Chapter ten, Alone

Tears running down my face, trying to close the void that has made a space in my heart.

Looking around there is no one, no one to call, no one to hold me and make me laugh.

Yearning and longing to be held, I also wish to get cuddles.

In this quiet room all alone, but no one can understand how I feel.

The world around me is living the best of their lives, nothing hurts like wanting to cry so hard, but you must fake a smile to accommodate the fun and happiness of everyone.

When it is my time, I guess I cannot wait anymore.

I do not know what do to with myself, I just want to be a child for once.

Nothing is better sometimes, I guess.

My chest is heavy, it is so hard to breathe in this darkness, I just want to feel better.

Watching movies does not feel like it used to before, the taste of tea has become taste less all numb and gone.

Romance genre has become a habit to live in a fantasy that will never happen.

It gets tiring sometimes I just want to be normal, but what is normal?

Hungry for love they told me, I have too much love to give that has never been reciprocated, all I can do it is to be happy for everyone.

I want to scream but nothing comes out, taking a walk and coming back the void is there, laughing is only temporary.

As I pour my feelings into this piece of paper hoping to be heard, hoping to feel better and I do not have anyone to talk with rather than myself.

Cuddle my pillow in silence, wipe the tears running down my face hoping for sleep to capture me and have a dream full of happiness as I look at the bottle of sleeping pills that do not work anymore.

Lost in space, my mind spinning in sorrow, my thoughts thinking about you.

Forever still.