SAD PEOPLE

Some people are born sad. There's no reason as to why they are like that it just happened. They bruise easily and cry easily. Raul was that kind of person.

There was a reason why he was the way he was. He was closed if and people found him to bit be exciting at all.

It was hard to be a chirpy person when you didn't even have a childhood.

To him, he was still the sad little bit that he was while growing up.

I think that it's best if everyone had their childhood while growing up. A childhood where they could play with people their age and not worry about how things were going to be at home that evening.

Running around with friends chasing the sunset as if that was the last day they were going to see the sunset.

It was so sad not having that. I wish every child could be able to have that freedom as a child. Not them to have to worry if they had something to eat at home.

No matter how much people tried to blame their parents for everything they did, maybe they were also clueless.

They were parents for the first time and did everything they could to try to protect you and give you everything you needed in life.

Maybe they were not bad people they were just doing the things they saw happening around them while they grew up.

Then again people had this thing in them that told them if what they were doing was right or wrong.

Was it hard to follow that instinct in you?

Raul was a broken child thanks to his parents.

In his perspective, they had not tried or maybe his father had but tried at all.

He didn't fail to remind them every day how much different his life would be without them.

He sometimes wondered if they had been forced to be parents. Did anyone hold a gun to their head and tell them they would die if they didn't have kids?

His childhood was full of tears and fear in his eyes every single time and he wondered why he deserves that at such a young age.

As long as he could remember he was always jealous of other kids. Jealous that they could have things that he could just see at the store as he walked by.

How lovingly they talked about their parents. He could never talk like that about their parents. His father was horrible.

Sometimes he wondered what it would take to make sure his father was dead. At his age, he thought that was a normal thought but the more you thought about it as a grown-up you realized how twisted it was.

He was a child having those thoughts. How horrible had his father been?

His childhood had made him hate being a parent m He had never imagined himself as one.

How could you be an amazing partner when you were just full of scars that you didn't know how to heal?

He didn't know who he felt sorry for more. Was it his mother or his younger brother?

He had reached a point where he did not keep wondering what was going to happen to him. Every time he saw his mother crying it broke his heart into pieces.

She was just surviving. That was what was happening in her life and he knew she deserved more than that. She deserved to be in her kitchen cooking for her little family that she loved.

A family that she lived around. A husband that adored her and never failed to remind her every day that she was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

In another universe his mother was happy. He was with the love of his life who was his soulmate. Someone who made her genuinely happy and always put a smile on her face.

That wasn't a lot to ask for. He also knew that she didn't have any kids in a parallel universe. She was just enjoying life with no burdens.

He hadn't realized how bad his childhood was until he tried to remember the things that had happened. They were not funny all they made him feel was a certain pain in the pit of his stomach.

He felt like there was a lump there that was just making him uncomfortable. They were things that he had tried as much as possible not to remember.

He had locked them away in his brain with the hopes of not remembering them again. He couldn't even cry when he remembered them.

All he wanted to do was break things so that the rage inside him would subside.

If he could he would take away all the memories of them growing up from Scarface so that he could have a normal life.

They were past that stage though and there was nothing he could do to save the day. The damage had already been done and most of it was because of him.

Every time he saw his brother he had this feeling in his chest that he didn't know if it was regret or hatred. He hated that he was doing so well even without trying but he wanted that to be him

Yet again there was this feeling in him that he did not know why he felt it. Every time he looked at his brother it dawned on him that he was the reason he had the scars that he had.

Raul was sure that his brother had not forgiven him even though he said that he had. There was no way he could forgive someone for doing that much damage to his body and face.

He was convinced that if Scarface wanted to kill him he could do it anytime considering all the things that Raul had done that had fucked up his life.

He was still convinced that he did not do it on purpose but the more you looked at the situation it was clear that he knew what he was doing on the night of the fire.