14. Chapter 14

A/N: Sorry it's been such a long wait! HSC is KILLING ME! I've still got a few exams to go but I'm writing this on one of my few free days in which motivation to study is extremely low. The chapter is a bit roughly done and there's heaps of dialogue, but hopefully the wait was worth it ... !

Shoutout to my friend, guest reader "douche" last chapter. Promise I won't make this a porno dude ;)

Thanks for all your lovely reviews; and those who guessed did guess right! I drew inspiration from Ross and Rachel in "Friends" when Rachel tells Ross she's pregnant, and from "One Tree Hill" where Haley asks Brooke to be Jamie's godmother.

And for those who wanted Teddy to be the surprise guest sorry to disappoint, he was there at the party but I have a bigger purpose for him later on in this story ...

Enjoy!

Jay woke up the next morning reaching his arm out to his left, only to feel cold sheets beside him. Frowning he turned and opened his eyes and realised Erin wasn't beside him. He sighed and slowly got out of bed, the regret of the night before hitting him like a tonne of bricks. Jay slowly walked into the kitchen where he spotted Erin making breakfast.

He walked up quietly until he was standing right behind her and wrapped his arms around her, letting out a small chuckle as she jumped slightly before relaxing into his arms.

"Morning." he whispered against the crook of her neck.

"Hi." Erin spoke softly and Jay could hear the tinge of sadness in her voice.

"Erin, about last night ..." Jay started but stopped quickly, not sure of what to say.

Erin shook her head moving out of his hold to "Don't worry about it."

A breath of frustration left Jay and he quickly reached out to grab her wrist and pull her towards him "It wasn't- I shouldn't have spoken to you in that tone, you were only trying to help and I'm sorry I got so defensive."

Erin nodded silently finally making eye contact with him "Look I get why you were upset, honestly I'm not angry. But, can I suggest one thing?"

Jay nodded waiting for her to continue "After you go see Will, maybe consider dropping by Dr Charles? I know you said you'd come to some of my sessions, but I think maybe talking on your own too will help."

"... Can I think about it?" Jay smiles sheepishly

Erin leans up and kisses his cheek "Of course."

Jay pulls Erin into a hug, holding her close as her head lays on his chest.

"You're my family, you know that right? You, me, Ben. That's all I really need." He says after a few minutes.

Erin smiles and mumbles against his chest "You're my family too."

Jay sat nervously in the break room of Chicago Med. Will was supposed to meet him over 30 minutes ago, and he normally would've left by now but he needed to talk to Will before his father did.

Jay could feel his anger growing at the mention of his father. Aaron Halstead dropping into town unexpectedly was never a good sign, and Jay knew that there was an ulterior motive other than wanting to 'wish his grandson'. He hadn't seen his dad since the day he left for the Army, and he had hoped to never see him again as long as he lived. It had thrown Jay for a loop last night when he had shown up on his doorstep, and even thought Erin understood Jay still couldn't get over the way that he spoke to her.

...

Jay slammed the door in his father's face, staring at it for a few minutes before Erin walked up to him placing her hand on his shoulder.

"You Okay?" She asked softly.

"Yeah." Jay nodded quickly walking to the kitchen and starting to clean the dishes from dinner.

"Jay.." Erin started but he cut her off.

"It's fine Erin. Really."

Erin can hear Ben whining from his room and goes in to check on him, making sure he's settled before coming back out. She leans against the wall watching Jay scrub the dishes furiously.

"Are we really not going to talk?" Erin asks again.

"What is there to talk about Er, my Dad's here. I'm not going to talk to him." Jay shrugged, not turning to face her.

"I don't know Jason, You tell me." Erin could feel herself getting frustrated with him, but she wasn't backing down from this conversation.

"I changed my name when I joined the Army. Is that what you wanted to hear?" Jay bit back, ditching the dish he was watching to turn and face her.

"I want to know how you're feeling Jay! Your dad just showed up, after years of not speaking to each other, and you don't have anything to say about that!?" She exclaims.

"It's none of your business Erin! He's my family and I will deal with it how I choose!" Jay yelled back.

"...Fine." Erin says, her voice conveying her hurt at his words "I'm going to bed. You deal with your family, however you want."

Jay sighed watching Erin walked away, knowing he fucked up. "Shit." He mumbled hearing the bedroom door shut forcefully, Erin trying to control her anger so as not to wake Ben.

...

He knew that, compared to previous fights, what he'd say wasn't that rude, but she was only trying to help him and he completely shut her down. He went into defensive mode and had been rude and he knew it was the wrong thing to do. He just hoped he could find a way to make it up to her, because as far as he was concerned things weren't okay. He didn't want her to think that he didn't consider her his family. Truthfully, she was the only person he's ever truly considered family. His unit was his family, but Erin was more than that. He knew, no matter what happened in life, they would always be together. They would always be family.

"Jay." Will said as he came in the door "Sorry man, the E.D. got slammed. Some idiot drunk-driver slammed into a bus, there were so many people getting checked out I couldn't get away before -"

"Will relax, it's alright." Jay chuckles "I can come back if you're busy."

"Nah it's okay, they've got it all under control now." Will smiles sitting across from his younger brother "What's going on?"

"Dad's back in town. He came over last night after the party demanding to wish his grandson happy birthday, although I don't know how he found out, and then said he wanted to talk. But I didn't let him."

Jay can see Will hesitate for a moment "I've, kind of, been talking to him."

"What?" Jay bites out "You told me you two stopped talking after you moved back to Chicago!"

"We had!" Will explains, trying to salvage the conversation with his brother "We only started talking a few months ago. He called me last week wanting to make plans and I said no, and when he asked why I kind of let it slip that it was Ben's birthday."

"Dammit Will!" Jay springs up from the couch and begins to pace around the break room "How could you talk to him!? Do you not remember the hell he put us through. The hell he put Mum through!?"

"Jay, he's changed. You don't know the whole story okay?"

"I don't need to know the whole story Will. He's an asshole, and he was a shit father. And I don't want him anywhere around me, Erin, or my son."

Will raises his hands up in surrender "That's your decision Jay, but I've gotten to know him again. He's changed, and if you don't want to know him that's fine, but you can't stop me from getting to know him now."

Jay releases a frustrated breath, closing his eyes for a moment to calm himself. he sits back down again and looks at Will "I know. I'm sorry, I can't be mad at you for wanting to get to know him. I'm not going to stop you, but I can't do this again Will. He's hurt me too much already, and I have Ben to think of now. I'm not willing to put my family in a position to get hurt."

Will nods "I get that Jay. But just consider hearing him out? We can all go to dinner, or we can just meet for coffee. Erin and Ben can stay away from him okay? It'll just be us."

"I'll think about it okay?" Will can hear the tension building in his voice again.

"That's all I'm asking." Will smiles "Look, I got to go check in on a patient, we'll talk more later?"

Jay nods "I got to get back to work anyways. I'll see you later."

Will moves to give him a quick hug, he knows Jay is trying to hide the anger and hurt at the knowledge that he has been talking to their Dad.

"We're good right?" Will asks nervously.

Jay pats his shoulder gently "Yeah, we're good." He says as he walks out the door.

"I'm surprised to see you here. Erin mentioned that she suggested for you to come see me, but I didn't expect it to be so soon." Dr Charles says as he sits across from Jay in his office.

"Yeah, I was visiting Will and all of a sudden I was up here." Jay lets out an awkward laugh, taking in the surroundings of the white-wall office.

Dr Charles smiles "I know this might be a bit uncomfortable for you Jay, there's no pressure to talk. If you want, I can talk, or ask questions. Or you can tell me why you're here."

"Maybe...Maybe a bit of both? I talk and you ask questions?" Jay replies nervously.

"You're nervous?" Dr Charles asks, Jay nods "How comes?"

"The last time I was in a therapist's office was for a psych evaluation after Mouse and I were let go from the Rangers."

"And that was a bad experience for you?"

Jay shrugs "The session itself was fine, it just brings up a lot of bad memories for me, with everything that had happened at the time."

"That's understandable. So, how about we just focus on why you're here today?" Dr Charles offers.

There's a long pause as Jay thinks his words through "My dad's back in town. We haven't seen each other in over 10 years, not since I left for the Rangers."

"Have you had any kind of contact with your father since?"

Jay scoffs "I called him once when my mum was dying. They were still legally married at the time, but my mother was diagnosed just before they started their divorce proceedings, so everything got put on hold so she could start treatment."

"Your mother had cancer, If I'm not mistaken?"

Jay nods "She had breast cancer when I was 10, and she was in remission for 8 years. Just after I graduated high school she fell out of remission. She didn't tell me at first, she knew by then that I had signed up for the Rangers and she didn't want me to put my life on hold to take care of her."

"So, how does your dad tie in here?" Dr Charles asks.

"He wasn't there for her. I mean, I get that they were divorcing by then, but she was still his wife. He's one of the best doctors in Chicago, he could've tried to at least pull some strings, get her into a good facility. She was barely affording the local hospital fees. He should've helped her out."

"Do you resent him? For leaving your mother without help."

"I guess I never really thought about it. I was angry at the time. I guess, now it's more about the fact that he was never there. Not for me anyways."

Dr Charles frowns at his statement "What do you mean by that?"

"My Dad always favoured Will more than me. I mean sure he was rude and verbal to both of us kids, and my mum. But Will was always planning to be a doctor, it's what out family tradition was, but Will had always had a passion for medicine. Especially when our mother was first diagnosed, I remember him telling her he was going to find the cure for cancer, and that he would make her better, and he was only 12 at the time."

Jay takes a few breaths, trying to regain his composure. Talking about his mother always made him emotional "I think my Dad always hated the fact that I was different. I was always playing cops and robbers with the kids on my street, I took criminology pre-courses in high school, I took Legal courses. I would always read the case studies on different criminals and different offences and how the police would handle the situation. I was always going to be a cop. That was always the plan for me. And I don't think my Dad ever truly forgave me for abandoning the Halstead tradition."

"So, how do you feel about him being back then?" Dr Charles adds.

"... Scared."

"Oh him?"

Jay shakes his head "I'm scared of what him being here means for me, for my family. He's never cared about what I wanted, or how his decisions affect my life. I have Erin and Ben to think about now. Whatever he wants from me affects them too."

"It's understandable that you're feeling that way." Dr Charles agrees "What happened when you saw him?"

"I kicked him out. I didn't want him around Ben or Erin."

"So you don't know what he wants? Don't you think you should maybe hear him out, maybe if you do it'll get him out of Chicago quicker."

"Maybe." Jay mumbles "I just worry that letting him in means he won't leave my life again. I don't want to give him the opportunity to get his hooks back into me. Will may want to have him in his life but I don't."

Dr Charles puts down his notepad, taking off his glasses and placing it all on the table next to him before leaning forward in his chair "Jay ... May I offer you some advice?"

Jay stays quiet, allowing the doctor to continue "I think, if you don't want to have your father in your life, that's your choice. But you should talk this over with Will and Erin. Like you said, they're your family. And no matter what you decide this still affects them. Whether or not you choose to hear what your father has to say, you still control his influence over you. You can meet him once and be done with him after that, or you can choose to not hear him out and not allow the possibility to let him into your life. No matter what, you decide whether your father can get come back into your life after that first meeting."

Jay nods his head in agreement and Dr Charles speaks once more "I have another patient in two minutes, so if you don't mind I'd like to set you a task. Whether or not you come to see me after is fine, but talk to Will and Erin okay? Discuss everything, and make a decision that you're 100% sure you're comfortable with. Okay?"

"Yeah, that sounds good." Jay says standing up and walking with Dr Charles to the door "Thank you Dr Charles."

"Please, call me Daniel." Dr Charles smiles and watches as Jay walks out the door and heads towards the exit of the hospital.

Jay walks out of the entrance to Chicago Med and gets in his car. He takes a few deep breaths, Voight isn't expecting him back today since the team went home during his meeting with Dr Charles. He picks up the phone and presses the number 1 on his speed dial.

"Hey babe." Jay smiles hearing Erin's voice "Are you on your way here? I think Ben's missing his dad."

"Yeah, but I was wondering if we could drop Ben off with Voight for an hour or two tonight? I was hoping we could have dinner with Will."

"Yeah, I'll call him now. I'll see you when you get here." Erin smiles even though she knows Jay can't see her. She doesn't care that he son is looking at her like she's a crazy person, Jay's opening up to her, and that's what matters most.

A/N: Okay, so this is not my proudest chapter but I covered a lot of the dialogue and stuff from Jay's past that I needed to get out of the way. Next chapter will have more Ben, Jay and Will with their Dad and Jay with Erin. And Teddy will be making an appearance in a few chapters time!

I'm going to try and implement a three-week-update scheme so I can update both my CPD stories as well as my OTH story.

Please review - they make my day! - and give me some ideas for what you guys would like to see in the upcoming chapters and what you'd like to see happen with Jay's Dad. I have a plan but I'd also like to know what you guys as readers would like to see.

Hope you all are having a good weekend!

- Maddie :)