12.

Jason P.O.V.

I watched Madi as she smiled at my mom and answered her questions politely. It made me so angry when I woke up and she wasn't beside me. Not only because my wolf craved her presence but as an unmated female other males could try to make her his, but she was mine, and only mine.

I could feel how tense she was with my hand resting on her hip. Even with how tense I could feel she was, she managed to look relaxed and careless in the presence of my mom. Eventually, when my mom left leaving our food for us I was surprised when Madi made no attempt to move away from me.

I saw uncertainty in her eyes when she looked at me. It was like she wanted to say something but was unsure how to say it. I grabbed her hand and rubbed across her knuckles with my thumb to try and soothe her anxiety. Surprisingly she just smiled at me.

She bit her lip nervously and looked right into my eyes, "I read an entry in your journal."

I froze, "What?"

Madi P.O.V.

I felt uneasy as he froze next to me and I could see the anger in his expression. He walked over to the bookshelf grabbed the book and brought it over to his desk locking it in his drawer.

"What did you see?" He refused to look at me.

I was quiet but he looked at me expectantly. " I only saw the last entry. I didn't mean to read it. I really didn't I promise! I just saw it. It didn't look like any of the other books so I picked it up to look at it and before I knew it I was reading your journal entry. I'm sorry," my voice has gotten small by the end of it all and I couldn't look at him.

I heard a loud sigh and looked up to see him run his hand threw his hair and my fingers itched to smooth down the silky-looking stands. I clenched my hands together and stiffened my legs to keep myself from walking over and doing just that.

He looked up at me, "Just go back to our room. Take your food and stay in our room. I will tell everyone that the luna is not feeling well. Just go."

I felt tears in my eyes as he dismissed me. I grabbed my food tray and walked out without saying anything. I quickly walked to our room relieved that I ran into no one because there were definitely tears running down my face. I wasn't crying so much because I was hurt more than the fact that I hurt him. I knew it was wrong as soon as I started reading it, but I couldn't bring myself to stop.

Jason P.O.V.

I watched in disbelief as she walked out of the room. I saw the tears in her eyes and it killed me, but how could she invade my privacy? I flipped to the last entry to reread what I had written.

Goddess help me. I don't even know her and I love her. But she despises me, and I can't really blame her. I rejected her after everything she had been through. I wish I had treated her right from the beginning. My wolf is tearing me apart from how I made her feel. I hope someday she can find it in herself to forgive me. I love her so much and I just want her to accept me.

~ Jason

I rubbed my face with my hands letting out a long sigh. Now she knows I love her. What a mess. After everything, I've done I know she doesn't feel the same and this will just make things worse than they already were. I pushed those thoughts aside as a knock sounded on the door for my first meeting.

Madi P.O.V.

My stomach turned as I looked at the food on the tray. There was no way I could eat that. It looked fine but I didn't feel fine. Being upset was messing with my stomach. I knew I was going to be in here for a while so I turned on a movie on the TV. I felt myself begin to drift off before it was finally all dark.

I felt heat spread threw out my body and felt a burn build in my stomach. I sat up straight waking up. Sweat was running down my face and soaking my body. I felt hot like I had a fever. I stood up and walked to the bathroom. I looked into the mirror and my hair was stuck to my head by my sweat and I looked slightly pink showing how heated I was. I peeled my sweaty clothes off turned on the shower and stepped under the cool spray. I felt the burning in my stomach relax a little and it felt good to have cool water on my skin. I still cleaned up even though I had taken a shower that morning.

I had not brought clothes in with me so thank Goddess when I was done Jason was not back yet. I pulled out shorts and a tank top because despite the cold shower I was still overheated. I got dressed and found a rubber band throwing my hair up.

I sat on the bed and felt the uncomfortable heat in my stomach again. I stood up and searched the closet finding a fan. I plugged it in and pointed it toward me. Ten minutes later I was still dying so I walked over to the thermostat and turned it on as cold as it could go. I let out a sigh as the cool air filled the room. I jumped as the door slammed open. I looked up in shock to see Jason with lust in his eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me you were going into heat?" Finally, it all made sense.

I looked at Jason in shock, "How could you tell? I thought it was just a hot flash or something."

He looked at me incredulously, "You are way too young for hot flashes Madi."

I looked away embarrassed by how uneducated I was about everything. My mother and I were close but because it took me longer to shift and I didn't have a mate so she just never talked to me about it.

"Why does it matter? You're mad at me anyways so just leave me to deal with it."

Realization came over his face as he said, "You don't know anything about being in heat do you?"

I shook my head quickly looking at the ground. I heard him let out a loud sigh and walk over to me. I still refused to look up until his rough fingers tilted my chin up forcibly enough to make my head move, but not enough to hurt me.

He studied my eyes, "I'll be right back."

I sighed in relief as he left the room. But it was short-lived, as he came back in moments later. I didn't bother asking him what he was doing; he wouldn't tell me anyway. I gasped as the bed dipped and he quickly pulled me against him. I looked at him in shock but I quieted with the smoldering look he gave me. All I saw in his eyes was his lust and his wolf.

Before I could manage to utter a word his lips were on mine. I wasted no time objecting, it was almost like I couldn't. His lips were soft on mine and moved in sync like they were made to fit mine. Slowly he began kissing down my neck as he rolled on top of me. I couldn't manage any words just breathy sighs and moans. I couldn't even resist him, it was like my body wouldn't let me.

He kissed along the tops of my shorts then pulled them down slowly. I was nearly panting by this time and I could feel that I was soaked below the border. I watched as he looked up at me and put his mouth to me. My hips lifted at the first lick then remained in the air as he continued. I felt one finger followed by another. I felt a tightness building up in my lower belly as he ate me and pumped his fingers in and out. I let out a loud moan as I felt my ending near. I fisted his hair but he seemed to pay little mind to it.

Finally, I exploded into what felt like a million pieces. I looked up at him and opened my mouth but the anger on his face convinced me not to say anything. He walked to the bathroom and I watched him through the door as he washed his hands his face and brushed his teeth. I wordlessly watched him leave. The burning sensation was at bay now but I was at a loss. How could he still be mad at me after what just happened? And it wasn't just mad, he was cold. It was just a journal and I know it was wrong and I feel bad but I don't deserve this.

Jason P.O.V.

I wanted to punch myself for the hard-on I have. I left her shocked face in that room by herself. I can't believe it; She's not a virgin. I went into the room next door. There was no way I could be around her right now. She was in heat so my wolf wanted her but as mad as I was I couldn't be around her. You're supposed to save yourself for your mate. Especially females. It's different with males but females aren't supposed to be able to. I had been with only one other woman and that was because I believed she was my mate.

The next days until her heat ends are going to be hell. And I have to go threw this every month. She was in heat for the next two days. Every day I went in to subdue her heat but there was no talk and always a confused and hurt look on her face when I left. She knew this was about more than a journal. I was actually over that. I ignored her attempts to talk to me. She was smart enough to stay in the room while she was in heat. Today I stood at our bedroom door and could no longer smell her burning sweet heat so I left to my office to do some paperwork.

I was surprised a few hours later as Madi barged right in with no knock into my meeting and said, "I want an explanation. A journal isn't that bad there is something else. I deserve, at the very least, a damn explanation!"