47. Quarrelers' Pass

Chapter 47: Quarrelers' Pass

So, good news: We're halfway to Newtopia! Making good time, too: It's only been a couple of weeks. Of course, that's still two whole weeks we've all been stuck inside a small space, And that can really grate on people's nerves. Especially with Sprig and Polly's sibling rivalry kicked up to around 83rd gear. The two of them have arguing almost constantly, which isn't so bad when they're not constantly in our faces, but they are. Constantly.

It got so unbearable, in fact, that we had to kick them out of the Fwagon. Not permanently, of course, just until they can get along without driving us crazy.

So, here's the deal; the road through the Rana Mountains splits into two paths that eventually meet up. One path is wide enough for snail-driven wagons, and the other's a foot path that's only wide enough for a couple of people. The foot path has been dubbed "Quarrelers' Pass" because it's designed so that two people have to rely on each other if they want to get through, so it's perfectly built to rebuild trust and friendship between feuding companions. To be honest, though, I'm okay if it doesn't really work, I just want a few hours of peace and quiet.

Well, that was a mistake.

Without Sprig and Polly's incessant arguing, there's plenty of peace and quiet, sure. The peace is nice but the quiet… the quiet can take on a weight of its own, to the point where it feels like a burden weighing down everything. It's like a vacuum, and one develops an overwhelming need to feel it with conversation. Any conversation, no matter how awkward that conversation is.

And that's when Hop Pop asked me if I have a boyfriend back home.

Now, I'm not exactly proud of what happened next. I certainly didn't mean to do it. It was a nervous reflex action. See, what passes for my love life is "I really, really don't wanna talk about it."

Long story short, I pushed HP off the Fwagon.

I helped him back up right away, of course, and blamed it on a muscle spasm, which I told him was a totally normal human thing, and hoped he'd drop it. And he did… for a while. Then he started to pry again. I figured I probably couldn't get away with kicking him off the Fwagon a second time, so I just made up a fake boyfriend, Cliff (can you guess what I was looking at when I thought the name up?). I figured maybe he'd drop it after that, but he kept going, trying to give me romantic advice. I have been drained by ticks, fallen into bramble patches, been electrocuted… multiple times, had my arm broken, and have been on fire, and I can say that, without exaggeration, this hour has been the worst torture I've ever been through. It was a relief when Sprig and Polly joined back up again. I was hoping they'd start fighting again – anything to change the subject – or at least tell us about their trip, but they seemed oddly reluctant to talk about it. Which prompted HP to go right back to talking about my fake boyfriend.

And once again, I panicked and kicked him off the Fwagon. Unfortunately, this time we were on the edge of a cliff and he went over the side. Thankfully he managed to snag something with his tongue… a cactus. So it'll probably be a while before he can talk again. Thank frog.

A.N.: And there it is, the shortest chapter thus far. Sorry, but there really wasn't much to work with here. Hopefully the surprise I have for you next time makes up for it.

MarMarFaAnne: No doubt! Their version of Dr. Seuss probably has a kill count. If you look at some of the background teeth, there are a couple that could be Marcy and Sasha, so maybe they knew about it but Sasha figured that enough time had passed for Anne to get over it? As for the future… you'll see what's coming when we get to it.

Unknown Guy: You'll have to wait and see what the Chapter for Maddie and Marcy looks like.

Jose: I figure it's like Molly's thing with stage magic. She's been hurt, so it colors her thoughts at all times.

Ashley: Well, it could also be a Kick Buttowski reference. And don't worry, while we know the journal ends on "Battle of the Bands" before Sasha gets her hands on it, I do have plans for season 3… two sets of plans, in fact.

Snake screamer: Thanks!

Next: Kindred Spirits