Chapter 3

The day had finally arrived after dreading it for what felt like forever—my mother's funeral ceremony. Today, the whole empire is going to come together to grieve for their beloved Empress who was long gone now...the Empress who will only stay in the history of the empire and in the peoples hearts. After a whole two weeks, I have to appear in front of everyone with Isaiah and father…we haven't even fully grieved over my mothers death and everything is happening so quickly. These two weeks were very devastating as I watched my father get into this state where he doesn't do much, other than sit in mothers garden just like he did whenever mother would garden but instead of a smile on my fathers face, there were only strikes of tears. On the other hand, Isaiah was starting to feel the empty presence of a mother figure…I guess that's where I come in; I started to look after Isaiah and been reassuring him that I'm always there for him. Comforting him while he cries himself to sleep…silently crying along with him; no matter how strong I tried to act, my facade would break when seeing him cry. The only thing I could do was comfort him and hug him while he slept in pain. Then there was me…I could lie and say I'm holding everything together perfectly but that's not the truth though that's exactly what I'm showing to everyone—a false facade.

My injuries have been getting better but my fear for men is still rooted in me. Due to this, only female maids work in the left quarter of the palace and no male is allowed to be anywhere near where I reside. The only male presence I can have is of my brother, Isaiah, and father. The female Head Priest had explained that it is because I knew them the most and since I grew up with them which is why I'm comfortable in their presence whereas with unfamiliar men, I become immensely uncomfortable, causing me to have panic attacks and have flashbacks of the incident. I feel like I'm trapped in this bubble…suffocating in it with my broken presence. The only thing that is keeping me going is my brother and Tulip; I spend mostly my whole day with Isaiah as we take our lessons together now and Tulip has been accompanying me everywhere. There hasn't been one second gone without Tulip comforting me—he's there for me when I'm secretly crying in my room, just laying there next to me, silently comforting me with his existence. I would've been in a worse state of mind if it wasn't for Tulip, in a sense I felt as if mother was the one comforting me.

Back to the present, I was dressed in a black mid length dress which had black lace covering the bottom end of the dress with my hair done as a half up half down pull through braid, a black ribbon tying it all together. It had been 10 minutes since I've gotten ready but I couldn't bring myself to get out of my room. Just as I'm staring cluelessly at the wall, I'm brought back to consciousness when I hear the sound of the door opening.

"Sis…are you ready?" Isaiah asked with a faint smile but that soon vanished as he saw my blank face. I had no expression on my face but I didn't know how to or what to feel. I know I'm in pain and still grieving but my feelings have become a mess—a tangled mess which I can't seem to escape from or untangle.

"Yea, I'm ready….Shall we go and meet up with father?"

"Yes…but sis, are you okay?" A worried expression apparent on Isaiahs face. I didn't notice that I had ended up worrying Isaiah but with a heavy heart, I put a small smile on my face.

"I'm fine since you're here with me." We continue making our way through the hallway which led to fathers personal study room. Just few steps away from the study room, my body stopped at the sight of the knights who were guarding the outside of the room.

"Sis, why did you stop?" Again worried about me but I couldn't reply back to him…my body paralyzed in one position as the flashbacks of the incident start flooding my brain; I felt like I was experiencing everything all over again—the men assaulting me and hearing mothers screams. Just the thought made me tremble; wanting to curl up in a ball and hide from everyone. But this was not the time; right now I need to be strong for father and Isaiah.

The guards had noticed mine and Isaiahs presence, right away notifying father. All of a sudden, I feel my right hand get cold—bringing me back to reality. Isaiah had run up to father, asking over and over, that something was wrong with me. I guess there was something wrong with me and I don't know how to fix it.

Father came towards me while holding Isaiahs hand. When he got in front of me, he bent down to my level and took my hand in his hand, trying to comfort me. "Irene, is everything alright?" But I couldn't even say a word…instead trying to hide away from everyone in my fathers chest.

"Everyone leave us alone and have the carriage prepared to leave for church!" Father was thrown off guard with my sudden body movement of hiding between him and Isaiah. That's when he recalled my fear of men and had everyone dismissed, leaving us three alone in this enormous hallway which was filled with many different portraits and a big glass window, giving a clear view of the beautiful gardens that brought life to the palace even on such a sorrowful day.

"Irene, don't worry…I'm here for you and I'll protect you. I know today is going to be hard for you but just know me and Isaiah are with you so no one will be able to hurt you…just for today, come in front of everyone and say goodbye to your mother, ok?" I could see fathers eyes filling up with tears but he was holding himself strong for the sake of me and Isaiah. I slowly mumble, "Yes father…" A mournful smile plastered across my fathers face…I could tell that this request was making his heart shatter but father knew this would be the last time we'll be able to see our mother and he at least wants to give us that chance even when I was going through just as much agony…or even worse.

"Just hold mine and Isaiahs hand. We'll say our last goodbyes and give mother her favorite flower, Gardenias, and then we'll leave." As father informed us. But my head went straight to the flower Gardenia; it meant purity and sweetness. I remembered the first time mother introduced me to this flower, it was a pretty white flower surrounded by medium sized green leafs…it carried it's own beauty, just like mother.

We arrived at the church with thousands and thousands of people gathered to give their last goodbye and regards to the late Empress. I hated the sight of any man coming in my view but father would time to time squeeze my had to let me know that he's there for me—I was truly grateful to have such a father. Father greeted the whole empire, -who were gathered for today's funeral ceremony and then three of us went up to my mothers casket first. I wanted to break down and hug mother but I had to stay strong. Each of us put a gardenia in our mothers casket.

"You said we'll grow old together but here you are laying lifeless in front of me…" I looked up at father as a tear fell from his face…truly grief stricken. "Camilla, you'll always stay in my heart. I love you and farewell, my love." Father made his last confession to mother—for the very last time.

"Mother, I'll always keep you in my heart. I love you!" Isaiah said his last words to mother while crying next to me and father. I guess it's my turn now…but I have nothing to say, at the same time I have so much to say.

I couldn't get anything out of my mouth except for, "Goodbye, Mother." No tears falling down my face which made me pity myself for some reason. I had no other words to say. I could only say what I didn't get to say that day when mother sacrificed herself to save me.

Just like that, our last goodbyes were made—leaving me, Isaiah, and Father behind.

Every person in the empire came one by one and left a chrysanthemum near the casket. I saw everyone holding a chrysanthemum and grieving over mothers death while leaving the church in a carriage to head back to the Imperial Palace. It still didn't hit me yet that now it's only going to be me, Isaiah and Father in the palace…that now I was going to be living my life without mother. It seems that every happy thing has an ending at a certain point—whether it's a sad or a happy ending. But this one was particularly a sad one.

It has been a week since the ceremony and today, Duke Klaus execution takes place. There were multiple evidence collected that showed he has been causing fraud, stealing money from the people and especially the royal family, in the name of using it towards the benefits of the residents of the empire which was all a lie. And lastly, charged with the kidnapping of Princess Irene and The Empress which includes the abuse and assault done on the Princess and Empress. Most importantly, the murder of the Empress. Duke Klaus is going to get executed in front of all the people and face his punishment even in his afterlife by going to hell. Whereas for his family, since they were found to be not involved in anything only their title was stripped of them, making them a low ranking noble. Hence, the Dukes motive behind everything is still left unknown…but I assume this is the end of this horrible incident.

It gave me some peace to know that the person who killed my mother has been punished but just because of someones greed, broke our family…which is what angered me. Even when the justice has been taken place but this hatred and anger towards men will stay in me for a very very long time and no one will be able to change my mind whatsoever.