34. Fiddle Me This

Chapter 34: Fiddle Me This

Well, this is exciting!

We were at the local shopping center just doing a little shopping. Mostly, this trip was about Hop Pop restocking on ascots. He goes through a surprising amount of them. Honestly, I didn't even know anyone who did' drive around in a van solving mysteries still wore those.

But anyway, while he was out, I spotted a notice in the public square that Amphibia's Got Talent was coming to Wartwood! This was one heck of a big deal. Who knew they had that sort of thing here in Amphibia? Then again, I suppose the thirst for fame and attention is a universal thing.

Now, normally I would jump at the chance. Back home, we used to dream of taking Sasha and the Sharps to US Idol, So You Think You Have Talent, or one of the dozen other shows like them. But we didn't have Sasha, we didn't have half of the Sharps, and the remaining Sharp didn't have her bass. I was going to have to sit this one out.

But we did have one little pink frog who could play the fiddle and was eager to show the world his talent. And if I couldn't perform myself, well, I was definitely gonna support my bro. Besides, we kinda had to win since I bought a lot of stuff from Bog, Bath and Beyond and I had to pay HP back. Incidentally, you wouldn't believe how easy it is to get a mortgage from an Amphibian bank.

What surprised me was how crazy into this Hop Pop got. Usually, he gets cranky about anything new or modern, but he went all in with this for some reason. He spent all night coming up with this whole elaborate act for Sprig, complete with theme, choreography, special effects, to the tune of Flight of the Moth by Nikolai Ribbitsky Kroaksakov. I've been put on costume and makeup. I was thinking maybe something like Stardust-era Bowie, you know, all sparkly and otherworldly.

I wonder if we're putting too much pressure on Sprig? After all, all this does depend on his performance. I'm out because of the above reasons, and Polly, well, her idea of "singing" is closer to some sort of siren-like wail. But Sprig just got into this for fun, and this is all getting very serious very fast. No wonder child stars go crazy. Who'd wanna be one of those, am I right?

…yeah, so, HP's pretty much gone full stage mom by now. It's like something straight out of one of those awful reality shows on the Used To Be About Learning Channel that I totally don't watch. I wish I knew why he's so obsessed all of a sudden, but it looks like it's seriously starting to wear on Sprig. It's also gotten so distracting that I haven't been able to concentrate on Sprig's costume. Seriously, the first few attempts have been undescribably bad, like, some kind of fashion horror show. I know can do better than this; I used to do all the Sharps' outfits after all. I just can't focus.

I really hope HP lets up by the time the tryouts come around because I don't think we're gonna make it otherwise.

Well, here we are, it's the day of the tryouts. The amphbian equivalents of Adrianna Latte and Bryan Seafoam are judging, and it looks like a lot of locals have shown up to try out. So far, what I've seen doesn't worry me a bit. I think Sprig's got this.

One thing that makes this different – and I have to say more interesting – is that the judges can catapult anyone they don't like off the stage. I bet it would be a lot more fun if US Idol or The Anonymous Singer implemented that to give the contest a bit more in the way of stakes, and I'm not just saying that because I got to watch them launch Mayor Toadstool. Nope. Nuh uh. Totally non-biased observer here.

So, here's the deal. I made Sprig this super-sparkly moth unitard, complete with wings that are even more sparkly and glow-in-the-dark deely-boppers. He starts playing his fiddle solo, and at the apex, we hoist him into the air so that the moonlight catches him at just the right angle. We're gonna need more than just natural talent here… we need to dazzle the judges with spectacle, too. This is for all the marbles, after all.

Looks like he's on next. I'd be worried, but the competition hasn't exactly been stellar. I think we've got this one in the bag.

Well, things didn't go exactly how we planned them.

Well, they were, at the start; Sprig was playing flawlessly, and we timed the flying stunt just about perfectly. You could make out tears in the judges' eyes. It was beautiful… right up until the moment a giant bat snatched Sprig right off the rig.

We had to think really fast at that point. HP had me use the judges' catapult to launch him and Polly at the bat. Once I got them up there, Hop Pop managed to pull himself near the bat's ear, and then… well, it was Polly's turn to "audition". Her "singing" managed to drive the bat so crazy it shook all three loose and flew off, hopefully never to be seen again.

Well, I guess that was that, right? Nope, as it turned out, we won! The judges thought it was all part of the act, just like in the movies! I've always known movies are the source of all wisdom, and there's your proof right there!

So, we're on to fame and fortune, right? Well, no. Sprig never really wanted any of that, he just wanted a chance to perform. It was HP who got all caught up with turning this into a big deal. It turns out he'd run into an old friend whose business wasn't doing so well at that got hm all obsessed with providing a better future for his kids, and… well, I guess I could see that. I'm kinda just glad this was one we could blame on the grown-ups for a change.

Well, at least the big trophy should be enough to pay off that mortgage… and maybe a few more things…

A.N.: Well, this one was surprisingly difficult to write, Maybe because Anne is once again not the focus, or maybe because so much of it is dedicated to montages and musical performance scenes. Oh well, they can't all be masterpieces.

Jose: Thanks!

Schweenieboy: They are pretty adorable.

Gregorian12: Thanks!

Snake screamer: His appearance last episode was a surprise to be sure, but I love what they did with him. Basically what if Willy Wonka became Immortan Joe? Actually, WB probably could do that crossover if they wanted…

Next: The Big Bugball Game