matty, only it was so last minute. I want to take my time with you, mija."

I nod and wrap my arms around her. "Mom, thank you for listening."

"Of course."

I pull away gently. "Mom, I need to make things right with Alden. Even if things don't turn out the way I hope, I need to fix what has broken."

Mom nods. "I understand." She smiles. "You're just so much smarter than I was when I was a junior. I was so blind, so lost. And here you are, figuring everything out on your own, and just glowing as you travel." She grins. "You're a star, Blanca."

I squeeze Mom's hand. "I love you." She nods in agreement as I run down the road, racing to Alden's house. Sure, I don't have a car, and yes, I have to run all the way to his house, but hey, love makes you do crazy things.

I pant heavily as I dart across the street, rushing down the sidewalk. The words from Alden's note run through my mind over and over again, more hope flooding me with every step.

To get from my house to Alden's is a fifteen-minute walk.

However, according to newly found information, it's a seven-minute run.

I come to an abrupt stop outside at the bottom of the porch, chills zipping through me. I shake my head promptly. I won't let doubt get the better of me. Not this time, not when I am so close to finally making someone of myself, doing something memorable and meaningful. Not now. Not again.

I march up the stairs and rap on the door. Hard. Physical strength has never been my strong suit, but with all this adrenaline in me, I feel stronger than I ever have before.

I hear the doorknob twist and Alden's face appears behind the oak door. He looks so solemn and sober. Like he's been hardened since the last time I saw him. His eyes light up and his face falls motionless. "Blanca." The syllables slipping out of his mouth strengthen me even more.

I nod heavily. "I read your notes."

He glances behind him and steps out onto the porch, shutting the door carefully behind him. He's been so delicate with everything. The door, his handwriting, his words. It's like he's afraid he'll break something else.

"Listen," I sputter before he can say anything, "I just— I want to be honest with you, but I don't want to hurt your feelings in the process. I just don't—"

Alden takes my hand, forcing me to stop talking. "Blanca," he whispers. "You don't have to worry about hurting me."

I pour out everything that has been hitting at me for the last months. Every thought that has rapped at my skull and stung at my heart, I let it all out.

"When we first started dating, I felt like my dreams were finally coming true. I had always dreamed of going out with you, Alden. Ever since I moved here. You always caught my eye. It just— It broke my heart when things weren't perfect. And it isn't on you at all, that was on me. I had too high of expectations and I should have known that every relationship needs work.

"I was just really confused and tried not to think about the bad stuff. I tried to only focus on the good that could happen, but I know that isn't healthy. I— I'm sorry, but it was very overwhelming to have you as a boyfriend. You were very clingy and always needed to be around me. You always got jealous whenever I had plans with Matty or Julian and it was really hard. It put a lot of pressure on me and that wasn't fair. I'm not trying to lecture you, because I know you've already admitted to that. I just— I want to say how I feel."

Alden nods. "I know. I understand completely." He pauses. "I'm really sorry."

I look down. "When you told me you loved me, on my birthday, I—" I feel my eyes tearing up. I really, really don't want to cry right now, yet here come the waterworks. "I told you I loved you too, but—" My voice cracks. "I didn't."

Alden goes silent and lets me continue.

"I didn't want to upset you, so I just went along with it, but I felt like I was being sucked into some black hole that I wasn't ready for. Things felt like they were moving all too fast. I just didn't know what to do or who to turn to. I felt really lost and stuck. I felt pressured to go along with whatever happened because I didn't want to disappoint anyone, but during that whole process, I was just disappointing myself. I felt so much pressure and stress all the time, nothing was enjoyable anymore, not really. I felt like everything I did was such an act. I just felt like I didn't know who I was anymore."

Alden sniffs. "I'm so sorry."

I shake my head. "It was my first relationship, Alden, don't feel bad. I didn't know how to handle any of this—"

Alden interrupts me. "All my other girlfriends broke up with me because I was too afraid to lose them. I couldn't let go of them. I now know that you feel the same way and you deserve better." He pauses. "I'm not trying to guilt-trip you, either, Blanca." He sighs. "I just— I don't even know. I just want you to be happy."

I take a deep breath and wipe the corner of my eye. "Alden," I say, placing a hand on each of his shoulders, "you make me happy."

Alden blinks a few times.

I inhale deeply. "Listen, the last six months have turned my life upside down. It was like I was riding a roller coaster and it stopped halfway through a loop-the-loop. Everything changed and, yes, it was overwhelming, but it was also exhilarating. I did things I never thought I'd do and things happened to me that I never thought would happen. I mean, you got a group of people to shout happy birthday to me!" I laugh and he smiles. "Alden, we've had flaws, a lot of them. Every relationship does. And some relationships don't make it."

I pause and think about everything I have said and everything I'm about to say. It's always good to have a plan and an outline. It's also good to do what your heart desires. People think that your mind and your heart are two different data bases, but I think that you can make them work together and achieve the unachievable. With logic and intent, wits and passion, reason and soul, a million doors are opened to you.

"Alden, ours is going to make it." His face lights up ever so slightly. "I have no idea how far it will make it, but I know that regardless, it is not over. This is not the end of our story." I take his hand and squeeze it passionately. "I love you, Alden Clegg."

His lips quiver, cracking piece by piece into a smile. "You mean it?"

I nod. "I've never been so sure of anything in my life."

Alden wraps his arms over my shoulders. I lean on him, my face in his neck. He pulls apart slightly, so our noses almost touch, and presses his lips against mine. Here we are, standing on Alden Clegg's front porch.

Alden freaking Clegg.

Just like I've always fantasized.

He pulls away and rubs my back gently. "What are you thinking?" he asks softly.

"I think this is rare."

"What do you mean?"

I shrug. "Couples don't usually make up like this. They never really talk about it. I mean, in movies, one does this great, big, romantic gesture, but that's not how it should work." I chuckle to myself. "I think most of the couples we love need therapy."

Alden smiles. "So what are you saying?"

I grin and rest my cheek on his shoulder. It feels so comforting, being so close to him again. "I'm saying that this kind of chance comes once in a blue moon."

* * *

"Yo como manzanas," I say slowly, enunciating every syllable.

"Yo como manzanas," Julian says in a flash.

"Y-Yo… Uh." Alden has his concentrated face on. His eyebrows furrowed, a single vein in his forehead pulsing slightly, his lips pursed. "How do you say apples again?"

I smile. "Manzanas."

"Dang." Alden grins. "Why is 'apples' such a long word?"

I shrug. "You're really criticizing the Spanish language right now?"

Alden nods. "I guess. A little."

I shake my head. "Do you realize how messed up the English speaking language is?"

"How do you say 'I love you' in Spanish?" he asks, ignoring my question and taking my hand, rubbing it back and forth with his thumb.

"How do you say 'you guys are adorable and I'm actually dying' in Spanish?" Julian counters, watching us in an excited little ball across the floor.

I turn back to Alden. "Te quiero."

Alden smiles and repeats my words. "Te quiero."

He leans over and kisses me lightly. I hear Julian squeal and pull away from my boyfriend, laughing lightly.

Julian's phone pings next to me on the floor and I pick it up out of instinct. I gasp playfully, aiming the screen at Julian. "Looks who's texting you, loverboy!" I say in a singsong tone.

Julian blushes and snatches his phone, typing away madly.

"How long has that been going on?" I ask, leaning into Alden.

"There's nothing 'going on,'" he says, but he's grinning.

"Nothing going on between you and Roy Norton?" Alden teases. "C'mon, the guy doesn't contact anyone, he's very protective of his number."

Julian shrugs. "All you have to do is ask. If you ask like a normal human being, he doesn't think twice!"

I shrug. "Maybe if you ask."

He smiles and shakes his head at me. "You know, I'm all for this relationship, but ever since you two have gotten back together, you think every human interaction means there's a spark or something."

I snort. "That's not true!"

Julian raises an eyebrow. "I mean, three months you guys have been back together and I've noticed it." He shakes his head in a fake disapproving way. "You lovebirds make me sick."

I shrug. "It's your fault. You're the one who called us 'unstoppable.'"

He smiles. "You are."

He stands up, stretching his arms and nearly touching the ceiling. "But I do need to go," he says.

"Where?" I ask.

He shrugs. "Out."

I roll my eyes. "What did he say?"

Julian groans. "Nothing!" I know it will only be a matter of moments before he gives in. "Okay, okay, Roy asked if I wanted to go to the pool with him."

Alden shrieks joyfully. I didn't know he had that in him. "Have fun!" he cries.

"Not too much fun," I say, hugging him before he takes off.

I sit on the floor next to Alden again and sigh happily. "What's up?" he asks.

I shrug. "I just feel so 'at home.'"

He grins. "You are. We're sitting on your bedroom floor."

I shake my head. "I just feel really in place right now. Like every puzzle piece has finally clicked into place."

He nods, taking my waist and pulling me closer. "Me too."

I kiss his forehead lightly. "Thank you, amor."

Alden grins. "I love it when you call me things in Spanish." He cocks his head to the side. "Thanks for what?"

I shrug. "You know, I've noticed our growth. You're just trying so hard to keep this going. I just— I really appreciate it." I pause. "Amor."

* * *The universe works in very mysterious ways, just trying to get us along the path of life without a scratch. Of course, the universe is new to this thing. The universe is like a new parent, trying to make everything perfect for their children, but messing up constantly. And yet despite how much they mess up, they know that they've created something beautiful and messy and in some twisted way, perfect. The universe surprised me when Alden's note showed up in my sketchbook out of the blue, without warning or even talking to him in years. The universe shocked me when I realized that being with Alden was different than I had always thought. They surprised me when Alden and I broke up. I was distraught, you know this. I thought that if I just waited and worked harder that it would work out. Obviously, it did, but after, I didn't think things with Alden would ever work again. Of course, the universe threw another surprise my way with another letter from Alden. And again, when Matty told me Alden was worth giving a second chance without even knowing about the apology. The universe knows, they're just making their way through this whole 'parenting thing' right beside you. Even if you can't see them, they're there.

Ever since Alden and I started dating, my life has been totally different. I mean, your first boyfriend will do that to you. My experience may have not been all that I wanted it to be, but who's experience goes as planned, anyway?

What I wanted for as I long as I can remember is a fairytale, a romantic comedy. I wanted a prince charming to come and whisk me away, dissolving all my problems and making me the happiest girl alive. It's sort of crazy to think that even in my junior year of high school, I was still expecting that. When Alden asked me to be his girlfriend, reality hit me like a bag of bricks. The truth is that there is no real prince charming. There are people. There are millions of people that roam this earth, some are absolute monsters and some seem near perfect, but no one can really fulfill the role of being someone's prince. That fantasy should be kept in our minds and in the storybooks. They're enjoyable to dream about, but it's important that at a time, we all come to our senses and realize that we are not perfect and our true love won't be either.

Perfection isn't something that can be attained. However, there is a fine line between perfection and happiness, and if you and your partner both work hard to make your love work, you'll reach that amazing, happy medium. If you dedicate your time to your partner and they do the same for you, you will feel like your relationship is just as perfect as it can get. And that's what really matters. What you want. What matters is how you can make both you and the people you love happy. That is the real secret to pure happiness. There will be ups and downs, highs and lows, but when you're able to see the big picture, you have truly found your definition of perfection.