She did not know if the pain would ever pass. She knew that no matter what happened within a couple of years he would forget about her.
She would just be another person that he had met. Someone who had been there for a short while but never stayed.
It was different for her. He was always going to be in his life. She was always going to remember him. She could not help feeling a lump in her throat every time she saw someone getting affection from someone in public.
She always felt like breaking down every time she saw someone laughing while holding hands. The look of adoration and love their partners would give them.
It made her sick knowing she had never experienced that. She had wondered why they got that and she didn't.
Was it because they were broken?
The thought that Vincenzo was going to be in her mind for the rest of her life was killing her. Because no matter what she did she was not sure she would ever stop loving him.
She could feel her heart rising and she felt sick at that moment. It was like she was choking but she didn't know what was choking her.
He would never think of her the way that she thought of him though.
She was never sure she was ever going to experience pure love. That life where your partner knew everything about you.
Someone who he could stare at and just smile. That was the opposite of what happened when she stared at Vincenzo.
When she stared at him she was mad. Mad that she was not the only one.
She was crazy in love with him and there was nothing she could do. She didn't know what was worse. Knowing she wasn't the only one or trying to stop loving him.
His heart was unattainable. Did he even have one?
She wondered if he had ever loved spending before her. Had someone hurt him and he just couldn't love someone else.
He had made her realize her worst fear. Her worst fear was not being good enough for someone.
She was good enough Sue just couldn't see that. She was everything any man could ever ask for. She was amazing, charming, beautiful, and loved wholly.
He was a stupid man for not seeing that. He was stupid for not living her right. He was stupid for not making her feel like she was beautiful.
He had made her think that maybe she lived too much. There was nothing that was called loving someone too much though.
No amount of love was enough. When you loved someone you needed to pour it into them
You needed to tell them how much you loved them. You needed to tell them how amazing they were and that was all she did.
She loved the wrong person though. She knew that bug had decided to ignore all the signs and still poured all her love into him.
All she got back was heartbreak.
She felt so much desire for him but that was but how he felt about him. When he held her she felt like it was the best thing that had ever happened to her.
She was so in love with him that she could not comprehend anything else.
Her world revolved around him but to him, she was just another person in his life. Someone he didn't think was that important.
Someone that could be easily replaced and that realization killed her.
She could hear the sound of things being broken and did not bother to go check what he was doing. She did not want to see him.
If she saw him all she was going to do was cry. Cry and wonder what she had done to deserve to be treated the way she was being treated or had been treated.
She told herself that it was going to be alright but she did not believe herself. She knew how it was going to be when she finally left.
She knew it was going to hurt. She could not understand why life could hurt like that. She wondered if things would have been different if he had never shown up in her life
Maybe she would have been happier. Love hurt so much that all she wanted was to stop loving him.
The pain was too much and she did not know if she could handle more pain like that.
It felt like her heart was being ripped apart and that was not even the worst part. She knew he was not hurt the way she was.
Love with him felt like it was torture. She knew that he would not come running back to her.
She knew that he would not chase her down the street and tell her that she was the woman of his dreams.
She wasn't the woman who was going to be the mother of his kids. The future that she had imagined with him had just remained to be thoughts.
It had never gone anywhere and to make matters worse she was the only one who had thought about their future together.
It felt like she was sinking and no matter how much she tried she just kept falling. The tears had already dried up and her eyes were so puffy.
She was tough but that had stopped her from breaking down for the man that she loved.
She was always going to remember him for the rest of her life. The man she loved with everything in her but he had never felt the same way for her.
It was beautiful on the days that he had wanted it to be beautiful. She deserved better and if he was not going to give it she had to let him go.
Crying a few nights wasn't going to be that hard m She would eventually let him go.
She had to he was no longer his. She was the only person who was going to be able to lift herself if she hit the ground.
She wouldn't let herself crumble because of love she was better than that.