Untamed Desire: Part XVII

LILYANNA'S P.O.V.

"Lily, please I just wanna talk. I don't wanna end things like this." He inched closer causing me to step back. As soon as he realized I was walking away from him he stopped in his tracks, staring at me with gloomy eyes and a scowl.

"Can we please not talk about this outside?"

"Then when are we gonna talk, Lily?"

"I don't know. I just don't wanna talk about this right now." I tapped my foot against the concrete and frantically looked back and forth. Hoping that by some miracle Una's car would get her any second.

"But why? Why are you running away from me?"

"I'm not running away from you." I shuttered, picking at the loose skin on my lips.

"Yes, you are!" He raised his hands into the air, "How is this not running away?"

"Okay, fine. I'm sorry I just can't deal with this right now."

"What about the conversation we had at the lake?"

"What about it?"

"We talked about how you played with my emotions. And I can't help but feel like I'm being played again. Can you at least tell me what's wrong? I don't understand why you are acting like this. This is what I feared the most, you regretting me."

"I don't regret you or what we did."

"Then why are you leaving!? Is it because of your ex?"

"I don't know."

"Can we try to figure it out together?"

"Why? We're not a couple so there is no need for us to talk. I changed my mind, that is all, now can you please leave me alone?" I snapped.

"Why do you keep pushing me away?"

"Because I'm scared!" I sharply turned toward Indy and I pointed back and forth between me and him. "This scares me, Indigo! It scares me that I have these strong feelings that I can't seem to control! I feel split and confused, one moment I know what I want and the next I end up second-guessing myself! It scares me that I feel strongly about someone I don't know anything about! " I looked down at the ground as tears started to swell up in my eyes. One by one each tear ran down my cheeks and fell down below, decorating the concrete with rough dark circles. I stared at my hands which were violently trembling; chucking because my hands matched the chaos I felt inside.

"Lilyanna…" I sensed him walk closer, and my suspicion was confirmed when I saw his bare feet come into focus. He placed his thumb on my chin and his fingers rested under my jaw. He gently pressed up against my jawbone and guided my eyes to his. For a moment his soft eyes peered right into mine, and my heart calmed. "My name is Indigo Derek Woods, I was born on January 27th, 1999. My favorite color is dark green and my favorite food is steak and mashed potatoes. I love going on hikes and exploring the outdoors. I hate sitting still because I always feel like I have to do something productive. This may not be anywhere close to everything about me, but it's a start."

"How does this not scare you?"

"Because I've been waiting for you my whole life."

"Yeah right." I chuckled thinking he was joking. I soon realized by his expression that he wasn't. "How could you have been waiting for me your whole life when we've only known each other for less than a week?"

"It's hard to explain."

"What do you mean, hard to explain?" I shoved his hand away from me and stepped back.

"Lily, It's not something that I usually talk about. Not everyone will understand, you might not understand.

"I don't know what that means!"

"Please, Lily. Can we just talk about this calmly for once? This whole week has just been so chaotic. You want to be around me but then you run away. It's like we're going in a huge circle. This isn't healthy, I want to explain everything to you, just not like this."

"What are you talking about? Why is it I'm the only sane one here? We're not in some weird circle, and my reaction is completely normal!"

"Maybe it was your normal, Lily! Maybe this is the type of behavior that you're used to! This might feel normal to you but it isn't for me! I grew up with the idea that you are supposed to love and support your partner, not run and belittle them!"

"We are not partners! We are not boyfriend or girlfriend! We are nothing Indigo!"

"Then why did you say yes!? Why did you even agree to come to my apartment with me if we were nothing!? The thing is, Lilyanna, you say all these hurtful things but I don't believe you!"

I stepped back as my eyes grew big. I tried to speak but my lips trembled, not able to form a single word. I turned as I heard tires driving against the ground, the car's soft hum getting louder the closer it got. A small white car pulled up parallel to the building entrance. The car window on the passenger's side screeched as it rolled down, revealing Una in the driver's seat. Una glanced up at me before her eyes glided over to Indigo. Her eyes which were almost squinted shut grew wide as her jaw dropped. She glanced back and forth between us with a slight stutter.

"Una, I'm so glad you're here." I rushed to the car and opened the door. I sat down in the passenger seat and let out a deep breath. Before I could close the door Indigo stepped in the way. His hand now rested on the top of the car door and he leaned his torso down toward me. His bright indigo eyes peered right into my soul. I felt my emotions go haywire as I was angry, sad, and happy all at the same time.

"Lily, it doesn't matter how much you push me away. I will keep trying to work this out and I will keep being here for you. Because I know deep down, you feel the exact same way I do. I'll see you on Monday." He closed the car door and waved me and Una goodbye before heading back into his apartment building. I looked back at Una, her eyes and mouth still wide in astonishment.

"When I gave you shit for going on a grand adventure I had no idea that adventure was Indigo."

"Una, I love you, but I am not in the mood for jokes. I need some time and space to cool down. Can you just take me home, please?"

"I get it if you don't wanna talk. Are you at least okay? Did he hurt you? Because if he did I would have no problem kicking his ass and burying him somewhere deep in the forest."

"It's nothing like that, I promise."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay…" Una turned back toward the wheel and gently pushed down on the gas pedal, driving us out of the parking lot. I would continually look out the window on our way home. Paying attention to every detail I could. We drove by houses, a park, people, and many trees that were planted along the sidewalk. Some of the trees were fully grown while others were a bit bigger than saplings. The car radio sang in the background and we remained quiet. I wasn't really in the mood to talk. It was like my head was spinning and I couldn't find my footing on the ground. We finally made it home to our apartment building, Una parking in her assigned parking space right next to my crappy 1999 Egyptian blue Toyota Camry. It's been a while since I've taken it out for a drive, though carpooling with Una saves us both money on gas.

I slowly opened the car door and walked to our apartment, I rummaged through my pockets and sighed in relief as I felt the cold metal of my keys. Una's soft footsteps followed behind me as I unlocked the front door. As I walked in I took a quick glance at the microwave clock which read 4:07 pm. The sound of the door shutting echoed, I peered back towards Una who was locking the top and bottom locks. She turned towards me and sighed, running her fingers through her hair.

"I'm gonna take a nap." Una strode to her bedroom door; her back slouched. "Wake me up if there is an emergency."

"Thank you, Una. For picking me up. I really appreciate you being there for me."

"I'm always gonna be there for you."

"Don't you have one more class?"

"Yeah, but I'm too drained right now to go. Plus I don't feel like driving back to college just to come home an hour later."

"Fair, I'll talk to you later."

"You better, you have a lot of explaining to do." Una walked into her bedroom and shut the door behind her, leaving me in silence. I decided to retire to my bedroom as well, unsure what I was going to do for the rest of the day. I found my dead phone on the bed where I left it and inspected it.

~At least I have phone insurance so I can get a new one.~

As I was playing around with the buttons I jumped at the black screen lit up stark white.

~I guess it's not as dead as I thought.~

When the screen returned to normal I noticed that the battery of my phone was at four percent. As I tried to open some of the phone apps I noticed that there was a delay and my sound was turned off.

~Great, my phone is registering headphones plugged in when there aren't. I might have to get a new phone after all.~

I looked through my past notifications to make sure I didn't miss anything important when I noticed that I received a text and some missed calls from an unknown number. I clicked on the message to see if it was anyone I recognized yet I could not recall anyone with that number. The message was only three words long, yet those three words sent a piercing pain through my heart. My hands shook causing my phone to slip from my sweaty palms. I covered my mouth as I shook my head back and forth. I stepped back, trying to hold back the tears that demanded to be released. Three words… three simple words yet I couldn't get rid of the dread I felt in my heart.

~This can't be real, this can't be happening. Please tell me this is not happening!~

Thursday 14 Jul- 12:56 pm

I found you ;)