Chapter two, Eyes

They say beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. I have yearned for you to just look at me. Just a second would not hurt, I thought. I never imagined that we would spend time together, your eyes fixated on my face, carrying a smile that I can never express how it also makes me smile.

Deep down, I never thought that my hollow heart could ever beat again, just by you glancing at me for more than just a mere second. No matter how hard I try to meet your eyes, the inner child in me is crying, of the inner scars that were left unsaid.

Concentrate, he deserves better! The inner voice that was supposed to be inspiring me, giving me hope, that those eyes that are looking at me, just maybe one day, will accompany a smile. A genuine smile, that would be meant to express the love they have for me. He deserves better. He deserves a woman that will wipe his tears and give him strength when it is hard, a warm hug when it is cold, and an ear to listen to all his ideas. He deserves a woman that will rightfully stand next to him, while building the empire and future that everyone is seeking.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, it is me again. Beauty, I am looking for you in each and every part of my body, but I cannot seem to find you, eyes that had hope now carrying despair. He deserves better, that is something I know. I knew he would never look at me, the way I look at him.

A heart that was pounding and yearning for love. A girl that devastatingly went back to that black corner in a dark room, where no one could see the tears in her golden-brown eyes.

"Why make a big deal out of it, it is not the end of the world. Besides, love is bullshit." I told them so I can feel better about myself. A dream of getting married, and having kids which I never once imagined, because at the end of the day it will hurt.