Shopping

I lay in my bed trying to forget yesterday. It has become my safe harbor from which my soul plays the back of the actions from past events. I was still pissed, I had to fetch most of my work on presumptions. I hate doing things that way because, in reality, I might have to change my course of action. Yet without flaw. I had finished the project, even if I had to spend all evening yesterday late into the night doing so.

Honestly, I didn't want to deal with the matter again. After he claimed I had called to complain about struggling. I wanted so badly to prove him wrong. With that taken care of, I could just focus on the rest of the events in my life. I needed to be ready this evening and I had everything in mind. I lay there relaxing when I heard a knocking on my door. I got up to see who it was.

"Hey, girl!" Jada came bursting through my door. I wasn't expecting her but I was glad she showed up. She would definitely take things off my mind. She walked straight for the couch and sat in my apartment like she owned the place.

"You could have given me a heads up," I said as I sat beside her.

"Please…" she paused to glance around my apartment. "If anyone was here… would you have really come to the door?" I laughed at her, realizing what she was implying.

"Nope," I shared and we giggled at each other.

"Great, any plans?" She pushed her shoulder on me.

"I'm free until seven this evening. I have a date," I blinked my eyes at her. Her face gleamed at me. She had an idea that I was dating someone. However, I hadn't gotten much of a chance to speak to her about George.

"Perfect, we can go shopping! And you can tell me more about these blue eyes of yours," she sang her sweet words to me. Instantly my eyes flickered with affection, just the thought of him made me warm.

I got ready and we left my apartment to do clothes hauling as she discussed. It was a warm sunny day and it was almost noon. Jada pretty much already had a shopping mall in mind, and she was driving us, so I didn't complain much about the distance.

"So tell me, have you guys done it already?" She bluntly asked.

"Wow, Jada. You don't want to know who I'm dating first?" I spun my face to her to see her smiling while driving.

"Ugh, the charity! Spare me. I only want the good stuff. You know that." I rolled my eyes at her and stared back into the distance.

"No, we haven't," I said. I just heard her disappointing groan.

"So what's the problem?"

"Does someone have to sleep together the first night or two, otherwise you consider them having a problem?" I chiseled at her.

"Fine," she wailed. "Well… it just kinda lets you know the person a little better," she went on to say.

"Better?" I judged her.

"Yeah… you kinda know if they are a good fit for you or not. It's like you putting aside all that fear and questions in your mind. Most of your question gets answered right there and then, like… If the person makes you feel whole or lost. Are they compassionate or just selfish?" She flaunted her words.

"Then there's that sexual chemistry…," she hummed. "If there's any, and whether they are good or not. And for heaven's sake, any man coming your way needs to be damn good," she exaggerated.

"Ugh, Jada stop! Please don't remind me," I said to her to cut off the discussion. It wasn't like she was wrong, she also knew I hated talking about the matter. I had made up my mind years ago, that my body was never built that way. The shared fact of its absence was what I had lived with, and I had wholeheartedly accepted my faith.

Sex always felt good, but not as good as how Jada made it sound all these years. I never knew what an orgasm felt like. Touching myself never worked, toys were just mere toys and no guy seemed to know how to get me past that point. At first, I thought something was wrong with me, or maybe I had a body issue, but no I was just one of those women who couldn't be aroused to that point. However, Jada simply thought, I was just not a simple girl to please.

"What does it feel like," I hesitated to ask, as I turned to her, giving her my full attention.

"What?" She flashed a look at me, and then back at the road.

"You know what I mean?" I said, "You always sound like a cat who's dying, yet you make it sound like it's the most glorious thing on this planet."

"I do not sound like a dying cat!" The shock and horror were written on her face. I couldn't help but giggle. "I don't know where to start," she continued, gripping the car wheel.

"I guess it depends on you really. It's never the same, it's like experiencing something entirely new… over again and again in every different way possible. Sometimes it's like a shock… like a surprise, or it happens accidentally… or maybe it would be scary if you don't know what's happening," she glanced at me.

"Oh, honestly. I wished it would happen accidentally or even scare the shit out of me," I grumbled as I grounded myself into her car seat.

"It could be a combination of both," she emphasized. "It's that thrill that keeps coming… like a built-up rush that keeps you wanting for more. Something you don't want to stop. Your whole body gets that warmth, and you get those tingles each time it grows. Then an ever stronger wave of pleasure eventually hits that peak. Either way… it leaves you wanting more and your body never forgets."

"Are you thinking about Johnathan and you now?" I teased her.

"Oh shut up!" She frowned at me, but I knew she was. Like she said you never forget, but all I wanted to do was forget about the conversation for something I would never experience.

We had reached the mall and the timing couldn't be more perfect. The parking lot was partly packed, and she was able to park close to the entrance, enabling us to walk back easily. The air was cool and the mall was spacious, bright, and lively. It had a huge lobby where many people could enjoy themselves. It seemed that everything was conveniently here to fit anyone's needs. I just hope Jada didn't take long, but since it was her routine mall I thought it might be a breeze.

"Come on," Jada grabbed my hand, leading me to the first floor. She went into a clothing store and we spent some time seeing new designs before she came hinting at me.

"Maybe you should wear this.. or is this not allowed?" She showed me a solid neutral color long dress with long sleeves and a big stylish zipper at the back. Instead of the cleavage at the front, it was at the back.

"For my date?" I lifted my eyebrow at her.

"No for work, silly," She suggested.

"What? That's going to show off my curves!"

"That's the point! You need to change that wardrobe of yours. If you want that man to keep his eyes on you and do more than hug you. While still looking professional," she darted her eyes at me.

"You gotta be kidding me," I asked her, still gasping at her suggestive words.

"Seriously… how did you think I caught Johnathan's attention?" She said as she handed me the dress. "Apparently you didn't, not even imagine if you did. At least try it on," she winked at me. I bite my tongue and hesitated for a moment before heading for the changing room.

When I was finished, I came out to hear Jada's squeals. I walked into the mirror and stared. It definitely hugged me, showing off my assets. It was still comfortable to move in and quite reserved at the front with its o-neck design, but at the back, it was speaking wonders with its v-neck shape.

"Now, all you have to do is let go of that hair of yours," Jada spoke beside me like she was my evil apprentice. I rolled my eyes at her. "And with the right shoe of course." She grinned. I pouted at her.

"Don't you think this a bit much?" I asked, and her expression went from sparkly to flat. "Fine!" I shuddered. "I get it.. and I'll buy it."

She gave me her triumphant smile, and before I knew she hauling other outfits that were the same toward me. All of them were somewhat modest, yet my figure was put on display. I helplessly threw them in my cart. Maybe she was right, I had been reserved. Not like I was relieving anything too much either.

She then took a few things herself before heading to the shoe store with me. We both bought a few pairs, that I was comfortable with. No way I was wearing something I couldn't manage. I thought we were both done when she came to a lingerie store and her eyes sparkled and her mouth drooled. She swirled around the store fancying herself some underwear sets.

Her eyes miraculously sat on some garter lingerie.

"So, what about tonight?" She waved them at me teasingly. I felt the heat on my face.

"Jada!" I hissed at her.

"What?! There is nothing sexier… than a woman laced up in meshed underwear all strapped up," she said.

"I think the fitted outfits, were quite obvious," I said folding my arms. She looked at me, like a hot tea pot ready to burst.

"No, honey," she walked towards me, showing the lingerie like she was doing a presentation. "Whatever dress you plan on wearing tonight is just the gift bag. Now this," She dangled it in front of me. "You laced around the present like wrapping paper."

"For heaven's sake, isn't the present good enough? What do these, have to do with it?" I crossed examined the thin fabric she was holding. "Doesn't like would last a week or two." Jada looked at me in helplessness.

"That's the point, Soraya! Who openings a package and save the wrapping paper?!" I sighed, at her point well taken.

"God, all they have to do is run on their thread mill… and they are fine," I exasperated my thoughts about men. Jada looked at me trying to hold in her inner laughter but it was short-lived.

"I know right," she chuckled. "We have to put on makeup and accessories… and then they have the audacity to ask what is taking so long." I couldn't help but share her laughter.

"Aha, then they make a mess of it after," I snickered.

"But seriously," she swings the garter linger set at me. "It might come in handy?" I groaned at her, as I took it to examine it myself.

"I have never worn these in my life. I don't even know where to begin," I complained.

"Oh stop whining like a baby. It is just like underwear, you just slip it on," I narrowed my eyes at her and her expression was completely unmoved. I felt like this was so unnecessary, but I knew Jada would just insist if I didn't have a reasonable explanation, and I didn't. I exhaled.

"Fine, I'll buy this too," admitting to my own defeat. Once I did, to my surprise I saw her pick up four more. "No, one," I commanded. She then looked at me like I was some stranger stealing her candy, and she didn't listen to me.

"Jada," I called to her in my sterned voice.

"Oh, shut up!" She said as she marched to the cashier. "I'm the one buying these for you, now stop whining." I just caved in.

After her cruel embarrassment, we went to the food court and enjoyed the variety of delicacies. Finally, it was time to take me back home. I thanked her for the wonderful day we spent at the shopping complex. She was happy to see a smile on my face.

"Now, make sure you put on that lingerie I bought you," she said as I started to exit her car. I turned to look at her in this disbelief. "No, no…" she started before I could open my mouth. "I don't want to hear about the ifs and buts. Enjoy yourself tonight, and for once relax. Maybe if you relax for once, whatever is going on between those legs of yours would do the same."

"Jada!" My mouth fell to the ground.

"I'm not lying! I don't believe any doctor or scientific fact for that matter. God made us perfect the way we are. So I don't believe some women can't get their good side on," her words melted on me. I just rolled my eyes and waved her goodbye. Why argue with this woman, when I know I would never win?

I hurried to the apartment and carried my shopping bag to my room. I had three hours to get ready before he picked me up. He hadn't told me where we were going and that part excited me. I had already decided on a dress, so I went to my closet to take it out. For a spare moment, I glance back at the shopping bag. Gosh, Jada's words haunted me.

I placed the dress on the bed and then fished one of the garter lingerie out. I groaned as I tossed it aside near the dress, and went to the bathroom to take a bath.