Chapter 10

Daddy just pulled up. The kids are happy to see Pawpaw. I have most of mine and their stuff packed. While dad is sitting and talk with the kids, I finish packing everything of of ours that we'll need. K being the navy's out and daddy grabs them and bring them to his pick up.

I tell the girls were going on a vacation to Nonnie and Pawpaws house. Trish asked if Daddy was meeting us there but I told her it was a secret trip for just us girls. That Pawpaw would be there but daddy had to stay home.

She was a little upset but daddy grabbed her up and she forgot about our conversation.

We're all in the truck and finally I breathe deeply. I didn't realize I was holding my breathe mostly. I wasn't breathing like I needed to. I'm hurt. Physically, it feels like I am dying. Everything hurts. Emotionally, I could end my life if it wasn't for my babies. I will never leave them. As long as I'm alive, they will be with me and know how much I love them.

How could he? Why would he? Am I just unattractive? I mean, I know I've gained weight after three kids and my breast aren't up and perky anymore. But I still think I'm attractive.

He promised.

Mama and daddy live about 45 minutes from our house

I forgot to text Tristen the address so I sent him

a quick message with the physical address so he can check it out.

I notice Trenton hasn't read my message yet.

I decide to turn my phone off and just sit in silence.

Once at mama and daddy's house, my parents get the kids out while I'm getting the bags. Mama hugged me and told me to go in and lay down that they would tend to them babies. I almost broke whole hugging mama. I almost let myself fully feel everything. But I didn't. I shook my head and blinked away the tears before they could fully form. I smiled at my babies and went inside to my old room and laid down.