48. Chapter 48

Never fear, things will start looking up shortly! Feel free to leave a review :)

"Detective Lindsay, you and Detective Halstead both work under Hank Voight in Intelligence, correct?"

"Yes," Erin said, hands folded tightly in her lap as Brian Atwood asked her questions. She had been moved to a separate interview room following the conversations with Danielle Marcus. Atwood scrawled a few notes down on his legal pad before glancing up at the nervous detective.

"And I take it you and Voight are very close? I see in your file that you lived with him when you were a teenager."

"Yeah, um, he and his wife took me in when I was fifteen. I uh, had it rough growing up. He looked out for me." Erin glanced down, trying to discern what the man continued to scribble on the paper.

"Was this before or after your citation for solicitation and drug possession?" Atwood asked pointedly, "Were you living with the Voights then?"

Erin widened her eyes in surprise, "No, that, that was before."

"Mm, and your mother, Barbara Fletcher? Are you still in contact with her?"

"No," Erin said quickly, "I have spent much of my adult life trying to distance myself from her. We do not speak."

"Well, you certainly come from a family of trouble. She's been in and out of jail, rehab, the whole nine yards. Do you do use drugs, Ms Lindsay?"

"No!" Erin exclaimed, "No, I do not."

"Smoke?"

"No?"

"Drink?"

"Uh, I drink beer and I have whiskey on occasion, but I don't go out and get hammered, if that's what you're asking."

"Does Detective Halstead use drugs?"

"No!" Erin shook her head adamantly, "And he doesn't smoke, nor do we go out very often. Mr. Atwood, we have a four year old and we work in an elite unit. We would rather spend time with our daughter than do any of the things you are mentioning."

"Hm," Atwood raised his eyebrows, "You were on medical leave a few weeks back, due to a concussion. How was that concussion sustained?"

"A man broke into our house," Erin said through gritted teeth, "And whacked me over the head with the butt of his gun."

"And where Kate Halstead at the time of this incident?"

"With my partner," Erin informed him, "I had gone to the grocery store to get some more fruit and cereal, and Jay brought Kate home ten minutes later."

"What if she had come home with you?" Atwood asked, "What would have happened to her?"

Erin was quiet. She hated thinking about the moment when Jackson broke into their apartment and bashed her over the head, but hated even more to think about what could have happened if Kate hadn't gone home with Jay that evening. "I-I don't like to think about that," she said finally, "I don't want to know what could have happened."

"This was the same man who was just convicted for a number of crimes, one of which was abuse of a tender-aged child?" Atwood set his pen down and looked less menacing.

Erin swallowed, "Yes, uh, he was just convicted. He…was abusing her. Beating her. Raping her." She swallowed again, "We found her in his stash house in July. Bloody, bruised, malnourished. He did that to her. He and those other bastards." Erin gripped her hands tighter together, "So I hope he rots."

"As do I," Atwood affirmed. "Now Detective, I recognize that Kate has faced a very turbulent upbringing, and have read through her file repeatedly. Many of the injuries she sustained do match up with what our physician found. Can you tell me about what happened when she was taken from you back in October?"

"We normally drop her off at school together, but uh, Jay had to meet with a CI so it was just me. And I told her we were going to get pizza for dinner. And I went to work, same as always, until Sergeant Platt came upstairs and said that Kate's teacher was on the line, wondering if Jay and I were okay, since I guess the people who took Kate said we were shot," Erin paused, recalling the sheer terror that ripped through her body when she realized that their little girl had been taken.

"We found out she had been taken to New York, and we've worked with a unit out there, so we were in contact with NYPD and they found Kate hiding in the basement of some dingy hotel. Kate said that Jackson and Hannigan twisted her arms and hit her, she-she had a broken wrist and sprained arm," Erin closed her eyes, "And a concussion and bruised ribs. We took her to the doctor when we got back again, just to see, and Jay's brother, who's a surgeon, checked her out too, and we thought everything was fine."

"And then she got sick," tears welled in Erin's eyes, her voice threatening to break, "She got sick and she threw up and we woke up to her vomiting blood. And they said her ribs caused her stomach to tear, aggravated by a stomach ulcer because of all the stress she was under." Erin looked pleadingly at the DCFS caseworker, "Look, we just got her healthy again. She's finally off the medicine, last weekend we took her to another kid's birthday party. Kate's doing normal kid things, not spending the day worrying that some man is going to hurt her. So please, I need to get home, and I need my daughter there with me too."

Following the interviews, Jay and Erin sat down with Kate's social worker, Betty Klein, the sergeant from the CPD who was Richard Tomlinson, DCFS workers Danielle Marcus and Brian Atwood, Kate's foster mother Colleen Humphrey and former ASA Steve Khatt. According to those in the room, the reason Kate was removed from Erin and Jay was due to a comment by Margaret Cunningham, the woman who had stopped by to take Kate when Jay was listed as a missing person. Following up on the scars on Kate's back, DCFS realized the grave errors they had made in not realizing Kate's situation before she was found.

Since Kate's transition into Jay and Erin's home had been quickly orchestrated by Susan Perkins, the state felt it was necessary to follow up, especially considering what had happened to the little girl while still under police custody. Khatt's explanation of Kate's abduction emphasized that it was not the fault of Erin or Jay, as the criminals that they encountered were highly skilled. "It was the state that dropped the ball with Kate, not us," Jay argued as Marcus explained the situation, "She is being punished for this but literally nothing she did was her fault, but I guarantee you that she thinks she is the one to blame for the situation."

"Ms Klein has emphasized to Kate that the current circumstances are not her fault," Marcus replied, "She has been told that for her safety, she has been removed from Detective Halstead and Lindsay's care, but that we are in the process of evaluating the situation and she hopefully should return home shortly."

"It doesn't change the fact that you dragged her away from us," Erin glared at the woman, "And we have spent months trying to convince her that she is safe. We're worried that all the progress we've made with her has been shot to hell because DCFS screwed up in the first place and had no idea she was being abused."

"Detective, I can assure you that we are doing everything in our power to keep your little girl safe and happy," Colleen Humphrey said, her voice calm and kind despite the situation, "I understand your frustrations and they are completely valid. My husband and I have experience with children in Kate's situation and are more than equipped to handle it."

"Who's with her now?" Jay swallowed, "If you're here, who's with my daughter?"

"My husband," Colleen replied, "We have three biological children and have been fostering another young boy for a few months now. Kate is with them at our home, and I can assure you, she is in good hands."

Erin and Jay silently sat on their couch, acutely aware that they were missing their little girl between them. They had barely spoken following the marathon of interviews and interrogations, neither willing to voice their concerns and doubts about the system's ability to keep their child safe. Jay had stalked out of the building positively seething, while Erin had reached a level of calmness that in turn made Jay even angrier. "How are you so chill right now?" he snapped, standing up from the couch to fetch a beer from the fridge, "You've barely said a word."

Erin widened her eyes incredulously, "What do you want me to say, Jay?"

"Anything would be better than silence," he scoffed, downing half the bottle in one go, "It's like you're fine with the fact they just ripped Kate away from us."

She stood angrily, "Is that what you think? That I'm okay with this? Are you fucking kidding me? Of course I'm not okay with this, with any of this. But I know how the system works, and berating the social worker isn't going to get Kate back any faster."

"And letting them walk all over us is? They think we're shit parents Erin, that's what happened. And they realized that I have no business being a father because I'm so fucked up and you are the only chance we have at getting her back and you barely said anything." Jay gulped the rest of the bottle, reaching into the fridge for a second.

Erin's features softened as she slowly approached her rapidly-unraveling partner. Carefully, she removed the now half-empty beer bottle from his clenched fingers and sat it on the counter beside the other bottle. She rested a comforting hand on his chest, "Talk to me, babe."

"I'm fucking livid," he choked out, snatching the bottle up and knocking back its contents, "Because they didn't even know that little girl existed until we found her and now they think we're the problem. That I'm going to hurt her. And-and-and I think they're right."

"Jay." Erin took the empty bottle from his hands again and cupped her face with her cool fingers, "You cannot think like that, okay? And this is not on you." She swallowed the growing lump in her throat, "Today, Atwood brought up the fact that I have priors for solicitation and a history of drug abuse, not to mention an estranged mother who has been in and out of prison and rehab for the past thirty years. You and I both have skeletons but it doesn't mean that we're not what is best for Kate. You know it and I know it."

She moved her hands to run her fingers through Jay's hair, feeling his hot breath exhale in short, angry pants, "I'm angry too Jay. But we need to get her back, even if that means playing by their rules."

He nodded, unable to keep the tears of frustration at bay any longer. Painful sobs ripped through his throat while Erin held him close, running her hands up and down his back, across his arms and over his cheeks, trying to provide as much comfort as possible. "How is this happening?" he managed, tears subsiding slightly, "I just-I don't get how Kate has been through hell and we've been through shit and it's like a never fucking ending cycle of watching my little girl get ripped away."

"I know, I know," Erin soothed, "But she's got both of us in her corner, fighting for her. And we're not letting up, okay? Promise me, we're not letting up."

He nodded weakly, allowing the gentle ministrations of his partner to slow his rapid heart rate.

"Kate, honey, you really need to eat something," Colleen Humphrey said gently, "I'm concerned that you haven't eaten anything in nearly two days. You're going to make yourself sick sweetie, please."

The little girl stared at the bowl of oatmeal but did not budge. Colleen had even cut up a banana and some strawberries, two of Kate's favorite foods, but the child continued to stare at the bowl like it was empty. The other children in the house were off playing in the playroom, but Kate remained at the table, sullen and sad. "We're not going to force you, sweetie, but you really need to eat. I know you don't want to be sick."

"I just want my mommy and daddy," Kate whispered, tears dripping down her cheeks, "I want to go home."

"I know, honey, I know," Colleen sat beside the frightened little girl, "And I know it's scary. But I spoke with your parents yesterday, and they're working really hard to get you home. It's only going to be a few days longer."

"'s not fair," Kate whimpered, "H-how come I always get taked away by bad people?"

"Oh, sweetie, the Department of Children and Family Services aren't bad people. They were just worried about you and wanted to make sure you were safe. But I think they know that your mom and dad are good people and they're trying to get you home as soon as possible." Colleen smiled kindly, "Can you please have a few bites of banana for me? Just a few?"

"I'm not hungry," Kate murmured, pushing the bowl away, "I don't feel like eatin'."

"Your mom told me that when you get nervous, you don't like to eat," Colleen reached a gentle hand out to Kate, but the little girl immediately put her hands in her lap, "I know you're worried about not getting home, but you need to trust me, okay?"

"When I trust people, I get hurt." She looked up at the kind mother in front of her, still not convinced that this was a person worth trusting. In her short life, Kate had learned very quickly that trusting in people often led to bad and often painful situations. Before she met Erin and Jay, Kate learned from the people Mr. P brought back that trusting in him only led to pain.

Even though she trusted Erin and Jay with her whole heart, Kate was reluctant to trust anyone else. She had been taken away from her parents once before because she trusted the police man who came to her school, and that had backfired terribly. While she hoped that her parents were coming back to get her, she was still worried that maybe they wouldn't.

"They took my kid away."

Jay sat in the church basement with other veterans on the Sunday evening, still mildly hungover from the night before. Following the beers and marathon breakdown in the kitchen, Erin retreated to the bathroom for a shower before bed. He declined in the invitation to join her, instead choosing to pound the remaining four beers in the six-pack to chase down a couple shots of whiskey. Kate wasn't around to see him a mess, and Erin sure as hell wasn't in a place to judge him as he bitterly recalled one horrific evening after Nadia had died when he spent the night holding her hair back. He slugged back another shot, nearly shattering the glass as he set it down on the counter.

Erin had just stepped out of the shower and was wrapped in a towel when Jay came barreling into the bathroom to empty the contents of his stomach. "Babe, babe," Erin had rushed out, tucking the towel under her arm so she could provide comfort, "What just happened?"

Jay just sat back on his heels with a groan, placing his sweaty forehead on the cool white porcelain. Sympathetically, Erin rubbed his shoulders, determined to talk to her partner more when he had a clearer head and empty stomach.

"They think that because I uh, was diagnosed with PTSD, that I'm a risk for my kid. And the worst part about is that they're probably right." Jay exhaled, rubbing his hands together, "My girlfriend um, she's got some stuff in her past too and last night, God, I was a mess. I uh, drank. And I've really been tryin', to you know, be a good dad, get away from the shit I used to do, but last night…I was just so mad. Because they took her away. Because my girlfriend thinks that the system is going to do our kid justice, but I, I don't think that it will. I'm used to getting fucked by the universe, and I think I really fucking deserve this."

"Your kid doesn't though, bro." A gruff voice from across the circle piped up. Jay lifted his head, recognizing that the voice belonged to one of the older guys in the group. He had only seen him a few times, mostly because he only came on Tuesdays and wasn't accustomed to the Sunday evening crowd. "Your kid needs you to fight for her. And I know, I've been there. But gettin' wasted and feelin' shitty ain't the way to get her back. You gotta great girl too, if she has the sense to wait it out."

Jay nodded meekly, processing what the gentleman was saying. "I-I don't think I'm good enough for her. For either of them, really. They, they need someone who isn't going to get drunk or flip out or keep them up at night because-"

"So be that guy," the man said simply, cutting Jay off mid-sentence, "Be the guy your girls need. That's what gonna get your kid back."

Jay returned to the apartment feeling lighter than he had in days. Kate's social worker was stopping by the apartment Monday morning, giving Jay renewed hope that they would be united with their little girl soon enough.

He unlocked the door and stepped inside, overcome by the scent of disinfectant and other cleaning supplies. "Erin?" he called out, not seeing the familiar brunette head amid the Clorox wipes and Swiffer, "Babe?"

After glancing into the bathroom and noting that it was absolutely spotless, Jay looked into their bedroom. The bed was perfectly made, pillows fluffed and night tables gleaming with polish. He raised his eyebrows in surprise, as his girl was not one to clean. Granted, the social workers were due and he knew Erin wanted to make a good impression, but normally left the cleaning up to him. "Er?" he called out again, heading for Kate's bedroom. The living room was littered with cleaning supplies, some of which Jay had never seen before. Erin must have gone shopping.

He felt his heart crack a bit as he caught sight of his partner, sitting atop his daughter's bed. The bed had been made with fresh sheets, the rumpled pile bound for the washing machine sitting in the corner. Kate's stuffed animals were sitting against her pillows beside an incredibly broken Erin Lindsay. "Babe," Jay breathed, quickly crossing the room to sit beside her, "What's going on?"

Erin shook her head quickly, scooting away from her partner, "I'm sorry, you weren't supposed to see me like this. I, uh, did you just get home? How was it?"

"It was alright," Jay replied, tucking a tendril of hair behind her ears, "You've been crying."

"Uh, yeah," Erin sniffed, running her arm across her face, "I was cleaning because the social workers are coming over tomorrow and I just wanted to make it look good you know, like we're competent parents who keep a clean home but…" she trailed off, gesturing to Kate's bedroom. Jay peered around, not noticing that there was any kind of mess.

"It's clean, Er," he reassured her, "The whole place is sparkling."

"I know," Erin whimpered, "I…just miss our baby, that's all." She swallowed the lump in her throat, "And I just have this feeling in my gut, you know? That she needs me. And I know I'm not her biological mother but-"

"You're her mother," Jay interrupted, "No matter what, you are Kate's mom. You have a connection with her that nobody else has, Erin, that's why you know that she needs us."

She nodded shakily, "Kate needs us Jay. I-I can't explain it and I know she's needed us the past few days but in the last hour my heart just aches. And I know it's Kate."

"Okay," Jay nodded, "I'm going to try to see if Danielle Marcus will answer a call. I mean, I know it's Sunday night but it can't hurt, okay?"

Erin nodded again, running a hand over Tiger's head.

"Kate?" Betty Klein entered the bedroom where Kate was staying during her time at the Humphrey's. Colleen had explained that Kate had not eaten her dinner and excused herself for bedtime, but the little girl was not beneath the covers when the social worker stopped by for a check-in.

"She was in here a few minutes ago," Colleen said, beginning to panic, "Kate, sweetie, it's okay."

Kate slowly emerged from the closet, appearing pale and shaky in her pajamas. "Kate, are you alright?" Colleen knelt in front of the quivering child, "What's wrong, honey?"

"M-mommy and D-daddy said I gotta tell an adult if I don't feel good," Kate choked out, looking nervously up at the two women.

"You're not feeling well?" Ms Klein knelt beside Colleen Humphrey, "Colleen said that you didn't eat your dinner. Maybe you're hungry?"

Kate shook her head feebly, "I want my Mommy and Daddy."

"I know sweetie, you just gotta hang on for a little while longer," Colleen reached an arm out, "Come on, let's go get something to eat, it might make you feel better."

Tears filled Kate's eyes, large droplets now trickling down her cheeks, "My-my tummy really hurts."

"Probably because you haven't eaten, honey," Ms Klein smiled gently, "I'm sure there's still some food you can have."

"We saved a plate," Colleen said, "Come on, sweetie, let's get some food in you."

Kate shook her head again, sinking down to the floor, "I'm dizzy," she whispered, her voice muffled as she wrapped her arms around her tiny body.

"She hasn't eaten in three days. I think we managed a banana last night, but that's been it," Colleen hissed glancing over at the child, "We can't force feed her. Her mother mentioned that if she doesn't eat, she can hurt her stomach. I think we need to bring her to a doctor."

Betty Klein glanced over at the weak little girl and nodded grimly, "Alright, I'll take her to Northwestern."

Soooooo based on a few suggestions I may start wrapping this up...to be honest I don't have anything in the pipeline for another one but could continue this for a few more if y'all don't mind waiting ~a week in between updates.