Chapter four, Craving

It only takes one heartbeat, one glance, just one second, one genuine smile, and it only takes one touch to realize something deep inside is not right. Something tells you inside your gut and it becomes a feeling that you cannot shake off.

These thoughts have been brought by the craving and yearning inside, to be projected into dreams that can never happen, how I wish you can hold me. I really wonder how your hands would feel on me if you were to hold me closer to you.

I saw you today and you did not even glance back. I wonder how it would feel like to be held by you, while I cry on your shoulder, and you tell me that everything will be okay. As you wipe my tears and look at me with love and eyes full of adoration. I surely would know that tomorrow is going to be okay.

Sell me a dream, if only you knew that "you are the main reason I make it through my day, you give me the reason to better all my ways"

hoping, hoping, and hoping…

At times I sit on my bed in my bedroom, wondering if time will fade away together with my feelings for you, as well as my thoughts, lingering with memories "I love myself too much to be put in situations I cannot control, you cannot force someone to fancy you" I remember telling my friends that.

I am bleeding, all alone, feeling lonely.

You are my constant if only you knew.

With these cravings, they can only be satisfied by you.

What is it with you?

My eyes blinded. Why do I even want you when I do not even see a future with you?

Why do you look so perfect, with no imperfections at all?

'I love the imperfections of perfection' I always told myself.

These questions, and more other questions, still with no answers, only leaving expectations behind and deeper meanings.

Why is it easy to crave for things that I cannot have to the point that it hurts me? I wonder why it is so easy.

I hate.

Hating how you, made your way into my life without you even knowing. When you pry into my life while you cannot even spare me a smile.