13. Chapter 13

AN: Another chapter... this one is more the typical length. I did struggle with this chapter at first, so I hope you all enjoy it!

Thanks for all the support this story has received!

After Bruno sent Isabela and Luisa to Mirabel's bedside, he collapsed in a chair, burying his face in his hands, suddenly weary.

He was startled by the clearing of a throat next to him. He looked up sharply.

"Mama?" He asked. He had spoken very briefly with her since his return, but he couldn't ignore the expression on her face - she looked utterly lost. "What's wrong?"

"I owe you an apology, mijo." She murmured, sitting in the chair across from him. "But I understand if you don't want to hear an apology from me."

Bruno wasn't sure where this was coming from - he had long ago given up the hope that his Mama would ever recognize the damage that she had done - especially as the events of the last couple of weeks had unfolded. Though… the past week or so, ever since Isabela had gone off on her for her treatment of Luisa… she had been different. Quiet, more contemplative.

"I'm listening." He said, still guarded.

"I - I failed you so much, Brunito." She murmured. "I have lived in fear of losing my home again. And I've lost sight of what really matters. A home… a home can be rebuilt. Family… family is a different story. And I can't believe it's taken me so long to realize that, but it has. I'm sorry for not protecting you. I'm sorry for forcing you to have visions for people who obviously could not handle what they were hearing. I'm sorry that you felt like the only way to protect yourself and Mirabel after your vision was to leave the family altogether. I've failed you, I've failed your sisters, I've failed our whole family. And I am so very sorry for that, and I want to start making up for it."

Bruno blinked at her, unsure if he had actually heard what she said or if he was hallucinating.

"It's not so simple, Mama." Bruno said quietly, surprising himself. He had always anticipated just forgiving her if she had every shown enough growth to actually come and apologize to him. But he wasn't the only one she had hurt, and he was more upset about that than the hurt she had caused him. "I'm not the only one you owe an apology to. Isabela almost married a man because it's what you wanted. Luisa has been killing herself - even now - to meet your expectations. Dolores and Camilo are filled with so much anxiety, it's painful to watch. They hide it well, but I still see it. Pepa has spent her whole life trying to gain a mastery over her emotions that none of us are meant to have. She's spent days forcing herself to be sad when she's actually happy, and happy when it's the last thing she wants to be. She has forced her emotions away for so long that she doesn't even know what to do with her emotions besides shove them down. And Julieta has had to be the strong one. She began trying to protect Pepa and I when we were just five years old, and she's never stopped, whether it be with us or her children. She never had a childhood, none of us did. The moment we turned five, we became a slave to our gifts. And Mirabel? Mirabel wants your approval so much that she ran into Casita, which was actively crumbling around her, to save a candle. A candle that had denied her a gift. A candle that meant absolutely nothing compared to her own life, but she did it anyway. And she entered a coma for six weeks because of those actions. The true miracle is the fact that she woke up! I cannot forgive you until you have shown with your actions that I should."

Alma's eyes filled with tears. "Mirabel's awake?" She gasped.

"You didn't know?" Bruno deflated, feeling guilt himself at how he spoke to his mother.

"No." She shook her head. "Thank you for telling me." She swallowed. "And thank you for being honest with me. I'm still realizing all of the ways that I have messed up. And I intend to make up for it and to apologize to each one of you."

"I'm glad to hear that." He said softly.

"I-" She stopped before restarting her sentence. "Do you think I could go see Mirabel? I know that I've failed by not really going to see her since… since she's been there. But I would like to."

Bruno shrugged. "That's not my decision. But if you want my opinion, I think that whether we think Julieta or Isabela or Dolores will let you in the room, Mirabel deserves for you to try."

Mama nodded slowly. "You're absolutely right." She stood up slowly, her hands shaking, and Bruno realized how anxious all of this was making her.

Good. If she was anxious, that means she finally realized she had something to lose.

"Mama," Bruno called out. "You need to recognize that an apology is not going to make everything magically better… and some may not be able to forgive you. You need to be prepared for that. Either way… they deserve to hear an apology."

Alma swallowed. Bruno was right, and she knew that. "You're right, Brunito. Gracias."

Alma was anxious. She knew that her family would likely not forgive her - and they shouldn't. But Bruno was right, she needed to try, regardless. Not just for Mirabel, but for her other grandchildren, and for her own children, who she had failed so deeply.

Alma slowly made her way to the doctor's. Contrary to what most of her family thought, Alma had slipped over regularly in the middle of the night to check on her youngest granddaughter. The only ones aware of these trips were Julieta, and maybe Agustín.

Alma had never even entered the room, just stood in the doorway and watched her daughter and granddaughter, before returning back to the church to sleep.

The sight that greeted Alma when she walked in the door was heartwarming. Isabela and Luisa were both fussing over their sister while Julieta and Agustín looked on, obviously proud of all of their children.

Mirabel was the only one somewhat facing her, so she noticed her presence first, her sentence falling off and her eyes widening, drawing the attention of everyone in the room.

Julieta reacted first, and quickly, standing up and crossing the room. "No, Mama." She said quietly but firmly. "If you are here to fuss at Mirabel or Luisa or Isabela, you will need to leave. My mija needs rest, not stress, and I will not allow you to add-"

"I'm here to apologize." Alma said quietly.

Julieta stopped talking, and Alma felt ashamed at the shock that she saw on her daughter's face.

"You… what?"

"I'm here to apologize." She said more firmly. "Not just to Mirabel, but to all of you." She hadn't fully anticipated an audience for her apologies, but she didn't feel right asking any of them to leave just for her own comfort.

"Let her in, please, Mama." Came Mirabel's voice, quiet, from behind Julieta.

Julieta deflated at the sound of her youngest daughter's voice, and she stepped aside.

"You two don't have to stay if you don't want to." Mirabel murmured quietly to Luisa and Isabela, who had both tensed as Alma entered the room.

Isabela immediately shook her head and reached over for Mirabel's hand. "Dolores will never forgive me if I leave." She said with a smirk, and Mirabel snorted.

"I'll stay." Luisa said quietly.

Alma started with Mirabel, instinctively knowing that her other granddaughters would never even entertain an apology from her if she didn't apologize first to Mirabel.

"Mirabel, I am so sorry for how I've treated you since your ceremony, and I am sorry that it's taken me so long to realize how poor my own actions have been. I've allowed the gifts to define our family, I allowed the gifts to be what gives us meaning and purpose. I lost sight of the fact that the true miracle is all of you… is our family. And even since Casita fell, it's taken me a long time to come to terms with how much I have messed up - it was not easy to reflect on my own failings, and I'm sorry for that as well. And I know that forgiveness won't be easy… and I understand that it may never come, and that that's my own fault. But I would like to start showing you - all of you - how sorry I am with my actions."

She turned to her other granddaughters. "Luisa, I am sorry that I did not realize how much pressure I was putting on you for your strength. I won't be doing that anymore. And if I do, you have full permission to tell me know yourself. I don't want you to think that you aren't allowed to stand up to me. I am vowing to listen when any of you point out that what I'm doing is wrong. And I will still make mistakes - it will take me time to unlearn my behavior. And if I'm too late for that, I understand. But I hope you'll consider it."

"And Isabela." Alma turned to her oldest granddaughter. "I am so sorry I didn't realize that you didn't want to marry Mariano. I'm sorry that you felt you had to because you thought I wanted it. And would the unions between our families have been good? Yes, but not at the cost of your happiness. I am sorry that you have had to conform yourself into someone you aren't to please me. And I am proud of you for having the courage and strength to stand up for me with your sisters."

They were all gaping at her in shock, and Alma realized with shame that they may have never heard her apologize before.

She was on a roll, she wasn't going to stop now. "And Julieta," She turned to her oldest child, taking her hands in hers. "I owe you an apology as well. An apology for how I've treated your children, but also an apology for how I've treated you." Tears filled Julieta's eyes. "I allowed the gifts to control my every action and movement and thoughts, and that wasn't right. I took away your childhood with all of the pressure that I put you under. I know how much your heart breaks with every illness you can't heal. But that burden isn't yours to bear, and I'm so sorry that I made it yours."

She looked around at all of them. They were all speechless. Agustin was giving her an approving nod and smile.

"I can forgive you, Abuela," Mirabel said, breaking the silence. "But I need things to be different. I can't keep… I can't keep going the way things were before Casita fell. I hear you say that you plan to act differently… I really hope you do."

"I will." Alma felt her resolve to do better harden even more. "I want to be a part of the pact that everyone made."

"Pact?" Mirabel asked, looking at her sisters for an answer.

Isabela explained. "After you were hurt… we all agreed that we need to do better looking out for each other… as a family. That we will keep each other accountable, and point out when we aren't treating each other correctly." She turned to Alma. "I need to see it. I'm not ready to forgive you, not for how you treated me, but for how you've treated my hermanas. I need to see that change before I will be able to consider forgiving you."

Luisa looked nervous and opened her mouth a couple of times and then closed it just as quickly.

"Luisa," Alma started, and her granddaughter flinched. "I'm not expecting a response. I understand I have work to do to show I'm changing. The apologies are because you all deserve to hear them, whether you accept them or not." She glanced between them all, silence falling over the room again. "I'm going to leave now," She murmured. "I just wanted to see Mirabel and to try and start making things right."

Alma left the room, but had barely made it down the hallway before Julieta was behind her.

"I- Pepa and Bruno deserve an apology more than I do." Julieta said quietly.

"I know that they deserve an apology, mija. I started with your hermano first." Alma smiled sadly. "But I've hurt you just as badly, it's just harder to spot."

Julieta searched her face for a while before wrapping Alma in her arms in a hug. "I forgive you, Mama." she murmured.

Alma hugged her back, tears coming to her eyes. She hadn't lost Julieta. She still had one child.

And she knew it was going to take a lot of work to not lose the rest of her family. But she was willing to do it.