Special Chapter

JOHN

Nakahiga lang ako sa bed staring at the ceiling thinking, what should I do? Or what should I say to Evan kung magkita kami ulit? Should I say Hi?

Fuck!

Napabangon ako sa pagakaka higa at kinuha ang aking phone mula sa bedside table ko. Pag open ko nito agad kong binuksan ang Instagram, for this past months di na ako nag open ng Instagram I don't know pero gusto ko kasi mag take a break from everything. Agad kong inunblock si Evan at nang magawa ko yun nagdadalawang isip akong mag send ng message sa kanya.

Ayaw kong mag first move, ang desperada ko nang pakinggan nyan. He left without saying anything anyway kaya bahala din sya.

Pinatay ko na ang aking phone at huminga ng malalim.

Will I be able to find him?

Tumayo nalang ako at nag simula ng mag impake, officially divorce na kami ni Hanz so wala nang rason para manatili ako dito. As I packed my things galing sa cabinet namin, may nakita akong album kaya kinuha ko ito at tiningnan. Nagulat ako ng makita to, pictures pala namin ni Evan to sa Italy at ginawang album ni Hanz. Suddenly may nahulog na piece of paper kaya pinulot ko ito at binuksan kaya halos mapatawa ako.

I never knew na may ganitong side si Hanz, may pa letter pang nalalaman well sabagay ako din naman kay Evan.

Dearest John,

Kung nababasa mo na to well congrats nahanap mo tong album na tinatago ko. I kept this pictures for you at ginawa kong album. Nakangiti ka kasi sa lahat ng pictures na to kasama si Evan. And all I ever wanted was to see you smile kasama ako, pero I guess someone better than me can do that for you. I'm happy for you John, really and I wish it was me who can make you smile like that, pero reality hits me.

Honestly John, I'm glad you found your happiness it may not be me but at least you got someone who can make you happy. I love you more than you know, and I'm very sorry we have to end our relationship just like that but if that makes you feel free and happy at the same time I'll be glad to do it for you, and I did.

Thank you for being with me for how many years, and thank you for understanding and loving me although I'm being an Idiot and stupid and selfish. I am sorry for hurting you so much, I really do. I know you can't just accept my apology for now, and I understand that I'll wait until you can finally forgive me.

Be happy John, I love you and I will always do..

Love, Hanz

Napangiti ako nung mabasa ko yun, pero diko rin mapigilan ang mapaluha. If this is what it takes to be free, then I'm sorry too Hanz. I loved you before as my husband but now I love you as a friend. I will never forget your kindness since then, and I will try my best to forget what happened between us. I've seen you at your best and also at your worst, but still thank you so much.

SAMUEL

Matapos nung araw na umalis na si sir John ng condong tintirahan nila ni sir Hanz-zam, nag simula narin akong mag aral, nag resign ako sa trabaho at tinuloy ko ang aking pag aaral.

Thanks to sir John at kay sir Hanz-zam dahil sa binigay nila sakin. Dahil sa wakas makakapag aral ako ulit, dahil sa kanila may natanggap akong scholarship sa isang pribadong onibersidad dito sa bansa.

Sobrang saya ko sobra, dahil sa wakas matutupad na ang pangarap kong maging isang Businessman.

Today is my first and half month of studying, nag enroll kasi ako nung October. Anyways abala ako sa pakikinig sa professor namin sa major subject, nag tatake notes, at finofollow ko every words ng professor namin trying to sink in every lesson he taught.

Suddenly may naramdaman akong kumilabit sakin sa balikat kaya napatingin ako dito pag lingon ko isang lalakeng matamis na nakangiti sakin ang sumalubong sa mata ko.

Matamis as in matamis na ngiti pero di yung nakikita ang ngipin.

Napaturo ako sa kanya gamit ang ballpen ko with a puzzled look on my face, as if trying to think kong kilala ko ba sya.

Medyo pamilyar sakin ang kanyang itsura kaya napaisip ako..

Suddenly nag paalam na ang prof namin at nag si tayuan na lahat kaya tumayo narin ako at niligpit na ang gamit ko. Pero lumapit sakin ang pamilyar na lalake at bumati sakin.

"Hi" bati nya with a smile kaya gumanti narin ako.

"Hello" at nginitian ko din sya.

"You're Samuel diba?" Tanong nya sakin sabay turo sakin.

"Ahh oo, ikaw?" Tanong ko sa kanya na may halong pagtataka.

"Ahh you must've forgotten me already, it's me Rocco yung kaibigan mo way back in highschool dun sa probinsya?" Sabi nya habang tinuturo sarili nya.

Napaisip ako ng malalim, teka, wait!

"Rocco yung kanong transferee namin dati sa Class E? Yung kaibigan ko na naging-" napahinto ako sa aking pagsasalita ng maalala ko yung isa sa mga pinaka ayaw kong maalala.

I can tell na nag aantay syang mag salita ako ulit base on his expression kaya agad kong pinutol ang awkward moment naming dalawa.

"Ahmm nevermind, Rocco ikaw na pala yan? Wow ang tangkad mo na ah tas pumopogi ka na lalo" pabiro kong sabi sa kanya kaya napatawa sya, nagsimula na kaming maglakad para mag tungo sa next class namin.

"Yeah thanks, I never thought I'd see you here" sabi nya.

"Diko nga rin inakala eh, akala ko nasa London kana kala ko rin nag tapos kana nang pag aaral"

"Well things seems a bit tight, you know after we graduate nung highschool? You know my dad kung gaano sya kahigpit sakin before, kaya nag rebelde ako. Naka ilang attempt na nila akong pinag aral but they failed kasi lagi akong nag dadrop out" natatawa nyang sabi.

"So don't tell me na first year ka rin gaya ko?"

Umiling sya

"Nope, actually this is my second year of college and I was about to drop out again but I changed my mind" sabi nya at kinindatan ako.

Napahinto kami pareho sa paglalakad at natatawa na may halong kilig akong napatingin sa kanya.

"You still haven't changed a bit, Rocco" sabi ko sabay abot ng kamay ko sa kanya at masaya nya naman itong tinanggap at nag shake hands kami pareho.

"I'm glad I see you again, Rocco it's been a while" sabi ko as we both shake our hands together.

"I know, and I've been waiting for such a long time" sabi nya at hinalikan ang kamay ko kaya napangiti ako.

Rocco was my best friend way back in highschool, and turned out to be my boyfriend pero tinago namin yun. And both of us ended our relationship without a proper break up. Parang nagkalimutan lang kami pareho dahil sa both families namin. His parents decided to move toManila para sa business ng mga magulang nya as well as pati yung pag aaral nya.

At ako naman I've decided to work para may pang gamot ako sa sakit ng tatay ko, akala ko nga mag kikita kami pero ni minsan wala talaga, never nangyari.

"Sam, about what happened between us—I want to-" bago pa sya makapag tapos ng kanyang sasabihin ay sinapawan ko na agad sya.

"Rocco, it's in the past now wala na tayong magagawa dun nangyari na eh. Besides masyado pa tayong bata nung mga panahon na yun. And also I want to start over" sabi ko kaya napangiti sya.

Hinawakan ko sya sa mukha ng marahan sabay sabi.

"I've been waiting for you too, Rocco" sabi ko at ngumiti sa kanya.