33. Cursed!

Chapter 33: Cursed!

Well, it's market day again, and I can't help but think about how much has changed from the first time I was here, months ago. Back then, people wouldn't even make eye contact with me, let alone talk to me. Nowadays, they'll stop, chat, joke around… it feels nice. Almost like Temple Day back home. But with less old ladies trying to pinch my cheeks or humiliating myself in Thai language class.

I have to say it's kinda starting to feel like home.

There's one particular someone I try to avoid prolonged eye contact with, though, and that's Maddie. I mean, she's… well… I don't really know much about her other than she's… you know.. super creepy… and that stare… the one that just bores into your soul.

And there's the whole matter of her stll being engaged to Sprig. Yeah, remember that? We've all just kinda forgotten about it… in fact, I'm pretty sure her dad never brings it up anymore… but it's still hanging over us to the point that Sprig hides whenever she's around. That and it's a major obstacle to Sprivy (aka OTP 4eva!), and while I'm not doing meddling anymore, the engagement has got to go,

But how does Sprig "break up" with her if he's too scared to look her in the eye?

That's where I come in.

It started back in sixth grade, where Sasha was going with Billy Hoffman, really more because of the prestige of dating someone than any real feelings. Anyway, she'd grown tired of him but didn't really want to deal with the breakup, so she had me do it because I'm good with people. I'm proud to say I was able to let him down so easily that he was actually happier after the breakup than before it. Anyway, word got around, and a couple of days later Yoko Nakamura asked me to help her break up with Dan Luzhenko. The day after that, Keisha Brighton wanted me to end it with Mark Madiera, and the day after Brad Burton wanted me to break it off with Steven Yap… and so on, and so on… by the time graduation rolled around, people were calling me the Breakup Queen. The name followed me all through middle school (along with some of my more bitter victims dubbing me the Angel of Death…. Well, not all breakups are clean).

So, I offered to do it for Sprig too. Only… I'm also too scared to look her in the eye! Ah well, there's always texting! Technically it was a paper airplane with a breakup note on it, but potato-tomato. The important thing is she received the message, nobody's soul will be devoured by demons, and Sprig is free and clear to date Ivy, get married, have lots of adorable tadpoles that Aunt Anne can spoil rotten… nope, getting ahead of myself. Let's get him to ask her out first. Then babies. The hard part is done. Now I've just got one problem… see, we accidentally bumped into Barry the candy man and made him drop his basket of berries. He brushed it off – not surprising, since Barry has to be the most cheerful guy I've ever met – and even gave us free lollipops to show there were no hard feelings, but I still feel bad for him. If I see him later, I'll offer to do some chores for him. And if he offers to pay in candy, all the better.

When I awoke the next morning, something felt very off. My skin felt oddly prickly. I haven't exactly been shaving my legs since getting here, but this felt… different somehow.

I tried to yawn as I opened my eyes, but it came out wrong. Like more of a… squawk, almost.

For a moment, I dismissed it. I figured all I needed was a glass of water to clear my throat. So I got up, all the while scratching at the prickles on my skin.

And then I noticed what at first seemed to be stiff hairs sticking out of me.

No, not hairs. They were different. Thicker, flatter… almost like…

Another squawk came out of my mouth. I clamped my hands over it, realizing what the "hairs" actually were.

Feathers.

And I'm not the only one who's got weird transformation biz going on. Sprig woke up with his eyeballs covered with fur, which I just can't imagine how gross that could be.

Hop Pop concluded that we'd been struck by some kind of curse. Incidentally, today I learned that curses and dark magic exist. So yeah, just one more crazy thing to worry about. Now… who would do this to us? Well… who was someone we recently wronged that totally looks like the kind of person who would be into dark magic? All signs pointed to Maddie.

It was obvious what needed to be done… to me, anyway. We had to apologize to Maddie. Beg, if necessary. Groveling wouldn't be too out of the question. Anything. Because judging how the hair was starting to spread over Sprig's face, this curse was just getting started, and I did not want to see where it ended up. I tried to convince Sprig to suck it up and face his fear of talking to Maddie, but he's convinced he can somehow figure out a way to break the curse. I doubt it, but I might as well let him try.

Well, it's been three hours. Sprig is now pretty much a big ball of hair with arms and legs. And me? I've gone full bird. Brown feathers, beak, yellow feet, wings for arms, but somehow I can till use them as regular arms for some reason…

Worse, I'm starting to act like a bird. I've got this urge to preen myself, and every once in a while I find myself pecking at the ground for live bugs and worms. I've felt them, wriggling down my throat…. And the bird part of me liked it. Also, I have this weird urge to spin around, pump my fist and shout "WHOOOOOOOOAAA!" for some strange reason. Being a bird is just… weird and disturbing. But hey, I can fly, right? Nope! I don't even get the one good thing about being a bird.

Sprig is nowhere close to finding a cure. Who knew throwing a bunch of random crap into a pot while having no clue what you're doing wouldn't fix anything? Me. I knew. And I was done humoring him. He was going to have to just apologize, whether he wanted to or not, and if he refused, I was going to drag him there kicking and screaming. I do not want to spend the rest of my life having to eat gravel to digest my food!

Fortunately, Maddie just happened to show up at that moment with this week's bread order. Almost too conveniently, but hey, it saves time. Finally… finally Sprig apologized, only to find out Maddie wasn't the one who cursed us. In fact, she was offended we even suggested it. Turns out, Maddie's one of the good guys. She dabbles in the dark arts, but only to help people.

Shame on us for judging her based on looks. I of all people should really know better right now.

So, Maddie didn't do it, but she was able to do some magical mojo that traced it back to the caster. A house filled with dark magic stuff... and candy?

Okay, if I was going to guess who cursed us, I wouldn't have gone with Barry the Candy Man. Turns out those berries we made him drop were really rare and valuable and he can't get more for ten whole years. I mean, if he just told us, we could have made it up to him somehow, but he's very concerned with his cheerful image, so, instead… vengeance schemes!

*head slap* The curse must've been in the lollipops...

It just goes to show, don't judge by appearances… again…

Anyway, what came next was an epic magic battle, just whoosh! Boom! Sparkle! Bang! I'm kicking myself for not recording it, but, trust me, it was awesome. In the end, Maddie was able to find a way to reverse the curse, hitting Barry with both our curses while curing us. She was prepared to leave him like that as a punishment for misusing magic, but this whole situation was kinda our fault in the first place, so Sprig asked her to undo the curse… which she did, after extorting about ten pounds of candy from him.

So that was it. The curse was lifted, Sprig and Maddie are friends now… just friends… and aside from the occasional urge to peck at the ground, there are no lingering aftereffects.

Now I just need to get Sprig to ask Ivy out…

A.N.: Yes, I know that in "Commander Anne", Sasha was revealed to be attracted to women, but trust me, she had no emotional investment in the relationship. She just liked the notoriety.

Schweenieboy: You sure you're reviewing the right chapter there, guy?

Jose: Hindsight is always 20/20; besides, he's got his own secrets he's keeping.

Gregorian12: I suppose.

Next: Fiddle Me This