Inner Turmoil

Savon stared at the ceiling listening to the voice in his head talking to him. It was calmer now, seeing that Savon had told it that he was not done with Kayla. He felt something like relief, so difficult was his other half. However he understood it. That it wanted, needed and would not be denied. He just reminded it that time was the only factor nothing else.

'We are much stronger than Astor will ever be. You are just to young yet, haven't had the right stressors to bring them forward.' By them, the voice meant abilities. Savon didn't really want more talents. He was fine with what he could do now.

'You are so very single minded.'

'Yes we are.' It said reminding him, that they were one in the same. Not two different beings, at least for the most part. He wasn't an acolyte that looked human, he was a human that was acolyte.

'Astor will eventually find us again.' Savon said to himself. The rain had slowed, but Kayla was still dosing next to him. The world was slowly turning a light grey. He had slept for a short bit of time. He looked at her, her features relaxed and serene.

'I want to keep her.'

'Humans are not pets.'

'You are my pet.' The voice said, and he felt a smile come across his face. He had some serious mental issues at times.

'Call me that again and see if I let you near the surface. Think I much prefer to be the dominate conscience when playing with Kayla.' This brought a dark grumble to his mind, and he felt the push there but he didn't back down from it. Kayla was the first one that his other half had wanted more than once. Didn't really have a different motive for why. The others had been a quick fix, just toying with them.

'Fine, companion.' The voice said to him almost snidely and he was amused, they both were. Just like they were both annoyed. He knew which part it was from but both sides felt it. He glanced at Kayla, looking at her he felt that human part was hit with a longing.

His other half didn't understand the longing, though it felt it. The feeling confused it made it unsure of what to do. With him it was odd and he had a feeling this was why he was so different from the others before him. His acolyte half wanted to take care of its human half.

Like it knew that it wasn't whole without that part of him. However it could never truly understand human emotions and desires. It just searched through his mind to find the problem and was quiet for a moment.

'You wish for something more? I do not understand.'

'I don't even know what I want.' He said looking at the ceiling. 'You make me nearly immortal. I'm not going to age like others, I'm not going to die naturally.'

'Not unless they take me from you, or your head is removed. But that I will not allow, at the cost of causing damage mentally I will take control.' Savon never really understood why his other half didn't fight more to be in control.

'Because we survive this way. You give me what I need and that is all that is required.' It was silent for a minute. 'However you can give others extended life, or I could. It's all in the blood.' He raised his arm looking at it. His mind going silent for the moment and he let out a tired breath.

"Did you sleep at all?" Came Kayla's voice. It was tired and a bit groggy, he looked at her meeting her blue grey eyes. They were soft looking at the moment. He wanted to reach out and touch her but didn't.

"A little." He was reclined back facing the ceiling.

"You look a bit put out. Something wrong?"

"You ask me that a lot. Do I always look like something is wrong?" She gave a shrug, and he turned his toward her.

"Just asking because it seems that when you aren't looking bored or annoyed something is wrong. Just checking that both parts of you are getting along." He smiled at that and looked at the ceiling for a moment.

"Just fine actually." Savon found it interesting and quite frankly refreshing that she didn't treat him oddly for what he'd told her. That she just kind of accepted what he said. In their world though a split personality problem was the least of their worries.

"Good, wasn't sure if you were prone to fits or not." He turned his head and looked at her. She held a smile.

"Depends on the day. If I want others around me or not. It's a convenient excuse."

"Recluse." She looked at his profile as he lay there. He had a great body in her opinion. Toned and muscled no fat on him. She wouldn't mind running her hands over his stomach and chest. Not to mention her mouth. Wow, how quickly her thoughts shifted around him, but she wasn't going to fight it. She was a grown woman, with needs of her own. She liked how he fulfilled them earlier.

"Never really felt social, tended to be shunned from that area for the most part." She didn't really get why. His attitude wasn't all that different from others she knew. Though being what he was, and when she first met him, he just put off this vibe. Now with the things that she saw, and what she knew, she had completely different feelings toward him.

"It doesn't bother you to be alone like that?" She asked moving slightly so that she leaned up on her arm and braced herself up. He looked at her, his one arm across his stomach and the other up by his head.

"Should it?" He asked rather seriously.

"Whether we want to or not people are social creatures. Eventually you want someone there to talk to. It's nice to know you aren't alone."

"True, however you don't seem all that close to anyone."

"There were people that I was close too, most of them are dead. After a while it gets harder to really have those close friends. Still glad I had them though." He just seemed to detach himself from others when around them she noticed. Maybe it was a defense mechanism, though she liked that he talked to her.

"Easy for you, people don't shrink away from you because they think that you have a possession problem. Like something nasty that is stuck in you and it's only a matter of time before you snap."

He wasn't looking at her when he said this. He looked at the windshield seeming to see something that she couldn't. The fact that he wasn't looking at her, and that his voice changed slightly said that he was bothered by it.

"It's easier to shun someone than accept them and be wrong." His head turned again his eyes meeting hers.

"What makes you accept someone Kayla? In the end don't you just take that step and hope like hell you weren't wrong? You can't ever know, not truly, what a person thinks, how they feel."

"Has to be easier to pick it out being able to sense the truth."

"That's subjective." He said. "If someone truly believes it, or is just that good at faking their belief you can be tricked. Ask a person if god is real. Some will say yes and you know they speak the truth, but so do the ones that say no. They truly believe what they say, so therefore the statement is true either way."

"You sound cynical." She said, he made a kind of sound like humorless laughter.

"Isn't everyone now a days? Kind of hard not to be."

"So you don't think that anyone is truly capable of meaning the things that they say. Just what they believe in the moment?" He gave a shrug and moved to sit up, they still had a ways to go. He stopped however when her hand pressed to his chest. He just looked at it for a second, paused where he had leaned up just a bit.

"That's not really fair of you to think about others." He met her gaze solidly.

"Just what would it matter what I think others are capable of? My opinion isn't really valued by others." He felt a bit angered that she questioned him. Like he was wrong and couldn't form his own ideas and thoughts.

"It matters to me. People's opinions might change but not how they feel not if it was real. Do you think that I am like that? Just saying whatever because in the moment it was right and I just go back to whatever once its done?"

He was quiet, what did she really care what he thought or what his opinion of her was? He'd never been really asked his opinion of another. He didn't know really what to say. He figured that he didn't really see her as being callous or shallow. She didn't say things she didn't mean, or took seriously because to her it was a waste.

"No." He said honestly. "I don't talk to people, I talk to you. That says something. Like you said easier to shun than accept and be wrong."

Kayla could see that he was very used to rejection. To others pushing him aside just like other people. Most groups only staying with themselves and trusting no one. He had grown into just relying on himself and not letting others close because it was easier. Why bother putting in the time and effort only to know it was worth nothing at the end.

She reached out and touched the side of his face because she felt that she should, he didn't move just looked at her.

"I accept you because I don't believe that I'm wrong."

"You could be." He said watching her, she leaned forward close to him.

"I'm not." She said confidently, pressing her mouth to his. She kissed him this time, slow. For a second it was like he didn't know how to respond and part of her was touched when he did kiss her back. It meant something that she didn't think he'd ever let anyone have before. His hand came to her hair and he deepened the kiss for a second but then pulled away from her. Uncharacteristic for him, she had a feeling it had more to do with the kind of response that he gave her than anything else.