326. Central City Grimm ~Checkpoint 1~

Gabrielle, in her Reaper suit, and Mercuria, in her Wolfsbane suit, beat a young man on a building's rooftop.

"Where... is the DISC?" asked Gabrielle.

"I don't know!"

"Wrong answer..."

Kiss duplicates the man's head and fuses it.

*SPLAT!!!*

"Augh!" sobbed the man.

She duplicates his head again.

"The DISCs... where are they?"

The man stares at his other head, blankly staring back at him. 

"OH, GOD!!! PLEASE!!!" both heads spoke. "WHAT THE FUCK!? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?"

"We could break your neck in the next round... Now... where... is the DISC?"

"I don't know!"

Kiss approaches the man.

"But there's a way to detect DISCs!"

"How!?" asked Gabrielle.

The man gives an object to Gabrielle from his chest pocket. 

"And what is this supposed to be?" asked Gabrielle.

"DISC Radar."

"Who made it!?"

"I don't know! I just work small jobs for them! I really don't know! Please!"

"ORA!!!"

Stone Free punches his face, knocking him out.

"Okay..." Gabrielle sighs in relief. "Well?"

She raises the radar and presses some buttons.

"Which DISC would you like to watch for?"

Gabrielle presses some buttons and sees that all of them are in -...

"Warehouses? Seriously?"

"At this point-..." Mercuria shrugs.

Gabrielle sees that it is seemingly unguarded. "Looks safe enough..."

"No, Gabrielle... Listen closely," said Mercuria.

"What?"

They turn up the volume and listen intently.

"Whispering," said Gabrielle. "People are guarding the area... Jesus Christ... That means every guard like this asshole around the friggin' world has connections with people and is able to see the DISCs 24/7."

"Wait... I can see someone else... Who is that?"

Gabrielle frowns. She sees...

Kenneth.

"Warehouse 251D?" asked Yurielle.

"That warehouse is being heavily protected from the outside..." said Gabrielle. "The building contains a DISC. Particularly my father's," said Gabrielle. "Find it, and all you have to do is focus on avoiding assassins in the race."

"Thanks, Ate Gabrielle."

"No prob, Yuri."

*click*

Yurielle turns off the hologram in her watch. She, along with the others, is standing in a circle around a bonfire just outside the city.

Yurielle sighs. "Okay... great... We go there, we wave and smile at the camera, we find the warehouse, we take  Uncle Miggy's DISC, and we leave."

"Don't they hate us because of what your Uncle did?" asked Johnny.

"We have Captain America on our side!" smiled Yurielle. "How bad could it possibly be?"

The next day...

"Boo!"

"Captain Philippines!"

"Your Uncle was an imperialist dictator!"

"Stardust Crusaders are no different than the actual crusaders!"

"You're Captain America but you're not my Captain America!"

"Assassins can never be heroes!"

"Ghost Rider is judge, jury, and executioner! Like Miguel JoJo!"

"Hey, that's racist to all Ghost Riders!"

"Oh! Sorry! I thought there was only one Ghost Rider!"

"Get woke, jerk!"

"Sorry!"

The audience throws objects like fruit or equipment like bottles, glass, and doorknobs at the group.

"Hey!" yelled Yurielle. "Stop that!"

Yurielle throws knives and pierces each object nearly hurting them.

Sam shields his face with his shield.

"You hide behind that star-spangled shield as you hide behind that mantle!"

"Oh, shit! That was a good one, guy!"

"Thanks, buddy!"

Kariel shoots the objects away.

"GET THAT GUN DOWN, TERRORIST!!!"

"THAT WORD IS OVERUSED AND IS NOW TECHNICALLY RACIST!!!" yelled Kariel back.

Dark simply dodges the objects thrown at them.

Johnny woges into a Ghost Rider and blasts the objects away and sends them to hell.

Meanwhile...

Lucifer plays candy crush in his office until a pineapple splatters on his face.

"What the fuck...? JOHNNY!!!"

Now...

Jack runs around the stage and tries to hide backstage, but the people behind the stage laugh and block him out.

Meanwhile, F.F. is playing with a U.V. Flashlight an audience member throws at her by turning it on and off on different parts of her body, with her skin ending up glowing.

That evening...

The Rangers sigh out of disappointment. 

"Three of those insults were targeted on me!" said Sam. "And one was incredibly... incredibly personal."

"None of those were targeted on me, though! Why?" asked Foo Fighters.

"You're a Crusader, F.F. Yes they did," said Johnny.

"How dare they! I will kill them all for insulting me like that!"

"No, F.F.," said Kariel. "Killing people is wrong."

"But they attacked me, right? I was told to kill anyone who attacks us."

"Yes, but not that way. They attacked you, but only to hurt your weird... algae-filled heart..."

"So, I attack them back in their hearts, right?" asked F.F.

"Sure," said Kariel.

"Okay!"

Foo Fighters stands up and walks out of the room.

"What?" asked Jack. "Why did she just walk out of the door?"

"I don't know," said Kariel. "We should focus on what's really important and find those DISCs."

"I think F.F. walking out that door is pretty important-..."

"Dadadada... DISC," said Kariel. "We need to find Kuya's DISC. Who should go there?"

"Why not just you? You're the strongest of all of us," said Sam.

"I can't spam my gravitational control because if I do, I get a near-fatal heart attack."

"Okay... Who do we send there?"

"I'll go," said Johnny.

"Me, too!" smiled F.F. entering the room. "I just told that guy what for! Turns out he's in the same hotel as we are. His name is Gil Sanchez."

"F.F., Gil Sanchez is a journalist," said Kariel. "What did you say to him?"

"He's a pedophile and I had proof. He freaked out when I said that and he offered me seven thousand units," said F.F.

Yurielle takes out her knife. "I'm on it." She stands up and walks out of the door.

"You people understand what damned context is and what it's about, right!?" asked Jack.

"Do you know what a pedophile is?" asked Kariel.

"I just read his mind a bit and he called himself that."

"F.F., a pedophile has a sexual attraction on children," said Sam.

"Ew. You mean those little gross people that you people are when younger?" asked F.F. "What a freak."

"Not the reason why he's a freak, but sure..." sighed Jack.

"Anyway! What's so problematic with this Warehouse 251D?"

Later...

"Skreee!" hissed a velociraptor, crawling along with other dinosaurs.

Foo Fighters' eyes widen. "What the fuck!? That's a weird-lookin' bird!"

"Dinosaurs?" asked Kariel, in the Bluetooth speaker.

"Dinosaurs," said Johnny.

Foo Fighters looks far at the dinosaur and observed it.

"They have a virus," said F.F.

"What do you mean?" asked Johnny.

"They're carrying some kind of virus..." said F.F. She sniffs the air. "It's really potent. Turns you into one of those dinosaurs!"

"So, what do we do, algae girl?" asked Johnny.

"Don't get bit," said F.F. "Be very careful not to get bitten."

"My God... You truly are one of the most amazing creatures I've ever met. How do you know that?"

"I can see that one velociraptor bite that one dude videotaping them and he's becoming a velociraptor right now."

"AAAH!!! GOD!!! HELP!!! PLEASE!!! I'M BECOMING A-!!! SKREEEE!!! RAH!!! CRAIGH!!! RAAAAAAAAH!!!"

"Oh," said Johnny. "Then you're not that amazing."

"Thank you for being honest. That makes you a good role model."

"You're welcome. It's probably because I lift weights and that I have gorgeous muscles."

"But you're a skeleton, right? How do you have muscles?"

"Because writers are too lazy to draw or write about me, so I wear a cool leather jacket."

F.F. pauses for a moment. "What writers?"

Meanwhile...

"Seriously!?" asked Gabrielle. "What the hell is this!?"

"What is what!?" asked Narcos.

"This guy! Dick Shuckmeister is calling me a racist and that the new Crusaders are just a massive rip-off of our predecessors! What else!? He's saying that I have a terribly written arc and he nitpicked... sooo much!"

And he said that I wrote you badly and that it was better if you weren't related to the original bloodline because it destroys the established fact that you don't have to be a JoJo from the original universe I wrote about to be the main protagonist, and that ruins who the previous characters were! THAT'S JUST NITPICKING!!!

"Did you hear that?" asked Gabrielle, looking around.

"Is this one of the times where that dude called the Angel of Death is in your head and you'll freak me out or whatever with that one known fact?" asked Narcos.

"No! Shush! No! No! Someone's agreeing with me, this time!" yelled Gabrielle.

"Anyway! I'm gonna do what I do best!" smiled Dick Shuckmeister. "Complain about God! Hahahahahaha! Why are there so many RETCONS!? HUH!? WHY!? THE STATS ARE POINTLESS, BY THE WAY!!! GOD!!! AND THE FIFTH AND SIXTH PARTS!? WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THOSE PARTS!? AND MIGUEL AND LORD'S WEIRD BROTHERHOOD TWIST!? HWHAT!? WHY THOUGH!? RIPPING OFF CIVIL WAR OR WHAT!? AND YOU RIPPED OFF ENDGAME!!!"

"I don't understand what he's talking about, but it hurts..." Gabrielle clenches her fists. "Apparently he has a Stand that allows him to see into the Beyondverse. Asshole..." she shakes her head. "People like these shouldn't be listened to, because people are entitled to their own opinions."

"I may be proud of you for understanding what a paradox is, but I still disagree!"

"Kinda paradoxical because having an opinion means you have the freedom to speak it out, Gabrielle," said Mercuria, sipping a drink.

"Oh, sure!" yelled Gabrielle. "What? Should we just allow the politician Yellow Flash II to piss over our friends in the Justice League? Or how about the other politician Clownfish T. Vee keeps on fucking over the Avengers!? What, Mercuria!? We just allow them to talk!?"

"Yeah!?" asked Mercuria. "You're just mad because-..."

Narcos waves his hands left and right to try and silence her.

"-... he said you're a rip-off of your own father and that it has something to do with your Daddy Issues."

Narcos facepalms.

"Wrry..." said Gabrielle.

"Oy, oy... If you try something, I'll duplicate and break your nose to pieces."

"Tch-... I'd like to see you try, Merci..."

"Both of you idiots shut up and make out," said Narcos. "No one fights on my watch. For frick's sake, we're in a hotel filled with people who hate us! Shouldn't we just work on some way for these people not to hate us!?"

"How do we suggest we do that?" asked both Gabrielle and Mercuria.

"We do something public and adorable," said Bruce. "We charm the United States with something big." Bruce smiles. "You two wanna get married to each other?"

"WHAT!?" asked Gabrielle and Narcos. "NO!!! Wait... Yeah... But NOT NOW!!!"

"Knew it... We can't do that..." said Bruce. "Hm... What if we have you star on something?"

"Like what?" asked Gabrielle. "Who would possibly cast the daughter of America's new John Wilks Booth!?"

"Or Hitler!" smiled Narcos. "Sorry..." He bows his head.

"Well... We have to think of something massively public! Something that brings happiness and joy to the public!" yelled Peter.

"I don't like that idea," said Narcos. "Doing something good to charm the public? That's pretty... I dunno..."

"So... what if we just tell the whole world about the DISCs?" asked Gabrielle.

"And accuse the President of the wrongdoings? I don't think so..." said Mercuria.

"But what if we say that we don't know that it was the President?" asked Peter.

"What!?" asked the trio.

"He's onto something," said Bruce.

"What if we only tell them about the DISCs and how the Dark Quartz Organization is planning something with that knowledge without mentioning the President's connections to all this?" asked Peter.

"You are onto something," said Gabrielle.

Meanwhile...

"Foo Fighters," said Johnny. "What the hell do you think should we do? Do we just charge in there and attack everyone? If you get bitten, won't they have a mutated regenerating Velociraptor or whatever?"

The pair look from above a higher hill looking down at the Velociraptors sniffing the air.

"Yep, yep! They're practically dead and it's irreversible," said Foo Fighters. "Or I could just snipe them!"

The tip of her index finger splits open as she points to one of the velociraptors.

"Wait! No!" whispered Johnny.

*PEW!!!*

*SPLAT!!!*

One velociraptor is killed and the others all shriek and run around, sniffing the air to search for the enemies. One then bobs its head and they all immediately disappear.

"Where'd they go?" asked F.F. She sniffs the air. "Oh, dear God."

Johnny woges into the Ghost Rider King. His lips slowly burn to open into a crisp as his teeth show. His eyes turn orange and burst into flames. His hair turns into a fire that dances in the wind. His skin and flesh burn and the only thing that is left is his skull.

"We have to get the hell outta here," hissed Johnny.

"SKREE!!!"

Raptors appear from all directions, charging toward Johnny and F.F.

Foo Fighters shoots all of them in the heads as Johnny carries her in his arms.

"RAUGH!!!" cried F.F. "STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM US!!!"

F.F. gasps for her breath. "Man, you are on fire... Literally... Kinda dehydrating me." 

Ghost Rider leaps upward and flies down into the lower ground and down the warehouse.

Ghost Rider then takes out his chain and thwips at the Velociraptors down below.

F.F. backflips and shoots at the Velociraptors around them.

"SKREE!!! SKREE!!!"

*PEW PEW PEW PEW!!!*

Each of their heads exploded into blood and flesh as Ghost Rider spins his chains. 

The Ghost Rider charges and decapitated many of the raptors that charge at him.

They all try to bite both, but F.F. morphs her hand into a large spike sword and stabbed all of them at once in their mouths.

"HELLFIRE!!!" roared Johnny, blasting large amounts of flames and burning all the raptors into a crisp.

A Velociraptor ends up biting Foo Fighters in the arm.

"Ow!" yelled F.F. She punches the raptor away.

She sighs in relief as the bitemark on her hand begins to sting the wriggle.

"What the-!?"

Slowly, her hand transforms into a raptor's hand.

"KYA!!!" yelled F.F.

F.F. then turns her other arm into a bony blade and chops her arm off, and regenerates.

F.F. then morphs more arms and punches at the Velociraptors that try and bite at her.

Boulders roll off the hill and they slowly morph into more raptors, which Ghost Rider eliminates by shooting flames at them.

The pair viciously roars and growls as they continue on to murdering all of the raptors.

Later...

*SPLAT!!!*

F.F. stomps on the last raptor's head, blowing its brains out.

F.F. pants in relief as she looks in the distance and sees the warehouse, with no more velociraptors on sight.

"Are they all dead?" asked Johnny.

"That's pretty gruesome, y'know?" smiled F.F. She goes grumpy and copies Johnny. "Ooh! Are they all dead!? Roar! Oog! That's pretty creepy if you ask me..." 

"Yeah... I know... It's just... I just get so angry in most of these fights, y'know?"

"You an' me both, bruthah!" yelled F.F.

"Ah... Well... I am a freak, after all."

"Yeah, you are! You have a skull for a fucking head!"

"Yep..."

"But you're not that big of a freak! I'm a freak, too! I possessed a dead body, and I'm an entity made of algae... Ooooh!"

"Wow... You are awfully disgusting."

"Thank you! You, too!"

Johnny smirks.

"Okay, fine! I will suck your dick!" smiled F.F.

"Excuse me, what?"

"What?" smiled F.F.

"SKREE!!!"

"Hold that thought on sucking my penis, THERE'S A DINOSAUR VAMPIRE!!!"

"Yeah, right! You just wanna change the sub-..."

A dinosaur vampire jumps down from the roof of the warehouse.

"Oh, look! A dinosaur vampire!" smiled F.F.

"Hey, asshole! I'm the King of the Ghost Riders, baby," said Johnny. "I eat Vamps for a living, capiche?" Johnny menacingly marches toward the being.

"Nice visible bones... I get to see them shatter..." sneered the Dinosaur-like Vampire. The woman has a red dress on with a brown trenchcoat. 

"Big talk for a sun-fearing mouth scum."

"Big talk for a God-fearing mouth bitch."

"Oh, that's it..." The Ghost Rider begins approaching Dr. Felicity Rekstein.

The Ghost Rider grabs her by the neck, and she didn't bother to attack.

"Look into my eyes, your soul is stained by the blood of the innocent, feel their pain..." he whispered horrifyingly.

Dr. Felicity simply laughed.

"Dr. Felicity Rekstein... Guilty... no... Innocent? Impossible..."

F.F. senses Johnny's thoughts. "Huh... She doesn't find herself guilty at all... huh? Vampires are immune to the penance stare..."

"Because they have no true soul..." said Johnny.

She then grabs his neck and her claws sink into them, beginning to suck the hellfire in his body. She is burned, so she sneers and freezes his flames.

Ghost Rider shrieks. "HOW!?"

"She lowered her body temperature!" yelled F.F., running toward Johnny, whose flames slowly froze. "FOO FIGHTERS!!!"

*PEW PEW PEW!!!*

Plankton began entering Dr. Felicity's bloodstream and the wounds expanded. She then explodes out blood and puss along with some plankton.

She sighs and simply regenerates.

"Oh, hell..." said Johnny.

Johnny grabs the Vampire by the neck with his chain and slams her into the ground over and over, but she just keeps regenerating.

"I cannot burn her soul..." 

"Wait... if Stands are a representation of the spirit, then why does she have a Stand if she's soulless?" asked F.F.

Johnny chokes the Vampire lady, who holds herself on the ground.

"Spirit is not a soul. Your soul is yourself, your spirit is what gives you emotion, heart, meaning, and values...This Vampire... Is just pure willpower... pure want... pure id... Worse than a child's. No... Children have love... Vampires cannot love... halflings do, but pure Vampires simply cannot love... I do not know how to kill this creature, Foo Fighters! I need... your... help! Something that has Sunlight or Hamon!? Anything!!!"

"Uh... It's as if it's more advanced than I am... I once fought a guy just like this one! What did we do!? What did we do!? We used a grenade! No... we don't have that right now... How, then!? HOW!? Wait..."

F.F. remembers the U.V. Light thrown at her when the audience threw objects at them.

She takes out the U.V. Flashlight and points it at her face.

*click*

She then fossilized and backs up and into the warehouse.

"BACK!!!" yelled F.F. "Back, you savage! Back! Back!" F.F. keeps on pointing at the Vampire. "Boy, am I stupid!"

"You could've used these on the zombies, you know? And you would've made it easier," said Johnny.

"Yeah..." said F.F. "BACK!!!"

The doors slam open as Dr. Felicity, now half-fossilized, keeps backing away as F.F. grabs the DISC from the ground.

"Hold this," said F.F., giving the U.V. Light to Johnny.

F.F. then inflates her boobs and places the DISC between them. "Tada!" smiled F.F. F.F. turns to Johnny and sees that he's checking her out. "Like what you see, bone boy?"

"Yeah," said Johnny.

"Great! Because she's y'know... she escaped..."

The pair turn in front and see that the Vampire had escaped.

"Haha!" Johnny woges back to his human form. "I kinda knew that... I just wanted an excuse to see 'em."

"Haha!" laughed F.F. pointing at Johnny with both hands. "Of course ya did! Wanna blow up hotdogs in the room microwave back at the hotel?" she said walking away.

"Yeah!" smiled Johnny, walking away with her.