Torcher for all

Something is awfully wrong.

I can feel it.

The feeling that Ash is in danger and needs me isn't leaving !

I haven't been able to concentrate on any fucking thing.

I had a surgery scheduled, but my mind wasn't sane and I couldn't put the patient's life in danger just because, I was out of mind !

So, I let my coworker handle it.

She was talking to me when she left.

But when she landed there, checked in the hotel, went somewhere with them and boom !

She stopped receiving my calls, replying my texts. Even though, she was so happy to be with her mother again, yet she could at least text me that she'll talk to me later but no !

I haven't heard from here it's about a week now. As the time is ticking, I am going insane here. Definitely something is wrong !

I don't remember when was the last time I ate anything and knew what exactly I ate !

I just kept on calling her but she didn't replied. When I called the guys, they could at least had her shout from far away that, she was fine and contact me later !

I know the guys are lying about her !

It's not possible that, she is so busy and happy to be with her Mom that, she couldn't take few seconds to reply to any from my thousands of texts !

Before going to sleep, just after waking up, after shower at least !

This is impossible that, she didn't got a single second to contact me.

Considering the unsatisfied way I left her, I deny to believe that, she didn't missed me even for a second !

I was sitting on the floor staring at the roof when, the door clicked open and Jules, Derek and Lauren entered.

But I didn't saw the creature, I was DYING to listen to the voice of !

Then Cole entered the room; with Ash in his arms !

My breath choked in my throat to see her like that.

She was looking pathetic and pale like a ghost !

" Oh my god !

What happened ?

Why is she... "

I barely wispered in horror.

I slowly approached her when, Cole put her on the floor.

She was smiling weakly at me.

Her big marble sized eyes were narrowed, she didn't do it but they became that way !

The fresh and refreshing blush of her skin was long gone !

" Oh my poor baby, what happened ?

You look terrible, darling ! "

I said shocked.

I reached her to take her in my arms and ran my hand over her body and when my hand accidentally touched the area near her ribs, she winced in pain and her hand reached the place it hurt.

" Aaah... "

I jerked away from her in fear as, the thought of hurting her again crept in my mind.

I looked at the guys, but no one looked me in the eyes !

" What happened there ?

Why is she in pain ? "

I asked.

No response !

They were looking at eachothers and every existing place in the room but my eyes !

The panic started to take over and my voice raised with the passing second,

" I asked something !

Fucking answer my question ! "

I spat through my clenched teeth.

Cole breathed in and told me everything happened there.

That fucking Michael shot my sweetheart ?

She is in pain because of him ?

I am very happy to know that Cole shot him dead...

But the next second when, I recalled the thing that, they told me she was alright and wasn't talking to me because she was busy with her Mom; my face and brain filled only with anger !

" You fucking bastards, you lied to my face about her well being ?

I told you guys that, I am feeling she is hurt and needs me and this thought isn't leaving my mind and I can't concentrate on anything fucking thing, why didn't you told me then ?

Why did you kept this huge thing from me ?

How dare you ! "

I screamed my lungs out.

I completely lost my mind.

No one was daring to utter a single word out of their mouth.

I was fuming with anger.

" Doc, I think you are overreacting and we... "

Lauren said calmly.

" I am OVERREACTING ?

I am overreacting ?

I haven't fucking left this house in whole week !

I don't know if, I ate anything and if did, I ate it without knowing what it is with the thought of, she being in danger and you are saying I am OVERREACTING !

It's your fault that I am mindless now !

Only I know how did I spent these days with only one thought in mind that, she is in danger and needs me !

Cole you fucking bastard, aren't you the one who yelled and scolded the shit out of me in childhood because I lied ?

And you, fucking YOU lied to my face !

How could you be so hypocrite ? "

I said grabbing his collar.

" Doc, relax.

They... "

Ashley said weakly taking their side.

" I don't wanna hear a single thing.

Why the hell did you all kept this from me this long ?

Did you all took me for a toddler ?

Did you really thought that I would take your lie and accept it without any doubt ?

How could she be so lost in her mother that, she couldn't reply my text even just before going to sleep ?

I knew something was wrong...

But I wasn't expecting it to be this bad ! "

I was shaking with anger.

I was literally screaming my lungs out.

I didn't realised that, I was crying until, she wiped my tears with her hand.

" Relax, Doc.

They didn't wanted you to worry, by telling you about me. "

Ashley said softly.

" Don't you fucking take their side, Ash !

They should've told me.

And what difference they think they made by NOT telling me ?

Was I myself ?

Was I at my work and operating my patient ? Have I stepped outside the house the whole fucking week ? "

I said yelling.

" And what difference it would have made if, they had told you ?

Would you have been yourself ?

Would you have operated him ?

Would you have stepped outside the house ?

No, right ? "

Ashley said taking their side.

" But I expected them to tell me everything.

I didn't expected them to lie to me !

Just because I didn't came with you guys, doesn't give you guys the right to keep things from me ! You fucking tell me every single thing ! "

I said fuming.

" Doc, please calm down... "

Ashley said softly.

" I WON'T ! "

Fuck !

She flinched away from me, as I yelled at her !

She was shocked and scared of me.

Wow, what else yet I have left to do now ?

I scared the person I love the most.

What kind of a monster I am ?

She is already in so much pain and I added some in by yelling at her and making her jerking away from me !

She reached out her hand and hesitated to place it on my chest.

Sighing guiltily, I grabbed her hand and placed it on my chest.

" I...

I am so sorry, sweetheart.

I didn't meant to scare you away.

I just...

Lost my mind.

Don't be scared of me, please.

I am so sorry... "

I said calming down.

My anger was long gone and guilt took over.

I was shocked with myself that, this little creature infront of me holds an unbelievable effect on me !

I haven't been able to change my emotions this instantly, ever !

No matter how bad I felt afterwards; but when I was mad, I didn't gave a fuck, what anyone's gonna think of me.

But now ?

Now I don't want this lill girl over here do nothing but love me !

I held her in my embrace from behind so that, I won't hurt her and ran my hand over her head trying to calm down.

" I am so sorry, darling.

I really didn't meant to scare you... "

I wispered softly.

" Do you think I don't know that much, Doc ?

You can never yell at me intensionally, now can you ? "

Ashley said caressing my arms over her chest.

" Speaking our language huh, love ?

Learnt already... "

Lauren said chuckling.

I glared at him so intensely he backed up a bit.

Does he thinks, I calmed down that means they are off the hook ?

It's only for my love !

" Come on now, don't go so hard on them.

They didn't do it with ill intensions !

Forgive them.

Think about why did they did, what they did.

Their intension was pure.

They didn't wanted you to worry about me and... "

Ashley said grabbing my hands warmly.

" But I WAS worried about you the ENTIRE TIME ! What about it ? "

I said remembering the g

horrible time I spent alone.

" Doc, they didn't thought about it.

They were way too panicked seeing me like that and they did what they thought was better for you !

You were far away from us and ALONE here and moreover, you had a SURGERY scheduled so, they didn't wanted you to loose focus.

If they had asked me whether they would want me to tell you, I would had said NO for the same purpose, Doc ! "

Ashley said rubbing her cheek on my wrist.

" You are going to take THEIR side no matter what, right ? "

I said faking anger.

" Yes ! "

Lauren said smirking.

" Shut the fuck up !

I am still mad at YOU GUYS ! "

I said angrily.

And was mad !

" Let it go, Doc !

Forgive us already.

We really didn't wanted to put you through what we were going and that too, when you were alone ! "

Cole said softly.

" Ok, fine.

But you guys WILL pay for what you did to me ! "

I said determined.

" How ? "

Jules asked

" I am going to take leave from work for few weeks and take care of her ! "

I said tightening my grip on her.

" Whether you want it or not, you HAVE do it ! Because she needs her wound to be dressed everyday ! "

Jules said.

" Don't you think I know that ?

I am doctor as well !

And I have operated many patients with bullets in their body and they need to be dressed.

Now, your punishment is, neither of you gets to spend time with her ! "

I said smirking.

" What ?

This is mean ! "

Derek said annoyed.

" Yes, just like YOU acted with ME !

Now you are gonna pay for that.

Now, she must be tired and she had been on a flight with too many people around her.

I need to dress her wound before she catches any kind of infection.

You guys get fresh and I'll ask our cook to make something for you to eat and a hot and tasty soup for the lady, which I'll prepare MYSELF !

Now, shall we, honey ? "

I asked turning her around to face me.

She nodded and took my hand which I offered. She took a step and winced in pain.

I lifted her up in my arms softly and took her to her bedroom.

I gently placed her on the bed.

She was looking so weak and tired.

" You look terrible, baby !

Do you want me to give you a sponge bath ? "

I asked feeling sorry for her to have face the pain.

" Yeah, I'd love that ! "

Ashley said relieved already.

I got warm water with anticeptic solution in it with a new and sanitized sponge.

I slowly removed her clothes and layed her on the bed on her back.

I soaked the sponge with the water and ran it over her delicate skin carefully without putting much pressure on it.

She closed her eyes at the warm and soothing water.

I slowly ran it in circles on her skin.

I slowly cleaned her legs from her toe up to her hips.

When I reached her thighs she moaned and parted her lips.

I had an urge to use my fingers instead of the sponge, but I faught it back and ignored the look she was giving me.

I know exactly what she wanted me to do, but I won't do it, for her sake !

After giving her the sponge bath, I dressed her wound.

She was wincing with pain as I was applying the ointment on her wound.

She closed her eyes shut and dug her nails in my arms as it burnt against the wound.

Her face was showing exactly how much it was burning and in how much pain she was in.

I blew over it to soothe and covered it with the medicinated bandage.

I ran my hand soothingly over her head and face.

She grabbed my hand in her and pressed it between her cheeks and neck.

She was feeling sleepy.

I let her rest while I prepared her soup.

I fed it to her and gave her medicines and she fell asleep.

I went to dining room and we had dinner together.

They told me exactly what happened there.

How Pavel took Cole's blame and how Derek's friends helped him to prove him innocent as well as get the case solved and get rid of it so quickly.

They even convinced Rachel to file complaint against Alex and even Ash agreed to with her mother.

Finally she'll get the justice she deserves !

She already had got half as Cole killed Michael.

I so wish I was there to watch him die infront of my eyes !

Never mind, I'll watch Alex getting destroyed ! Though, that won't compensate the Michael's death, but I'll compromise; as if I have some other option !

We went to sleep after the dinner and lots of discussion about how to get to Alex and when to call Rachel to file against him.

When I went to her, she was fast asleep and snoring slow and low; my favourite music when I can't sleep !

It is so soothing and sweet, it always makes me sleepy whenever I can't sleep !

It's like and ASMR for me.

I was tempted to get in bed with her but, I couldn't gathere the courage to do that.

What if, I fell asleep so deep and hurt her in sleep ?

What if out of habit, I pulled her closer and pressed her as hard as I can ?

It would hurt her beyond imagination !

I can't do that to her.

And what if, I didn't do anything; but she turns and sleeps on her stomach, making her wound worse than it is !

She definitely can do that.

She sleeps on her stomach and she had done it when, she got her hand fractured and made it worse by sleeping over it !

No, no...

I can't sleep !

I'll stay awake the whole night and keep watch on her.

I can stay awake all night, I am used to it, as many of the surgeries I did, were at night.

I can sleep in day time.

She won't be that deep asleep in daytime as she would be at night.

I didn't slept the whole night and I was absolutely right about my doubt her sleeping over her stomach !

I had to keep her from turning on her stomach every half an hour !

I had just closed my eyes when, I heard her groaning,

" What happened ?

Is it hurting too much ?

Do you want me to give you some painkiller ? "

I asked panicked.

" No, no.

Don't get panicked, Doc !

Do you act like this whenever your patient groans in pain ? "

Ashley said trying to laugh while saying it.

But her discomfort was visible on her face !

" My patients aren't YOU !

I am like this, because it's you !

Tell me... "

I asked getting impatient.

" Calm down, Doc !

It IS gonna hurt for quite some time now.

The surgeon had to give me a deep incision to take the bullet out...

Something like that !

I don't know what it means, but he told something like this to Derek and he told me... "

Ashley said groaning

" What ?

Deep incision ?

There wasn't any need to do that !

Was your surgeon out of his mind ?

What kind of surgeon does this with some teen ? He could simply used the fucking endoscopy !

It doesn't requires deep and long incisions !

A small incision is enough for that.

I am gonna sue that bastard, who doesn't even know what to do in which cases !

He can kill weak patients at this rate... "

I said getting mad at that stupid surgeon.

" Calm down, Doc.

Don't do anything like that.

Endoscopy or not he is the one who saved my life !

It isn't appropriate to sue someone who saved our life, is it ?

No, right ? "

Ashley said trying to keep her face from showing the painful expressions.

" How could you be so kind and forgiving always, darling ?

But he needs to know he CAN use this option the next time.

Because he won't always be operating someone so kind hearted like my baby girl. "

I said softly.

I pressed my lips to her and she kissed me and tried to pull me to her.

I almost lost it, but I didn't let her do that.

I might hurt her.

I pulled away and yawned, I didn't do it on purpose though, but it helped me out !

" You are yawning ?

Haven't you slept well ? "

Ashley asked.

" Slept well ?

I haven't slept the WHOLE night ! "

I said.

" What ?

Why did you do that ?

Why didn't you slept ? "

Ashley asked concerned about me.

" For YOUR sake !

You tend to sleep on your injured body parts and you tried to do it last night as well.

I had to keep you from doing that, every half hour the whole night ! "

I told her.

" What ?

Oh my gosh, I am so sorry !

I didn't wanted to trouble you... "

Ashley said feeling guilty for I had to stay awake.

" Shut up !

You didn't troubled me.

I did it, on my own.

I choose to get troubled !

Ha ha. "

I said laughing.

She looked embarassed.

And I must say, she looks so damn cute when she feels embarassed by her deed !

I pressed my lips to forehead and smiled at her.

" Don't be embarassed, baby.

I was teasing you !

I am your nurse here.

It's my duty to keep you safe and take your care.

I did what I had to, you don't have to feel bad or guilty about it.

Now, do you want to brush your teeth or want to rest some more ? "

I asked.

" Um...

I don't feel getting out just now ! "

Ashley said.

" No problem, mam.

Whatever you wish.

Now that everyone left for work, it's only me and you here !

So what I am gonna do is, tie your hand with mine, so that you won't wander around the house without getting me up ! "

I said.

" Hey, you don't have to do that Doc !

I won't go... "

Ashley said opposing.

" I DON'T trust you with that even a bit.

So now, go to sleep and let me too sleep for a while.

I need to get ready your soup and give you a sponge bath and your medicine as well. "

I said.

She smiled at me and pressed her lips on mine and I got in bed with her, but kept distance between us.

She tried to erase it,

" Baby girl if, you would be a bad girl, Daddy will punish you and he'll make sure, you won't like your punishment ! "

I said teasing her.

" What would be your punishment, Daddy ? "

Ashley asked.

" I WON'T touch you other than dressing your wound.

Won't even let you grab my arm when, I'll apply the ointment to it.

Won't soothe your pain by caressing you.

Would you want that ? "

I asked raising my eyebrows.

" No !

Please don't.

You already aren't touching me and I don't want you to stop whatever you are giving me now.

Please don't to that.

Can you tell me, why are you doing this ? "

Ashley asked making a puppy face.

" Doing what ? "

I asked.

" Not touching me or letting me come close to you.

You haven't even kissed me yet !

I thought you'd kiss me the whole night !

But you... "

She seemed hurt and offended.

" Oh my innocent baby girl, I really want to kiss you the whole night.

Bite your lips till they bleed, as I have promised you, before you left !

And I WILL do that but my dear, you are hurt.

I don't want to do anything that would excite and make your clench stomach by having an adrenaline rush within by my evil deeds to your body !

I badly want to kiss you and take you, but darling I don't want you to face more pain because of me ! If, I kissed you for more than a peck, I am sure I am gonna want so much more and It's gonna lead us to hurt you more !

And it's already hurting me to see in such immense pain, it'll kill me if, gets worse and ME being the reason behind it !

Do you want me to feel guilty for hurting you, baby ? "

I asked cupping her face.

She shooked her head, her face sad.

I kissed her head and layed her on the bed carefully and layed beside her and closed my eyes.

After waking up for it felt like whole day, I woke up after few hours.

She was still sleeping.

I admired her beauty and her presence beside me, which I was badly missing when she left !

But I had to get the hell out of this bed or else I am gonna hurt her.

I took shower and prepared her soup.

I woke her up brushed her teeths and gave her sponge bath making sure I won't touch her to arouse her.

But watching her naked was arousing ME as hell !

I fed her the soup with my hands and gave her medicines.

She told me about her Mom and Pavel being such a great guy and she was happy seeing her mother happy after so long and she slept mid-talk !

Her medicines must be so powerful.

They are going to get changed with MINE !

This became our routine for the whole month. She was healing pretty well with my medicines and without having any side effects.

She kept telling me that, her wound doesn't hurt that much now, I can do evil deeds to her body ! But I am not a fucking toddler.

I have been dressing her wound and her face couldn't lie when a sharp pain raised whenever she even turns carelessly !

She tried to not show it on her face, but it was an immense pain.

The incision was deep, thanks to that motherfucker who don't have any idea of handling surgeries and I don't know who allowed him to become a surgeon !

She was growing restless and insane with need to be touched and making ME go crazy with her attempts to get me do that, but I somehow managed to not let loose my self control.

She cried to sleep in the beginning and eventually started even CURSING me for not giving her what she was craving for !

After a month passed, I started going to the hospital.

I started dressing her wound before I left for the work.

We resumed our turns to be with her again.

And the way she became the FIERCE girl she was never before; I am sure none of the guys have touched her either !

Good thing, I have gave them the idea about hurting her with adrenaline rush and my smart guys didn't make me say the words,

' DON'T FUCK HER TILL SHE IS RECOVERED ! '

And that's a great relief !

It was torcher for us as well, having her in bed so close to us but can't touch her.

But she felt, we were doing it because we are loosing interest in her slowly as she was hurt now !

How stupid my honey is !

We can never loose interest in her.

I am desperately waiting for her to recover so that, I can fuck her until she BEGS me to stop !