Comfort Zone

The comfort zone is where dreams go to die. It's where happiness slowly disappears. Even the things that once made you feel good don't feel as good as they used to because you feel it far too often.

A cold glass of cola tastes so much better when you're not drinking it too often.

Laying back on your bed feels so much more relaxing after you've been pumping iron at the gym for hours.

Comfort just makes you feel pathetic and immobile. It prevents you from making progress. And it traps you after a while. If you don't escape early; you forget that you're trapped. The prison of lost dreams becomes your home.

If you find yourself caught up in your thoughts, constantly. And the dilemma of whether or not you should clean your carpets today or tomorrow is a frequent battle in your mind, then that means you live in the comfort zone. You don't wish to tackle real problems which would actually contribute to an improved state of mind, but rather you choose to obsess over the minutia because it's all you feel you are capable of.

It's the only thing you feel you have control over.

I may not be reaching my career dreams or hitting my financial aspirations, but hey! At least my apartment is clean. I can scrub that toilet real good. I can wipe the kitchen counter over and over again. Look at my bathtub, it's shining! My sink is cleaner than anybody else's.

I love the smell of cleaning products. It makes me feel as if my life is in order. Everything looks neat and tidy.

Now, if only I could clean up the mess which take place within my heart and mind as well as those which can only be tackled by leaving my sanctuary/prison.

Sometimes even cleaning feels like too much. That's when I feel like a hopeless loser. Sometimes the defeatist attitude in my mind is so strong it feels as if not achieving is the only aspiration I can have. I can only maintain my minimalist life of laziness and underachievement. Anything more is not sustainable. I don't have the discipline to sustain my ambitions. It remains as a thought, a hope and at times a bully in my mind which taunts me.

Oh, well! Off like a herd of turtles, I guess. I am making progress like a herd of turtles. Except I'm that one turtle in the back that's slowing everybody else down so I've chosen to let them all pass and make my journey alone.

It's less embarrassing this way.

I don't have to hear the others encouraging or chastising me only for it to fall on deaf ears because I refuse to move faster.

It makes me feel like shit when someone else is willing to motivate me more than myself.

When they want me to succeed more than I do.

It just makes me want to disappear...back into my comfort zone.