TRUE COLOR

Is this what we call Unconditional Love? Unconditional Love. How hard it is.

Every day Hira longed and waited for Billy's arrival at the house, just hoping for that meeting. But when the time comes Mrs. Yulia has the right and control over the man. Little things that used to be meaningless now suddenly bother her.

Like this Saturday. Bibi dried the bed linen. Seeing the bed linen drying on Saturday all of a sudden disturbed her. Hareudang.

'Hareudang hareudang... panas panas panas...'*) Winda's voice singing suddenly. It's funny the little girl sang that 'dangdut' song. Hira laughed to herself.

And Yulia seemed to be deliberately burning Hira's heart. Every day, as long as her husband was home, bibi washed the bed sheets. Huh. Hira felt helpless. Whatever the story was she would always 'lose' and always be the wrong party.

In the past, Hira never cared about the meaning of ownership. She was never attached to anything. Everything she had she only kept in her hands, never in her heart. So if she lost anything she never really lost it. she will soon forget. Born with nothing, and death brings nothing. Why burden yourself with the possession? Not even her soul was hers. One day they will return to Him.

Now she knew that ownership was necessary at times like this. When dealing with the law, the ownership letter will explain it.

But what is the meaning of having if you don't have, isn't it better not to have but you have?

What if she switched places with Yulia's position? Ah, no. Feeling how Billy's love for her she still chose to be Hira.

Otherwise, what is the meaning of loving if you don't have it?

No, this time she did not want to accept this situation, loving without having. No, no.

It's better not to love if you don't have one. If the choice were yours.

Really this is not something to argue about, it is about roles. The director decides what role to play in His scenario in a stage play.

Departing from that contemplation, Hira chose to stay positive. Choose good thoughts and feelings. She did not want to drown and be swept away by negative emotions. That's all she could do, take responsibility for her reaction. Only her response can she control. Whatever the world does will not have any effect if she does not allow it. And she chooses to feel and think well. And it wasn't easy. It was a struggle... but she had decided. Where she should stand...

***

It is undeniable that sometimes jealousy bursts out at certain times like that afternoon. Billy carried Icha into his car. He was followed by his only son and Yulia behind him.

Hira gets the soul of a respectful officer who always wanted to make his family happy. From afar Billy looked at Hira as if to say.

I'M WITH YOU. NO MATTER WHAT ELSE YOU HAVE IN YOUR HEAD.

I'M WITH YOU, AND I LOVE YOU.

That was her IG feed that she saw accidentally at the time.

It felt like Hira didn't want to do anything. Her heart was silent.

She sat with Winda in front of her room playing with the soft, colorful kinetic sand. Putting it slowly into the mold, pressing it in such a way that it filled all the corners of the pyramid castle-shaped playdoh. It was very comfortable to do so, massaging the fine and soft sand as if massaging his troubled heart, very soothing.

In an instant, the two humans sank into their own busy lives. No one spoke, each engrossed in their own imaginations of making castles out of magic sand.

Hira had found the perfect way to vent the emptiness of her soul, a place of escape as well as entertainment for the sadness she was trying not to feel.

Don't know how long the two of them immerse in their activity and how many castles were formed with full appreciation and dismantled by Winda without feeling guilty. Suddenly the echo of Icha's voice was heard from the window in front of Winda's room.

"I have a balloon," She exclaimed

The two humans who were engrossed in their world stopped their game to look for the source of the sound. Icha was standing at the window with a balloon in her hand. The small window was the only place that allowed the residents of the main house to see the 'outside world' in the parking lot of the boarding house.

Winda threw away her toys and approached the window.

'Ah, are you home yet? It's been a while...' Hira thought. She looked at her watch. It wasn't even an hour yet. Going to the mall with a family group for less than an hour? Buy what? Buy balloons? So crowded? Did it not happen? I don't know.

However, it was undeniable that her heart suddenly felt light. The cloudiness that had been hanging on her chest suddenly disappeared She felt someone from behind the window watching, didn't know how long he had been there causing mixed feelings, sadness, shame, and please all at the same time. Hira cleaned the toys quietly and left the place back in her room.

Meeting mas Bilal about to come out with his motorcycle while singing...

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And I see your true colors

Shining through

I see your true color silver

And that's why I love you

So don't be afraid to let them show

Your true colors

true color

They're beautiful

Like a rainbow

Oh oh oh oh oh…

***

*)Hareudang, panas; Hot (weather)