Burning Pain

Aliyah let out a quiet, stifled sob. She wrapped her arms around her knees and cried quietly. She really wants to yell and throw things, but she can't because it will only make the matter worse and isn't appropriate.

She slowly rises and walks towards her window, brushing the blue curtains aside. From this vantage point, she could clearly see the situation from below, where black smoke and orange fire danced with the air.

Aliyah bit her lips, feeling another wave of sob ready to come out. Her grip on the jalousie tightens as she looks to the fuel of the fire.

It's her books, her beloved and treasured books. The book she painstakingly saved her money. She remembers how she saved a portion of her monthly allowance so she could buy those. Now, her treasured books turn to her mother's daily leaves burning fuel.

She felt really unfair…they gave her allowance, she saves them then buys what she wants! She also studies well so they won't feel the need to dip into her personal space and daily activities.

She's a really good student with no record in her anecdote plus she's a good cousin and sister as far as she knows! Plus, she's already 22!

Dramatically sliding into her wall with an epic crying face, Aliyah sniffles.

"What's wrong with reading boy's love? Or Gl? What's wrong with yuri and yaoi?!…being gay is okay…"

In the end, she can't do anything. Her only hope is her sister's words, it took quite a time but looking at her burnt books, she can tell that it led nowhere. A series of knocks cut her reverie, Aliyah glanced at her door full of digital art posters.

Gabriel's voice resounded, "Aliyah…it's me…can you open the door? I want to give you something."

She stood up and tried to dry her tears first by waving her hand to create small air. Sniffing, she looks up trying to pull her tears back. Aliyah clears her throat and wipes the tears that manage to escape with her shirt. "Wait a minute," her voice is dry and dull.

She hastily looked for her mirror, the room was 'cleaned' by her mother so she didn't know where her things were anymore.

A minute later she found her hand mirror in the drawer on her nightstand. "Gosh… my eyes are red and puffy…" She spends a little bit of time trying to make herself presentable. Once she's satisfied, she folds her mirror and places it back in the drawer.

"Hey! Open the door, it's not like I'm going to judge you!" Aliyah snorted. She knows Gaby, she'll surely make fun of her after this issue dies down. Sniffing, she walks to open the door when… Aliyah felt the world tilting and her chest tightening. "Comin— argh! Aaagggh…"

She clutches her chest tightly. Feeling the sudden pain in her lungs or ribs or heart wherever it came from! It felt more painful the more she tried to slowly breathe. She didn't panic but slowly calmed down at first, it's a common occurrence for her.

Before, she thought that she was sick or had heart disease. It turns out that it's a common thing that happens to most people. Aliyah also experienced it last time together with the nose bleed. Was it called strain? She can't remember. "Hey, I'm coming in. What's taking you so— wh-what's happening to you?"

She shook her head and held her breath, not moving an inch. Seconds later, the pain began to subside then it was gone. She sighed slowly. "Nothing. Happens all the time. What is it?"

Gabriel skeptically looks at her before pulling her to bed. She stared at Aliyah for a few seconds then sighed, combing her hair. "Sorry…I...I can't do anything…but! I managed to salvage a few books! When I got there mommy's already burning the books…sorry,"

Aliyah shook her head and gave her sister a thin smile before lying in the bed. At least (G) she managed to bring back some of her books. Aliyah glanced at the books her sister laid beside her. It's pitifully smaller than her original collection. Closing her eyes, another streak of tears flowed down.

"Aliyah…"

All her life she always prioritized her parent's, especially her mother's, opinions. She was always called a bright child, a good daughter, a Great sister, and a loving friend. She loves those titles, it was not forced on her or whatever, it's her choice. She always felt that she NEEDS to do this, that, or so on. She felt obligated.

Aliyah's not complaining or anything, she's quite content. Her life was sailing smoothly, although there are a few obstacles like her mother's strictness and religiousness, she was fine.

Well, that was until she turned 15. She fell in love, so bad. That was her first love. It was supposed to be okay, to be alright since she's a teenager booming with hormones and emotional fluctuations. The thing is, she fell in love….with a girl.

She was so scared. Especially when that person starts to pursue her. It was implanted in her mind that what she's doing is a sin, something that is against nature, an abomination.

But eventually, that person managed to open her mind. She introduces her to the world of yaoi/yuri and bl/gl, it helps her to widen her view. That this thing is normal and so. They got together secretly, well secreted to her parents, for 2 years. They broke up due to some reasons.

She thought she was lesbian because most of the time she liked girls, turns out she can also like guys. She found out she was bisexual. She got into a relationship with 2 guys, both are legal.

"Sis…I'm already an adult, why does mom still do this? I don't understand…"

Gabrielle sighed. Even she cannot answer that. Just imagine she, a 26-year-old woman, still lives here. She's aware that their parents are really strict. It's part of their culture, she guesses. "Haa…just leave! I wanna sleep! Go away!"

Aliya stood up and pulled her sister. Pushing Gabrielle out of her room. Aliyah is pretty tired and just wants to sleep, she gets really sleepy whenever she cries.

"Haa… Argh! What's wrong with books? I'm an adult!" Jumping to her bed. She continued to mumble. Cocooning herself, putting a bunch of pillows all over her. Closing her eyes, she slowly drifted to sleep.

'Huk!' Frowning, she pinched her chest feeling a stab of pain. She held her breath and then felt her pain ease up. She sighs and continues her sleep. Dreaming of countless scenarios and romances in her head.

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