29. I Like You, A Lot

"Why'd you have to embarrass me in front of Prince Frederick like that?" I shot Lord Hastings a glare from behind as we walked down the manor's hallway. He peered back at me from over his shoulder confused. "What? What do you mean I embarrassed you?" My cheeks flushed a little. "You know….. All that stuff you said about seeing me everywhere." "What's wrong with that? It's true." It's true, huh… My fingers twitched a tiny bit as I drew in a deep breath. "You're missing the point. You shouldn't tell his majesty such things; what will he think of me?" "That your presence is so infectious, it's impossible to escape?" He retorted with a classic smirk. This earned an instant disapproving frown. "You're not funny." "I'm not trying to be. Like I said, I was just being honest. If you have a problem with that, it's your issue." "Why do you always have to make things so much harder than they need to be?" I sighed with a long eyeroll. He chuckled, spinning his head back forward. "You worry too much." "No, I worry just the right amount. One can never worry about these sorts of scenarios too much. You're not the one who's going to marry the prince…."

The duke's feet stopped in their tracks here, also causing me to stop in alarm. "Hey! What are you…..?" I began until Lord Hastings gave me another look over his shoulder; his eyes were much softer and soulful this time. It kinda caught me off guard, really. My hand instinctively rose up a bit. "Y-Your grace? What's wrong?" His eyes locked onto mine.

"What would you do… if I forbade you from marrying him? If I didn't give you my consent…." My heart skipped a very fast beat as I stared breathlessly into his piercing gaze. My mouth stammered for a second. "W-What are you talking about? Why would you do that? You don't want to marry me….. Do you?" Silence. "Do you?" I pressed again, a tad louder this time. His eyes finally tore themselves from mine, lowering thoughtfully down onto the floor; I could tell he was meditating deeply. "No, I….. I….." He began but couldn't bring himself to finish his sentence. I gave my head a cleansing shake, suddenly realizing I was in dangerous waters with this conversation. Best to jump ship immediately.

"Right, so why are we even talking about this? You've made it clear to me from the first day we met, you don't want this- our marriage. So why have second thoughts now? We shouldn't hesitate. I….." I paused here for a minute- only a minute so I could remember to breathe. "I know you haven't given me your permission yet, but you will. I'm confident that you will, so then…" "Miss Bridgerton…." I heard his voice once more but decided to ignore it, continuing on like he hadn't just said my name. My lips were starting to quiver again. "Why…? This is such a senseless conversation. I already know how you feel and…" "Miss Bridgerton," he tried interrupting me with a firmer tone, which I still continued to ignore. "I…. appreciate how kind you've been to me and my family of late." "Miss Bridgerton!" No, he can't talk; I don't want to hear him talk right now. I must keep going. "B-But that doesn't change my perspective. I understand that you…."

"Would you shut up and let me speak for one moment, Daphne?!"

My eyes opened wider than I ever remember; his did the same once he realized what he'd just….. Slowly- very slowly- my head tilted up in his direction. He looked as shell-shocked as I did. My jaw, which was already hanging open, took a minute to regain motion control and formulate any words. Or semblance of words. What did he just….? Did he just…..? He didn't call me what I think he called me, did he?

My mouth wanted to say something but everything turned to cotton in my throat. It was a struggle to even breathe normally right now. No man had ever called me by first name except for my family members… Man I loved with all my heart. And Lord Hastings just….. It took him longer than me to catch his breath, but when he did he was able to speak faster than I.

"Miss Bridgerton, I'm so….." "You…. You just called me Daphne," my pointed finger rose up his way. His back arched in dismay and embarrassment. "I didn't mean….! It just sorta slipped out- that's all." "You….. You can't call me that! Only my family and fiancé can….." "But I'm your…. fiancé," he said in a kind of self-realization, his eyes drifting back up to meet mine. Our eyes met, and neither of us dared utter another word. His foot an unconscious step toward me, followed by another, and then another…..

And then another.

By the time Lord Hastings stopped walking, he was standing very near me; as close as he could. It was his turn to part his lips a sliver, refusing to look anywhere but at me. "I am your fiancé." "My lord," I gasped quietly, eyes widening a second time. His foot slid just an inch closer. My heart was racing a mile a minute by now; my hand raised up to my aching chest. What is he saying….? Why now? His eyes lowered ever so slightly- softly. His hand extended out to take mine but stopped just an inch or two short. Our hands lingered there mid-air for a moment. "Stay…. Let me stay with you, near you for a little longer…. Just a bit longer." "L-Lord Hastings," my voice was shaky as all hell. His smile gradually began to return; not smirk, smile. "You're doing the impossible, Miss Bridgerton. You're proving to me that it is possible to find genuine happiness in another person, and I'm happiest when I'm learning all about you." "But why…..?" I breathed so heavily. I was losing consciousness by this point, this was so intense. His smile grew in the margins. "Because out of all the women I've ever fancied in my life, you're the first I've ever found myself liking. I know it's unusual… But I like you, both as a person and woman, Miss Bridgerton.

I like you more than I thought I could, and that frightens me."