In the cold night

Bianca 1979

"Come on," My father lifts me in his arms, and we keep running down the dark street. "Stay quiet, love."

Burying my head in his chest, I try not to be afraid. My mother told me that when she woke me up and threw clothes on me. That, I needed to be brave and do everything they said.

It wasn't the first time we'd moved in the middle of the night. As far back as I can remember, I know we've done this, but I'm not sure why.

I didn't understand why we had to do this all the time. I didn't go to a school like the other children, my phuro and daj taught me at home, and we always had money, even when phuro didn't have a job.

My phuro enters an alley and pushes my daj behind him, peering the way we'd come.

Who was chasing us? Were they monsters? I have a faded memory of monsters attacking us when I was little. They had dark red eyes with glowing purple streaks, fangs, and claws, and when they spoke, the ground shook.

My parents told me it was a nightmare, but I know it wasn't. The scar on my hand tells me it was true, and I have the same dream a lot, especially when the moon is dark in the sky.

"Alright," My phuro whispers, turning to my daj. "I think we lost them. We need to make it to the car."

"What if Lazlo isn't there?" Daj whispers frantically. "How can you be sure he'll come?"

"Lazlo will be there," Phuro sets his jaw. "I know he will. He's never failed us before."

I know that name. Lazlo was my phuro's cousin, but I never saw him. We didn't see anyone from the tribe. We weren't allowed to live with them. Daj said it wasn't safe and it's better we stayed far away from each other.

I don't remember anyone, only old photos daj showed me with stories of who each person was, and Lazlo was in many of them with my father.

Taking my mother's arm, my father runs down the street again. Constantly looking behind him.

We make it three blocks when the sound of an engine makes me look up to see a black car sitting at the corner of the street.

A man gets out of the driver's side and hurries to us. He's tall with dark curly hair and eyes like my phuro's. 

"I was afraid I was too late," He breathes, wrapping my mother in a hug. "Gods, it's good to see all of you."

"thank you for coming," My daj sobs. "I know how dangerous this is for you."

"Don't worry about that," Lazlo shakes his head, his curls shaking with him. "We should leave before we're spotted."

My mother climbs into the back seat, and my father places me in her arms before shutting the door. He gets in the front passenger, and Lazlo starts driving with the lights off.

The inside of the car was warmer than the chilly night air, but I was still shivering. 

The streets seem deserted, and Lazlo goes faster than I think you're allowed to go.

"I got everything," Lazlo explains after we've been going for a while. "Mirko will be waiting for them in New York, and he found an apartment and work."

"Good," My father breathed. "That's good."

"Phuro?" I ask softly. "Where are we going?"

Turning to face me, a sad, guilty look in his brown eyes, phuro reaches back and takes my hand.

He doesn't give me an answer, and I don't know why. My father always talked to me like I was a grown-up, so why change that now?

Lazlo keeps looking in the mirror, his eyes showing his doubts and worry, but he says nothing. No one does for the rest of the drive.

Lazlo drives us to the harbor. I see the enormous boats waiting there in the cold night, dark and ominous.

"Come on, Churi," My daj whispers, exiting the car and wrapping her coat around me to keep me warm. 

"Quickly," Lazlo pulls two large bags from his trunk and leads us down the dock.

"We're almost there," My father takes my other hand and we race to follow Lazlo. 

A man is smoking a cigarette in front of one of the large ships. He sees us coming, throwing the stick to the ground, and steps on it.

"I was worried," he says in a low voice. "You're late."

"It took longer than I'd thought," Lazlo breathes. "Baron, this is my cousin, Kashi, his mate, Estherela, and their daughter, Bianca."

The man bows to my father, and I watch his eyes change to an amber color. 

"It is an honor," He whispers. 

A witch. Only their kind have eyes like that, and I feel the gentle flow of magic and the ocean coming off him.

"Thank you for helping us," My phuro takes his offered hand. "I am forever in your debt."

"Kashi, we're running out of time," Lazlo warns. "Baron, can you help me with these?"

"Yes, of course," Baron takes one of the large bags, leaving the three of us where the plank begins.

"Bianca," My father crouches in front of me. "This will be an adventure, so I need you to be brave, cunning, and resourceful. Can you do that, Shoshni?"

"Yes, phuro." I nod my head. 

An adventure was what my father called things that I would be afraid to do. Like when we slept in the woods for an entire month under a plastic tarp. Or when we took the small plane in Germany, and it kept shaking in the air. 

Satisfied with my reply, he nods and takes my mother and me up the plank onto the top deck of the ship. Looking over the edge, I could imagine I was in a tall building. The smell of the ocean was potent, and I thought I smelled something like spices.

"In here," Baron shows us an empty cabin with a large bed against the wall. "It's small, but hopefully, you'll be comfortable."

It was bigger than the room we had stayed in. The bed was big enough for the three of us to sleep in without me needing to sleep on the sofa.

Baron walks out of the room, and my mother pulls several pieces of clothes out of the bags.

"Bianca, I need you to change into these," she orders softly. "Here, slide these on."

She was handing me jeans, a long sweater, and a pair of boots that looked warmer than my shoes.

I change quickly, and so do my parents. I've never seen my mother in pants before. She looks so different. Still elegant and beautiful, but more like a modern woman than a fairytale.

My parents share a mournful look, and my father pulls daj into his arms. The sound of her sobs stops me from tying my boots. I stare at them in silent confusion.

What was happening?

I was eight, not stupid, and they'd taught me to use my head. It's clear that my father wasn't coming with us. But then, where was he going? Why was he leaving us?

"I love you," Phuro whispers into her hair. "I will always love you. It won't be forever, I swear."

My mother clings to him, her body shaking as she cries, and my throat starts to hurt.

"Daddy?" I walk over to him, using English instead of Romani to get his attention. "What's happening?"

Getting on his knees, he cups my face and stares at me as if it's the last time he'll ever see me again. 

"You and mama are going to America," He explains slowly. "This ship is going to take you there. To a new life."

"Why aren't you coming with us?" I demand, tears falling on his hands.

"My clever girl," He smiles sadly and wipes the droplets away. "I can't, not yet."

"But why?" I sob, grabbing onto his hands. "Why are you sending us away?"

"It's not safe anymore, Bianca," He sets his jaw and gives me a serious look. "Bad people are coming for us, so I need to send you where they can't touch you."

"But what about you?"

"If I go with you, they will find us right away," He insists. "I have to find a different way there. That's all."

"How long will you be gone?" I refuse to let him go, and my mother covers her mouth to stop herself from crying harder.

"I don't know, Shoshni," He admits. "But we will be together again, I promise."

"No," I shake my head. My voice sounded like a siren. "Don't leave us."

"I'm so sorry, my love," My father's eyes water, but he doesn't let himself cry. "This is all I can do for you right now."

What did that mean?

"Kashi, we have to go," Lazlo runs into the room. "They're getting ready to leave."

"No," I repeat, wrapping my arms around my phuro, hoping I'm strong enough to hold onto him.

Picking me up and pulling my mother into the hug, standing there for what felt like hours but only could've been a few seconds.

My daj pulls me off him, and my father kisses us both before stepping out of my reach.

"I love you both," He whispers, and before he loses his nerve, he runs out of the cabin.

Lazlo doesn't move, pulling something out of his jacket.

"My father wanted you to have this," He hands my mother a thick envelope. "May the gods and Sarah keep you safe."

With that, he follows my father out and closes the door.

Sitting on the bed in my mother's arms, the only thing we can both do is cry.