6- And then I go and spoil it all
Despite what my best desires were, I didn't get a single minute of sleep yesterday, and I got out of puzzles to do, so I ended up just looking at the ceiling at midnight wondering what I'm doing with my life, questioning every life decision. and asking myself, is the shampoo guy still alive? I hope so, lil fella just wanted some fun In his life you know? I can relate to it now, 8 hours of non stop silence really can make you go mad once you have experienced enough of it, and more if it is the second time back to back that this happens...
Am I cursed? is this the result of the sins of my past lifes? is Faraday irradiating some kind of sleep deprivation energy? I hope it's not the latest, I don't want to stop seeing her. she is quite cool, I like her..... wait that sounded weird, I mean it in a "wow this dude can lift an elevator full of people with one hand" kind of like. you know? her powers are really something else, I feel like I'm watching a super hero movie and I'm in the front seat interacting with the actors. this is fun. I like this job in a personal level, only because I'm having fun, and I'm ignoring the ethical, moral and human rights side of things, what I'm doing is bad, I know that, I'm working for the government for the love of god!. That's villain kind of bad on its own. On my defense they offered some good money and....
Wait...
They haven't paid me, Like at all. Not a bonus or like "hey, here, buy some chips", Not even that!.
I got so overwhelmed by things that I forgot that they were supposed to pay me for doing this in the first place. thats it, I need to talk to Alan right now!
...
...
It's 3 am in the morning... he won't answer.....
Goooood why do I need to keep remembering the important stuff when I'm in home and not at the moment? already happened twice.... I mean in my defense I have been awake 48 hours non stop. My brain is not exactly at its prime... well to be honest it has never been at its prime...
This is boring.
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9 of September
Yesterday I talked with Alan, he was really kind. I told him I felt weird whenever I was with miss cecile. he told me I was in love with her.
I have been thinking the whole night and I can't think of any other reason, I just really like being with her. even mora than when I'm with Mr Alan.
But don't get me wrong, I love being with Alan, it just that I feel way more happy with miss Cecile. She is really fun to hang out with and her face is really pretty, she almost never looks at me. Whenever we talk, she just looks at random spots on the room or looks at the floor when talking, I guess she is not used to keeping eye contact. I don't really mind when I talk to Alan. but in the rare moments where miss Cecile looks at me in the eye. My heart goes wild and my legs feel really numb. I think that is the beginning of a cardiac problem but I hope it's not and it's only me being in love with her.
It feels weird writing that I'm in love with her (๑•﹏•)
hehe.
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Right, so after spending 3 hours re making the puzzle I bought 6 years ago for the 978th time. I think I made it to the morning of next day... let me see... yep, 6 am. geez I really hate this insomnia thing.
But you know what I hate more?
NOT BEING PAID
I gather the courage to finally pick up the phone and start dialing the cursed number. Once I'm done . Only 2 beeps are heard before it stops and finally lets me reach the absolute unit himself.
-Hello? Cecile, how you doing girl?
-Bad, really bad, same as yesterday but now I remembered the quite important part where you should have paid me since day 1!
-Wait we didn't?
-No you didn't
-Oh..... my bad, I think it was because you left so soon you didn't let me get to my office to get you your money. but don't worry I can just transfer it to your bank account.
-IF I DON'T HAVE MY BILLS WHEN I- wait you will pay me?
-Yeah that is what the contract says, I genuinely forgot. I'm really sorry, I swear it won't happen again. I'll even add a bonus for the trouble. I will set the payment to automatic so even if I forget you get your money. Again I'm really sorry
- I... yeah that sounds good actually.
Thanks a lot Alan, you're really kind. Sorry for screaming
-Oh don't worry, I know it can be quite frustrating. also you sound more tired than yesterday, another night of insomnia?
-Yeah.... it's Been tough, this is day 2 of non sleep. it's quite.... rough.
Especially in the eyes
- Again, Cecile, there is no need for you to come against your will, if you wan to you can take a break, I'll pay you regardless.
- That sounds good really, but if I don't go to work for one day I feel really bad for the next months so I don't really want to skip a day you know.
-Well, up to you
-i'll go
-Fine by me, also, pass me your bank info so I can send the money.
-Oh right, my bank is...
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last time I really made it sound like I didn't want to see miss Cecile, I don't know if she will come again. I mean, she came back even when I blew her arm, so I guess she could come back from what happened yesterday. I hope she does.
-Faraday, breakfast is ready
-Yaaay, what is it today?
-How 'bout some pancakes? I made them with more butter this time, they smell fantastic if I do say so myself.
-oooooo gimme gimme
-Here, go nuts
When I see Alan's hand move I can't contain my excitement. and go running towards the walk where food comes out.
-Faraday
-What?
-I told you to stop using your powers when you don't need to. I already replaced your shirt 3 times. you can just walk towards the pancakes.
-Bu-buuut pancakeees.
-They'll stay there faraday, no need to rush dear.
-Oook I won't do it again
It's because they're really tasty, I wan to eat them right away, also they're really fluffy.
It feels like I'm chewing a pillow.
But they don't taste like a pillow....I don't want to talk about how I know.
While I was eating Alan was on the phone talking to someone. I don't know why he doesn't want to give me a phone, I asked for it but he said I didn't really needed one. I wonder who he is talking to...
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After the regular check up I ask Alan why can't I just keep my things, they have seen them before already, they know I don't carry anything dangerous. He just tells me they thought the same thing when the Juno thing happened, I can't do anything but give him the reason, you can't just start trusting someone all of the sudden, even more people you already know for years, you can't trust nobody in this universe.
-But hey, I can let you keep your phone if you want. just... well you know. don't take pictures.
-But facility 7 is already part of the common knowledge. Everybody knows about you guys and what you do.
-Yes. But no one knows about faraday but a selected personal and the council of 7. It's a very well kept secret, hidden among a well known fact. Perfect hiding spot
- Sure. Whatever you say, can I really keep it?
-I don't see a problem with you having it, also it's not like you can do much with only your phone.
-Thats what people thought about Juno.
-Yeah your right, give it back
-WAIT NO IT WAS A JOKE
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Alan left a couple of minutes ago, he didn't tell me why, but I think this is the same hour as yesterday, he went outside and then miss Cecile came in his place. I hope the same thing happens again, I really want to see miss Cecile again.
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After having an arm wrestling competition with Alan, and losing 5-0 he grew pity of me and finally allowed me to keep my phone Inside the room....
In my defense the prosthetic has a set amount of force and i clearly saw him using the table for more power. with cheats everyone can win, anyway. Who am I to judge. It feels good to have something look at while moving through the almost endless halls of the facility.... they could put some moving stairs you know?.
Alan even said himself this is nothing but a design flaw.
After spending most of the calories I gained during breakfast, I finally reached the door, opening it doesn't feel as ominous as before, it's starting to become quite mundane, also quite annoying since I have a migraine for the lack of sleep. In retrospective I really should have bought some painkillers. I'll add it to the list of things I'll forget once I cross that portal this night.
The room is once again barely illuminated by the white room faraday is on, this feeling is getting quite nostalgic. The emptiness of this whole hall. The barely noticeable illumination.... this very well could be my room. I feel at home in this loneliness. Unfortunately, loneliness can't be enjoyed a lot when a kid is waiting for you on the other side of that light....
Woah that almost sounded like I hate her. Geez.
I don't dislike faraday, she is cool, I kinda admire her in a way, I wish I could comprehend her more and understand her powers, it's more of a "I want to resolve this puzzle because it's fun" you know. She is kind of annoying some times but I know it's because she doesn't know how to deal with people. Also, she clearly wants to have fun while I just want to stay in silence and just write about the experiments we do. but hey, this is my job, I need to do it so.
This time the curtain wasn't down. finally a change in pace. I guess this is my lucky day?
I don't see faraday inside. is she up- yeah she is up there.
-Faraday, can you come down please?
after that faraday gets surprised and ends up dropping her food plate. are those pancakes?
-Miss Cecile, hello !
-Uh hello faraday but you let go of your plate.
-Oh...oh yeah sorry, I'm gonna clean it up later I swear
- That is not a problem, why didn't you just go for it? I already know you have a LOT of speed soo.
-Uh that ummm.. Alan told me to stop using my powers today because I already spent a lot of shirts because of that. So I can't run today.
-What does running have to do with your shirt?.
-You saw it yesterday miss Cecile, I impulse myself with lightning. I hit my back so I kinda have to destroy my shirts every time I run.
- What can't they just give something that resists those lightnings?
-Miss Cecile.... are you alright?
-Yeah I'm fine. why so you ask?
-Because the point of all of this is to find that you know? the material to know that
-Oh right, my bad
-Also you look really gloomy, your eyes look really tired
-Oh... sorry I've been having some issues lately sleeping. But I'm good I swear.
-You are forgetting things miss Cecile, I don't think that is being "good".
-Ok I... might have an issue here. but i can't do anything about it, I tried my best to sleep the last 3 days but I just can't manage to reach a sleep state. I think I need to take some pills or something because this whole thing is making me really mad...
-Miss Cecile don't you want to take a re-
-NO!... no sorry but I don't want to. I've never taken a free day before and I don't like the idea of taking one.
-Miss Cecile there is no need for you to force yourself to go to work, we can do this tomorrow if you want
-But...
-Your health is the priority miss Cecile. if you get really bad you won't be able to come even if you wan to.
-You're right... I need to take a break... but I really... wait so you have a phone?.
-Ah? no Alan doesn't let me have one, he says I don't need one because there's no need for me to talk to someone outside the room.
-Well I'll talk with him right now
-Wait miss cec-
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Miss Cecile went back to the door without looking at me a single time, she is clearly pissed about something. I'm really worried about her, she wants to give her all about this job but this entire week has been nothing but accidents and holdbacks. There hasn't been a single day where we can stay together for the full duration of the day.
And yet she is still afflicted by insomnia. She is not having a good time at all, I want her to get some sleep so I can see her smile again.
I wish we could have some good time together and help her with the job, she clearly likes doing it.
I'm ok with waiting until she can have fun again doing what she likes.
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-Alan
-Oh, here for the rematch? we'll do it without a table so you can see I'm not cheating.
-YOU WERE CHEA- ahem. I'm coming to talk about the phone situation with Faraday.
-Oh she got you into it too?. I'll give her one
-You know I've- what?.
-Im going to give her one, I'm just telling her I won't so it can be a surprise for her birthday.
-What when is her birthday?.
-Tomorrow.
-You could have told me that you know.
-There was no need to, it was written in the dossier I gave you .
-For real?.
-Yes, you didn't see it?.
- I.... no.
- Right, I'll record a voice message next time. I told everyone dossiers are outdated and nobody wants to read them but nobody believed me.
-Uhm... thanks I guess
-You're welcome
-Also I wanted to talk about something else.
This insomnia shit I've been having since Monday, I think it's really starting to make things really hard for me, so.... I know I said no this morning but can I take a break from working?. It won't be long I swear, I just need a day to clear things up you know?.
- It's okay, you take as many days as you want. Just tell em when you're ready again and I'll open the doors for you again, I'll take care of her for you on the meantime.
-Thanks I.... Alan
-Hmm?
-Why are you su goddamm nice?.
-Does it annoy you?.
-A bit, it just feels weird seeing someone so nice coming from this kind of job.
- I've learned to enjoy things in life. we don't have plenty of time in this world, and right now there's nothing I like more than working in this job.
-Sure buddy, keep your secrets if you want
-I mean if you don't want to trust me is up to you, but I'm telling the truth.
he says with that smile again on his face.
-Also, could you please give my number to faraday when you give her the phone?.
-Hmm?.
- If I don't get back by that time I mean, I'll need to do research from afar so I don't stale this more than it needs to be. and for that I'll need to talk with her in the phone.
-Seems fair to me, I'll be sure to tell her. so go rest now.
-Thanks Alan, your a great friend.
I take my stuff and go towards the the exit.
-----------------
-We are friends?.... cool
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Miss Cecile went away like an hour ago and I haven't heard about her since then, I've been waiting on top of the cage. but know I expect her she won't be able to scare me again haha....
As the door opens my heart begins to pump and my excitement goes wild Inside, I contain it again, as I've been doing since the first day is knowing miss Cecile. But gets just barely reduced when I see that the one coming from the door is Alan instead of miss Cecile. I jump down expecting the worse. that my words actually convinced miss Cecile to take a break, an order that came from my heart but at the same time wished I've never said in the first place. Alan tells me that she did in fact ask for a break and she won't be coming back at least for today. my heart crumbles but gets lighted at the same time, I won't be able to see the person I love the most, but I get assured that she will recover from the bad state she is stuck in right now.... I still feel bad about it nonetheless.... I think I'm a bad person.
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leaving my work without completing my day has become the norm around me recently, I think I'm really not suited for this, neither me or my body, this sleep depravation has been nothing but a living hell from the start, and now it costs me the first time in my life where I've taken a day off work... this is pathetic.
But I guess I really have no other choice but to keep my health. I went to the local drugstore and asked for their best sleeping pills, hopefully this will knock me down at least for an hour, I don't need anything else. the faster I get to work the better.
I take the pills, I gulp with the might of the gods, start coughing because I forgot the water. drink water. and the gulp again, completing my mission, waiting for the rewards bestowed upon me by the lord's o-
zzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzz
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The clock says it's already 8 PM, I hope miss Cecile is actually sleeping now....
I wonder how she looks while sleep, she must look cute.
I.... feel bad saying that. I won't do it again I swear
But...
If miss Cecile and I become something one day...
I could see her face when waking up, I want to see her waking face. I want so see her in general. but without being weird. looking at her and she answering me with a genuine smile, just being happy to see me, as much as I'm happy when I see her each day....
NONONONO this is really weird stop it!.
my face is all red and I feel really weird. My chest hurts. I don't want to think about this stuff anymore!.
I dig my face on my pillow, hoping the soft and comfy touch of my sleeping tool allows me to finally forget about this thing.
It fails.
For like an hour, then I sleep.