Not again

And it got even more real. 

I quickly dismounted my bed and rushed to the window.  Through it, I could see the difference. It was in the day's scent too. Unconsciously, my hands had reached up to my head grabbing both sides. I felt my mind blow. 

Knock-knock.

Startled, I immediately made a turn towards the door. 

'Who could it be? The old lady?'

For some reason, I began to panic. The knocks went on and as I tried to get to it, my trembling feet wouldn't carry me. 

"Ann?" 

That voice from behind the door calling out to me only sent shivers down my spine. I knew that voice too well, and then it all occurred to me that if indeed I had somehow gone back in time, then he had too. 

"Dad?" I voiced in disbelief. As much as I knew all of it was crazy, a huge part of me wanted it to be real. For him to walk through that door. I had missed everything about him. From the way he loved me to the way he showed it. There I stood, waiting. My fingers shivering, my heart was racing, and my eyes trying their best to hold back the waters from flowing. 

The door creaked open.

"Are you okay, love?" His first words once he stepped in. 

There he was, all dressed up for work in his brown suit, solid white shirt and neatly polished brown shoes to go with it. His hair – was never untidy and he was wearing an olive green tie. I got it for him on father's day. With so many emotions filling me up at that moment, I then remembered that he would never leave without a warm hug and a kiss on my forehead and I could only stare at him. I knew my eyes would betray me any second from now.

"Is anything the matter?" He said again, taking a step closer. I could see it in his face, he was worried. Before he could take another step I had to stop him.

"No," I said, "just don't move. I want to look at you." I added. My voice was unclear at this point as I wiped a tear from my right eye. 

"Oh, I guess I impressed you today." He said, taking a pose. 

It made me laugh and then smile till the tears came rushing out and my feet could only take me to him so quickly. I hugged him so tight.  

"I missed you," I whispered.

I couldn't explain things to him even though I badly wanted to. After breakfast, I watched him leave. I embraced him for longer afterwards once it was time for him to go. He never liked to be late for work.

I felt grateful. Lucky, good. Whatever it was that old lady did, it gave me this opportunity. The chance to do right all I did wrong. 

My Dad was always the sweetest. The love he showed me, even mom got jealous. When she passed, he didn't drift. Instead, he got even closer but I felt choked up. I blamed him for her death. He should have picked her up when she called him to but he would rather choose his work and had a driver go get her. The accident could have been avoided. She could still be alive. I hated him for it but as I grew, I only preferred avoiding his path, I thought it was more mature that way. I was wrong.

"The illness"  I immediately voiced as my eyes flickered. I withdrew from the window and hurried back to my room. Needed to confirm I was well and okay even though it felt so. 

I wasted no time. I was done and ready to leave. I wasn't looking my best but it was the least of my worries. I pulled the doorknob and met with someone. 

"Claire."  I aired.

She embraced me with a smile and stepped in uninvited. I had no choice. I shut the door. She had taken a seat on the couch and now dropped her purse beside her.

"What? You look like you've seen a ghost." She said to me in her typical British accent,

"Is it so glaring?" I inquired. She paused and then kept on staring at me.

"Are you okay?" She asked me. 

"Know what? No. No, I am not okay. I need to tell you something and I know this may sound insane but I need you to believe me." I told her.

"Okay okay.." She said, "just sit and talk to me. You are shaken up." She added.

I sat next to her.

"I think I might have time travelled," I said, 

Silence filled the room. She was looking at me but wasn't saying anything.

"Yes. You were right. That sounds insane." She finally said, 

"I'm not messing with you," I said, 

"I know. It's just– we've been friends for long and– I am only getting to realise alcohol isn't good for you. I am so sorry, I should never have made you have all that mixture last night.``  she said, placing her hand over mine.

" Wait, what? No. Not that." I sprung up at once. "How do I make you believe what I say is true? You just–" a thought came to mind, she watched me with scrutinising eyes.

"Tell me, what is today?" I asked her.

"The–31st of April." She replied to me talking from the ends of her mouth.

"Good. What if I told you exactly what happens tomorrow right now?" I asked her.

"Well, that would be scary–" She replied.

–"Just play along for f*ck sake." I said, 

"Fine fine, jeez." She responded.

"Thank you." I said, "I am going to start with today." I added.

"I am all ears." She told me.

"Okay. At exactly 2 pm today, you have a date with a guy named Bryan, you do not want me to know because you aren't so confident about it working yet"  I told her.

I saw her blue eyes get even bigger. She had become uneasy so quickly.

"How did you–"  she said, 

"You intend to tell me about Chris–your only brother over coffee and biscuits at our favourite spot which is why you are here early enough because you want to match us up and he will be moving here tomorrow morning with his flight being scheduled for 8 a.m.  '' I added. 

She slowly got up looking scared. 

" How do you know all these? I never even said anything yet?" She said taking two steps backwards.

"I could tell you what happens tomorrow," I told her.

"No. Just stop. This isn't making sense. None of this is making sense." She turned away in confusion.

"It's exactly what I have been trying to tell you. I travelled back in time." I said to her,

"But how is that even possible?" She turned swiftly towards me.

"How? Is even more insane." I replied to her question.

"Well, you are going to have to tell me everything. If you are going to drive me crazy, you best do it right." She said, peering into my eyes as she moved closer.

"Sometime next month I will open up to you about something no one knows of. So I will tell you now what that is." I said to her, taking my seat on the couch.

"I was diagnosed with lung cancer." I struggled to say. She sat beside me at once.

"I made the doctor and Dad believe I was doing well with the meds. I seemed fine to everyone. I never took the pills and wouldn't go for surgery or check-ups. But eventually, you found out. You stumbled on the reports I didn't pay attention to. Didn't even open them. You made me go see the family doctor." I narrated.

"And…?" She sounded concerned now.

"He dropped the bomb on me that I had gotten worse and only had a few weeks to live," I said, avoiding eye contact.

"Oh my God. " she voiced, placing her hands over her mouth.

I scoffed.

"Funny thing is. This happened yesterday or should I say the day before? At midnight, this old lady came into my room at the hospital, she said some strange things, said she could heal me, and grant me my wish of not wanting to die. This is the last thing I remembered, and I woke up today." I said, 

"My mind is going to explode." Claire got up.

"Chris..and I became lovers," I said with a smile.

"Wow." She voiced.

"Yes. I didn't want to lose him. He was just so great at loving me. I couldn't imagine my life without him. I had to take up the old lady's offer and I woke up in the past. This is an opportunity." I said, springing up on my feet as well. I was excited.

"Well, if you are in a time before you both ever became a thing, that means even as of now you can't reach out to him. You would just have to wait for things to work with time." She told me.

I hadn't thought about it that way but now that she said it, 'could I wait?'

"I guess you're right," I said, taking my seat.

"Of course I am. And all of this is so impossible. I thought it only happened in the movies. And this old lady, how could you ever reach out to her to undo things if things ever went south?" She asked.

"Oh, Claire, always sceptical. You shouldn't worry. I was actually on my way to the hospital to confirm that the illness is gone because I feel fine. I am fine. My dad is alive and tomorrow Chris will come." I said joyfully.

"I am not worried. Only concerned. If you had this illness all the while, how come you come back to the past without it? And then–" she said, 

–" Dad." I muttered, getting up almost immediately.

" It's the 31st of April, The day he dies," I said, 

So much fear filled my heart at that instant. I reached for my phone from my purse and began dialling his number. He wasn't picking. 

Claire and I dashed out, she had come in her car and so she did the driving. We headed for his office. 

'How could I have forgotten? How could I have been carried away? I cannot lose him. Not again.'