3: why now

Alex's POV:

I struggle to control my trembling body as memories of my father flood my mind. Despite my hatred for him, a small part of me still longs for his presence, holding onto the hope that he will come and meet me someday.

"Okay, so he's dead. Can I go back to training now?" I feign calmness and ask the chief, trying to conceal the mix of emotions swirling within me.

"Well, no. The main issue is that your father was still your legal guardian, and we had his signatures. But now, your legal guardians are your grandparents. You have to go and live with them, convince them to sign the papers, and then you can continue your training," the chief explains, avoiding direct eye contact. Everyone here knows that I'm capable of losing my temper, and the last time it happened, I beat up a cadet who dared to talk back to me and insulted my mother's pendant that I always wore.

"Fine. Who are they? Where are they? Why don't I know anything about them? Are they from my father's side or my mother's? How long until I can get back here? What if they don't sign the papers?" I maintain a composed posture while bombarding the chief with questions. He knows all too well that my forced calmness is a sign that I'm close to losing control.

"They live in New York, and they are from your mother's side. I don't know why you don't know about them. If they refuse to sign, you will be legally independent when you turn 18," the chief replies, offering partial answers. Each piece of information stirs up an array of emotions within me.

It hurts like hell to realize that I have family out there, relatives I didn't even know existed, who never made an effort to reach out to me. Do I possess such an unlovable nature?

"Why?" I ask, a silent tear tracing its path down my cheek.

"Why, what, Alex?" the chief responds, embracing me tightly.

"Why did he have to die, and why now when everything was finally falling into place?" My voice trembles as I seek solace in the chief's presence.

"I don't have all the answers, but what I do know is that you are strong and brave. You've overcome every challenge I've thrown your way. Whatever awaits you in New York, I know you will face it head-on. And don't worry, if things become too much, just give me a call, and I'll come to get you. We can always say it's an urgent duty," he concludes with a wink and a chuckle, trying to lighten the heavy atmosphere.

......

After arriving at the airport, I do my best to ignore the heartache and panic that threaten to overwhelm me. I've become skilled at pushing aside the pain, pretending that everything is fine. As I sit in the back seat of the car on my way to my grandparents' house, I take in the beauty of New York. The city is breathtaking, even at night.

The driver remains silent since picking me up, and I haven't uttered a word either, except for providing the approximate time it would take to reach the house. Almost an hour has passed, and I can tell by the darkness that we are nearing our destination.

I was informed that my grandparents are wealthy, but I never anticipated that they would live in a mansion. Yes, a mansion. Even in the darkness, I can perceive its vastness. Let's enter and meet them, but I can already sense that the people here won't like me. The feeling is mutual—I don't need anyone to rely on, as I did with my father, as it only led to him beating me.

Here goes nothing.

The moment I cross the threshold, an old lady envelops me in a bear hug. At first, I thought I was being attacked, but now I realize that it's just an overexcited grandma expressing her affection.

"Hello," I say awkwardly, hoping she will release me. It seems my lack of response and a simple greeting convey my message because she steps back, assessing me from head to toe.

"I'm so sorry, sweetie. I couldn't contain my excitement when I found out you were coming here," she explains with a gentle smile. While she speaks, I take a moment to observe my surroundings. Damn, this is a big family. Sixteen people are seated at the dining table, all staring at me with a mix of fondness, curiosity, and mostly disgust. However, I remain composed, raising an eyebrow in response. What intrigues me the most are the males, particularly the triplets, and the old man who I assume is my grandfather. He doesn't even spare me a glance.

After realizing my emotional detachment and blank expression, my grandma guides me to the table, initiating introductions.

"I'm your grandma, Lucy, and this is your family. Your grandpa, Jordan, and your three uncles, Fred, John, and Brandon, along with their kids. We can go into detail later. For now, sit down and have something to eat," she advises, leading me towards an empty chair among the teenagers.

As I take my seat, a girl around my age brings food for me. Nervousness gets the best of her, and she trips, accidentally spilling my dinner all over my shirt.

"I-I am sorry. I am so sorry. I didn't mean to," she stammers, her expression filled with horror. Everyone at the table stops to look at me, curious about my reaction.