BROKEN TOY

The soft pattering rain in the roof distracted Anna for a bit . Dylan's loud snoring was irritating her and just a minute of not hearing her would calm her head .

The show she was watching was still running but she was no longer listening . Her mind was elsewhere .

The more that she thought about her life the more she realized she was in purgatory . She didn't even know what she wanted anymore .

It wasn't the end in her life that convinced her . She wants trying to be with any of them . They just made her life more complicated .

What was she doing in the house of another man when she was already married ?

Her life was just a shit show and she made it worse every single day by the mistakes she made .

She cringed remembering what she had done earlier in the night . Was she really that desperate that she wanted Dylan to touch her even when he had told her times and times again he was not going to ?

She needed help .

Was she that lonely that no matter how small attention Dylan gave her she thought he wanted her ?

She couldn't stop.the years that ran down her cheeks . She didn't know much about herself but yet again she was turning her life to be a complete mess for a man .

A man she didn't even know if he wanted her the same way she did .

It wasn't that hard to know if a man really wanted you . If he wanted you the question of if he wanted you would never cross your mind but Anna was oblivious of that .

She didn't even know if she could leave Vincenzo . She was too young and too dumb . One thing she knew she was ,was in love with Vincenzo .

She was madly and utterly in love with him . No matter what she did to try and forget him did not even work.

Her thought drifted back to him even when she was having fun . The stinging pain she felt in her chest when she realized that he would never love jer the way that she loved him. She still stayed because she didn't want anyone else .

He was it for her

Did she really love him that much ?

Was she ready to live a life full of sadness only if it meant he was in it .She loved him more than she loved herself that she was ready to be sad but have a life with him.

Her soft cries were no longer soft and she turned to see if Dylan was seeing her but he wasn't . She didn't want him to see her like that .

She needed to sleep but incase of doing that she was up thinking about someone who did iit even want her at all .

She want weak but love made her weak . That was what happened when you tell in love .

She didn't know where Vincenzo was and she was wondering if she even crossed his mind . Did he ever think of her at all and wonder what she was doing .

She didn't know of she was in denial or was just hanging on to the little hope of a happy life with him.

She didn't have a life outside of Vincenzo .

She stood up from.the couch and made her way to the porch where the rain was now heavy and she just stood there letting it wash over her .

She needed to feel something else apart from pain . Only that this time round when she stood in the rain she didn't think of her childhood all she could think about was Vincenzo playing with his kid .

She wants the mother though and all she did was just stand there watching them . If only she could have a child with him maybe that would change everything .

He looked so happy in her imagination . She could never make him that happy .

Did she even want to a mother ?

It was not a thought that crossed her mind . She had never even loved kids while she was growing up .

She knew she could make a terrible mother . Why would she want to make her child go through that ?

She was the most broken person she knew . She couldn't even put herself first there was no way she could care for a child .

She didn't know who she was there was no way she could care for a child . The only thing she knew about herself was the fact that she loved Vincenzo.

That wasn't enough to make someone want to have a child with you . What was she been thinking about?

She couldn't be that desperate to be loved by him could she ?

The clothes she was wearing she was wearing were drenched,she needed to get a hold of herself .

She didn't hear the door opening as Dylan made her way to where she was .

He didn't know how he was going to tell her . As he watched her he realized how much of a mess she was .

He wanted to fix her . He wanted to make her fall in love with herself . He wanted her to realize how good she was and not to only think of the worst sides of herself .

How was it possible for someone to love someone more than they loved themselves. She was a broken toy that did not want to be fixed .

She was fine being broken . The only person she believed could fix her was Vincenzo .

It felt like they were oceans apart . They were married but there was so much space between them.

She couldn't be saved ,she didn't want to be saved .

"Anna",Dylan said as he tapped her and as Anna turned around the look on his face scared her .

He looked like a ghost his face was washed of all colour and she was scared to ask what was wrong.

"What happened ?",she asked him and hoped nothing had happened to Vincenzo .

"It's Vincenzo ,he was involved in an accident ",Dyalna said and he watched the colour drain from her face .

She tried opening her mouth to say something but nothing came out . She just stood there in the rain eyes puffy as she tried to even her breathe .