85. Look After You

Adam's eyes widened as he turned the corner and saw Sean pressing Kim up against the counter and kissing her. Kim's body jerked and she pushed him away roughly as her hand reached up and slapped him across the cheek.

"Sean, what the hell are you doing?" She asked as she stepped away from him, her breathing harsh and she wiped her mouth unconsciously. Sean's shoulders slumped and he buried his face in his hands as he murmured an apology.

"Kim, I'm so sorry."

Kim caught sight of Adam out of the corner of her eye as he started to approach and she glared at him, telling him with her eyes, in no uncertain terms, that she wanted to handle this alone. Adam's face contorted in anger but he remained standing where he was, just outside the kitchen door.

Sean lifted his face from his hands and looked at Kim.

"Kim, I'm so sorry. I never should have done that." He reached out to her but she stepped back.

"You're damn right you shouldn't have. What the hell were you thinking?"

"I don't know. For the first time in a long time I wasn't thinking and just went with what I was feeling."

Kim regarded him silently for a minute as she saw the agony in his eyes increase.

"Sean I don't understand. Have I ever done anything to make you believe that it was all right to kiss me. If I have, I never meant to because it's not all right. I thought that we were finally back on the right track to being friends"

Sean looked stricken. "No, Kim! No! You've never led me to believe anything. It was all me. It was all me." He mumbled as he buried his face in his hands again.

Kim stepped closer to him again. "Sean, tell me what this was about. A friendly kiss in the tradition of mistletoe is one thing but what this was not. I want an answer. I'm a married woman."

"Kim, please don't make me say it. I can't do this. I just can't." he pushed himself off the counter. "I should just go. I'll get my stuff and I'll leave."

Kim reached out to stop him. "Roman, I don't want you to go. I want you to answer my question."

Sean pulled his arm away from her and his shoulders slumped again.

"What do you want me to say to you Kim? Do you want me to tell you that I'm in love with you. That I have been since the day I first saw you. Is that what you want me to say because it's the truth. I know it's wrong and I have no right to feel this way but I do. And as hard as I try I can't make it go away. And I know it's pathetic. It's terrible to be this way, I, for the rest of my life am going to regret the things that I've done to hurt you. The person I was when I was using and drinking isn't me and I want so much to erase that. To erase the things that I did to you and to Adam and the people you care about. But how I feel about you, it's very real. And I know that nothing will ever come of it. Because you love Adam and because of the horrible things that I've done. But...I don't know. I just thought...I don't know" Roman sighed sadly

Kim looked at him, completely shocked by his admission. She looked over at Adam briefly and saw that he was clenching his fists at his sides and she prayed silently that he'd restrain himself.

"Sean," She said softly, her anger starting to dissipate as she felt sadness overtake her. "I don't know what to say to you."

"You don't have to say anything Kim. I know you don't feel the same way."

"No Sean, I don't. I care about you. I consider you a friend, but I love Adam. There isn't anything or anyone who is ever going to change that."

Sean looked at the floor, finding the pattern of the tile rather interesting. Or was it that he couldn't bear to look up and see pity in her eyes. "I know that Kim. I still can't help how I feel. I'll just get my things and go."

Kim sighed heavily. She was feeling guilty about this and she didn't know why. She didn't have any reason to fell guilty.

"Sean, you don't have to leave. I invited you here for Christmas and I don't want you to leave just because you did something stupid. I have to admit though, this does change the dynamic of our relationship considerably."

Sean looked up at her again. "I know it does. I've crossed a line and I can't take that back." He rubbed the back of his neck tiredly. "But I'm so very, very sorry. You have to believe me. I'm just going to go"

Kim nodded her head. "Well if you think that's best. I'd like you to stay but if you feel you have to go I won't try to stop you."

He went to move and she stepped in front of him. "Sean you're my friend. I like you and I think you are a wonderful man who will make some woman very happy someday. The things that happened in the past are forgiven. You should at least know that. But, I don't know what you want me to say about the kiss"

"Don't say anything then Kim. I'd like it if we could both just forget that this ever happened."

Kim didn't answer him and at that moment Adam decided it was time to make himself known. He'd allowed Kim to handle the situation but now he wanted to make sure that Sean knew that he was there.

"Hey," He greeted, his voice not giving away a thing. "What's going on in here."

Sean's eyes widened but he tried to hide his discomfort. "Um, ah…" He stuttered slightly. "I was just telling Kim that I'm not feeling too well. I've got a headache and I think I'm just going to head out."

Adam's eyes narrowed but again he didn't give anything away. He looked over at Kim who reached for his hand and squeezed it.

"That's too bad. Maybe a good night's sleep will help clear your head."

"Uh, thanks Adam. Goodnight." Sean quickly retreated from the kitchen and Adam waited until he was around the corner and saying his goodnight to everyone to speak up.

"What the fuck was that Burgess?" he hissed none too quietly.

Kim glared at him. "Adam, please keep your voice down. We don't need to let the entire house know what we're talking about."

Adam huffed out a frustrated breath. Kim tugged on his hand and he stepped toward her. She slid her arms around his neck and Adam wrapped his arms around her. He buried his face in her neck as he felt her body trembling.

"Adam, I didn't have any idea what to say to him. I had no idea that he felt that way."

"I knew I should have gone with my first instincts." Adam growled softly, anger seeping out of every pore in his body.

Kim pulled back and leaned against the sink. "What do you mean your first instincts?"

"I told you a long time ago that he was into you. You didn't believe me. I knew right then and there he had a thing for you."

"Adam, I feel just awful about this." Kim admitted as she placed her hands on the sink behind her. Adam stepped closer, just needing to be close to her at that moment.

"Kim, I can't believe that you told him you didn't want him to leave."

"Adam, don't say that. He's leaving, I wasn't going to throw him out. He's all alone and I invited him here as a friend. I won't take that back because he did something stupid. Besides, this isn't our home to kick him out of"

"Kim," Adam hissed again, only this time softer. "He kissed you. He pressed you up against the counter and kissed you. I should by all rights tear him apart. But I let you handle it. I didn't come barging in here demanding that he explain himself and then kick him out the door, although that's exactly what I wanted to do."

"Adam, please be reasonable." Kim pleaded as her head began to pound.

"Kim, I'm being more than reasonable. I understand it's Christmas Eve. But I want you to tell him you're not friends anymore. Don't make me tell him myself because I will if you force me to."

Kim's eyes flared. "Adam, you will do no such thing. If you do I will be so pissed at you. Can we please just let this go for now. I don't want to fight with you about this."

Adam watched her for a minute before turning and walking into the hallway. He grabbed his coat out of the closet and tugged it on.

"Adam, where are you going?" Kim asked as he stepped back into the kitchen.

"I'm going for a drive."

Kim reached out to him. He stopped walking as he felt her tug on the sleeve of his jacket.

"Adam, please don't do this. It's Christmas Eve."

"Kim, I could say the exact same thing to you." Adam responded tightly as he pulled his arm away and walked out the door.

000000000000000000

Kim stood and arranged the pillows on the sofa before walking to their bedroom, still not saying a word to Adam. She was angry at him for leaving on Christmas Eve. Regardless of what happened, he shouldn't have disappeared and left her to make excuses to their friends. At the same time she was feeling guilty for what happened with Sean even though logically she knew it wasn't her fault.

Kim stepped into their room and turned the light on beside the bed. She walked over to the dresser and pulled her pajamas out as Adam walked into the room and quietly closed the door.

He watched her for a second before he walked over to her. He placed his hand gently on her arm and urged her to turn around. When she did, he pulled her into his arms and buried his face in her neck.

"I'm sorry, Darlin." He whispered against her hair.

Kim slid her arms around his waist. "Me too Adam," She whispered.

Adam lifted his head so he could look at her.

"How mad at me are you?" He asked, bracing himself for her answer.

Kim pulled out of his embrace and turned as she lifted her sweater over her head. "I don't think we should get into that tonight otherwise we may be fighting until dawn. Let's just go to bed and we can talk about it in the morning."

Kim unclasped her bra and slid it down her arms before slipping her pajama top over her head.

"Kim, I don't think we should go to bed without talking about this." Adam insisted as he grabbed his sweatpants out of the drawer so he could also get undressed.

"Adam," Kim replied with a sigh. "Please don't push this tonight. I have a splitting headache and I feel bad enough about everything as it is."

Adam slipped his sweat pants on and threw his jeans over the chair.

"Okay, fine." He reluctantly agreed. Maybe she was right. Talking tonight when they both were so edgy probably wasn't a good idea.

"We can talk tomorrow but you should know, Roman isn't invited to Christmas dinner."

Kim looked over at him confused. "What are you talking about Adam? I told you I'm not uninviting him to anything."

"Kim, what do you mean. I thought we talked about this earlier?"

"We did and I told you I am not asking him to leave if he shows up. He was invited for Christmas and I won't kick him out in the cold."

"Kim, he has a home. It's not like he's going to be homeless. I don't understand how you can still want him here after what happened." Adam voice was raising unconsciously as his temper began flaring again.

"Adam, he made a mistake. I'm not sure what I'll say to him in the morning and I'm sure it will be awkward but I am not asking him to leave. He's probably not going to come anyway because he feels so stupid."

"Well he should. He had no right to kiss my wife. I should have belted him." Adam growled under his breath as he moved to pull the covers back.

"Adam, I'm a big girl. I can handle myself and if you had belted him I would have been furious with you. I mean, you did that once, didn't exactly work out for you, did it?"

"You know what Kim? You know what I don't quite understand about this whole thing. It's your complete disregard for my feelings. You care more about hurting Sean's feelings than you do about my obvious discomfort with him being here. Why is that Kim?"

Adam's eyes were flaring with anger as Kim's mouth fell open in surprise over his outburst.

"Adam, how can you say that?"

"It was pretty easy to say Burgess. I've told you that I don't want him here and you keep insisting that you don't care that I don't want him here."

"I never said that Adam." Kim interrupted but he just continued talking over her.

"You didn't have to. You made is very clear when you refused to ask him to leave. I don't want to spend my Christmas with a man who is in love with my wife and had the audacity to kiss her right under my nose."

"Adam, you're blowing this whole thing out of proportion."

"Out of proportion?" Adam stormed around the room, his temper getting the better of him. He thought he had driven all this anger out of himself in the last three hours but he must have been mistaken.

"I walked into the kitchen of our best friends' home tonight and found him pawing you and his lips all over you and you're telling me that I'm blowing this all out of proportion. I think you need to get your priorities straight Burgess?."

"My priorities? What about you Adam? You leave me all alone pregnant and with our son because you don't like a decision I've made. I can't believe you'd do that. Everyone was wondering what happened to you and do you have any idea the tap dancing I had to do to get around telling them the truth. That you got all pissy and walked out because I didn't do what you wanted me to."

Adam walked over to the door. He was going to blow up any second and do or say something he would seriously regret if he didn't get out of that room right away.

"Kim, you were right. We shouldn't talk about this tonight. Goodnight Kim."

He yanked the door open.

"Where are you going Adam? Don't you dare walk out on me again." She warned, her voice hushed since the door was open.

Adam felt a stab of pain in his chest and all he wanted to do was rush over to her and pull her into his arms but instead her turned to face her for a brief moment.

"I'm going to bed Kim. And I don't think it's a good idea that it's in this room right now because neither one of us is going to back down. And I don't want to fight with you anymore. Goodnight Kim."

Sadness and regret crossed over both their faces as he quietly closed the door.

"Goodnight Adam." Kim whispered softly as she flopped down on the bed face first.

000000000000000000

Erin looked over at the suitcases on the bed. They were full to the brim but Erin was sure she had forgotten something. She checked her drawers again and then walked to the closet.

Kane came bounding into the room and jumped onto the bed, settling himself snuggly between the two suitcases.

"Kane, get off the bed." Erin scolded him but he didn't move. He just laid his head on his large paws and closed his eyes.

Erin looked over at him and huffed out a frustrated breath. She walked over to the bed and grabbed his collar gently, urging him off the bed.

"Kane, not on the bed. You know better than that." Erin walked him over to his cushion bed in the corner of the room and he curled up in a ball on the soft material.

"Good dog." Erin said as she gave him his chew toy and patted him on the head before walking back to the closet.

She knew she was forgetting something but she couldn't put her finger on it. Finally she shrugged and walked back over to the bed as Jay walked into the bedroom. He watched her silently as she closed the suitcases and secured the clasps, locking them with the small keys.

Kane saw Jay in the doorway and got up and trotted over to him. Jay patted the dog on the head and scratched his ears before he moved over to the bed and his hand covered Erin's as she started to lift her suitcases off the bed.

Erin turned her head and smiled softly at him as she stepped back, letting him place them on the floor next to the bedroom door.

Jay turned and walked back over to her, taking her in his arms.

"You got everything?" he asked.

Erin nodded, and ran her hand through her hair.

She was leaving first thing in the morning to go to New York for a week with Olivia. They were tying up some loose ends on a case that involved a suspect from Chicago and a rape and murder case in New York.

She didn't want to go.

Her first big trip away from her husband and her children since she'd become a wife and a mother.

The thought of leaving Jay and her babies for a week made her almost sick. But she knew when she came back she'd have a weekend in Wisconsin with the man she loved.

Just the two of them

Erin knew the weekend away for her and Jay was much needed for her and her husband, but leaving her kids with Hank and Olivia for a weekend was almost enough to make her stay behind. Especially since she would already have been away from them for an entire week.

But in reality she knew that the kids were going to be OK. She knew that. But it still didn't help the ache in her heart.

Jay reached up and caressed Erin's cheek with his fingertips as he looked into her eyes.

"Er, baby if you're this upset already, we don't have to go. We can stay here and celebrate New Year's here with our kids. As long as I'm with you, that's all I need" Jay assured.

Erin shook her head "I'm fine. I'm just being silly. I don't know why it's hard for me. They're going to be fine with you all week and I want a weekend when I come home of just me and you"

Erin exhaled and looked at the suitcases "I'm just going to miss our babies"

"Baby, they're going to be fine. I can take care of them." Jay assured with a smile. He really wanted to make a joke, but knew it wasn't the right time.

Erin closed her eyes and sighed at his soft touch as her hand lifted and covered his. Kane barked from his spot by the bedroom door and Erin's eyes opened. She looked into Jay's eyes and smiled ruefully.

"You really should take him for one last walk before bed. I don't want him to have another accident on the living room floor Jay."

Jay nodded his head and reluctantly removed his hand from her cheek. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead as he whispered against her skin.

"I won't be long, Er." He turned and snapped his fingers. "Come on Kane."

The dog wagged his tail and barked again as he followed Jay down the hall and out the front door.

Less than thirty minutes later, Jay entered the house again with Kane in tow. He walked into the darkened kitchen and put fresh water in Kane's bowl so he could have a cool drink. As Kane thrust his nose into the dish, Jay crouched beside him and scratched his neck.

"Oh, Kane," Jay said softly as he heard the shower shut off. "What are we going to do without her?"

Kane stopped drinking and looked up at Jay. He made a soft whimpering sound and rested his head on Jay's knee.

"I know. I'm going to miss her too. I know it's for work, and I'm so proud of her...It's just...I feel like everyone is leaving me these days. But we're going to have a fun week, right? Just you me and the kids" Jay asked as he rubbed the dog's ears.

Kane looked at him for another minute and then resumed drinking his water. Jay laughed softly and scratched his head one more time.

"Well, night buddy."

Jay stood and walked down the hallway. He passed the bathroom and the door was now open and the light was off. Jay sighed and walked into the bathroom and closed the door. He stripped out of his clothes and turned on the shower. He stepped inside and under the stream of hot water.

Jay hoped that the water washing over his body would wash away his anxiety about her leaving. He always knew she had the talent to go far into her career. He never doubted that. And he never doubted that she had the drive and talent to go anywhere her career wanted to take her. He'd never hold her back from that.

Besides it was only a week. He had to keep telling himself that. It was only seven days. It was just that they had never been apart.

Not that being apart would change anything. It wouldn't.

Jay ran his hand over his face and he wiped his eyes with his wet fingers and he opened them and caught a glimpse of his silver wedding band.

He couldn't believe they'd been married for over two years now.

Sometimes it seemed like so much longer and other times it seemed like it was only yesterday she walked down the aisle and took his breath away.

Jay shut the water off and grabbed his towel. If he only had a few more hours with her, he intended to spend every second of them with her so Jay wrapped the towel around his waist and continued to the bedroom.

Erin was standing in front of her vanity, still wrapped in her towel and she was brushing her hair. She must have pinned it up while she showered because only the tips were wet and she was struggling with some knots.

Jay walked up behind her and held his hand out.

"Do you mind?" He asked softly as she caught sight of him in the mirror.

She smiled at him, and her eyes locked onto his.

"Sure," She said softly as she handed him the brush. Jay gently brushed the knots out of her hair as they watched each other silently. Neither one wanted to speak. Neither one wanted to think about tomorrow morning.

When Jay finished Erin took the brush from him and rested it on the vanity.

"Jay," Erin began to speak but he shook his head and turned her around to face him.

"Shhh," he whispered as he lifted his finger to her lips. "I don't want to talk tonight Er. We've talked this to death already."

Jay stepped closer to her, his other hand raising and he cupped her face in his palms as he looked into her eyes.

"All I want to do for the rest of the night is to show my wife how much I love her and how much I'm going to miss her."

Erin's eyes welled with tears and she leaned forward silently, her lips meeting his in a soft kiss. She closed her eyes and slid her arms up around his neck as she pressed herself against him.

They both moaned softly at the contact of their bodies and Jay felt himself harden instantly. Erin pressed her hips closer to him, needing to feel him and Jay's hands slid down her sides to her hips. He grasped her hips and gently pulled her flush against him as he started walking backwards to the bed.

When his legs came in contact with the mattress, he turned them so he could lay her down gently on the comforter. Without breaking their kiss, they both moved up the bed so they were resting in the center. Erin's legs parted slightly and Jay settled on knee between them as he deepened the kiss.

Their kisses were soft and gentle. As much as Jay wanted to devour her and inhale her, he also wanted to savor her. He wanted to love her gently and slowly so that their last weekend together would be something that would carry them both for the long week ahead.

Erin sighed softly in his mouth as her hands gently caressed the warm skin of his back. She slid her hands down and met his towel which was still fastened around his waist. She squeezed his ass, pulling him against her so she could feel his arousal against her thigh.

The sound of panting next to the bed caused them both to turn their heads to see Kane sitting on the floor next to them, watching them. Jay looked down at Erin and they both chuckled softly.

"Kane, go away!" Jay commanded as he reached out to push the dog away gently before his lips descended on Erin's again. Kane moved back a little and sat again, not moving and continued to pant.

Jay's lips released Erin's and he started nibbling on her chin, his tongue swirling along her jaw as he made his way to her ear. Erin slid her fingers in his hair as she tilted her head to the side to give him better access to her neck. Jay took her invitation and sucked the warm skin of her throat softly.

Erin's eyes fluttered as she sighed. She opened her eyes briefly and found she was looking into droopy brown ones. Kane's head was now resting on the edge of the bed and he was watching them silently.

Erin started to giggle and Jay looked up from where he was sucking on the hollow of her throat. Erin motioned to the side of the bed with her eyes and Jay looked to his right.

"Kane, get out!" Jay commanded again, this time more authoritatively. Kane lifted his head off the mattress and turned and slowly walked out of the bedroom, his head hanging down close to the floor.

Jay looked back at Erin. "I'm sorry, Erin." He said softly as he bent to kiss her softly again.

"I love you Jay," Erin whispered into his mouth as their tongues caressed each other's softly.

Jay reached between them and cupped her breast through the towel and he squeezed the soft flesh. Erin arched her back and he reached for the knot in the towel. His fingers brushed her skin lightly as he pulled the towel apart, revealing her naked body to his gaze.

At that moment, Kane jumped onto the bed and stuck his nose between them as he barked, not willing to be ignored anymore.

"That's it!" Jay growled as he stood up and grabbed Kane by the collar. Jay walked over to the corner of the room and picked up Kane's bed. He carried it downstairs to the living room and placed it on the floor and urged Kane to get in as he patted him on the head.

"Kane, you're staying out here tonight. And stop being so weird"

Kane barked as Jay turned around and looked at him.

"If you keep barking and wake the kids up, you're going to be living in the yard"

Kane sighed and circled a few times before laying on his bed.

Jay shook his head and moved up the stairs and back to the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

000000000000000000

"This is the final boarding call for Flight 2052 to New York. All passengers please proceed to gate 35."

The voice over Chicago O'Hare's loud speaker barely penetrated the ears of the two lovers clinging to each other in the center of the terminal.

Erin finally pulled back, her tears still falling.

"Jay, I have to go."

He nodded as he wiped her tears with his thumbs. "Knock 'em dead Erin. It's your time to shine and show the world what you're made of."

Erin reached up and covered his hands with her own. "I'm going to miss you so much." She said, barely above a whisper.

Jay leaned forward and kissed her softly again. "You're not going to have time to miss me. Liv is going to keep you so busy and before you know it, a week will be up. Besides, I'm going to miss you enough for both of us."

Erin pulled away from Jay and looked in the stroller at Caleb and Arden who were oblivious to what was happening. She smiled sadly down at them and bent down to kiss them both.

"Mommy is going to miss you both so much, you have to be good for daddy. And don't do anything cute until I get back. And don't grow either. I'll see you guys on Saturday"

Erin smiled as Caleb and Arden both happily smiled back at her. Not quite understanding that she was, in fact, leaving for an entire week and that Erin's heart was breaking right in front of them.

Erin's exhaled sadly and tried to fight back fresh tears as she looked from the twins and down to the toddler standing next to Jay. Holding onto his leg.

Erin knelt down on the ground until she was level with Everly and she gently reached for her daughter's hand.

Everly's blue eyes were clouded with tears as she looked at her mommy.

"Goin' bye bye?" Everly asked.

Erin nodded as she brushed Everly's dark locks behind her ear with her fingers.

"Yeah, mommy's going to go to New York with Olivia and I'll be back. Remember how we talked about you being a good girl for daddy and I'm going to see you in seven sleeps. And I'm going to talk to you on the phone and hear all about all the fun things you're doing with your brother and sister and your daddy. You guys are going to have so much fun"

Everly nodded as a tear slid down her small cheek. "Me miss you"

Erin felt her heart shatter as she looked at her daughter.

She now knew why Olivia had said goodbye to Hank and Noah at home.

"I'm going to miss you too, baby. But you're going to have so much fun. I promise" Erin assured.

"You goin see Mouse?" Everly asked.

Erin shook her head "No baby. I'm not. I'm going to come back I promise"

Everly stepped into Erin's arms and wrapped them around her neck. "Me wuv you"

Erin closed her eyes as she wrapped her arms around Everly. "I love you, too"

A soft voice spoke from behind Erin. "Excuse me miss. If you are on this flight, you have to board right now."

Erin let go of Everly and quickly kissed her and stood up. She gave the twins one last kiss and looked at Jay sadly before wrapping her arms around him.

Jay released Erin and lifted her carry on bag off the floor. He handed it to her with a sad smile.

They turned and walked to the gate. Erin handed her ticket to the ticket agent who scanned it in the machine.

"You may board Mrs. Halstead. Have a pleasant flight."

Erin turned to Jay again and gave him one last hug.

"I love you Jay," She said with a shuddering breath.

Jay wrapped her tightly into his arms as he kissed her ear. After a moment, he pulled back and cupped her face in his hands.

"I love you Erin. I'll see you in a week. I promise. And then we're going to go to Wisconsin and have so much sex. I hope your IUD is ready"

Erin laughed as she pulled back and looked at Jay before looking down at their kids.

"A week with them, and you'll probably never want to have sex again" Erin teased.

Jay smiled and pulled Erin to him.

His mouth descended on hers and he kissed her deeply, stealing her breath and taking part of her soul.

The ticket agent clearing her throat behind them broke them apart and Erin turned without another word. She was beyond the ability to speak. Jay reached out and squeezed her hand and she squeezed it back before letting it slip from her grasp as she walked toward the entrance of the plane. Before she turned the corner at the end of the hall, she turned and smiled at him, mouthing "I love you," one last time.

Jay blew her a kiss and mouthed his love in return. Erin's eyes brightened slightly and she turned the corner, disappearing from sight.

Once the plane was airborne, Jay turned and walked out of the terminal, heading home with three kids under two for the first time in his life.

000000000000000000

Jay yawned as he held a bottle in each hand and he looked at the twins who were each reclined against a boppy pillow as he fed them. They'd recently started feeding the twins a mix of forumula and cereal in their bottles because Erin's milk supply wasn't keeping up with the twins feeding schedule.

It was a welcome change, to be honest. The twins were sleeping better and as a result so were Erin and Jay.

"Is that good?" Jay asked as he watched Arden suck down her bottle greedily.

Arden's tiny hand raised up and held onto Jay's finger as he held the bottle.

"I'm not going to take it away little piglet" Jay teased as he smiled at her.

His gaze switched over to Caleb who was finished eating. Jay took the nipple out of Caleb's mouth and laid the bottle on the table.

"Everly" Jay called to his daughter who was happily putting hair bows into Kane's fur as the dog patiently laid still.

"Wat?" Everly said looking away from Kane and over at her daddy.

"Can you come here?" Jay asked as he looked at his daughter.

"No" Everly said shaking her head.

"Everly Katherine Halstead" Jay said. "One...Two..."

Everly quickly ran over to the couch where Jay was sitting. "Yes?"

Jay sighed and looked at his oldest daughter. "Climb up here and hold the bottle for your sister so that daddy can burp Caleb please"

Everly climbed up on the couch and looked at Jay as she watched him instruct her on how to hold Arden's bottle just right.

Jay watched for a few seconds as he picked Caleb up and started to gently pat his back to burp him.

"Miss mommy" Everly said breaking the quiet.

"I do too baby" Jay said.

"It snowin'" Everly said pointing to the window.

"I see that" Jay said as he looked at the window.

The phone ringing filled the house and Everly looked at Jay and smiled.

"Dat Mommy!" Everly said letting go of Arden's bottle and climbing off of the couch.

The bottle fell to the floor and the sound of a still hungry Arden filled the house.

"EVERLY!" Jay yelled as he narrowed his eyes at her as she ran to the phone.

The sound of Jay raising his voice startled Caleb who also started to cry.

Jay pulled Caleb to his chest and gently picked Arden up as he tried to soothe the both of them. The ringing phone still filling the house.

Everly looked at Jay as the phone stopped ringing and the smell of smoke started to waft through the air.

"Shit!" Jay yelled laying the crying twins down in their bassinetts before quickly running to the kitchen and turning the stove off.

He opened the door and pulled the now burnt pizza out of the oven. The edge of the hot pan catching the side of his bare hand.

"Fuck" Jay swore as he dropped the pizza in the sink.

"Da-dee" Everly said

"WHAT!?" Jay shouted and looked at Everly who took a step back from him.

"No feel good" Everly said before her small face turned white and she threw up all over the kitchen floor before she started to cry.

Jay looked down at his hand that was red and throbbing from the burn of the pizza pan and shook his head.

000000000000000000

Jay laid Caleb down in his crib and gave one last glance at Arden before walking out of the twins nursery and pulling the door closed behind him.

He walked into Everly's room and saw her asleep on her brand new toddler bed that she'd gotten for Christmas.

He had called Everly's pediatrician after she'd thrown up three more times after the kitchen incident and she'd told him a stomach bug was making it's way around and how to treat it from home.

After a cool bath Jay had finally managed to get Everly to fall asleep despite her sobs for Erin that broke his heart even more knowing she didn't want the comfort of his arms.

He smiled sadly down at his daughter who somehow looked more like a baby and less like a toddler when she was sick.

Jay gently covered her up with her Doc McStuffins blanket and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead before walking out of her room.

The sound of his cell ringing made Jay reach into his back pocket.

"Hey baby, how was your flight?" Jay asked as he walked into the bedroom.

"It was nice. The city is so beautiful this time of year. It's snowing here. I wish you were with me" Erin said into the phone as she laid back in her hotel room bed.

"I wish I was there too" Jay yawned as he sat down on the bed and slipped his shoes off.

"How are things there?" Erin asked. "I can come home if you'd need me too. Liv just thought me coming would be a good experience since I told her I wanted to move up to being a Sargeant one day.

Jay debated on telling Erin about the hell that his day had been. And that he needed her to come home.

He was just about to tell her when his gaze drifted to the picture next to his side of the bed.

It was from their photo shoot a few weeks back.

Erin was holding Caleb and Arden in each arm and Everly stood next to her with her arms wrapped around Erin's neck as she placed a kiss on her mommy's cheek.

Erin's smile was wide her face full of joy and love and as Jay stared at the black and white photo he was reminded of all of the things that Erin had sacrificed in her life.

Sometimes he felt like that was all she did for him, for their kids, their friends and famlies.

"Jay?" Erin's voice broke his train of thought.

Jay smiled at the sound of Erin's voice and he cleared his mind of all thoughts of the day.

"Everything was fine, baby. I just miss you"