You are selfish clarrisa

For the rest of the day, I was up alone in my room.

My head was bugging with more thoughts. Ranging from my ex brothers, to my brothers punishment then especially to mother. I was more worried about mother.  Did they threaten her with  gun or something? I wonder how she'll feel when my brothers matched invaded and took her sons before her eyes. How could she be coping now? Is she having trouble? Gosh I really wish to see her again.

Beside I've missed her so much already.

Trying to get my mind off things I starts drawing, I was half way in it when door opened suddenly, I couldn't help but stare as Jayden walked in.

"Clarrisa..."

"There's a reason why the word 'knocking' was evented"  I spat under my breath, getting angry that I flinched. I was angry at everything even.

"I'm sorry but I really knock and you didn't answer." He says with no emotions.

"You could have waited for permission then"

"I really I'm not here for this clarrissa. Dinner is set let's go eat" he said Authoritatively.

"I don't look like I'm hungry do I?" I rolled my eyes.

"You haven't eaten since morning so get your ass out of  that bed and follow me." His pitch was a bit higher this time.

"And if I don't?" I arched him an eye brow, folding my arm to my chest.

"I'll drag you down since I've to." He said sternly.

"Then you're no different from my ex brothers." I hissed.

I don't know what I was expecting but I didn't expect the Instant rage that crossed Jayden's  face, his eyes was pure red and I noticed his veins pops from his arms.

My heart sank into my stomach, Jayden manages to crush all the courage and fearless amor I was wearing. Fear dominated me.

"Look here baby." When he walked towards and lean to my level, I suddenly couldn't breath "I'm really not a man of patience you should know it. I've been trying to keep it cool with you so  please don't push me." Though he sound calm but that was threatening.

"F—Fine." I stuttered miserably and Close the  draw book then  place it on the dresser.

I trailed behind Jayden as we walked out of the room.

All the way, my mind was going wild. I suddenly dreaded facing my brothers. For sure they are mad at me right now that'll certainly come with a punishment. I mean if I remember correctly, Antonio stated in the rule that we should respect our elder brothers but today I broke that rule and even worst.

Why did I let my temper get best of me huh?! Why??

Finally we've arrived at dinning, I swallowed a lump as I met everyone rounding the table. The reaction I got wasn't what I was expecting, they all have this relief look on thier faces. Antonio especially.

"l'hai portata davvero" Antonio say in an undertone.

(You indeed brought her)

"I told you I can pull it off." Jayden  shrugged and got himself a seat.

Liam stood up and help me draw out a seat before I could.

I sat down without saying a word.

Dinner was scrambled eggs. I was surprise when none of my brothers say anything to me, we all just started eating.

I couldn't afford to meet any of their gaze though so I just focus on my food.

"Clarrisa," my heart jump as Antonio spoke at the middle of the dinner. "We are really so sorry for..."

"You don't have to apologize" it was rude to cut someone off but I've done it before I realize myself.

Racheal picked offense and slamming her folk on desk she yelled, "what exactly do you want clarrisa? Why can't you stop being narrow minded and see from the positive side that we did what we did for your own sake! Do you think I would have come to the picture if I didn't have your interest at heart?If anything, you should be thanking us right now"

"I didn't ask for that did I? Nothing justifies the fact that you all disrespected my decision. I may be the lowest in this family but I've a right too. You know what? I'm so done with this discussion" dropping my culteries, I stood up to leave but in flash Racheal stood up and held my hands back.

"No, We aren't done yet clarrisa." Racheal spate and flipped me around angressively.

"Racheal!" One of my brothers yelled her name but Racheal paid no attention.

"You know what?! you're so selfish. You are such an ungrateful self centered freak. Yes you only care about yourself clarrisa, you think the whole world revolves around you and everything should be in your Favour just because our brothers treat you so much like a princess!" She yelled angrily her eyes glistening red, tears suddenly blurred my vision.

No, not because she was angry but the words she was saying cut me deep like a knife. The names she called me. Freak! Brought sick memory of how I use to be called a freak.

Ungrateful?! Selfish?! Am I really ungrateful?!

Guilt filled me immediately and more tears streamed down my eyes.

I heard my brothers called her name with caution but she again paid deaf ears and said the next statement that crushed me to dust.

'Now if you'll ask me, I think you're the drive that pushed your ex-brothers into Hurting you because you're just too much! An ungrateful person like you doesn't even deserve to be loved and cared for because you won't appreciate anyway so you deserve whatever those morons did to you!"  

The dam in my system broke and more tears poured out of my eyes.

"THAT's ENOUGH RACHEAL?!" Matoe  yelled.

"Why? You and I both know that I was saying the truth right?"

"Racheal shut the fuck  up!!"  Liam yelled at Racheal and  starts a heavy argument between them but I wasn't really paying attention.

Matoe stood up to come ask if I was alright while Jayden and Antonio was still sitting. But of course i wasn't alright.

I began to hear my ex brothers voices in my head.

"Just get this straight, you may be related to us by blood but we are never going to consider you as our sister" that was Dennis on a certain occasion.

"You're such a selfish bitch. You took dad's life  and now you're getting our mother's attention to yourself too."  That was Jake.

"You know what?! Useless freaks like you deserve this!" Samson yelled at me on one occasion and pouch me on the nose.

A real life pouch, jolts me back to life. I discovered Racheal had pouched Liam square on the jaw. Liam winced and staggered back. He got furious and wanted to hit Racheal but she held his hands up.

Both Antonio and Jayden had to stand up this time around trying to stop Racheal and Liam who were both in a fighting stance but ignoring Antonio and Jayden, these two started fighting.

Even though Racheal was matching liam's every move, it still sparked something in me.

The whole sight starts fading in and out. Sometimes I sees myself as Racheal and being beaten up by my brothers.

I was shaking, i closed my eyes to block out the memory but it didn't work as the kick were re sounding in my ears.

"Stop..." I muttered as I placed my both palms in my ears.

Through my tears blurring vision, I noticed Antonio and Jayden and Mattoe had shifted attention from the two fighters, they were saying something to me but I wasn't listening.

They were trying to touch me but I was shifting back. Their faces was fading into my brothers faces and more fear dominated me I was shaking beyond control.

"Please...please don't hurt me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I swear I won't do it again." I didn't know exactly why I was apologizing but I was and kept stepping back while doing so.

Matoe's POV.

"Clarrisa? Are you alright?" Obviously she was not but Antonio asked that the moment we heard her muttered "stop."

She was covering her ears and obviously begging Liam and  Racheal to stop fighting, she looked so traumatized and scared.

Antonio moved forward trying to touch her but she was stepping back and starts begging us not to hurt her.

I felt to hurt and angered that I didn't know how I'd punched  and kicked Liam so hard making him let loose from Racheal.

Rachel still lost equilibrium and fell, well maybe that served her right. I mean she's the genesis of all this. This girl is just too stubborn.

Liam  fell so hard on the tiled floor and winced but do I give a damn?!

He glared at me but word obviously stuck in his mouth as he  finally noticed clarrisa trauma.

"Clarrisa!!" The moron yelled and was rushing towards clarrisa but he got blocked by Jayden.

"Stay back" Jayden glared at him and pushed him off.

Finally, clarrisa slowly jolts back to reality and she was panting heavily. She finally let Antonio touch her even though she flinched a bit.

"Clarrissa what happened? Are you... are you okay?"

"I...I..." she was saying but Antonio cut her off by pulling her into a hug.

"Don't worry baby. You'll be alright. You'll be fine" he says while caressing her hair.

However, even though clarrisa haven't completely calm down, Antonio instructed me and Jayden to take care of her while he personally handles Liam and Racheal.

While he walked Racheal and the other moron who grudgingly followed him down, we took clarrisa up to her room. I personally, cuddling her.

Jayden wasn't so Good with kids, he never had so I did my hardest to calm clarrisa  down while Jayden just stuck around.

Well his little brain latter helped him figure out something he could do. He surprisingly made a glass of cold milk and gave it to clarrisa  while she was curling up on the bed.

"Wanna tell us what happened back there at the living room? The sudden trauma?!" Jayden asked her.

I past him a strict look that spelt 'seriously not now Jayden'. He just sighed and told clarrisa not to bother, perharps she was already tensed up.

"I want to go..." clarrissa muffler as we were just about to leave her room. Stopping at our tracks, I and Jayden passed ourselves as look before going back to clarrissa  bed. 

"What did you say?" I asked way too soft.

"I want to leave." She elaborated this time.

"I'm sorry clarrissa but We can't let..." Jayden was sounding a bit harsher so I have to cut him off.

"Clarrisa where exactly would you go if assuming we decided to let you leave?!" Not like we'll ever let her go though. I mean that isn't even an option. We've too much enemies, we can't just let her off our supervision like that.

"I want to go see my mother. I...I mean my adopted mother.  I want to know how she's faring right now. I miss her so much and I'm really really worried about her." She said with a tiny voice. "You are not going to deprive me of that right?"

Really, I didn't see that coming.

"Don't worry clarrisa we will help check your mother for you and make sure she's alright." Jayden said.

"No! I want to do it myself. I want to see her myself" she suddenly snapped. "I swear I will run away if you don't let me go."

In as much as that may be a childish threat but it still got to me, I don't even want to imagine my sister leaving. Hell I won't be able to take it. Not knowing what exactly to say I just stared at her muted. Jayden only sighed and told her to have a bed rest.

We decided to prolong our stay with her the room as she keeps pressing to leave. I mean we can't even risk the slightest chance for her to escape, if we will have to guard her every nano seconds then I'm up for it.

My baby sisters are  my gem.