Chp.12: The father and the mother

Haku ran, without looking back. He didn't know where he was going or why he was doing it. Although his instinct was warning him that by doing so he could come across some wild beast, he wasn't listening. His mind was completely elsewhere.

'I hit him... I hit my brother... I... it was me... how... how did it happen...?'

He couldn't remember why he did that. The whole thing seemed to him like a dream. He could barely recall in his memory the moment he swung his paw and struck his brother full-on, ripping off his scales and skin.

'No... impossible... it wasn't me... I would never do it... my body... moved by itself..."

It wasn't true. It had been an involuntary movement, but he had still thought about it before doing it. Haku could still feel it, the immense rage he'd felt when Rhaegal yelled those things at him. It had been as if they had lit a fire inside him, an inextinguishable fire that had taken shape in that claw.

'Yes, indeed... it was Rhaegal's fault... not mine... he provoked me... I don't... I would never...'

But even that wasn't true. Rhaegal had taunted Haku, but not enough to warrant that attack. His brother had only spoken frankly to him, telling him the things he really thought. The normal reaction to such an act would have been a witty rejoinder, a roar of anger, an insult. Certainly not stripping his brother's face. That was... that was just the action of a psychopath.

'Were... were they right? Am I really... dangerous?'

His body finally froze, stopping running. He was out of breath and his paws hurt. But despite this, his limbs continued to vibrate uncontrollably. It seemed like he was having an epileptic seizure.

Suddenly, reality began to distort. Haku's survival instinct reactivated and his heartbeat became faster and faster. Night gave way to day, and then, two wings covered the sun. A huge red dragon came down from the sky and grabbed his siblings… why were they still there? They were no longer even on the rocky plateau, but its a beach in front of a small lake...

The red dragon tore his siblings to pieces. One by one their limbs and blood fell to the ground. And then the dragon turned to him. Haku recognized him. It was his father. How was that possible… he was dead...

"What's the matter, son?" his father said teasingly. "This is what we are, after all. We are dragons. We are destroyers. What's wrong with continuing the tradition?"

"N-No... I'm not like you... I protect my brothers and sisters from danger..." Haku whispered trembling with terror, but then he realized that his muzzle and paws were covered in blood. He looked down and saw Rhaegal's lifeless body, with three deep wounds on his face...

"NOOOOO!!!"

He tried to back away, but a second dragon appeared behind him. A larger dragon, scaled blue and red, with a monstrous grin on her face. "You've already proven yourself a dragon, son" his mother said. "You've already killed both of your parents when they stood up to you. Why are you so upset that you hit your brother when he tried to stand up to you?"

"No... it wasn't the same thing..." Haku whispered putting his paws on his ears.

"Remember what I taught you, son? Dragons aren't meant to live together. You aren't meant to live with your siblings. And you know it!" her mother laughed in a cruel voice. "You never wanted a family. You just wanted a pack to lead. It made you feel strong, didn't it? Having so many minions around you, servants that you could use for your schemes or as shields in case something went wrong. They were a way to forget how fragile you are compared to the rest of this world. It's easy to feel superior when everyone around you obeys you, isn't it?"

"S-Shut up! That's not true!" Haku yelled. "That's not true... I really love them... I... I wanted to protect them... from danger..."

"But now you're the danger, aren't you?" his father laughed while he stepped forward. "There is a old saying that states that 'the best blessing for a hero is to die before he becomes a villain'. You have already crossed that line. You are no longer the hero now, you are the villain of your story. You are the danger"

"You're not the hero of your story now… but you never really were, after all" his mother continued. "You've always been selfish. You just wanted someone to boss around, someone to obey you. You wanted control over everything and everyone, and you just deluded your siblings that you really cared about them..."

"You have always taken advantage of their misfortunes in order to earn their submission" his father said. "You took advantage of Darbi when he was emotionally confused by your mother's revelation… you took advantage of your sisters when they were starving and had no choice but to rely on you… and you took advantage of Rhaegal and the others when I came, and I put you and all of them in danger..."

"Have you ever asked any of them if they would like to help you? If they would like to give you a hand?" his mother asked rhetorically. "No, no... you always waited for the moment when they were at their most mentally weak, and you took advantage of it to bring them to your side. You never considered them your equals... you always saw them as pawns on your chessboard!"

The two dragons began to speak in unison, making a deafening racket: "Accept it, son, you are a dragon! Dragons have no bonds! Dragons only have prey! You were simply too cowardly to accept it, and so you built a fantasy, a story where you could be the hero who guided your siblings to a safe place… but now you can no longer ignore your true nature! It came out perfectly, you saw it, you can't deny it! You are a destroyer! You are a killer! You are a DRAGON!"

"I'm not a dragon like you two!" Haku roared trying to bite his parents' faces, but they kicked him making him fall to the ground, laughing heartily.

"You are exactly like us! You are our son!" they said, still in unison. "You just want to control everything around you, and if you can't control it, then you destroy it! Including your siblings! Including your family! Including your blood!"

"I... I didn't let... my sisters starve... and I didn't try... to kill... my brothers..." Haku whispered struggling to get back on his feet.

"Oh, really? Then what would you have just tried to do with Rhaegal? You know what would have happened if he had tried to fight back, right?" his parents asked rhetorically. "You would have jumped on him. You would have killed him. You would have bitten his throat and ripped out his esophagus and windpipe, and you would have eaten your way up to his heart! Do you want to deny that these thoughts were in your head at the time?"

Haku was about to retort that it wasn't true, that he would never do that, but the words died in his throat as he recalled the sensations he felt in that fateful moment. The anger, the fury, the thought of having his place as leader usurped…suddenly a horrible revelation surged through his mind. His body had been ready to spring. If only Rhaegal tried to fight back... if he hit him too... if he tried to defend himself...

No... it couldn't be true... and yet... that was exactly what was going to happen...

"Can you see it now?" his parents laughed. "You would have killed him, just as you have killed all your prey from the istant you were born to this day. Because that is what your siblings are to you, nothing more than prey. We dragons eat our own kind too, after all… the only difference is that you have chosen another path to prey on your siblings"

"No... It can't be real..." Haku curled up on himself, as if he was desperately trying to disappear. But his parents bit him on the sides. They were light bites, designed just to hurt him, not kill him.

"Let us tell you how it goes, son" they said. "Rhaegal will be the first. He has usurped your place as the ultimate predator, and now you are going to take him back. You will kill him and prove to everyone else that you are the one in charge. You will have mixed feelings for him, and you will probably mourn his death for days... but in the end you will convince yourself that it was the right thing to do. Then it will be your sisters' turn. One by one, you will kill them all. Because they will disobey you, because they will try to run away from you, because they will try to kill you in your sleep... you'll always find an excuse, but you'll probably suffer a little more for them. And lastly, you'll kill Darbi; the brother you promised your protection, and who also will be the one who will suffer more than all the others combined!"

"I am a dragon... I don't break my promises... and I promised Darbi that I will protect him..." Haku whispered.

"You'll find a way to get around your oath. You're smart, after all" his parents replied. "We dragons are good at finding loopholes. For example, you might convince yourself that your brother has gone mad, and that your promise requires you to protect him from himself as well... or something like that. But either way, you'll find in one way. This is your destiny, this is your nature! You will find a way to kill them all, until you will end up alone!"

That last word triggered a reaction in Haku's body, which began to shake violently, as if an electric current were running through it. "N-No..."

"It's your fate, son. You have no choice. This is how all litters of dragons end... only one survives!" his parents continued. "Remember what that ogre told you, Sarpa? That you don't understand the true meaning of family? Well, he was absolutely right! Because we dragons don't have families. You used to call your siblings that, but in reality you just saw them as nothing more than a pack, your pack. Now, all you have to do is shift your perspective a little... and accept the way you've always thought of them... meaning your shields, your weapons, your way of imagining that you aren't weak in front of the rest of the world, your way of convincing yourself that you have something under your control, your way of not think about your fears and insecurities! And now that they've rejected this role, you can see them as nothing more than... your food supply!"

"I SAID NO!" Haku yelled as he jumped and tried to claw at his parents, but they easily dodged.

"Ha ha! Look at you, still trying to convince yourself you can boss someone!" they laughed. "Do you think we care if you don't want us to tell you these things? Does anyone care? No! You can't boss anyone around! And now it's time for you to wake up from this fantasy and act like a real dragon, like you should have do from the start!"

Haku tried to jump at them and strike them, but his teeth and claws grazed nothing but air. Suddenly his parents' bodies became liquid-like, and reality around him seemed to begin to spin, and their laughter continued to echo in all directions. Haku flattened on the ground, trying not to listen, but it seemed impossible to stop those horrible voices...

"HAKU! FOR FUCK'S SAKE, COME TO YOUR SENSES!"

Haku's eyes widened. The reality around him seemed to have returned to normal, and it was night again. And in front of his muzzle was the face of Kotaru, who watched him in fear and kept hitting him as if she tried to wake him up.