26. Chapter 26

Please read the little author's note at the end! Enjoy!

A shrill scream drew Erin from her comfortable position sleeping on her boyfriend's chest to her little girl's bedroom door. Kate appeared to be caught in a vicious nightmare as she struggled against the sheets, emitting another screech that finally woke her up. "Kate, baby," Erin cooed, quickly making her way through the door and to her child's bed, "It's okay, you're okay, it was just a dream."

Kate erupted into sobs, cowering backwards amidst the tangled bedsheets, pressing herself against the headboard. "It's just Mommy, you're okay," Erin held a hand out to the shaking little girl, "You're okay, baby."

Kate lifted her head slightly and regarded her mother with heavy-lidded eyes. "M-Mommy?" She whispered, carefully holding the hand Erin extended, "I-It wasn't real?"

Erin shook her head, "No, no, just a dream." She smiled softly despite her exhaustion, taking in the appearance of her little girl, "Oh, sweetheart, you're soaked." The poor child was drenched in sweat from her nightmare, the polar bear pajamas clinging to her small body in wet patches.

"I-I'm sorry," Kate wept, shivering in her damp pajamas, "I didn't mean to wake you up."

"I was already awake," Erin assured her, although she had most definitely been asleep, "Can we get you changed into some dry pajamas and then you can come snuggle with me and Daddy?"

Kate nodded, and allowed her mother to help her change into some pink and white striped pajamas. "Daddy's sleepin?" Kate asked while Erin pulled the top over her head.

"Mm-hm, but I know he'd still love a kiss from you." Erin hoisted the little girl onto her hip, picked up both Tiger and Lion and carried her baby to her bed, where Jay was stirring slightly.

"There are my two favorite girls," Jay smiled tiredly as he saw Erin enter the bedroom with his daughter in her arms, "Are you okay, Squirt?"

"I-I had a bad dream." Kate whispered, wrapping her arms tightly around her father when Erin passed her off, "It was really bad."

"I'm sorry to hear that, sweetheart." He kissed the side of her small head and settled her against his chest, pulling Erin closer to them as well, "Do you think spending some time with us will help?"

"Uh-huh," Kate replied, already dozing slightly, snuggled in between her parents, "I always feel safer when I'm with you guys."

Jay softly threaded his fingers through Erin's hair as she shifted closer to her partner, "Sleepy, babe?"

"Mm," Erin replied, closing her eyes as Jay's gentle ministrations relaxed her, "Rough one, but resolved quickly."

"I can't wait until he's finally behind bars. Maybe then she'll sleep easier," Jay mused, staring up at the ceiling while Erin drifted off. Kate had been with them for six and a half months. While it had been two and a half since her abduction and six weeks since her emergency surgery, Kate was still paranoid from the experience. The nightmares had gotten slightly better, but after she was forced to testify in front of 'Big Joe', they seemed to return at full force.

Intelligence had been coordinating with NYPD trying to apprehend Paul Jackson and his associate Sarah Harding, but he proved to be a savvy and experienced criminal. Jay was convinced that once he was behind bars, his little girl would sleep easier, as would he.

"Halstead." Jay picked up his cell as he walked toward the Sierra, two reusable grocery bags in one hand. Hank decided that a trip to the aquarium with him and his granddaughter was long overdue, so it was just going to be Jay and Erin tonight for dinner. He had a special meal in mind, but a CI had called Erin as they were leaving the district, so he would be cooking alone. "Hello?" He asked into the receiver.

"Detective Jay Halstead." The man's voice on the other end of the call sounded slippery and evil as he emphasized the ds.

"Speaking." Jay replied, placing the grocery bags in the backseat, "Who is this?"

"I think you know who this is." The man said. Jay felt his blood run cold.

"Well, let's pretend that I don't." He said curtly, "Who is this?"

"I'm the man who keeps you up at night."

Jay swallowed, realizing who was on the other end of the call, "What do you want, Jackson? Why are you calling me?"

Paul Jackson snickered, "I'm just reminding you that the situation you have with my girl is only temporary, but you knew that. I'm coming for her."

"Yeah, right." Jay grit his teeth, "When I find you, I'm going to kill you for what you did to my daughter."

"I'd like to see you try," Jackson hissed, "Speak soon." Jay slammed his hand on the steering wheel, the car eliciting a sharp beep.

"Fuck." Jay ignited the car and headed back for the district.

Jay bounded up the steps two at a time, not bothering to shed his coat as he sank down in front of his computer to set about tracking the number Jackson called from. He tapped the desk impatiently as he waited for the call to triangulate. When his cell rang, he immediately picked it up.

"Jay?" Erin asked, "You there?"

"I'm here." Jay choked out, still waiting for the computer to find Jackson's cell, "What's up?"

"Are you okay?" Erin could tell something was wrong without even looking at her partner.

"I'm fine," Jay replied curtly, "What is it?"

"Well, I'm home, waiting for you." Erin paused, "Are you coming?"

"Oh, um, I forgot to call. I-I gotta talk to this CI of mine," Jay closed his eyes, knowing full well that he was lying through his teeth, "I may be back late."

"Okay?" Erin seemed skeptical, "Babe. Are you sure you're okay? You sound like you've been running."

"I'm fine. I gotta go." Jay hung up the phone as the computer chimed, indicating that it found a location on Jackson's phone. He scribbled it down on a piece of paper and raced out the door, intent on finding the man who abused his little girl and bringing him to justice.

Erin sat on the couch, nervously sipping a beer and working on a cold slice of pizza from the night before. Something about Jay was completely off and she was worried. When she had left him at the district, he seemed fine, bragging about the ragu he was making that he claimed would 'blow her freaking mind'. Now that it was later in the evening and Kate was tucked in bed, she was consumed with anxiety. They had promised to always be honest with one another, and though she hadn't told the truth following her doctor's appointment, the following morning they re-emphasized their commitment to honesty.

At midnight, Erin comforted Kate through a nightmare and headed to bed, now decidedly pissed off that her boyfriend wasn't answering her text messages. She shed her clothes and slipped on a shirt of her own, too annoyed at Jay to rifle through his drawers for something more comfortable. She slid under the covers and stared up at the ceiling, counting the tiny cracks until she fell asleep.

It was three in the morning when Jay stumbled through the apartment door. He traced Jackson's phone to dingy motel on the South Side, left atop a garbage can. Defeated and enraged, Jay drove back to the district, intent on finding some kind of traffic camera in the area that may have picked up the criminal. After two hours of searching and turning up empty handed, Jay drove home. He parked the car in the garage and went across the street for a drink to clear his mind. Multiple shots later (he lost count), he finally remembered why he was so angry in the first place. He had a child and a woman who loved him, waiting for him back home.

It was the old Jay who got drunk alone in bars, gutted by memories and the stress of the job. It was the old Jay who had nobody waiting for him back home, who could stay out until sunrise and sleep until the later afternoon. But that Jay was long gone, and the current Jay was grateful to have a family to come home to. As quietly as his drunk self was able, Jay pushed open the apartment door and crept toward the couch. He knew Erin was probably asleep, so he crashed in the living room, not bothering to untie his boots.

Two hours later, Erin rolled over and blearily reached her arm out, expecting to find the warm body of her partner. Instead, she felt cool sheets against her fingertips, instantly waking her up. She sat up and glanced around, Jay nowhere in sight. Erin quickly shed the blankets and padded across the living room to check on her little girl but stopped before she reached the door, taking note of the figure on her couch.

Sprawled out across the cushions was her boyfriend, lying on his stomach with his face mushed against Giraffe, who didn't make it to bed with Kate. His boots were still on and had left a muddy puddle in their wake, a result of half melted snow and Chicago street grit. As Erin leaned closer, she caught a strong whiff of alcohol and grimaced. "Jay," she hissed, shaking his shoulder urgently, "Jay, wake up."

The hungover detective lifted his head and cracked open an eye to see his girlfriend standing above him, looking none too pleased. "Hey," he croaked, "Sorry, I didn't want to wake you."

"Christ, Jay, you smell like Herrmann used you to wipe the floor at Molly's." Erin wrinkled her nose, "Can you please bathe before Kate gets up?"

Jay staggered to his feet and stumbled forward, but Erin stepped back so he wouldn't touch her, "We can talk about what happened to you when you're not still drunk." She frowned and turned on her heel for her daughter's room.

Kate was sleeping peacefully on her back, Tiger and Lion nestled safely in her arms. Erin smiled and carefully crawled into bed beside the little girl, hoping to get a few more hours of rest before Kate woke up. Hank had exhausted his granddaughter at the aquarium, afterwards taking her for burgers and ice cream. She had been asleep on his shoulder when Hank knocked on the door and didn't even fully wake up when she had a nightmare.

While Jay slept off his hangover, Erin and Kate ventured into Chicago to do errands. Erin had no desire to have it out with Jay just yet and was making a point to steer clear of the apartment until she had cooled down herself. When Kate asked why Jay was still in bed, Erin told her that he wasn't feeling well, which wasn't untrue but was definitely not the whole truth. She hated having to lie to the brilliant little girl, but she didn't exactly know how to tell a four year old that her father was egregiously hungover and didn't come home until the wee hours of the morning.

Erin and Kate returned to the apartment after a trip to the grocery store, anticipating that they would make homemade pizza for dinner. Jay was sitting on the couch watching a hockey game when Erin pushed the door open, arms full of bags. "Daddy!" Kate exclaimed, carefully setting the bag she had been tasked with carrying on the ground. She rushed to the couch and into Jay's arms, "You feelin' better?"

"Much better, now that you're here." Jay hugged her tightly and breathed in the scent of her shampoo, "Did you and Mommy have a good day?"

"We did er-ins," Kate informed him, "So we can make pizza for dinner."

"Mm." Jay kissed the top of her head, "That sounds delicious." He glanced over at Erin, who was busying herself by putting away the groceries, "You know what, Squirt? I have to chat with Mommy about work, so do you think you could go get started on a Lego castle in your room? I'll be there in a bit to help, okay?"

"Okay." Kate looked skeptical but slid off Jay's lap and headed for her bedroom. Jay reluctantly made his way to the kitchen, stopping by the breakfast bar.

"Hey," he managed, his girlfriend still rearranging the fridge, "We should talk."

Erin whipped around, closing the door and folding her arms across her chest. "Yeah, we should." She eyed him, still obviously angry, "What the hell happened to you last night?" He opened his mouth, but she cut him off, "And I saw the Sierra in the parking garage, so I hope to God you didn't drive last night."

"I didn't," Jay said quickly, "I, uh, the drinking came after." Erin raised her eyebrows and leaned back against the fridge in anticipation. "When I was in the parking lot yesterday, I got a phone call from an unknown number." He glanced toward Kate's room and lowered his voice. "It was Paul Jackson."

"What?" Erin hissed, eyes wide, "He called you?"

Jay nodded, "And um, I tracked his cell. I mean, it was a burner, but he left it in trash can outside a motel on the south side."

"You tracked it?" Erin was positively fuming, "And you went to go find him, alone? Are you out of your fucking mind?"

"I wasn't thinking," Jay replied hurriedly, "And he wasn't there. So I went back to the district to go over traffic cam footage. And then I drove home."

"And then you took a bath in scotch?" Erin quipped, "Jay, we have partners for a reason. For backup. And I am your partner," she poked him in the shoulder with force, "At work, and at home."

"I know, babe, and I'm sorry." He emphasized, "I-I was just so angry that I couldn't come home. And so I walked to a bar, the one down the street. It was stupid and-"

"Jay, you getting drunk is the least of my worries right now. You could have gotten yourself killed!" Tears filled Erin's eyes but she fought to keep them back, "What would I have done if anything had happened to you, huh? What about Kate?" She brought a hand up to her face, "Please, just, go be with Kate for a little while. She's been asking about you all day and I told her you were sick."

Jay reached a hand out to touch her shoulder but Erin pulled back. "Please, Jay. Not now." She turned and headed for the bathroom, locking the door behind her.

Instead of homemade pizza, Jay ordered Thai food because he didn't have the heart to cook. He and Kate sat on the floor building a castle while Erin took a long shower. When the dinner arrived, Kate helped set the table and sat patiently, waiting for her parents to join her. She could sense the tension in the apartment and was becoming increasingly worried.

Erin emerged from the bathroom, face pink from the steaming hot shower. As the family ate in silence, Erin barely glanced at Jay. "Are you not hungry?" Jay asked Kate as she twisted noodles around a fork. "You've barely had two bites."

"And you didn't finish your sandwich at lunch either." Erin brought up, looking anxiously at her daughter, still avoiding Jay's gaze.

"I'm okay," Kate said, keeping her eyes focused on the plastic plate and the many noodles that were still there.

"You promise to tell us if you don't feel good?" Jay reached out to stroke Kate's hand, but she shoved it into her lap and nodded. "Alright, why don't you brush your teeth and start getting ready for bed?"

Wordlessly, Kate got up from the table and headed for the bathroom. When she heard the water running, Erin turned to her partner. "She knows something up."

"I gathered that much," Jay scoffed, taking a piece of uneaten broccoli of Kate's plate. "She obviously knows that you're pissed at me."

"I'm not pissed at you!" Erin raised her voice, but lowered it quickly. "I'm frustrated. I just don't know why you didn't tell me that you were going to find Jackson. I didn't know what to tell Kate when she asked about you, because I didn't know myself! How do you expect me to react, Jay? Just sit here and pretend it's fine that you went after a criminal and didn't tell me? And the fact that you won't talk to me about it?"

"Your being stressed out is stressing Kate out," Jay stated, growing frustrated with his partner.

"Don't you think I know that?" Erin hissed. "She hasn't been eating because she's brilliant and can sense the tension between us. And how can I not be stressed out when my partner doesn't come home and then tells me he sought out a criminal without backup?"

Jay sighed and ran his hands over his forehead. "Look. I'm sorry I went after Jackson without backup. I'm sorry I came home late last night and I'm sorry I made you worry. Next time, I'll talk to you, okay?"

Erin exhaled, still reeling. "That's all I ask." She stood, gathered the plates and placed them in the sink. She rested her hands on the counter and leaned over, lost in thought, before Jay wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I love you," he whispered into her ear and kissed her neck gently.

She spun around and cupped his scruffy face with her cool hands. "Don't you dare scare me like that again."

"I won't." He ran his hand over the back of Erin's head. "I really am sorry. I wasn't thinking," he paused when Erin raised her eyebrows, "Well, I was thinking, but only that I wasn't going to let that bastard anywhere near my girls."

"Oh yeah?" Erin pulled back and looked into his eyes. "I carry a gun, Jay. We work in the same department."

"It's not that you can't handle yourself," Jay rushed out, "It's that…he has caused so much pain to my family, I couldn't bear the thought of him ever laying a hand on you." He blinked, trying to keep the tears out of his eyes, "He hurt Kate, so badly."

"I know, babe." Erin wrapped her arms around her partner's neck, "And we're gonna get him. But we're going to do it with backup, okay?"

Jay nodded and kissed his girl's lips, "I'm sorry again."

"Mm, this helps," Erin giggled, locking her lips with his again, "You can apologize in earnest tonight."

"Mommy? Daddy?" Kate's voice battled the noise of the bathroom fan. "I need you!"

The couple pulled apart and raced into the bathroom to find Kate standing on her bathroom stool with her pajama shirt pushed up to her armpits. Her toothbrush was lying in the sink while she wore a frightened look. "I-I was just brushing my teeth and I bent down and I noticed that…" Kate trailed off, pointing to her stomach that had gotten swollen and irritated. "I-I don't know what happened." She was close to tears.

"Are you in pain?" Jay knelt down next to her and examined her stomach. It had healed considerably in the weeks since the surgery, and while the outside stitches were long gone, the abdominal rifts were still healing.

The little girl shrugged her shoulders, tears now spilling over her cheeks. "Damn," Erin muttered, also crouching down. "Jay, I think it's a combination of stress and lack of food."

He sat back on his shins. "You haven't eaten much today, have you Squirt?"

The little girl shook her head, tears streaming down. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Hey, hey, it's okay." Erin stroked her hair. "I think your meds are too powerful to be taken without a good amount of food and we didn't eat enough today. Do you think you can try to eat a little bit more?" The little girl nodded tearfully and allowed her father to carry her back into the kitchen.

Kate visibly relaxed in Jay's lap as the family sat back down. The tension that hung in the air had dissipated significantly and Erin smiled warmly at her partner. "Better, baby?" She asked Kate after a few minutes, who nodded in response, munching on a piece of chicken.

"I feel better," Kate murmured, growing tired in Jay's embrace. She glanced at her mother. "You guys aren't worrying me anymore."

"We were worrying you?" Jay asked, shooting a look to Erin. "What do you mean?"

"You were sad and Mommy was so worried," Kate mumbled, her eyes closing. "I got worried and when I'm worried I'm not hungry."

"Well, you don't have anything to worry about now, okay Squirt?" Jay kissed the top of his little girl's head. She nodded in response, closing her eyes again.

Erin accepted her sleepy daughter from her partner's arms and carried her toward the bathroom. "Let's brush your teeth and get you into bed."

"Do you get scared?" Kate asked as her mother slipped her into bed.

"Sometimes." Erin sat down on the bed and tucked the covers around her little girl. "Sometimes I get scared when I can't see Daddy when we're working. Or when you got sick, I was really scared. Why? Are you scared, baby?"

Kate nodded her head. "I get really scared of the bad men." She shuddered, "But I don't want to be." She looked away sadly. "But every time I try to be brave when I'm scared my tummy hurts and I don't want to be alone."

"Oh, babes." Erin stroked Kate's cheek. "It's okay to be scared sometimes. And you know that whenever you're hurting Daddy and I want you to come get us, no matter what. It doesn't mean you're not brave. You've been through a lot and you're only four." She looked lovingly at her daughter. "Please don't be worried about being brave. Daddy and I will keep you safe, okay?"

Kate nodded. Erin kissed Kate's forehead. "Good night baby, sweet dreams. I love you."

"I love you too." Kate whispered, slowly succumbing to sleep.

Erin quietly closed the door to Kate's bedroom and padded to the couch where Jay was seated. She settled herself beside him, draping her legs over his lap and nestling her head against his chest. "We're going to get him, you know," she murmured, pressing her lips against his neck, "And she's going be okay."

Jay nodded, gently toying with her hair, "I know. I'm sorry, again. I-I just-"

"Shh, babe." Erin cupped his face with one hand, placing her thumb over his lips, "It's okay. You're okay, Kate's okay and we're going to get through this. Together."

He nodded again, resting his head against hers, "I was thinking, that, um, maybe I should start going more regularly to those veteran support groups. Just since, uh, things got a bit out of control last night and I've just been thinking all day that if God forbid I had hurt you, or Kate-"

"Jay," Erin cut him off again, "If that is what you need to do, you have my full support." She kissed his lips, "And I know how hard this has been for you and if talking to people is what you need, then you should do it."

"I-I guess I just miss Mouse," Jay said honestly, starting to thread his fingers through Erin's hair again, "I mean, he and I went through everything together. And when he left, we got Kate and everything else sorta took a backseat. But now that we're settled and things are finally getting to a normal, I just don't want to disappoint you again."

Erin felt her heart clench, "We all make mistakes, babe. Trust me." She shuddered slightly at the rough patch she hit after losing Nadia, "And you are an amazing dad, okay?" Erin shifted and stood, extending her hand out to her partner, "Now, take me to bed, Halstead." Her eyes twinkled as she raised her eyebrows suggestively.

Jay grinned and swept his girl off her feet, carrying her toward the bedroom.

Hi! So I have loved writing this story but it is coming to a close in the next few chapters. That being said, I have been inspired by a couple of reviews to continue it with a few single-stories (potentially as Kate grows up and how Erin and Jay grow their family). I do plan on starting this soon although it may take some time. I also haven't decided if it would be within this story or on a separate one, but anyway, I would LOVE some requests! Let me know what you want to see and if I can make 'em happen I'll def give you credit!