44. Therapy Thanksgiving

It was Waverly’s first session with the therapist, and to say that she was nervous was an understatement. When she entered the bright office, she reached out a hand and introduced herself to the doctor, who asked her to call her by her first name, Amy. Waverly thought that it was strange that the therapist had asked her to call her by her first name instead of ‘Dr. Jennings’, but went with it nonetheless. She didn’t want to come off as disrespectful and unable to follow simple instructions. She had taken a seat on the solid gray couch and looked around the room, taking in her surroundings. There were little knick-knacks on the shelves, a couple of degrees hanging on the wall, pictures of her with a man and two kids, which Waverly presumed was her family. The woman herself seemed pretty cool. She had short, brown hair, was 35 years old – according to the research Waverly had done on the woman beforehand – and specialized in sexual assault, trauma and PTSD, which Waverly figured she should look for in a professional. She told Waverly a little bit about herself to make the brunette feel a little more comfortable and like this wasn’t completely one-sided. Waverly figured she had used this tactic with all of her patients.

“So, Waverly, would you like to tell me something about yourself, now that you know a bit about me?” Amy asked. She sat in her leather chair with a pen and a notepad, clearly to take notes on Waverly. This unnerved the brunette a little.

Waverly sat with her knees up to her chest. She had taken off her shoes first so that she didn’t get the couch dirty. She probably should be sitting like a normal adult instead of a small child, which was what she was sure she looked like right now, but the position made her feel safe. And that’s what this whole thing was about, right? It’s not like the woman asked her not to when she put her feet up a couple of minutes ago, so she assumed it was okay.

“Um, I have a sister.” Waverly said after a few moments. It was something technically about herself, but took the focus off of her.

Amy smiled and nodded. “And what’s her name?”

“Wynonna.”

“That’s a pretty name. And so is Waverly. Do you have any other siblings?”

Waverly froze. What was she supposed to say? I used to have another sister, but she was killed in a car accident along with my father. My mother left us when I was a baby, so I don’t have one of those either. We were raised by my aunt and uncle, but my uncle died last year, so, you know… No, she couldn’t say that. It was way too personal, and she wasn’t ready to get personal with this stranger yet.

“Is that your family?” Waverly asked as she nodded towards the picture frame, changing the subject and taking the focus off of her.

Amy looked behind her at the picture on her desk and smiled. “Yes. That’s my husband, Kyle, and my two kids, Lauren and Jacob.”

“They seem nice. You all look so happy.” Waverly stated. There was something in her voice that resembled jealousy. She wished she could have had a happy family like that. She loved Wynonna and her Aunt Gus, and she loved her Uncle Curtis, but it always made her jealous whenever she saw her classmates with more ‘normal’ families growing up. She hadn’t had a ‘normal’ family since her mom left, and then everything just spiraled from there. An alcoholic father that never even gave her the time of day wasn’t that much better than a dead one. As she looked at the picture of this perfect family, she realized that this woman had everything going for her. Happy family, great job, gorgeous woman…how could she possibly understand what Waverly was going through when her life was clearly struggle-free?

“Everyone looks happy in family photos. The goal is to show off your smiles and look like you have it all put together, so that nobody can see any pain.” The older woman said with a warm smile.

Waverly’s eyes widened. She wasn’t expecting her to be so blunt about that. Maybe this woman wasn’t so bad after all.

“Um, I have a girlfriend, Nicole.” Waverly said, letting the woman in a little more. “She’s amazing. I don’t deserve her.”

“Why do you think that?” Amy asked. She didn’t even flinch at the confession that Waverly was in a relationship with another woman.

Waverly looked up at her briefly, and then looked down at the floor. She sat there for what seemed like hours as she fidgeted with the rings on her fingers. She was hoping that the woman would say something else, fill the uncomfortable silence with a different question. But instead, she just sat there, waiting for Waverly to say something. Waverly sighed at the realization that she was going to have to speak in order for the awkward silence to go away.

“Because, I’m a mess. I have too many flaws.”

“Everyone has flaws.”

“But I have a lot.”

“Like what?”

Waverly froze. She wasn’t expecting such a direct question.

“Like…stuff.” She answered. As soon as she said it, she realized how stupid she sounded. She sighed as she dropped her legs to the floor and leaned forward. “I’m sorry, I’m just not good at this.”

“Not good at what?”

“Talking. Talking about myself. Talking about…about it. I know that’s the whole point of me being here, but I just don’t think I can.”

Amy looked at her with understanding eyes. “Waverly, that’s perfectly okay. You talk whenever you’re ready. And we can just sit here until you are.” She set her pen down on her notebook as she smiled at the brunette.

Waverly had expected that to make her feel uneasy, just sitting in silence, but it actually helped her. It helped her to collect her thoughts; to compose herself. To remind herself that this wasn’t someone who was going to judge her, but someone who was there to help her. This woman has probably heard all kinds of stories, and Waverly’s wouldn’t be hard for her to take. That was one reason why she found it hard to tell people about what happened – she didn’t want to upset anyone. She didn’t want to make anyone feel uneasy or uncomfortable. She sat there for about half an hour, letting her train of thought run through her before she had plucked up the courage to say something.

“I have nightmares.” She said, still looking down at the floor, still fidgeting with her rings.

“Nightmares of what?”

“Of being trapped. Sometimes I’m trapped in a box. Sometimes I’m trapped in a small room. And sometimes…sometimes it’s not just me being trapped. Sometimes it’s like it’s happening all over again. I’m in the bathroom, he locks the door behind him and pushes me up against the wall. Holds my wrists above my head like he did that night, and covers my mouth so I can’t speak. He can’t hear me begging him to get off me; screaming for help. I can feel him pushing up against me, and kissing my neck, and telling me to relax and that he’s going to help me remember. Only this time, Nicole doesn’t come in and stop him. He actually goes through with it. He actually…” She closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath as a couple of tears ran down her cheeks. She wiped them away before opening her eyes again. She didn’t look at Amy though. She hadn’t looked at her for the past half hour. She focused on the intricate patterns and colors of the rug beneath her feet. She followed her eyes over the lines as she focused on bringing herself back to the present and not get sucked into that mindset of being trapped.

“How do these nightmares make you feel afterwards?” Amy asked.

Waverly slowly shook her head as she gritted her teeth. “Angry. Guilty. Embarrassed. He took something from me, without even asking. Against my will, he took something from me. And now I have nightmares. Now I jump whenever someone touches me. Now I can’t enjoy being intimate with Nicole. Now I tense up and start to panic whenever I’m in a room with a locked door. I used to see locked doors as something that kept bad things out; that kept me safe. Now I only see them as something that traps me in.”

Waverly continued to talk for the rest of the session. Amy would ask her questions here and there that provoked critical thinking, which kept Waverly talking. By the end of the session, she was able to talk about exactly what had happened. She had shared her story, every little detail of it – even details she hadn’t shared with Nicole or Wynonna. She explained how he grinded his erect penis against her between her legs, and how she felt like since he wasn’t exposed, she didn’t really feel like she could call it sexual assault. Amy reassured her that it was sexual assault, and explained to her exactly why. She also explained why it wasn’t her fault, and why it’s normal for her to be having nightmares and issues with intimacy after going through trauma like that. She asked Waverly what she wanted to achieve with therapy, and Waverly explained how she wanted to be able to be intimate with her girlfriend again, and how she didn’t want to have nightmares anymore. She didn’t want to be jumpy, and she wanted to be that happy girl she once was. Amy gave her some tips and tricks to help her with her anxiety, and some things that she and Nicole could try together in the bedroom to help her feel more in control.

Before she knew it, the session was over, and she found herself wishing that it wasn’t.

“Would you like to make another appointment?” Amy asked as she pulled out her schedule.

Waverly smiled and nodded as she set up a time, thrilled that she was finally able to talk about everything so comfortably. She was afraid that she would end up wasting the woman’s time.

“I’ll see you next week, Waverly. Have a good rest of your week.” Amy smiled as she walked Waverly out of her office.

As soon as Waverly entered the waiting room, she saw Nicole drop a magazine onto the table beside her and quickly stand up from the chair she was sitting in. She had offered to drive Waverly there and wait for her outside, and Waverly took the redhead up on the offer. She knew having her there would put her a little bit more at ease, even if she couldn’t actually be in the room with her. Without Nicole there waiting with her for her name to be called, holding her hand and softly caressing the back of it to keep her relaxed, she probably would have chickened out and left as soon as she had signed in.

“So? How did it go?” Nicole asked as she held Waverly’s winter coat up and helped the brunette into it.

Waverly grinned. “It was really good. The first half was basically just small talk and me sitting there working up the courage to talk, but eventually I was able to talk about it. I told her everything, and she listened to me. She made me feel a lot better. I made another appointment for next week.”

“Baby, that’s wonderful!” Nicole beamed.

“I really think this is going to help, Nicole. I think it’s going to help me be able to move forward with this.”

The pair walked to the car and began to make their way back to Purgatory as Waverly told Nicole all about her session and about Amy.

“So, are you ready to see everyone on Thursday?” Nicole asked once the conversation had died down.

The Earp clan had always celebrated American Thanksgiving, since Wyatt Earp was American. It had been a family tradition of theirs, one that was hosted every year at Gus’s house. This year, Waverly had invited Jeremy and Robin to join them. She had sent Jeremy a text asking if the couple wanted to join them, and of course they said yes. She hadn’t seen them since the Halloween party almost four weeks ago. It’s not like they were too torn up about it though, since their relationship was still pretty new and they spent most of their time with each other anyways. If Jeremy didn’t have Robin to occupy his time, he’d probably be a little more adamant to find out why Waverly hadn’t been around, but the truth was that he had been just as bad about reaching out to her. And after what had happened between her and Champ at Shorty’s, he figured it was best to let the girl come to him.

“Yeah, I think I am.” Waverly replied. “Haven’t had the gang together in a while.”

Nicole nodded with a smile.

“Is Dolls coming?”

“He has to work. He’s covering my shift so I can make it to dinner on time. What about Chrissy, Rosita, and Darren?”

“They all have to work. So it’ll just be us, Wynonna, Gus, Jeremy and Robin.”

“That’ll be fun.”

Waverly nodded. She was excited, but also a little nervous. She hadn’t been around too many people since the party, and she wasn’t sure how she would feel about it. Suddenly, she wished that she had brought that up in her session today. But like everything else, it was a learning curve and the only way to find out was to actually put herself in the situation.

---

Thursday

Knock knock knock

Waverly walked up to the front door of Gus’s house and opened it. “Jeremy! Robin! I’m so glad you guys could make it!” She wrapped them both in each arm and squeezed tightly.

“It feels like forever!” Jeremy said as the brunette released them. “How have you been?”

“Yeah I’ve been…pretty good.” She gave a smile, but it didn’t quite touch her eyes. Jeremy noticed, but decided not to say anything. He was really good at reading his friends, and he knew Waverly would come to him if she wanted to talk about whatever was wrong.

“That’s good!” Robin replied.

Waverly waved her hands around. “How about you guys? What have you been up to?”

Jeremy and Robin looked at each other. “Oh you know, just stuff. Work, chilling out, the yoozh.” Jeremy shrugged.

“Uh huh, the yoozh…right.” Waverly shook her head as she smirked and gave them a knowing look. “I think we all know that means that you two have been–”

“Hey guys!” Nicole interrupted as she walked into the small foyer from the kitchen, and Jeremy and Robin were more than accepting of the opportunity to change the subject.

“Nicole! Nicky! Nick-o-mania! How’s my favorite red-headed Purgatory police officer?” Jeremy asked as he chuckled awkwardly.

Nicole furrowed her brow. “Uh, okay? Why are you acting all weird? Well, weirder than usual. And why is your face all red?”

“We were just discussing how he and Robin have been chilling.” Waverly said with a wink after putting air quotes around the word ‘chilling’.

“Ohhh chilling eh? Have you guys chilled today yet, or is that more of an after-dinner plan?” Nicole teased, and Waverly had to cover her mouth with her hand to stifle her laughter.

“Why pick just one?” Robin smirked.

“Oh God…” Jeremy mumbled as he crossed one arm across his chest and tucked his hand under his armpit, resting the other elbow on it and covering his face.

“I like him.” Nicole said to Jeremy as she pointed at Robin.

“Thank you.” Robin grinned as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his neatly-pressed khakis.

“But I’m sure not as much as Jeremy does.” Waverly teased.

Jeremy waved his arms around as he said, “Yeah yeah, okay. I think we’ve all established that we’ve been spending a lot of time together.”

“Alone time.” Waverly stated matter-of-factly.

“Whatever.” Jeremy waved his hands some more. “Can we please just talk about something else? Maybe your sex life, perhaps? See how you two like it…” He trailed off, and Robin sympathetically rubbed him on the back.

Nicole and Waverly gave each other awkward looks. Their sex life was definitely not something that Waverly wanted to talk about, so she decided to quickly change the subject to something else. “So, Robin, how’s it going at work? I’d imagine with being Purgatory’s only park ranger and all you’d see some interesting things on the job.”

“Oh, you don’t know? I quit that job.”

“You did?” Waverly asked, surprised.

“Yep. Turns out I was pretty terrible at it. Now I’m working at the library. They were pretty excited. I tried to explain that I majored in jazz history, but all they heard was the ‘history’ part and just ran with it. But I like it. I don’t have to trudge through the snow and I actually have co-workers…well, co-worker. But Martha’s pretty cool.”

Waverly thought back to last week when she went to the library and was thankful that she didn’t see him working there at the time. She wasn’t sure if she could handle seeing a familiar face and having to engage in conversation with her emotions running all over the place.

“That’s good. I’m happy for you.” Nicole smiled as she rubbed Robin on the arm.

“Alright kids, Gus says to tell you that dinner is ready.” Wynonna said as she looked at the group. “Wow, I feel like I’m at Purgatory pride right now.”

Nicole rolled her eyes. “We have you outnumbered, you know.”

“Whatever. I’m not complaining about it. You know, I’ve kissed a girl before…”

“Yeah, I don’t think that really counts…especially since you were drunk and did it to get Pete’s attention. You’re still really straight.” Waverly chuckled.

“Okay yes, I’m a girl who likes dick. Crucify me why dontcha.” She folded her arms across her chest.

“Aww don’t worry Wyn.” Nicole slung her arm around Wynonna’s shoulders. “We still love you. Even if you are one of those heterosexuals.”

“Yeah, it’s not your fault!” Jeremy joined in.

Waverly grinned. “Yeah, I mean, I have lots of straight friends!”

“Personally, I understand the sex appeal.” Robin stated matter-of-factly.

“Ha ha, very funny you guys. Real comedians.” The dark brunette shrugged Nicole’s arm off, causing it to drop by her side. “Are you dorks coming or do I have to eat all of the mashed potatoes myself? Because I’m six months pregnant, so you know I will.” She yelled over her shoulder as she strolled back into the kitchen, everyone else laughing as they followed behind.

---

“I’m glad you all were able to join us for dinner. It always was Curtis’s favorite tradition, even if it was started by the Earps.” Gus stated with a curt nod as she traced her fingertips along the side her wine glass.

Waverly reached across the table and wrapped a comforting hand around her aunt’s forearm. “Uncle Curtis would have loved this. Everything is delicious, Gus. I mean, I haven’t had any of the turkey for obvious reasons, but I’m sure it’s perfect.”

“It’s a lil’ dry…” Wynonna said with a mouth full of turkey as she held up a piece in front of her face and closely inspected it. Waverly roughly nudged her in her side with her elbow, causing her to drop the piece of turkey onto her plate. “But uh, still very good. Top-notch.”

“I too wish I could try the turkey…and the mac and cheese…but everything else is really good!” Robin complimented.

Wynonna shook her head. “Vegans…” She mumbled as she shoveled a forkful of potatoes into her mouth.

“Well, I can attest that everything is in fact delicious. Thank you, Gus.” Nicole smiled. She had been eating vegan lately, but couldn’t pass up on any of the dishes Gus had cooked.

“I’m already looking forward to seconds!” Jeremy exclaimed.

“Okay, okay. I wasn’t fishin’ for compliments.” Gus waved her hands in the air. “Eat your damn dinner.” She hid her grin behind her wine glass as she took a sip.

Knock knock knock

“Who’s that interruptin’ my dinner?” Gus asked, slightly concerned. She started to get up, but Wynonna quickly stood up.

“I’ll get it!” The older Earp rushed to the front door and opened it.

Doc stood on the front porch with an awkward smile. His hair was freshly washed and his mustache obviously combed. He sported his signature gray frock coat and solid blue button up. He quickly took his black Stetson off and placed it over his chest when he saw Wynonna open the door.

“Hope I’m not too late.” He said with a small smile.

Wynonna shook her hand and smiled. “No, you’re right on time. You know, for being Doc Holliday. Come on in.” She beckoned.

As soon as they walked into the kitchen, Waverly stood up, but was quickly encouraged to sit back down by a wave of Wynonna’s hand, which she reluctantly did.

“It’s okay. I invited him.” Wynonna explained.

Everyone quietly stared for a few seconds, unsure of whether or not to greet the former outcast, until Gus finally stood up from her seat. “Oh, for Heaven’s sake. Get yourself a plate and join us Henry, before it gets too cold for you to enjoy it.”

“I appreciate it, ma’am.” He smiled and gave a curt nod before walking over to the counter and fixing himself a plate of food.

“Um, Wynonna…can I speak with you for a second?” Waverly whispered before dragging the older Earp into the living room.

As soon as they got there, Waverly gave her sister an inquisitive look, to which Wynonna just raised her eyebrows, waiting for her to say whatever it was she wanted to say.

“So, are we pro-Doc again now? Or is this some sort of desperate pregnancy hormones hook-up…”

“Okay, I’m actually very offended that you would use my pregnancy hormones as an excuse to want sex. You know I’d be desperate with or without being knocked up.” Waverly was just looking at her, waiting for her to explain. Wynonna sighed as she rolled her eyes. “I’ve realized, he’s not a bad guy. He may have made some mistakes…like, over and over and over again, but he’s not a bad guy.”

“Like I’ve been trying to tell you for the past four months.” Waverly stated matter-of-factly.

“Yeah yeah, you were right.” Wynonna groaned.

“So, what changed your mind?”

Wynonna shrugged, unsure of whether or not to bring it up. Waverly noticed her sister’s hesitation.

“Oh come on. You can tell me. Spill.”

“No, it’s just that…after what happened to you, I realize that Doc isn’t a bad guy.” She studied her little sister’s face. Waverly didn’t flinch like Wynonna had thought she would, so she continued. “I mean…Hardy, he’s a bad guy.” She decided to use his first name in fear that saying the name ‘Champ’ would set Waverly off. “And Bobo, he’s a bad guy. But Doc? Well, he’s just an idiot, and a bit of an asshole…but he’s not a bad guy. He actually has good intentions. And all he ever wanted was to do the right thing for me, and for our daughter. I can’t keep being mad at him for that. Not when this little girl has a chance to grow up with both of her parents. He wanted to be involved, and that’s more than some pregnant women can say. Might as well give him a second chance.” She shrugged.

Waverly nodded as she smiled. She understood why Wynonna had pushed him away, but she was glad that she had finally come to her senses, despite hearing about the reason why. She was a sucker for a happy ending. She wrapped her arms around her sister and pulled her into a tight hug. “I’m happy you’re getting back together.”

Wynonna quickly pulled away. “Whoa whoa whoa, I never said we were getting back together. I just said I was giving him a second chance. I’m letting him in on the pregnancy, but as far as a relationship, he has to prove himself.”

Waverly’s excitement faltered. “Well, how is he doing so far?”

Wynonna shrugged. “We talked. Said he would do whatever it takes. He got a job at the local hardware store last week to help make money for baby stuff, so that’s a start.”

“Is he, like, using the cash register and stuff?” Waverly asked, slightly surprised. Doc had just learned how to use his cell phone not too long ago, which he still refers to as his ‘cellular device’. She couldn’t imagine him trying to handle a computer.

The older Earp laughed as she shook her head. “Yeah right. He’s stocking shelves.”

“Oh. That makes much more sense.” Waverly chuckled.

“Oh, and just a heads up, we’re going out for dinner this Saturday. I’ll probably end up spending the night at his apartment, if you catch my drift.” She winked.

“So, I’ll have the house to myself that night?” She asked curiously.

“Yep. Think you’ll be okay by yourself?”

“I think I’ll manage. I’ll probably ask Nicole to come over.” Waverly smiled.

“Alright then.” Wynonna shrugged, not thinking anything of it. “So, uh, are we done in here? Because I still have like half a plate of food left.” She asked as she pointed over her shoulder with her thumb.

“Yeah, we’re done.” Waverly grinned before walking back into the kitchen with her arm looped around Wynonna’s.