51. Simon To His Daphne

-"You'll never know how much I love you, baby girl.

You'll never know."-

"Where's Anthony?" A surprised Colin blinked over at me entering the parlour where he was reading on the sofa. "I thought you were packing for Brussels?" "Where is he?!" "He uh, went to the park with Benedict. Something about confronting Simon? Seemed pretty mad about somethin'." "Oh my god," it just never ends. Without another word I spun on my heels and began marching out of the room just as fast as I'd shown up. Colin sat up in alarm. "Hey wait! Where are you going?! Your plane leaves this afternoon!"

Ignoring my brother, I grabbed my keys and went straight out the front door, nearly bumping into Eloise as she ascended the staircase. She too, looked at me with surprise and confusion. "Daphne?" Was all I would let her say. "I'm going out for a minute." "But wait… I thought…. Isn't your flight supposed to take off in five hours? Anthony said he'd take all of us to the airport this morning…." She stuck her thumb out behind her like that jester meant anything. "I'll be right back," I simply continued by, brushing past her. "But shouldn't you finish packing for Brussels?" Her too? Really? My feet wouldn't stop moving forward though. "I'm not going to Brussels!" I hollered while taking off down the street at a running pace.

Not after I just exchanged my ticket to fly into Amsterdam instead.

The park wasn't a far walk from the house. I'd been running so fast and ignoring my heartrate, which would turn out to bite me in the butt later. By the time I finally got there and found them, they were already in the middle of an argument. Fantastic. Knowing that time was of the essence, I decided to brush aside decorum and act erratically. Stress was getting the better of me and running all the way here didn't help. Not seconds after Simon raised his voice- saying something I couldn't make out- and Anthony shoved him away did it happen. "Anthony!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, desperate to grab their attention. Then, all I remember was my vision turning a solid white. I'm not sure if I out-and-out fainted, but when my sight fully returned, I was laying on top of the grass with no recollection as to how I'd got there. Oh… Oh no. So perhaps we've finally got there- we've reached a point in my life where fainting is a thing now.

"Sister!" "Daphne!" Everyone instantly came rushing over to where I'd collapsed onto the ground. "Stand aside!" I think Anthony told Benedict. He proceeded to scoop up my upper half into his arms, all while inspecting me over very, very worriedly. Simon was worried too. "Are you hurt? Tell me!" My heart fluttered a little when the duke demanded this. But there was no time for that. They watched me in horror as I tried- slowly- to get to my feet again, albeit with a wobbly stance. Anthony kept one hand firmly on my shoulder to keep me steady. "Daphne! No, don't stand up so quickly! You'll fall again!" Man, if you could have heard the panic in his voice just then. Even Benny wore a frightened expression. "Did you faint?" He asked, causing both Simon and Anthony to gasp in utter horror. I rolled my eyes; probably not the smartest move seeing as I lost my vision for a second moments ago.

"I'm fine; I'm fine, no thanks to you idiots." "You are clearly not fine! You just tumbled to the ground!" Anthony loudly retorted. "Daphne," him saying this made Simon take another anxious step towards me. "Are you ok? Can you see alright?" My eldest brother examined my eyes for coordination, only causing them to roll again exasperated. "I said I'm alright! I need to talk to you, Anthony." "No, what you need is a doctor." "Anthony!" His mouth shot open to counter this sudden show of insubordination, but quickly shut again when he saw that I was serious. He then turned to face Benny. "Alright. Go wait with Benedict over there. I have finish something with…" "No, we need to talk now! This can't wait any longer."

I think the tone of my voice started not only Anthony but Benny and Simon as well. Sensing I would not give up my resolve, Anthony's posture straightened up a tad though his shoulders visibly relaxed. Taking this as his cue to continue, I drew in a long, hard breath, shutting my eyes for second to collect my thoughts. Well, here it goes….. "Anthony, I…. I'm not going back to Brussels." "You're not?" There was a sprinkle of hope in his tone, which I was about to destroy. My lips hesitantly opened a sliver. "No, I'm moving to the Netherlands.

I've got an unconditional PhD offer from the University of Amsterdam."

Despite being outside, you could have heard a pin drop. No one dared make a sound or even move. Anthony's eyes very slowly widened, growing progressively understanding and incensed. Benedict and I could read the writing on the walls, to which he reacted first. He immediately positioned himself in between Anthony and me, looking at our brother with fear. "Now, don't get mad, brother. Don't get mad….." He coaxed in a trembling tone.

Too late. Anthony looked like he could blow any minute and like he was using every ounce of willpower not to throttle me right then and there. "What?" That was all his pursed, enraged lips would let him squeak out for the time being. Both Simon and Benedict peered afraid back over at me, like they were anxiously waiting to hear my response. The only one I think who wasn't scared right then was me. Anthony could be intimidating but he, like our father, never frightened me. Not after living with someone like Grandfather all those years….. My face was calm, firm, and very, very sincere. For what felt like the first time in ages, I was being genuine with him.

"They gave me an offer, Anthony….." "Wha-…..? But I don't… No… No! You've never applied to any PhD programme before. You're not even done Masters!" You could hear the rage in his tone. "Anthony….." My hand rose up a tad. "How… How is this happening!? How did this happen?! You didn't apply…..? When did you apply to Amsterdam?!" Only then did I hesitate again somewhat. Oh boy, this is going to royally piss him off even more, should that be possible. But I've been honest thus far; why stop now? "Er, I sent in the application last April," I admitted, not looking my brother in the eye while I did so.

They all looked completely and utterly scandalized- even Simon. And Anthony's expression…. Let's just say no one was expecting me to say that. Soon enough however, my older brother's face morphed from one of pure disbelief to absolute authority. I think he was pulling out the trump cards in a desperate bid now.

"Turn down the offer." "Absolutely not." "You can't go into PhD yet; you're not married!" He roared back at me. I stood there, still stiff as a board- determined to win the war. I was winning this war…. "I've asked you this before. Change Daddy's will." "You know I can't do that!" His hands went flying up into the air. But you know my resolution, and I could shout loudly too. "Then find me a husband! You have one month to find me a husband. I don't care who he is, so long as he lets me go to Amsterdam for PhD cause I sure as hell am not giving this up." "What about Prince Friederich…..?" My brother began, but I simply shook my head which he seemed to understand. Then he settled down ever so slightly, taking a break from yelling for a second and I saw my chance. My own posture softened a little.

"This is my dream, Anthony. This is what I was born to do, and this is what I've been working tirelessly towards for the past five years. This is the only thing I truly wanted to do for me, since I have no choice in becoming someone's wife…. and my health won't let me ever become a mother." I didn't notice Simon perk up a bit at my saying the last part of my speech. His eyes lit up with realization, enlarging a little. Meanwhile Anthony's face also began to soften; his arms going limp at his sides. I could tell his staunch tenacity was starting to shake. For the first time since I arrived there at the park, this tiny grin blossomed across my mouth. "I want this, Anthony. I don't care if I have to wed to get it. I want this for me." "Baby sister….." He started to say but was interrupted by an unlikely source.

"I'll marry you."

All of us Bridgerton offspring glanced over to Simon in surprise. I don't think I grasped what he'd just said. I mean, I heard it but I doubt my brain would let me properly process it- probably because it's something I never expected or even hoped that he would say. That would be dreaming, praying for too much of a good thing, and I already had an offer for PhD… But Simon shocked us when he stepped up to me; his face genuine and gentle. "I'll marry you, Daphne. Let's get married, and then you can start PhD."

I couldn't say anything; I couldn't do anything. My brain still had yet to understand the string of words coming from his mouth. My brothers were quicker to snap to it than me, and they both looked completely blind-sided. "S-Simon, what are you saying….?" Anthony sputtered. "I think he's being serious, bro," Benny tacked on, not looking away from the duke. Simon however, kept his stare locked onto me. As for me, my eyes were as big as dinner plates and my jaw dropped open unable to breathe. Luckily the duke was more composed than any of us at the moment. His eyes merely softened with tenderness. "You've got an offer, and I'd rather you marry someone I can trust than rush into matrimony with some stranger…. just so you can follow your dreams."

Simon! All I did was gawk at him speechlessly. Simon! He's…. Wait a minute, did he just… propose to me? Like a marriage proposal? For marriage? Me…. marry him? He's willing to marry me…. just so I can go into PhD? He's willing to do that for me? My hands began to shake without my even feeling them do so…. I couldn't feel anything right then. Not the air not entering my lungs, not the summer breeze blowing through the park, not Simon's fingers caressing my cheek to brush some stray hairs away. I merely, simply, plainly, easily, effortlessly looked at him. I looked at him…. and it all came back to me like a flash.

I…. I love this man. I remember the day I realized I did. Oh god, I've grown to love him so much more since then. Every single time I look at him, I fall deeper…. How could I not? He's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. God, loving him was the easiest thing I've ever done in my life. Nothing about him was "work"; there was no "effort". It was effortless…. Loving him was easier than breathing, existing…. I know deep inside my heart that I'll never stop loving him either. I love him; I adore every inch of Simon Basset.

He's the living embodiment of a home for my heart.

Only then did I remind myself to finally take a breath. Just as fast as it crash-landed into me, it…. Yes, I love him so much. I love him enough to put him first. I got what I want, but it's not going to be at his expense. I can't….. when he's so precious, so dear to me. I'd never do anything to hurt him, after all. That would just be unnatural…. Simon watched my lips curl into a heartbroken, soft smile. My head lowered a little in a tender manner.

"No, Simon." His eyes grew shocked. "No?!" But Simon immediately froze when I took his hand in both of mine; my fingers hugging his closely. And my sad smile…. "I love you too much to ask you to make such a sacrifice for me." "Wha-….?" His lips sputtered confused. "You made a vow, and I would never ask you to break it on my behalf. Heh, I know what it's like to keep a vow…. and be so loyal. You are loyal, Simon. It's one of the countless things I admire about you." "Daphne!" He gasped, so entirely taken aback and in awe.

His stunned reaction didn't last too long, though. Soon, very soon, this brand-new smile bloomed across his own lips. As if comprehending what I meant with complete clarity, Simon's other hand reached up to hold my hands back. He brought them close to his heart, not moving his eyes off me the whole time. I, on the other, blinked slightly perplexed by his actions. Simon smiled so warmly, leaning his head in closer to me.

"Daphne, you kind woman….. You kind, kind woman. No wonder Friederich liked you so much. You are so incredibly easy to like….." "S-Simon!" I gasped. He gently closed his eyes for a second. When they reopened, they glimmered in a way I'd never seen before. "Things have changed, Daphne; I've changed….. It's alright, and I'm alright now. I've just grown to love you more than I hate my father; just like I believe that for the first time in your life, you love me more than you fear your grandfather." He said this and my heart skipped a beat. How did he know…..? How could he be so right, and all without me saying anything? How could he….?

Seeing my dumbfounded reaction, he responded with a chuckle. His hand lifted up to touch the side of my head so tenderly, passionately…. I haven't seen a man look at me before like the way he was right now. I didn't know someone could look at me that way…. I wanted to cry, and he wasn't even done yet. "Marry me, Daphne. I'll support you throughout PhD. You can take as long as you want. Hell, you can even get more than one PhD. Whatever it takes…. to make you happy, to keep you smiling.

You have such a beautiful smile."

For a moment, no one verbally reacted. A stunned Anthony and Benedict glanced to each other, and then Benny took a step towards us. "You're serious, Simon? You'll marry my sister?" "If she'll have me," his hand still holding mine gave my hand a squeeze. It was then that Anthony snapped out of his daze, practically running over my side. His hands flew around in a frantic motion. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down! Let's slow down a minute here! Since when do you want to marry Daphne?" He next demanded of the duke. Simon looked at him with one of those looks.

"I've been falling in love with your sister for some time now." "What?! When did this happen?! Is this true, Daphne? Do you…. feel the same way?" I don't think Anthony could bring himself to say the word "love" out loud. But I simply nodded my head. "Yes, I do. I love him, very much so." "W-Well… Why didn't you tell me?" I sucked in a deep, stilling breath. More honesty time. "Because….. you wanted me to get married. It's not just you, Anthony; Daddy and even more so, Grandfather. Simon's right- I'm terrified of the man, but I know he's the one who originally ordered you and Daddy to force me into marriage of status. Daddy and you have just convinced yourselves it's what's best for me because you couldn't bare….." My lips opened then shut momentarily before going on. "Love has nothing to do with marriage, so I thought it wouldn't make any difference. That's why." "Mmmmm, but wouldn't it be a stroke of luck if you did happen to love your future husband?" Benny slyly added, grinning as he spoke. We gazed at him and Anthony seemed to be conflicted.

"Y-Yes, I do want you to get married, but not right now. I thought you would wait at least two or three years. Not so soon….." "I don't have a choice now, big brother. I've already accepted the offer from the university; I'm going to move to Amsterdam next month," I shrugged. Benny scratched the back of his head, growing unexpectedly warm to the idea very quick. "So I guess you and the duke should get hitched this month, then?" This made me and Simon look at each other again; our hands still clasped together. His hand gave mine another loving squeeze. "Well, what do you say, Daphne? Will you marry me?" I gasped again, though I'm not sure why. I guess it was still exhilarating to hear him say those beloved words of tenderness… "I…." That was all I had time to get out before Anthony cut me off abruptly.

"Wait!" All eyes were immediately on our brother once more. He had to take in a few breathes, as if gathering strength to say what he had in mind next. "I'll…. contest the will." "Anthony!" Yet another shocked gasp from my own lips. "Can you do that, bro?" Benny asked, still scratching the back of his head. Anthony hesitated. "I… don't know, but I can try. You should be allowed to marry on your own terms, Daphne," he was now looking right at me. "Oh, Anthony….." Tears were already pouring down my cheeks. He smiled ever so kindly. "The decision is yours, baby sister. I'll let you decide your future, and fully support whatever you choose….. I wasn't lying when I said I love you too. I love you…. Isn't that what love's all about, after all?"

Simon and Benedict couldn't have looked more stunned and impressed at the same time. I was already silently crying to myself, just so wrapped up in their love and my love for them- each of them. I honestly don't know if the will can be altered- Grandfather had a lot of lawyers- but it was Anthony's jester which mattered. It meant the world to me, regardless if it would pan out or not. That and…. Simon's hand was still safely, securely firm in mine. My thumb ran overtop the back of his hand. To love someone so much…. To hold his hand…. This is also something I can see myself wanting in life, which might explain why I didn't turn down Simon's offer. I didn't say "yes" that day.

I didn't say "no" either.