Ryou or Ray?

Ray...Ryou...whoever took the picture from my hands, stared at it in silence.

"So...you are him...aren't you?"

"That was a long time ago." He said, but his demeanor had changed. It was more sullen as he placed the photograph back on the countertop.

He turned from me, not wanting to finish the conversation. "Eat before your food gets cold."

That riled me up, as I took a hold of his hand. "Stop! Stop running..."

I hit a nerve, as he swung me around to face him. He was strong...but he wasn't meaning to hurt me. I felt his grip loosen as he pressed me against the bathroom door.

"I never ran!"

His eyes glinted, the green covering the yellow.

"The fuck you didn't! I waited for you," I gasped, feeling the emotion take over me, "8 years ago, I was in the library day after day waiting for you to come. And one day you just decide to disappear!"

He stared at me for a while, finally letting me go. A laugh parted from his lips. "You don't remember...do you?"

"Remember what?" I questioned, as I watched him lean on the opposite side of the frame.

"The fight...the day you told me to stay away from you."

What? I was taken aback. I don't remember that at all. I don't remember saying anything of the sort to him. I just remember waiting...just waiting on him to...wait! I...I think I know why...

"I don't remember," I started, as he questioned my response, "because over the summer I got in an accident...of the sort. I just...I had a pretty bad concussion then...and a lot of my memories just kind of faded away."

He started to get up from his spot, not meeting my gaze, "Well, it's water under the bridge anyway."

No. It wasn't to him.

I didn't know what else to do, but to stop him from leaving again I hugged him. I dug my head in his chest, wrapping my arms around him.

"I'm sorry that I don't remember, but my hearts missed you. I've thought about you from time to time...and wondered how you were doing."

I felt his heartbeat quicker and took that as a good sign as I looked up into his eyes. "You're the reason I continued drawing. You're the reason I'm here...and the reason I blush so much."

The sea green dug me in, as his face seemed to lighten. "I...I like you, Ray. I think I even liked you back then...and so if I hurt you, I want to-"

His lips were on me, as his hand caressed my cheek. His warmth was so inviting that it took my breath away, literally. I forgot everything that I wanted to say in those very moments.

"No one calls me Ryou anymore...but you can call me that. Ray is the nickname I got after I had killed so many men. But...I like being Ryou to you."

My heart began to beat even faster after he said that. He's making me crazy. "Ok, I'll call you Ryou."

----------------

I sat in my bed eating the breakfast he had prepared. It was REALLY good! I honestly was gobbling it down as I forced him to take bites. He was laying on my lap anyway, so I felt like he could act like a vacuum cleaner.

"So, why isn't your hair red anymore?"

"That was a fad that wore itself out when I got to high school. All of my brothers have black hair naturally."

"Ah," I said with a mouthful of eggs, "well I liked it, you should bring that back."

He laughed at that, tickling me as I tried to hold in my food. "Are you saying I'm not attractive now?"

"No, omfg stop! I'm gunna spit this shit on your face!" I said, trying to maintain my composure.

"Ha," he chuckled, letting me go, "I'll consider it."

That made me smile.

"I can't believe you remembered me!"

"I...kind of followed your artwork."

I looked at him amazed, "What?"

Ray led me to one of his rooms and I didn't know what I was getting myself into. However, when he opened the door and turned on the light, my eyes widened in astonishment. I walked past him, looking at the pieces that I sold here and there to buyers. I never knew who was buying my paintings in high school...but...but it was...

"We went to the same high school...but I didn't realize it at first. There was that big art gallery they placed in the gymnasium and one day I went to check it out. It wasn't until then that I saw a piece of artwork you made...and I only knew it by your signature."

I looked at my painting of a boy on the shore, as he awaited the dark clouds that came from the horizon.

"N&R." I said.

Niko and Ryou. It was the signature I had used since I was a kid. I remember telling Ryou that I would sign my paintings N&R because I wanted to give him credit for my artwork. I was so thankful that he believed in me and till this day, I naturally signed it that way. Because…honestly because I hoped one day, he'd find me…or remember me…and he had.

"It could've been anybody," I heard him say as I touched the painting, "but I waited and waited until I saw your face. And that's when I knew."

"I guess you could say I was your stalker. But it honestly just made me happy that you were still painting because I deeply believe that your artwork is real. It's human nature."

I walked toward my other paintings. He savored my creations...for all this time? My heart was beating fast...my cheeks were burning.

"Why didn't you ever say anything?" I asked, trying not to look him in the eye.

"I thought you still hated me, and I didn't know how you'd react to hearing I was in a gang."

Well, he's right about one part.

"I guess...back when we knew each other. You were being bullied by some boys. I recall you were hurt that day. I remember you told me things weren't good at home."

My eyes widened as I stared at my painting, I had drawn of the two of us. I called it the boy and his ghost. It was a piece of loneliness. A friend that was never there.

"So," he continued, "I beat them."

I looked at him then, as he leaned on the blank back wall and spoke with his head down. "Every last one of them. I suppose I was taking out my own problems on them too and I didn't hear your yells when you asked me to stop."

My eyes widened. He hurt someone again for me...he was doing that even then?

"I kept going until my clothes were bloodied and by that time, when I got up and looked into your eyes, you didn't see me anymore. You just saw a monster."

He scratched the back of his head, "I asked if you were ok, and you screamed. You told me to stay away…that you didn't want to see me anymore."

My heart hurt at his pained laugher.

"Fuck...I was so hurt by that. It traveled with me for so long until I began to believe it. I killed and kept killing, my anger was taken out on every last fucking person on our hitlist until I felt numb."

He looked into my eyes then, but I could see he was sad. His whole body showed that.

"And I just wanted to feel again...I wanted it desperately enough to go to your showing. To see you...be close to you...to just fucking-"

I ran to him, holding him as his tears ran down my neck. He held me close as he let out his frustration and it panged my heart to hear him suffer.

"You're not a monster, Ryou."

I felt his grip on me tighten as I played with his hair, trying to calm him down. "You're far from that. Scary sometimes, yes, but you're sweet and gentle and kind."

I kissed his cheek. "I'm sorry if I said that to you...I was probably just scared. I was scared a lot back then because my parents beat me at home. So, any sight of blood would have made me run...but in my heart I never hated you. I missed you because you were the one person who gave me hope. And that's why my signature never changed, even after all this time."

He looked up at me, as I was super stoked to be the one wiping the tears from his eyes. "Shit, I wish you did say hi to me back then. I would've loved to have caught up with you, but I'm here now and I promise I won't go anywhere, Ryou. I promise I'll stay with you until the end this time."

I drew him in for a kiss, as we held each other amongst my paintings. His embrace told me that he believed me, just as much as I believed him. And I'd do anything to prove to him that he was much more than Ray. He was my Ryou.