Chapter One, Hope I Never Kill Myself

Sophie was sitting in her room thinking about what the meaning of her life really is, she is just another unknown person on the earth. It's cold and dark outside, cooped up in her blanket on top of the bed, since school did not go as planned. Lizzie Jones always argues with Sophie claiming that she should do her hair in an attractive way, and apply makeup so she can get the attention of Kyle Knight guy in Sophie's class, who she has a crush on.

Kyle Knight is smart, cool and down to earth, he wears cool clothes and smells nice, but what can I say guys like that don't date girls like Sophie, she is simply a shadow breathing in class. Lizzie is the complete opposite of Sophie, they have been friends since they were eight years old. Lizzie has grown into this new transformed person Sophie does not know, while she has to keep up with Lizzie's insanity every day. Sophie really loves her and all the boys seem to go crazy whenever she is around because she is beautiful. Sophie has become merely a shadow next to Lizzie, just because you are smart people seem to distance themselves away from you, but each and every day she needs to adapt to it. Like Lizzie always says don't plan life, just let it be, it might surprise you someday. Sophie gets into bed and pulls the blanket open, moves the pillows and pulls the blankets to cover herself, switching off her bedside light as she hopes the following day will be much better than the one she experienced. Waking up is always a big challenge for Sophie it's like an obstacle she has to face every day. If it was up to her our bodies would restart themselves and we would never sleep. She is so not a morning person and having to face another day at school "oh my god please come and save me" she thinks, the alarm keeps on ringing and the sun is shining bright in the window. Sophie is done bathing, her hair all over the place, she fixes it and combs it as her mother continues to call her for breakfast so they can eat as a family, taking a few steps down the stairs she remembers that Hope, her older sister, didn't come home yesterday and is nowhere to be found. She probably slept at her boyfriend's house without saying and dad is fuming. Oh, this day is going to be bad, reaching the table she tries to eat fast before missing the bus. Mom asks "how did you sleep, Sophie?"

As always, an everyday routine

"I slept well mom like a baby."

"How was school yesterday?"

Oh mom with these morning questions like she is in an interrogating room, Sophie knows that after these questions, she will further be asked about Hope.

"It was fine mom," I said smiling and looking at her, I hope she doesn't see through my fake smile because they say mother knows best.

As if though I would tell her that school is always boring, I feel like I am dead at school, no one includes me in anything and this boy I have a crush on doesn't even notice me. "Always be great," as Sophie kisses her mom and dad on the cheek and headed out the door, she felt a very heavy weight being lifted off her shoulders, because her dad didn't ask her about Hope and where she was and why she didn't come home. Sophie would not have had the answers as she is unable to read her sister's mind.

As she gets inside the bus Sophie sees Lizzie waiting for her. "Hey," Lizzie says with a smile on her face, she is happy, you can see that, her smile could make the sun shine even brighter. While I am in an okay mood, nothing more, nothing less.

"Hey," Sophie says in a low voice.

"How are you feeling girl?" Lizzie had a curious expression. I will never be left alone with these questions

"I am okay hope for the best this morning" I say trying to convince Lizzie that I am okay. Why would I be in a bad mood anyway, just not a morning person and I don't like morning questions.

It's nice to see people happy and excited, the first period is maths, Oscar is busy bugging me about this math question as I close my locker. I so hate when Mrs. Smith has an attitude because she and her husband are having marital problems, she normally makes the morning feel like hell. Oh, shoot the class is about to start its 8h00.

As Mrs. Smith enters the classroom you can see she had a rough night, her hair is a mess, her dress barely ironed and her skin is dry like she didn't sleep in her house last night. I can hear the girls sitting in front of me, the "gossipers," making harsh comments noting that her husband is cheating on her with a woman who has big breasts, long hair and a cute bum.

What is wrong with men? They don't value the love they have in front of them, they become brainwashed when they see a beautiful girl as if though they are seeing gold. They do not realize that the things that are needed besides good looks is their heart, how they care about others, and trust. These would be the things which are very important in a relationship, not gold diggers, as people would remember for exactly that should you die, and that will necessarily be the best thing.

I can't think about this anymore because I know it was probably other problems. I feel sorry for Mrs. Smith, but she just has to be a strong woman, and not take her frustrations out on us.