SUNDAY THOUGHT...

Sometimes I just feel like jealous with some of my friends not really jealous actually more likely I was wanting the same thing like they had in a relationship with their partner in terms that they are not in an open relationship and I was sometimes think that I want to be able to talk about our relation and my thought freely.

I mean even though as long as I know that both of us is never pulling or using that card but I feel like I want to be able speak freely about it not just enjoying it, Because I kind of a guy who taking seriously about this kind of stuff.

And also, I am a person who notice everything but sometimes I just keep silent about it and I didn't know why. I mean I really love you though and I don't want to lose you but sometimes I just really can't do things like you said enjoy the time that we had together if we didn't know where it's going and all I want is for you to be happy even sometimes I wasn't feeling the same but seeing you happy and smiling it makes me feel I was happy even deep down not really because I keep thinking about things.

Is not because I was having some negative thought in my mind but it's all-in context that i want to be really sure about everything because that's the way I was growing up so it's already becoming my habit.

And sometimes if we having a fight or argument, I better choose to talk about it then avoid it and let it be there because it will be never finish and it's not gonna totally gone its only buried inside and will comes out eventually one day for me is better, we talk about it then we avoid it.

My point is let's talk about everything that we feel and make it easier for us to continues our life after that without worried or even think about anything maybe for you it's easy but for me is not going to be easy because that's the way my life is and I am so sorry if it's too difficult for you to adapt with it.