Chapter 4: Cleopatra

What I saw this afternoon can't get out of my head, I have been thinking of it since I finished packing my stuffs inside the hostel, my uncle was against me coming here to live, I was very stubborn enough that he just decided to let me go but he still managed to create a whole room in this hostel for me, he thinks it isn't safe to live with roommates.

I know he is thinking of what's best for me but I want to live my life like other students, I want to live like them, I don't like the special treatment that he has decided to give me but I think I should just stay quiet for now, if I stay here for sometime, then I will decide who I wish to stay here with me, I feel like I can see my father with just looking at Damon, both of them looks alike.

He told me his name was Damon after I told him my name when he was helping me to pack my stuffs, I can't just tell how I felt when he was there with me, we wasn't having much conversation but I didn't felt like I want him to go that particular moment, I wanted him to stay more with me but i can't just request that from him because we have nothing in common, I was looking at him through out the moment he was helping me.

My father was a gentle soul but you can't mess with him because he is also serious when the situation calls for it, he wasn't a comedian, a type that will always make you laugh and happy but he is the type that will always keeps your mind fresh, the type that will always make you to always remember that you are in a world that you are not going to live in forever, I think I really saw something when Damon was going away from him, I thought I Saw his eyes shining with a Blue color but when I asked him to wait and he turned to me, I realized that it was just a mistake, I wish to get to know him more, I have a feeling that we are going to be great friends in the future.

I wonder where everyone was going, not everyone but most of the students, it seems like they are going out for a party, that's something I really need right now, I have nothing to do at the hostel right now, I need something to boost my mood, because I am feeling very lonely at the hostel right now but not to be compared to the loneliness I felt when I lived at home with my uncle and his wife.

They tried to make me happy, I really understand them, they wants me to feel comfortable with them, to feel at home but that seems like it wasn't their role to play, they wasn't the one to bring happiness and laughter to my life, it wasn't an easy decision leaving them but I have to, I feel like I will find happiness living by myself, they allow me to do anything I want but I still don't feel relaxed with them around, that's what pushed me to find my way out from them for the mean time.

I can always go and visit them whenever I feel like and my uncle been the person in charge of this school can still make it a bit easier for me to have an encounter with him, I really need space and if I go to this party, I can happy come back to the hostel with few new friends who will be happy to get along with me, I don't know where the party is being held and I don't know how to ask the girls around about the location, I don't always start a conversation because I find it very hard to do, I am very fun to be with but it's if only you will be the one to start the conversation.

I know the person I should ask, at least we have spoken with each other before and I think we can have another good conversation again, I went downstairs to the hostel level of the guys, few people might know me because we might be course mates but I believe that none of them knows any other thing about me because after lectures, I disappear from there midst, whenever the lectures are over, I usually head back home, not that I don't wish to stay with them but I have nothing to talk about with them.

They might decide to strike up a conversation between us but I feel like I am not ready yet to be with people, I might be something like an introvert to people who doesn't know me but I am an extrovert whenever I feel comfortable around you, as I was going down through the hall way, most of the guys were looking at me, they might be thinking what am I doing here, they haven't seen me here before but that's none of my concern right now, I got to Damon's room and knocked on the door.

I feel like I was hearing some laughter in there, like they was joking and having fun in there, I decided to knock on the door again Incase they didn't heard the first knock, I knocked on the door again before someone opened the door, he was wearing a laughter on his face, maybe he was expecting it to be someone he has invited because he opened the door wearing only his underwear, he closed the door immediately he saw me, oh shit, I might have been in the wrong door, that's what I thought right now, I wanted to get away from there with most guys around still looking at me, I was about to go away from there when I heard my name behind me.

I turned around to see if it was Damon calling me but saw it was the same guy I saw, he was hiding behind the door because he wore nothing apart from his underwear, I looked back but didn't stop to wait for him, I am in the guys hostel and now one of them is calling me when he was still half naked, I don't believe that I decided not to ask the girls living around me about the location of the party ground but decided to come to the guys hostel just to ask him this, maybe I am not really here to ask him that question, maybe I was here just to see him because I felt like seeing him right now.

He called my name again but I didn't stop, instead I made a run out of there this time so he won't get the chance to call me again, I felt shy right now because of all the attentions I am getting from this guys around this time, if it's because of my beauty.

I know that I always got attentions every where I pass through but I don't think this guys are looking at me right now because of my beauty, maybe they are surprised to see a girl here at the boys hostel or not, I ran up the stairs to my room, I opened my door and went inside locking the door from inside, I am very embarrassed at myself right now, how did a girl like me get to gather much courage like this and go to a guys room.

What's so important that made me to go there, nobody would believe that I just went there to ask for the venue of the party, even me doesn't believe it, I am in regret right now, why did I go there at the first place, there is something about we introverts, we are always staying alone but that doesn't mean that we feel alone, we just like it that way, we are always comfortable with it but there is a saying that.

Everything that has an advantage, definitely has a disadvantage", that has been part of my life, I feel safe whenever I am alone but memories are not always that good to us especially bad memories, we introverts always communicate with ourselves, we are mostly in thought all the time, always thinking of our past memories, whether good or bad, we are always reviewing what we have seen or gone through and that always makes us to stay alone because we don't like getting bad memories, you are definitely going to get one whenever you are with a human being, especially your opposite gender.

I heard a knock on my door, who might be knocking on my door by this time of the night when almost every students has gone out to party, it's definitely not my uncle, no matter how he cares for me, that wouldn't make him to come looking for me by this hour, I wonder who is at my door right now, I opened my door and saw the last person I expected to come right now, Damon.