Midnight thoughts (14)

*Jonathan*

It's unbelievable. My mind seems to be frozen whenever I'm around Alexis, because I always manage to say something stupid, flirtatious, quote like when I'm around her. And the worst part: IT HAPPENS UNCONSCIOUSLY.

Two minutes ago I told her that she's a Pegasus that hasn't found her wings to fly away yet. WHY THE HECK DID I SAY THAT? What did I want to imply, that she needed a change in her life to get it all together?

Ask your heart my brain said. Ask your brain my heart said. Seriously, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? Aren't my heart and brain supposed to synchronize for the greater good?

"Mabye we don't command you anymore," said the little angel on my right shoulder.

"What?" I gasped surprised because my life at this moment started to feel like a fiction book.

"Maybe it's your inner desires that are commanding you," said the little devil on my left shoulder .

"WHAT? I CANNOT HAVE INNER DESIRES ABOUT ALEXIS!" I forgot they were in my mind and shouted this loudly. And unfortunately Nicky heard.

"You have WHAT about MY sister?" He stood up from the bed. "Say that again, please, LOUD AND CLEAR"

"Oh boy," I thought. I swear I have never seen Nicky so angry in my life.

"It's not what it looks like... I was just..." I mumbled.

Nicky captured me from the blouse, like the cat traps the mouse from its tail, ready to eat it. I was never the "fight guy" and even if I were, I couldn't have fought against Nicky, because he had every right to get angry. I said an unpleasant thing that included his little sister, so the least he could do, was to be overprotective.

"It's not what it looks like, huh? YOU WINKED AT HER AFTER DINNER!"

"What? I didn't wink at her!" I cried. And then I realized:

"OH SHIT. I WINKED AT HER!"

Nicky rolled his eyes.

"Oh wow, what a conclusion big boy. Now why did you say THE PREVIOUS THING"

I was trying to find an appropriate answer, but I couldn't, so the only response Nicky got was my silence.

"I KNEW IT!" he let go of me and started crying like a baby.

It was a scene I could never forget. A big brother overwhelmed because he heard me thinking out loud dirty thoughts about his sister.

"You knew what?" I asked curiously.

"My two favorite people in the world are in a relationship. I'm so happy!" He said with his tears pouring like two Niagara Falls from each eye.

"Wait, wait WHAT?! We aren't in a RELATIONSHIP!"

"That's not what your inner desires say broooo..." he teased me.

"Oh no you didn't just use that thing against me!" I cry-laughed a little worried.

"Oh yes I just did, and I'll blackmail you with this for the rest of your life" he said and then we both burst out laughing. I didn't think he was serious. And later I'd find painfully that he was serious.

"I'm going out to clear my mind," I said and left the room.

The rain had stopped a while ago, so as soon as I stepped outside, I took a deep breath. The smell of the forest after rain was my favorite smell of all times, so relaxing and refreshing. I took a few more steps, wandering, as a chill breeze got me out of this world. And when I opened my eyes I saw Alexis standing right there, next to me. She was staring at the sky. She hadn't noticed me yet.

"Hey," I said. "Can't sleep?"

"Yeah. You either?"

"Nah," I explained. "To many thoughts running through my head."

"Haha same," she smirked. "Trying to find the meaning of that philosophal quotation you said earlier,"

I wanted to tell her that I actually said that by mistake, but I didn't want to look like a fool.

"Haha don't overthink that. You'll figure it out eventually," I mumbled.

"And also trying to figure out the meaning of that wink," she added sort of emberassed.

"Oh," I said. "I guess I just winked accidentally, sorry for making you stay up late."

This was a lie. I could never wink accidentally. I guess those were my inner desires, as my little devil called them.

"That's a big relief," she said "because my sister has been bugging me all night, talking to me about your bad intentions against me. That's hilarious, right?"

"Yeah hahah" I fake-laughed, trying to look as real as I could. "So what were you doing here before I came?"

"Oh you know, just looking at the starry sky. Sometimes I just like to stay here," she layed on the grass "and fall asleep stargazing."

I layed next to her. The sky was looking truly magnificent that night. It had some purplish-blueish colors that just amazed me.

"Novalunosis" I murmured.

"What?" Alexis asked.

"The state of relaxation and wonderment experienced while gazing upon the stars."

"I guess I have this disease then."

"It's not a disease, it's a state of mind."

"How do you make everything sound so smart?"

"Because I am smart?" I raised my eyebrows like a philosopher.

"Haha, you bet," she pushed me jokingly. "Oh, look over there!" she laughed pointingat the sky. "It looks like you raising your brows."

"See that constellation right at the north? Looks like you picking your nose..."

She looked at me pretty seriously.

"I swear to God, I haven't picked my nose once in my life."

"That's not what the stars say!" I replied. "Okay, look at me," I added. "You laugh, you lie." and then I did my philosophal eyebrow trick. She tried to hold the laughter, but then we both laughed so hard, that our stomaches started hurting.

"Can I tell you something?" Alexis opened the conversation after a while.

"Yeah, of course."

"Mabye, we should...uhm.." she mumbled.

"Mabye what?" I got confused.

"Mabye next time, we... should study somewhere else!" she said as she turned around. "What are you two little f*ckers doing at the window?"

I turned around and saw Nicky and Katie pretending they weren't at the window.

"Seriously, next time we study somewhere else." Alexis sounded angry. "These people are getting on my nerves. Now we probably should go inside, it's getting pretty late to stay outside, even on a sleeples night. At least, until those two get of that window. I swear tomorrow I will kill them both as soon as they land out of that door, cause today I'm pretty tired."

"Remember me to help you" I added.

"Did Jonathan the Good Guy just say that he's going to help me cover a murder?" Alexis continued confused. "F*ck, this world's messed up man!"