Realization 2

I am just like you. I kept on searching and finding answers to my purpose. When I finally realized that my reason for living is right here all along, right here in my heart, in my family, in my daughter, in my neighborhood, in my community, in my nation and people, in my world. We are gifts from God. You and I have a purpose and that is to be love, peace calm, hope, light, courage, health, magic wonder, knowledge, skill, warmth, desire, faith, laughter, joy, confusion, fear, illusion, belief, and other things, or more, etc. I am one body, one soul, one heart, one mind and so are you and everybody else. In our world we are now suffering from the pandemic, we are scared of all types of things and insecurities. We are worried about our health, jobs, our economies and our future. But ever since, God made the world in the palm of his hands out of uncertainty. We are molded in our mothers' wombs without knowing whether the baby will be a boy or a girl. So why worry or be anxious about things beyond today. Let's live for the present and let tomorrow worry for itself. Just like what Steve Jobs said, "live your life like it's your last". Though have an additional phrase to that, "and live it worth yours and other's while". Meaning we need to live a life with value, that even being a janitor is honorable because he/she is doing his / her job well, with a purpose, with dignity and good reason. A job is just intertwined with a description and whatever occupation or title you have in this world, it doesn't matter as long as you put food on the table in an honest to goodness work and secure your family's future. It is noble for the person who has resources and share God's gifts or talents given to him / her so others would benefit from them. We uplift other's lives by letting them believe and trust that there is hope. Becoming that light to guide them towards their purpose is the best help we can give as support system especially when they need it or you the most.

I don't want to sound analytical or weird but wasting your days away by gambling or getting wasted instead of applying for a part time job maybe at your nearby restaurant to help with your family's financial troubles, is better and more reasonable. Or maybe instead of bullying your classmates you can try to get to know them, anyway, differences or uniqueness in people is what makes the world a wonderful place to live in because it can never ever be boring.

Praise and acknowledgment is not at all important though necessary to know and remind us that these heroes or saints do exist. There is no greater gift than having it like winning a noble prize or be acclaimed for your hard work and efforts to save the world. But it isn't really saving the world but yourself. It isn't loving others but yourself and taking care of yourself so as to care and love others like what you do to you and no one else. You realize how simple things such as kissing your daughter to sleep or getting a hug from a friend can mean a lot when you are alone or ill or near death.

Life is not just being alive just because.. but being alive for, in spite of, etc. We live to make new memories and experience good or bad moments, strange or magical mysteries and more...

Living is not just breathing, but to some breathing means they are still here to make things happen and make a change. But to me, getting up every morning is a blessing. Working out and meditating, saying I love you to people I love and doing every little thing for God's glory is the most wonderful gift I can receive and realize today, tomorrow and always. In trials, pains, challenges and defeats or failures, remember just one thing in mind...

LAUGH

Smiling is the best medicine to fight against sadness. Laughter is the best cure for illness and anxiety.

We laugh when we feel happy and heard a joke that cracked us up. We are joyful when we found out our friend is pregnant and or a relative graduated from college, so on. All these are blessings we receive daily and as I have mentioned on my first chapter about Life, living is making our lives worth the while of ourselves and others.

I have worked and earned when I was younger but never thought that my health is more important than drinking heaps of cups of coffee and working on grave yard shifts or eating late with my meals since I was so caught up with my job, it seems more important than even going to take a piss at the loo.

But I was wrong. Taking good care of my body is more valuable that my job, my career or my love life after all. Now after 40 years, I have finally realized that but it isn't too late and I can still correct my mistakes of overworking my ass off and neglecting my responsibility to love my self, first and foremost.

We laugh at comedy films, laugh when our child says a funny joke or feel hilarious when a friend slips and bumps on something out of nowhere. Well that's not really funny though!, Hehe! But having fun with everything we do in life, whether we're just cooking or cleaning the house, we can make it meaningful for we do these out of love for our family, friends or coworkers. Making someone happy and making them laugh is the best thing one can do for a love one who lost her dad, a friend who failed with his examination to be accepted in college or a colleague who didn't get her promotion, so on and so forth.

It is not the end to try again to pass an exam, or move on from past hurt or loss and it is never too late to get the promotion you wanted but working harder and better to accomplish your goal in your work life. It is not too late my friend, as long as we are still breathing and have breathe in our lungs, don't give up!.

I have had a surgery twenty years ago due to colonoscopy since I had polyps inside my colon and couldn't take a bowel (poop!, sorry for the term) then. But after that, everything went fine, I lived a normal life and my asthma controlled. But this past few months, I felt a little pain in my anal part every time I poop!, So I checked it and felt there's a wart or tiny skin a size of a lentil that is protruding near my butt hole and I feel burning sensation there and my gut. I googled everything about polyp, wart, anal and what surgery plus the medication I can take at home to take that skin off or just peel it off in future. Well, still working on that one, but I know it'll be fine and I will survive this.

Now, would I feel sad or worried? Well, to tell you honestly, I don't know how to feel. And I can't cry or show any emotion since I am busy thinking of what I can do to make myself well and take this as a challenge, yet again, after my quarantine. However, my questions were answered now that I know why I felt sick all the time before or when I feel a mix of body temperatures inside my body every day. It is because of this tiny pimple, or whatever you call this in my butt hole. Haha! I know what you're thinking, No, I never had sex with anyone and never had a anal s.. too for I have been celibate for six years now. It was also stated that having warts or polyps may be a result of STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease) if one doesn't use protection when having sexual intercourse. Sorry to burst your bubbles! But I haven't been with a partner and surely don't want to have one now. But, I talk with my special someone online, so does online oral s.. count? Hehe! Kidding! And it is a funny thing to say too that maybe I am just too paranoid and what if the inflammation near my butt hole is simply hemmorhoid or a swelling of some sort!? But of course I will not erase other possibilities, yet, I have faith that God already knew what I will learning out of my experience in isolation and what I will be going through right this very minute. I am grateful for my Endocrine doctor messaged me that maybe it is indeed just a hemorrhoid and can be treated immediately. I said to him, the swelling part popped out and I can feel the skin but I don't know when it'll peel off though. Hmm! Anyway, back to my chapter.

Breathe. Live. Do. Make a change. Make a difference. Save s