NEW FEELING

I was already satisfied with the fact that no man will truly love me atleast no man would love me the way Kelvin did I had already given up on love and removed my mind from the thought of ever falling in love with any man I believed every man just wanted me for sex and I was okay with that as long as I got my money. One day my friend Olivia was having a bad day,she was having a fight with her boyfriend so we went to the mall together where she was to meet her boyfriend they were talking and I just sat quietly pressing my phone. A young handsome guy walked to me, he didn't beat around the bush he just asked if I would give him my number he told me his name was Victor I told him I was ella,alrea already in my mind another guy that wanted sex but atleast he was better looking than the men I have been having sex with for money so I gave him my number and he left with his friend another good looking man I wouldn't mind if the two of them wanted me for sex by turn. My friend was done with her boyfriend,now ex because they broke up more reason I wasn't even looking to fall in love with anyone. That day I went home expected the victor to call me but he didn't,weeks later a call came in my phone and it was Victor for some weird reason I was excited he called he invited me to his house and I got my self ready in a sexy attire after all it was sex he was calling me for. When I got to his house I looked around his house it was comfortable for a young guy his age. Not too big and not small too I sat in his living room while he was in the kitchen what he was doing there I didn't know I was waiting for h to tell me to come in let's have sex but surprisingly he came out with drinks and snacks he made himself. He served me, he engaged me in a conversation started asking me about myself to me it felt strange but I answered anyway before you know it I was deep in conversation with him,we talked and laughed that I didn't realize it was so late already I couldn't go so I had to sleep in his house he gave me his cloth to change into I had my bath and waited for him to still make move to have sex with me but he didn't. I slept comfortably in his room while he slept in the living room the next day I had my bath and he saw my off. I went home that day feeling all confused. I haven't felt like that in a very long time, I didn't understand the feeling no one has treated me that good since Kelvin left all they want to do is see me get undressed,have their way with me and pay me then leave. But this guy who I wouldn't even waste time to get undressed for, did not only just make me food he listened to me and made me laugh. When I got home he called to know how I was doing then he asked me to take care. After that he didn't bother calling me to come again, he chats me up once in awhile and I was desperately waiting for him to ask me to come over again but he didn't. On my own I called him and told him I was coming over, I came around as usual he was nice to me and didn't treat me any different again he didn't ask me for sex but this time I offered him sex. We had sex and I left,I started calling him wanting to know how he was doing and he cared about me too he advised me to start up a business so I will always have something for myself I told him my full story,ab about my son and he never judged me. He even gave me money to assist me in my business every time I would visit he wouldn't ask me but I would want to help him clean up and cook I was in love with him and I wanted him to love me back I didn't know I was acting desperate all my friends had either a boyfriend or a husband, My sister had a stable boyfriend the other was married so I wanted same for myself unknowingly I started pushing myself on him but he clearly told me he didn't want a relationship that we could be friends with benefits so I accepted. I would go to his house cook,clean and have sex with him. We would gist he would listen to me and advise on life matters without bias before me he would answer other girls calls and it usually tore my heart. His family always came around and they knew me his mom and brothers and they were always so nice to me so I felt it was a sign that they have accepted me. Unknowingly I was acting crazy and desperate because I wanted love from him when clearly he told me he didn't want a relationship. I would fight about him talking to other girls then apologize that I didn't mean it like that,I told him I was okay with us being friends with benefits but my heart was tearing apart. Just a little kindness he showed me I already felt he showed me the world how did I get here? I thought I was comfortable with men having sex with me for money now I started feeling like I wanted more. I tried hard to make victor look at only me but instead it made us fight, it only made him want to stay far from me that he thought I was okay with us being friends with benefits because I wanted him I will call and apologize that I was only being dramatic that I was okay with us being just friends that besides I didn't have time to fall in love with anybody. Then we went on again,stay staying around him he helped me develop myself I tried to stay focus in school and successfully I finished and finally gained my certificate my business was moving well too in difficult times he came through, his family were nice to me I felt like they were family too because of him I learnt to stop saying yes to men for sex. I wanted him to see me as a changed person and I wasn't going to act desperate again I was ready to keep acting as just his friends.