Edmund

She felt the need to stay strong just for this day but has no spirit left to go on and just wanted to get this funeral services done and over with. So she won't feel the pain and her loss all over again. She love Edmund yet deep in her heart she knows she hasn't forgotten about Jodie. Edmund knew about Jodie, yet he accepted her whole heartedly since he said that his love will compensate for the times Jodie hurt me of her death.

He did, Edmund did made my life better, less pain and loss, and I almost forgot about Jodie, her past love, her longing for her beloved. But then Gin came along and that's a different story all together. For now it's all about Edmund. She felt guilty and wanted to apologize for her mistakes and was willing to marry him.

To start a new and happy life with him. But then this happened, and Alexa felt this second heart break is the worst pain she could ever feel since Jodie's accident. Alexa didn't know that a third challenge will come to her life in Gin's identity and this would make her world crazy but will destiny interfere. Will she truly find the one true love that she's looking for? Let's see! Read along with me please!!!...

Gin is thinking, though he didn't know how Alexa really felt about him before when he was still Jodie. He felt that something is really wrong with Alex. Now if given the chance, he will ask Alex if she loved Jodie and how she felt when she lost her, even if they were apart for several years. Gind stands up to check on Alex. She was hugging Edmund's family, friends and dear relatives. Edmund's family weren't as big as Alexa's. Gin stepped in to talk with Alex when Mr. Morales, Edmund's dad handed her something which made Alexa's brows twitched.

She was wondering what could this envelop be. Thinking it was just a small thing Edmund might have given her, since she didn't have the strength to even eat at the moment, Alex decided to check it out when she gets back to Paris, at the Ritz. She wasn't able to rest or sleep in the plane. Far more when she stayed at a hotel near the funeral home Edmund's body was cremated. After the blessings of a priest in the columbarium, where Edmund's urn is laid to rest, Alexa wanted to go back to her hotel at once to rest.

Her mom, dad and sister Shane, wanted her to come home for dinner. But she insisted to visit them the next day, so she can sleep a bit to recharge from the three days she has spent with Gin who took care of the funeral services, the priest and all. With Gin, he made it easier for her to accept Edmund's passing and then was able to manage everything with Gin's support and untiring patience with her. Gin wanted to accompany her at the hotel, even if she insisted that she'll be fine. Alexa, however, is far from fine. She feels unsure of everything. Lost and dumbfounded. Her thoughts on Jodie's accident and her sad experiences losing her came back as a nightmare.

And now it's happening again. As if the past that she's trying to forget and tried her best to loose, kept on haunting her. As if her losses were running after her even if she's wide awake or conscious.

Even though she didn't know Gin is Jodie, Gin is trying to figure Alex out, he's trying to read her mind now. He knew her ever since they were little and it's not difficult to know how Alex thinks and feels in situations or emotional stresses like this. He knew Alex is in turmoil inside and she being silent tells it all. Here, Alex, Gin and the rest of the family, friends, didn't know someone from the far end of the church, a woman, in black, her face covered with a scarf and glasses, is watching their every move, especially Alexa.

Helena, was looking intently at Alexa while uttering, "I should've been Edmund's only woman, the woman in his life, maybe he is still alive now? Because of you, he gave me up and now he is gone! It's all your fault Alexandra. He is mine and mine alone! I will let you live now, just for now! We will meet one way or another, some day and I will have my revenge! The woman added in anger, hate and full of jealousy.

Inside the Columbarium. The funeral service was very extravagant. Edmund's urn was placed in private compartments below the church. The columbarium is made out of glass, marbles and gold. A glamorous way to place your love ones in but how ironic why we give such respect when we could've given them this type of treatment when they are still alive.

Hmm! Others might have but majority of us sometimes miss the importance of making our loves happy while they are still here and alive. Because at least they would appreciate and experience it and our efforts will not go in vain rather than gone and couldn't feel the love we give them. So that is why we must live our lives at the present moment and give joy to our family and love ones every day so we will not regret missing the times we should've spent with them after they've gone to rest.

Hey Alex, are you okay? Gin asked her with sincerity.

Yes, I am fine and I am done crying, Alex said with conviction. Now she talks, I thought you cut your tongue or something, Gin added smiling at Alex. Alex held a small grin as her response and now she feels better. Gin felt better for when Alex says she feels okay, it is true that she is more than okay. My girl is so strong, I love her so much! Gin smiling with his own thoughts of Alex.

My parents came to Manila from Syria. Since war started there, my parents believed then that it is safer to live here than in any other countries. Discriminations in race, religion and etc. is not that rampant compared to the U.S. or in other parts of Asia. People here are friendly and happy to have us foreigners to live with them. They are a very religious people too. They respect us and our Muslim counterparts, Filipinos are truly devoted to their religion, faith and values. The families here are close knit, lovely and sweet.

They help each other and others to the best of our abilities. However, there are fathers or mothers who work abroad for their families to have monies and to get better opportunities and income overseas. Overseas Filipino Workers (OFW) sometimes work as domestic helpers or care givers even though they graduated in college or working professionally here in the Philippines.

They do this just to receive more reasonable or high salary to support their children studying in college or love ones who are financially down or jobless due to lack of education because they are poor or because competition is high especially now that companies her or abroad asks for certificates to prove one's education and if he is qualified in a certain occupation all together. I applaud these men and women for they inspire me to be as good as they are, non-professionals or with businesses abroad and in the world.

As a Muslim, they accepted me as who I am, Jodie or Gin. For I am a human being, not just a Syrian, Muslim or foreigner. Even if I knew Alex since we were little kids, like eight years old. Growing and living here made me who I am now, like what they call a Fil-Am, or Filipino American, I am a Fil-Rian, or Filipino Syrian. Ha! Ha!. I am a full blooded Syrian, and wow! It's been years since the war broke out in Syria and is still destroying my countrymen and our mother land. It's so sad, but what can we do?

I have watched how Syria, America, Philippines and the world change, due to climate change school activism with Greta Thunberg, green peace protests to fight for the defenders on climate issues, gender-equaiity with the approval of gay and lesbian marriages in the states and worldwide. LGBT communities emerging, strong oppositions on throwing trash on oceans, countries being waged with war by the U.S. because of oil, abortion being prohibited by certain states in the U.S. and some countries surrounding the state, and racism which various anti-racist groups are now asking for equality and breaking down the walls of indifference to be practiced and developed all over the world. Hmm! So much for world peace and racism. I have bigger issues facing me now with my whole identity hidden from Alex.

And I don't know how I can go about it to her now!!! I wonder how I can tell Alex who I truly am and how I feel about her? Gin seriously thought. I can escort her while talking with the visitors. Do you want me to get you coffee Alexa? I asked. No thank you, Gin, I'll go and get it my self, you want some? Alex said with a blank reaction. Okay, I'll join you then, lead the way! Gin insisted while supporting Alex by the elbow, since she said she feels very tired since hasn't slept that much for three days.