Broken

Michael 1985

"Ray! No!" Angie screams, grabbing my father by the shoulders. "Please! He's your son!"

I pick myself off the ground. The rain stings my bruised and cut skin. I was lucky to put pants on before my dad threw me out of the packhouse. The rest of my clothes were in my room, and I doubt he'd let me get them.

I've never seen my dad so angry. The power of that rage radiates off his body as he stalks toward me. He'd shifted to human but hadn't put clothes on, and I know he's planning to transform again if I try to fight.

"Dad, please, stop!" Matt grabs his other arm and tries to stop our father from attacking me again. "This is Mike! It's Michael!"

I don't think I am anymore, not to my father. In his eyes, I'm a traitor.

Pointing a finger to the road, he snarls at me, fangs still barred, and I realize I'm not looking at my dad. He is my alpha. So, no, he doesn't see his son.

"As of this moment, you, Michael Blake Branker, are cast out of the Bloeddiamant pack. As long as I am alpha, you are not welcome in our territory, and if you trespass, all in this pack will kill you on sight!"

The moment he screams that last word. I felt the connection to the pack break, and it was nearly enough to destroy me.

Everything was gone.

I had nothing. It was all stripped away. My family, friends, and my community. The bonds I'd known my whole life were silent in my head. 

"No!" Angie screams, collapsing to the ground in loud, broken sobs. She isn't the only one, I hear the cries inside, and the wolves standing in the rain with us all howl mournfully.

Covering my face with my hands, I don't stop the tears that come. It doesn't seem like a warrior to cry in front of everyone, but I feel like a dead man who's able to move.

"No, daddy, no!" Gracie runs outside, the teddy bear I'd given her when she was born held tightly in her arms. "Mike, Mike, don't leave!"

Before anyone can stop her, my baby sister latches onto me, holding me tightly. I hug her like my life depends on it.

"Grace, let go of the rogue, now!" My father demands, but she doesn't listen.

"Mike, I can't feel you anymore," Gracie sobs into my ear. "Why can't I feel you anymore?"

How do I explain that I'm no longer part of the pack? She's only six. She doesn't understand. All she knows is our dad is angry with me, and he just kicked me out.

"I love you," I whisper to her. "No matter what happens, remember that, okay?"

"I love you," She cries and squeezes me more. "Please don't leave."

"I have to, Gracie. I'm so sorry," Crouching low to the ground. I let her go. "You can't be near me."

It kills me to say that to my little sister, but it'll be worse if she's close to me.

Matt rushes over, and I hand our sister to him. 

"I'm coming with you," He declares angrily, but I shake my head at him.

"No. You can't do that," I swallow back the ache in my throat. "You're going to lead this pack. You'll be the alpha soon."

"No," Matt shakes his head, glaring at our father. "How could you do this?"

My father shows me nothing. He stands there glaring at me. His alpha aura feels like knives attacking me from the inside. 

I'm a rogue now. I am the enemy.

"Alpha, you can't send him out in this storm," Doug tries to reason with my father. "Please, let him stay the night at least. Let him take supplies."

"He takes nothing," My dad spits on the ground. "He is entitled to nothing!"

"Alpha, he's a boy," Douglas cries out. I don't know how he's defying my father, but he's managing to stand up to him. "He's just a boy."

My father doesn't budge, gray eyes showing me no compassion or mercy. I am dead to him, a ghost of the son he no longer had.

Would he bury me? Have some fucked up funeral to burn my things, tear out any pictures of me there were inside?

The thought sinks another blade into my heart.

The pain I feel is unbearable. My body feels weak, and Luthando feels like he's lost his mind. Our pack rejected us. We were rogues.

Homeless, packless, unwanted, and unloved.

Worthless.

What did I do now? I had pondered the possibility of my father throwing me out, but I hadn't believed he'd go through with it. I had no money, clothes, or car. It all belonged to the pack.

"Get this rogue out of here or kill him," My father orders and several of the warriors stare at him in horror. 

Was what I'd done worth my life?

"No," Angie gets up and runs to me, soaked to the bone. "Michael, my pup."

She holds me tightly, and I cry into her shirt. The woman who'd been my mother since I was eight years old. Who'd held me while I sobbed when my mom died. She'd cooked my dinners, gone clothes shopping for school, and cut my hair how I liked it even if she thought it looked dumb, the woman who'd accepted my choices without judgment or shame.

I feel an arm grab me on the shoulder, and I turn to see Douglas behind me. I didn't even sense him.

"Come on, son," He mutters, and I hear the pain in his voice. "Let's go."

"No," Gracie screams, reaching out for me, but two of my father's warriors grab her and Matt, pulling them back towards the packhouse.

My father storms over to his mate and pries her off me.

"Let me go!" she demands, but he drags her to the door.

If I stay any longer, they won't have a choice. Douglas knows it and to avoid anyone else having to kill the future alpha. He'll do it himself, and I know I'm not skilled enough to beat him.

"Father!" I yell, walking backward.

Raymond stops, but he doesn't turn around.

"I love you, dad," I scream at the top of my lungs. So he can hear me above the storm and his pride. "I know you think I'm a traitor, but I love you and this pack. That will never change!"

"Listen to your son!" Angie begs.

"I forgive you," I scream. "Because I know you're thinking like an alpha. I'm sorry that I wasn't the perfect son. I hope someday you'll forgive me."

Now that I've said what I needed to say, I turn around and walk past Douglas, knowing where the territory line is. I don't need help to get there.

Everyone watches me go, I can feel their eyes on me, and I silently say goodbye to each of them.

Luthando is so distraught I can't shift.

It wouldn't have been hard to tell my father I hated him, that he was wrong and that he'd live to regret his choice, but I didn't feel that way.

It didn't make the pain any less.

Douglas and three other wolves follow me the whole way to the edge of the territory, no one speaking to me until we get to the swamp. 

Elena was coming, she'd be here soon, and I knew they needed to get back to finish preparing for it.

"Mike," Douglas stops me when I cross the tree marker that had the mark of the pack. "You can't go like this."

"I can't stay," I turned to face him. "I'm not welcome."

"I can drive you somewhere." He offers. "Your father didn't say we couldn't offer you help."

"He said I was entitled to nothing," I repeat the harsh words.

"But he didn't say we couldn't help you," He insists. "Your father loves you, Mike. His pride is blinding him. Some day he'll see that."

"It doesn't matter," I lied. My father's pride was like a mountain, unyielding and dangerous to climb.

A crackling of thunder booms in the distance, and I take it as a sign I'm out of time.

"Take care of my brother and sister," I request from the beta. "Matt will be an incredible alpha someday."

"Michael," Douglas breathes. "Where will you go?"

I didn't have an answer to that question.

"Goodbye, beta Douglas," I managed hoarsely. "I won't bother your pack again."