42. She's Coming Back To Us

It’s been a week since the Halloween party, and Waverly has had nightmares every night since. Even though Nicole has been sleeping in Waverly’s bedroom with her, she doesn’t actually sleep in the bed with her. It’s too much for Waverly to have someone next to her in the dark room when she’s abruptly woken up from her dream. They learned that the hard way when Waverly had woken up from one of her nightmares to find a body lying next to her and frantically began hitting and kicking Nicole, yelling at her to “get away”. Nicole had quickly turned on the light and eventually Waverly realized it was her, but ever since then Nicole had been sleeping on the floor in her sleeping bag. And even though her back had been extremely sore and her neck had been stiff for the past week, she’d much rather sleep on the wooden floor where she can keep an eye out for Waverly and wake her up from her nightmares than downstairs on the cushiony couch.

There hasn’t been much physical contact between the two, understandably. Occasionally Waverly will curl up on the couch next to Nicole as they watch TV, and sometimes she’ll give the redhead a side hug or hold her hand for a few seconds, but everything is always instigated by Waverly, and the occasions have been few and far apart. They haven’t kissed, and they definitely haven’t been intimate, which was what Nicole had expected.

But overall, life for Waverly had been work, food, hang out with her sister and girlfriend at the homestead, and then sleep. She hasn’t seen any of her friends, nor has she had a day off from the coffee shop. She was supposed to have one today, but she insisted on going in anyways. Nicole and Wynonna both had work, and she really didn’t want to stay at the house by herself all day. And she definitely wasn’t feeling like going out and doing anything recreational, so work seemed like the best option.

After locking up the shop at closing time that evening, she finally made it home to find Wynonna and Nicole in the kitchen. Wynonna was stirring some sauce in a skillet and Nicole was draining some spaghetti noodles over the sink.

“Are you two…cooking together?” Waverly asked with a quirked eyebrow as she slowly set her purse down on the table. She looked at them suspiciously.

“Of course we are! I’m a top-notch chef.” The older Earp stated proudly as she exaggeratedly stirred.

“Yeah right.” Nicole rolled her eyes. “I just asked Wynonna to stir the sauce so that it didn’t stick to the pan while I got the noodles. She literally picked up that wooden spoon 20 seconds ago…”

Wynonna scowled at the redhead. “Boo. You’re no fun.”

“That makes a lot more sense though.” Waverly chortled.

“Well, it may not have been made by me, but I hope you’re in the mood for spaghetti and vegan meatballs, because Haughtstuff here made enough to feed a village.” There was a bit of judgement in her voice as she gave Nicole a look.

Nicole glared at the darker brunette. “For the last time, the extra large packages of spaghetti noodles were on sale, and it was easier to just go ahead and cook the whole thing.”

Waverly shook her head. “That is a lot of pasta, babe.” She giggled as she took in the sight of the giant pot of noodles.

“I know.” Nicole chuckled lightly as she looked lovingly at her girlfriend.

The older Earp threw her hands in the air. “Hey! How come when she says it you laugh and give heart eyes, but when I say it you look at me like I’ve robbed a bank?”

“Because, she’s really cute.” Nicole gave Waverly a quick wink, causing the brunette to smile and blush at her girlfriend.

“And I’m not?” Wynonna folded her arms across her chest.

“Eh.” Nicole shrugged, causing Wynonna to playfully hit the woman on the back of the head. Waverly just laughed, finding the whole thing amusing.

“Well, either way, I hope you’re hungry.” Wynonna said as she sat down at the kitchen table.

“Um, actually, I don’t really feel like eating right now. Started my period today and I’m cramping a bit. I think I’m just going to lay down for a little while. But you two can go ahead and eat.”

“Do you need anything?” Nicole asked.

Waverly shook her head. “I’m okay. I might come down and eat some a little later.”

“Okay. Well let me know if you need anything.” Nicole said before turning her attention back to the food.

“I will.” Waverly gave a weak smile before toeing off her shoes and softly padding up the stairs.

“Do you think that was really about her period, or the other thing?” Wynonna asked in concern.

Nicole shrugged as she scooped some pasta and vegan meatballs onto a plate and handed it to Wynonna. “No idea, but we shouldn’t hover. Either way, she made it pretty clear that she wants to be alone right now.”

“I haven’t seen her eat much lately. Does she look like she’s lost weight to you?”

Nicole shrugged as she sat down at the table across from Wynonna with her own plate. “I mean, she looks the same to me. But she weighs like 110 pounds, so I doubt I’d notice if she lost a couple pounds.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Wynonna looked at the stairs where Waverly had disappeared. She had a worried expression painted on her face.

“Hey, I’m sure she’s fine. She said she might come down later and eat so try not to worry about it too much.”

The brunette sighed. “Okay, fine. I’ll try not to worry so much.”

“Good. Now eat your vegan meatballs before they get cold. It took me a lot of time and effort to prepare this meal, and I won’t let it go to waste.” Nicole winced as she picked up her fork. “God, I’m starting to sound like my mother.”

“Yeah, that was pretty housewife of you. Remind me to never sound like that when I actually start raising this baby.” Wynonna stated as she rubbed her belly.

---

A couple days later

“No, no, no…” Waverly mumbled in her sleep as she writhed around the bed. Her body was covered in a cold sweat. Suddenly, her alarm went off. She gasped as she jumped out of bed, flailing around in the dark. “Get off me! Get away!” She screamed.

Nicole quickly flipped on the lights and silenced the alarm. “Waverly, baby, it’s okay. You’re okay. You were having a bad dream. You’re safe now. It’s just me in here with you. You’re in your bedroom. Look, the door is wide open, okay? You’re safe.” She stood on the opposite side of the bed as she tried to calm the girl down; something she had gotten used to.

Waverly slowly realized where she was as her heartrate began to slow down. She briefly held her hand to her chest and then rubbed it through her damp hair as she sat on the bed and focused on her breathing.

“Another nightmare?” Nicole finally asked, even though she already knew the obvious answer. But she didn’t know what else to say.

Waverly nodded. “I don’t really want to talk about it though.”

The redhead nodded in response. “Can I sit down next to you?”

“Mhm.” Waverly hummed as she picked at the bedsheets, attempting to focus her attention on something tangible. Lately that’s been her go-to form of relaxation – focus on a present task, something tactile.

Nicole slowly sat down on the edge of the bed, putting a good two feet between her and the smaller woman. “Have you thought about talking to someone?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you know, like a professional?”

Waverly drew her eyebrows together. “You mean, like a therapist?”

Nicole nodded. “I think it’ll help.”

“I don’t really feel like sharing my personal experiences with a random stranger.” There was a bit of bite in Waverly’s tone.

“Okay, but they wouldn’t just be a random stranger. They’d be a professional who’s trained to deal with this kind of stuff.”

“I talk to you and Wynonna. Isn’t that enough?”

“Waves, you barely talk to us. You haven’t really talked about it since that day out on the overlook, and I’m starting to get worried. I don’t want you to bottle this up and have it come out in harmful ways.”

Waverly stood up from the bed. “Look, I’m just not ready to talk about it. Not to you, not to Wynonna, not to anyone. Okay?”

Nicole held her hands up in surrender. “Okay. But will you at least consider it? I’ve dealt with many sexual assault victims, and I’ve seen how not talking about it can–”

“Nicole, please don’t push me on this.” Waverly said firmly. “I’m sorry you have to ‘deal with me’, but I’m going to do this my way and on my own time.”

The redhead shook her head as her face shifted from concern to guilt. “No, Waverly, that’s not what I meant–”

“I’m going to take a shower.” Waverly cut off the redhead before she could even finish her sentence. “I’m already running late for work.” She snatched the clean towel she had laid out on the chair by the door the night before as she tramped towards the hall bathroom.

Nicole sat on the bed as she sighed and rubbed her hands over her face. She had a lot of slip ups like that lately. There were a few times where she had shifted into Officer Haught when Waverly really just wanted her to be Nicole…when she needed her to be Nicole. She really had to think about the way she worded things to Waverly, but she was learning, and she was trying.

Waverly hadn’t talked to Nicole that whole day. The redhead tried sending her a text while she was at work, but didn’t receive a response. She took the hint and decided to give the girl some space. While on break, she did some research on nightmares and some prevention strategies, but most of what she found were actions that had to be done by the person having the nightmares – yoga, medication, cognitive behavioral therapy, etc. – which frustrated the officer a little bit. She wanted to do something for Waverly. Something Waverly wouldn’t have to do herself. She found one remedy that could help, but it was a longshot. She even laughed a little when she came across the idea, but decided it couldn’t hurt to try; she was desperate. Which was why when her early shift ended at 5 p.m., she made her way downtown to a little antique shop. The owner, Margaret, was pretty well-known around Purgatory. She had owned that shop for over fifty years and was probably the sweetest woman Nicole had ever met. She reminded her of those grandmothers you saw on TV; the ones that seem too perfect to be real. But Margaret was real, and she talked to everyone as if they were her grandchild.

“Oh, Officer Haught! Hello my dear! What brings you to my little shop this evening?”

“Margaret, I’ve told you several times to call me Nicole.” The redhead smiled as she gave the woman a hug.

“Oh pish posh,” the graying woman waved her hand in dismissal. “You’re in uniform, so I’m going to refer to you by your respectful title.”

“I’m actually off duty right now. Just on my way home from work, actually.”

Margaret smiled. “Did you have a good day at work, dear?”

“It was pretty good…for a Monday.” Nicole joked lightly.

“Mondays offer new beginnings.” The woman stated matter-of-factly.

“Well you’ve always been much wiser than the rest of us.” Nicole smiled.

The woman rubbed up and down the sleeves of Nicole’s uniform as she gave her a warm smile so big that it caused the corners of her eyes to crinkle. It reminded Nicole of the way Waverly smiled when something made her genuinely happy; a smile she hadn’t seen in too long. She missed it.

“So, are you looking for anything in particular?” The older woman asked as she walked around the shop.

“Um, yes, actually. I’m looking for a dreamcatcher?” Nicole stated with trepidation as she held her Stetson in one hand while awkwardly rubbing the back of her neck with the other.

The older woman paused as she looked up. “Bad dreams?”

“Not me, Waverly. She’s been having some nightmares lately.”

Margaret tutted her tongue as she shook her head sympathetically. “Poor thing. Come, I have a small selection over here in the back corner.” She led them over to the back of the store, passing by a few knick-knacks along the way that caught Nicole’s eye. “These are all hand-made by a friend of mine. They’re all really good quality. Not like those cheap factory-made ones that you see in the superstores.” She peered at Nicole, who was mesmerized by all of the rich colors. “See any that catch your eye?”

Nicole gently grazed her fingers over one that had a brown hoop with white netting and beautiful blue and teal feathers hanging from it. “This one is gorgeous.”

“That one is my favorite one.” The woman smiled as she took it down from where it was hanging. “And lucky for you, it just went on sale.” She winked at the officer as she made her way over to the cash register, Nicole following behind.

“Oh, you really don’t have to do that.”

“Nonsense. You do so much for this town and its people, officer. I think the least I can do in return is give you a discount.” She rang up the item and gave Nicole her change as she handed over the paper bag.

“Thank you for this.” Nicole smiled as she held up the bag holding the dreamcatcher.

“It’s my pleasure. You tell Waverly that I hope she has better dreams tonight.”

“I will. Have a good one, Margaret.”

“You too, sweetie.”

Nicole walked out of the store and into her car before making her way over to the homestead. When she got there, she found Waverly on the couch watching Friends – something she did in her spare time lately – by herself. They had given Nicole a key to the house since she had been staying there lately. She would go over to her own house to check on Calamity Jane either in the mornings or during lunch break, but for the most part the orange tabby was not too happy with her for being MIA (missing in action).

As Nicole shut the door behind her, Waverly spun around to see who was there.

“Hey, sorry, it’s just me.” Nicole reassured as she locked the door behind her.

Waverly sighed in relief as she relaxed back into the couch and turned her eyes back towards the screen. She had been a bit jumpy lately when it came to sudden noises and people coming in and out of doors.

“Is Wynonna still at work?”

“Yeah. She’ll be home in about an hour.” Waverly said as she looked up at the redhead, who had sat down next to her on the couch.

“Have you been here too long?”

“About 10 minutes.” Waverly shrugged before pausing the TV.

Nicole nodded. “Look, I uh, I feel really bad about this morning. I wasn’t trying to say that you were a burden or anything, and I’m sorry if I made you feel that way, because you’re not. I just worry about you.”

Waverly shifted her position on the couch to face her girlfriend. “I know you do. I’m sorry I overreacted. It’s just so frustrating.”

“What is?” Nicole wasn’t sure if the brunette was talking about her specifically, or everything in general.

“Just, this whole thing. Everything feels different now. I just want my life back to the way it was before.” Waverly sighed as she picked at the couch cushion in her lap.

“I know baby.” Nicole began to reach a hand out to console the brunette, but quickly decided against it, unsure if she wanted to be touched right now. “I know it’s difficult for you to talk about it, but I’m here for you whenever you’re ready. And Wynonna is too.”

Waverly nodded. “I know.”

“And it’s your decision if you want to try talking to a therapist or not. But in the meantime, I got you something that might help…” She reached behind her on the floor and picked up the bag before handing it over to the brunette.

Waverly took the paper bag with a raised eyebrow and looked inside. Her eyebrows drew together as she pulled out the item. “A…dreamcatcher?” She queried.

“I know it sounds lame, but it might help. I hope you don’t think it’s stupid.”

“No, no I don’t! I love it. It’s so thoughtful. And it totally fits in with the color scheme of my room.” She winked.

Nicole laughed at the light humor. “Good, I had hoped so. But seriously Waves, I don’t want you having anymore nightmares.”

“Me neither.” Waverly sighed. “We’ll see if this helps.” She put the dreamcatcher back in the bag and set it on the coffee table. “Um, you wanna watch Friends with me?”

“Sure.” Nicole smiled as she made herself comfortable on the couch.

Waverly looked at the redhead and took a deep breath. “Hey.” She breathed out, getting Nicole’s attention. As soon as she turned her head, Waverly cupped her face with a hand and gave her a quick peck on the lips, surprising the officer. “Thank you.” She said with a smile, her hand still on Nicole’s cheek.

The redhead grinned. This was the first time since that night that Waverly had kissed her, and it filled her heart with hope.

---

The next morning Waverly woke up feeling well-rested and relaxed. She looked over and saw Nicole ironing her uniform.

“Sorry, I hope I didn’t wake you.” The redhead said as she set the iron down, steam blowing out from the soleplate.

“No, I woke up on my own.” Waverly stated as she sat up and leaned against the headboard. She looked up at her bedpost where the dreamcatcher was hanging and smiled as she ran her fingers through the feathers. She looked back at Nicole, who was giving her questioning eyes. “I think it worked.”

“No nightmares?” Nicole asked with a hopeful voice.

Waverly shook her head. “Not last night.”

Nicole rushed over and hugged the girl, but quickly pulled away as soon as she had wrapped her arms around her. “Sorry, sorry.”

“No.” Waverly shook her head as she pulled Nicole into a hug. She was starting to miss the woman’s touch. She missed the way the woman’s strong arms felt around her small frame. She hugged Nicole, and she didn’t feel overwhelmed. Instead, she felt protected; safe. Waverly sighed as she melted into the embrace. “I’ve missed this.” She whispered.

Nicole’s eyes began to water slightly as she smiled and held her girlfriend as close to her as possible. “Me too.”

They sat there on the bed for what felt like hours, but in reality was only a couple of minutes, before Waverly pulled away. She smiled at the redhead, and the corners of her eyes crinkled. There it was, the smile Nicole had been missing. Her breath was nearly taken away as she took in the sight of the beautiful woman. There was a light to her. A light she hadn’t realized was absent.

“Okay, I have to get ready for work.” She gave Nicole a chaste kiss, surprising the woman again, before trotting out of the room while humming. It was the first little glimpse Nicole had seen of the old Waverly in 11 days, and her heart swelled with happiness and hope.

Nicole heard Wynonna grumble out in the hallway as Waverly gave her a cheery ‘good morning’ before going into the bathroom. The redhead walked out of Waverly’s bedroom and down the stairs, where she saw the older Earp heading straight for the coffee maker. She looked like a zombie.

“Waverly kissed me. She kissed me last night and again this morning.” Nicole confessed. The way she said it with so much enthusiasm sounded like a teenager talking about being kissed for the first time.

Wynonna groaned. It was clear that she hadn’t fully woken up yet. “Gross.” The brunette replied groggily.

Nicole rolled her eyes. “Wynonna, this is the first time since the assault that she’s kissed me. And she let me hug her this morning, like fully hug her. She’s starting to come back to us.”

Wynonna’s eyes widened as she realized what this meant. The corners of her mouth turned up into a grin. “She’s coming back to us.”