XVI-Strangers again

17th Day

JOHN

*Cellphone ringing*

Nagising ako dahil sa sobrang ingay ng phone ko kaya agad ko itong inabot habang dahan dahang dinidilat ang aking mga mata. Nung maabot ko na ito agad kong chineck yung phone, it was just an alarm at may reminder na ngayon na ang flight ko pabalik ng Philippines. Ngumiti ako sabay nilingon ko si Evan at akmang babati na sana ng biglang.

"Good m-"

Naputol yung pag bati ko ng malamang wala sya sa gilid ko, napabangon ako at agad ko syang hinanap, sa banyo sa balcony, sa pool and even tumawag narin ako sa Front desk. At nagulat nalang ako nang malamang maaga pala syang umalis.

Wala akong ibang nasabi sa Front desk kundi thank you, sabay binaba ko na ang telepono at dismayadong napa upo sa bed. He didn't even bother to say goodbye..

Napatawa ako nang pilit.

Sino ba naman ako diba? I'm just no other than a fuckbuddy to him I guess.

Suddenly I felt alone and empty again, kaya agad akong tumayo at nag tungo sa banyo para maligo. While soaking myself with the water, I was crying pero this time humagolgol na ako.

I was wrong! I made a mistake again! I shouldn't have let myself from falling for him!! Umiyak ako hinayaan ko nalang sarili kong umiyak sa lungkot.

Nang matapos akong maligo agad akong humarap sa salamin at nang makita ko ang sarili kong punong puno ng kissmark na gawa ni Evan, naalala ko tuloy yung mga araw na kasama ko sya.

Yung mga memories namin together. I was about to cry pero pinigilan ko ang sarili ko nagmamadaling lumabas ng banyo at nag bihis na. Before finally leaving the room nag punta ako sa Balcony at nagulat ako ng makita kong naka upo pala si Evohn sa isang upuan. Napangiti ako sabay nag timpla ako ng tsaa at umupo ako kaharap nya.

"You saw him leave, did you Evohn?" Tanong ko sa walang kabuhay buhay na teddy bear ng naiiyak.

"How lucky you are, because you got to see him leave" ngumiti ulit ako bago tuluyang pumatak ang luha ko.

"I never got to say goodbye to him, I was planning on giving him a good bye kiss before sya umalis. Pero na overslept ako" natatawa kong sabi habang pinapahid ko yung luha ko.

"So I guess it's just us now, Evohn you got to stay with mommy" sabi ko and took a sip of my tea, suddenly may kumatok na sa pinto ng room at may pumasok na hotel staff na lalake.

Kaya agad akong tumayo at tinuro yung luggage ko. I took a last sip of my Tea bago tuluyang sumunod sa hotel staff na lumalabas na ng room.

I planned on leaving early kasi the longer I'll stay the more lonely I feel.

While waiting for the elevator, I was hoping na pag bumukas ito makikita kong lumabas si Evan at sasalubongin ako ng Hug. Pero nabigo ako, nung bumukas ang elevator empty ito walang tao kay nadismaya ako.

I just can't accept the fact na umalis sya without saying goodbye.

Sabay kaming pumasok ng hotel staff sa elevator bitbit nya ang aking luggage na nasa cart na tinutulak nya.

Pagbaba ko ng hotel nag check out na ako at lumabas na ng hotel sakto pag labas ko nag aantay na si Francesco sakin at agad tinulungan ang hotel staff sa pag lagay ng luggage ko sa likod ng sasakyan. Sumakay narin ako at tiningnan ulit ang hotel one last time, this hotel, I will always remember this place...

Ngumiti ako at kasabay nun ay pumasok na si Francesco sa sasakyan at nagsimula nang mag drive.

EVAN

Maaga akong nagising at maaga din akong nag check out sa hotel. I didn't bother to wake up John since mahimbing syang natutulog, pagod ata dahil sa ginawa namin kahapon. Before I exited the room I landed a kiss on his forehead and as well as sa Lips nya pero di sya nagising.

Napangiti ako sabay sinabi ko rin sa kanya na mahal na mahal ko rin sya.

But I just don't think it's the right time for us to start a relationship, dahil galing sya heartbreak and he needs to settle things up with his husband.

This moment nasa beach ako, yung beach na pinuntahan namin ni John. Naka upo ako sa may shore habang trying to reminisce all the memories we created together. Napangiti ako sa naisip ko but suddenly nakaramdam ako ng kakaiba, I feel something is off di ako mapakali.

While staring at the bracelet he gave me naalala ko tuloy si John.

Kinuha ko phone ko at pinicturan ang view, sabay pinost ko ito sa insta atleast para makita nya.

I love him, so much to the point na pati ako naguguluhan kung babalikan ko ba sya sa hotel. I want to say sorry to him, and I want to kiss him and hug him so bad. Gusto kong umiyak sa piling nya and tell him I don't want to lose him just like that.

Suddenly I realized, if I wanted to do that then I should head back to the hotel and do the things I want with him.

Agad akong tumayo at nag tungo sa driver na kanina pa nag aantay sakin.

"Can we go back to the hotel sir? I left something very important in there" sabi ko sa kanya at tumango lang sya kaya agad kaming sumakay at pinaandar ang sasakyan.

Medyo malapit lang naman yung beach sa hotel at mabilis naman magpatakbo yung driver kaya siguro maaabutan ko pa si John. I was about to send him a message on Instagram pero nung ni search ko na yung pangalan nya, di ko na makita. I tried to call him pero di macontact kaya nag alala ako. Kailangan ko syang maabotan and explain everything to him, and tell him how much I love him.

I think I'm having anxiety attack, nag fifidget ako, di ako mapakali kinakabahan baka di ko na sya maabotan.

As soon as nakarating ako ng hotel agad akong nag tungo sa front desk at tinanong kung nakapag check out naba si John at dismaya ako nung nalaman kong kanina pa pala sya umalis.

But yung babae inabot sakin ang Key card and she told me na wala pa silang ginalaw dun sa kwarto. I smiled at her at tinanggap ang key card sabay nag tungo ako ng elevator at umakyat sa taas.

Pagdating ko ng room namin, halatang di pa pinuntahan ng house keeper. But something caught my attention sa balcony kaya agad akong lumapit dito at nakita si Evohn. Naiwan nya ata si Evohn.

Napatingin din ako sa mesa may papel na naka ipit sa Tea cup na ginamit ni John. Agad ko itong kinuha at nalamang letter pala ito galing sa kanya.

Dear Evan,

I know this may sound cringe and corny, but I left this letter for you. I was hoping you'll come back and if you're reading this, then congratulations you made it back here. Anyway I wrote this letter to let you know that I love you so much, and I don't want to love someone else except you. You know, honestly last night I'm sorry if I confessed to you out of the blue. I just can't help it, I just feel like you deserve to know what I truly feel for you, and of course I was expecting for you to say the same thing but what you said truly hurt my feelings but it's fine, seventeen days a bit too short for you to get to know me and love me right? Hahahahaha! Love doesn't work that way though.

I will really miss you, Evan and even though we won't be seeing each other for months or maybe years, but I do still hope that one day we'll be able to meet again and validate each other's feelings. I know you like me, and that's the only thing I know. I know that you're hurt about what Hanz messaged me about but I want you to know that I tried everything I could to finally break our relationship apart, and you know the reason why.

I know how selfish this may sound but, please don't be inlove with someone else. Whenever I finish settling things with Hanz, I'll come and find you. Until next time, my Knight in Shining Armor I Love You take care and Goodbye.

Love, John

Napangiti ako nung mabasa ko yun, but at the same time naiyak din ako kasi walang assurance na mag kikita pa kami eh. Maybe He'll change his mind diba? And maybe Hanz will change at babawi sa kanya.

Ni fold ko yung letter at nilagay sa bulsa ng suot kong coat.

"Evohn dear, You'll be staying with your Dad and you know that's me because your Mom forgot to bring you with him" Kinuha ko si Evohn at binitbit.

"At least I got you, Evohn" sabi ko at niyakap ko sya

"Let's both wish that your Mom will soon find us both " dagdag ko

Dear John,

Wherever you are right now, I hope you'll take care of yourself. I hope you'll finally quit smoking and drinking, and I hope you'll finally be mentally stable. I also hope Hanz won't give you a hard time. And also I want you to know That I Love You so much more than you do, like what I had told you You were the best thing ever happened to me, and I will always remember that.

I'll wait for the day that we meet again, and I'll wait for your return and I promise you that you will always be in my heart and I will never ever replace you because I could never do that.

Love, Evan

Bulong ko sa isipan ko habang naka masid ako sa Lake. Hanggang sa muli aking mahal.